Tag Archives: Loss

Today Is The Day

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! Today is the day of my grandma’s funeral. I’m not sure I am doing at this current moment in time however I suspect I’ll become more emotional as the funeral time come closer.

I am looking forward to playing my flute at my grandma’s funeral. There is something about music that brings people together. My grandma always encouraged me to play my flute and never forced me to practice which made me want to practice just for her.

Thank you so very much for reading my blog. It is much appreciated from my end. Peace Out, World!!!

Dreading Tomorrow

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! Tomorrow is my grandma’s funeral. It is going to be an extremely tough day for my family and I. I am not wanting to say goodbye to my grandma. I miss her so much.

Instead of giving a speech I will be a playing my flute at my grandma’s funeral. It’s something she loved even though I don’t play all that well. My uncle is giving the eulogy while my other uncle as well as my dad share some stories. Of course my grandpa will be sharing some things as well.

Thank you for reading. It’s much appreciated especially now. Peace Out, World!!!

The Waiting Game

Posted on by Gertie

I am sitting here waiting for my family to come pick me up so we can head over to Spokane for my grandma’s funeral. Spending five plus hours in the car with my family will be challenging which is why I am going be making my backpack a DBT bag for the next couple of days.

For me making sure I have the tools or skill I need to not make the situation worse is the key to what DBT is about. Plus I will feel better about myself if I do what I need to do.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Plans

Posted on by Gertie

Sunday

  • Blog
  • Head to Spokane for Grandma’s funeral
  • Read

Monday

  • Blog
  • Attend Grandma’s funeral
  • Hang out with friend

Tuesday

  • Blog
  • Head back to Seattle
  • Read
  • Clean apartment

Wednesday

  • Blog
  • Therapy
  • Clean apartment

Thursday

  • Blog
  • Dr. Appointment
  • Clean apartment

Friday

  • Blog
  • See case manager
  • Go to DBT group
  • Therapy

Saturday

  • Blog
  • Lunch with friends
  • Volunteer

 

In Physical Pain (Not Looking For Sympathy)

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! I am in physical pain from breaking my hand. Never hit a brick wall because the brick wall always wins. I am not asking for empathy nor am I asking for sympathy. I am just venting my frustrations about me self harming.

I think I have had enough self pity about me harming myself. Now on to being productive. I need to pack to go to Spokane tomorrow for my grandma’s funeral on Monday.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Check-In

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! This is a difficult as I am typing with a broken hand. I broke my hand by punching brick wall. Never punch a brick wall as you will always loose to the brick wall. I have learned my lesson to use my skills instead of harming myself.

I didn’t go to my volunteer job because of dealing with the grief of my grandma’s death. I think that is why I got so angry. Angry that my grandma passed away. I wish my grandma didn’t die. I miss her so much.

Not much happened this week. Just dealing with the grief of my grandma and helping plan her funeral for Monday. Oh yeah Seattle got some snow and it has been frigid cold here as well.

Thank you for reading my blog. No need to worry about me as I won’t self harm. Peace Out, World!!!

Everyday Inspiration; Day 13: Play with Word Count

Posted on by Gertie

Today’s assignment is to play with word count. I don’t have an exact number I want to have in regards to writing as I feel like it is limiting to me as writer. Yes, I realize if I ever write a memoir of my life, that I would have to limit the amount I have to say.

On that note, my grandma’s funeral is coming up in a few days and will be speaking at it. I don’t like speaking in crowds but this is something my grandma would want me to do. I know she would be proud of me when I do as she is aware of my fear of public speaking.

Thank you for reading. I think I need to write what I’m going to say at my grandma’s funeral. Have a wonderful weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

Just a Rambling or Two

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I was able to get back to sleep after my last post discussing about how I woke up from a nightmare. Nightmares are not my idea of fun and not conducive to one getting sleep.

Right now I am thinking about my grandma and her funeral on Monday.  I miss her so much and its going to be difficult to say goodbye to her on Monday. I just want my grandma back so much. I love her so very much.

I think once I am done blogging I will do The Mindfulness Workbook that I’ve been working on. It’s helping me overcoming fear and embracing compassion. I am enjoying doing this workbook as well the other workbook I am doing.

I think I am going to get going and do my workbook. Thank you very much for reading my blog. It is much appreciated. Peace Out, World!!!

Snowing In Seattle, Again

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It’s snowing again in Seattle. The weatherman inform people that it’s “not currently snowing in Seattle.” Well, I am sorry to say but it is snowing in my neighborhood and I live in Seattle.

Despite it snowing, I went and saw Gilbert earlier today. We discussed my grief with my grandma and her funeral on Monday. We also discussed the symptoms of my PTSD, Anxiety and Depression as well as what I can do to keep myself safe if self-harm urges are to appear. (NO, I don’t have urges to self harm nor am I suicidal.) We came up with a safety plan as a precaution as I’m going to be spending a great deal of time with my family. Don’t get me wrong I love my family, they just know how to get under my skin and vise versa.

Speaking of family, I want to call my grandpa. Have a great weekend and Peace Out, World!!!

Woo Hoo!!! U.S.A Women Win Gold In Hockey!!!

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! I’m watching the United States versus Canada women’s hockey game and the U.S just won. Woo Hoo!!! As many of you know that the United States and Canada have a huge rivalry in hockey and tonight’s Gold Medal game went into a shoot out round to determine the winner. Happily and  surprisingly the U.S.A won.

Watching the Olympics have been quite helpful for me especially since my grandma passed away a week ago today. It’s been quite helpful for me during sleepless nights as well. I really miss my grandma and I think that the U.S.A winning the women’s hockey is a sign from my grandma that I do have the strength to carry on.

Thank you for reading my blog. It is much appreciated. Peace Out, World!!!