Tag Archives: Love

Self-Care Saturday

Posted on by Gertie

I’m sitting here trying to figure out what to do now that my laundry is done. I’m not even sure if I am up to going out and about because I’m a lil on edge due to PTSD symptoms. PTSD is quite difficult to deal with as the symptoms can pop up at any given point in time of day or night. It sucks a great deal.

As much as PTSD sucks, I cant let it get in the way of letting me live my life. But then again sometimes my PTSD symptoms acts up a little bit more when I am needing do take a day to do good self-care. I also have be a lil wary to make sure it is a sign to do good self-care because it can be symptoms of other diagnosis trying to sneak their way in.

As I decipher if I am needing to make an extra effort to do good self-care by laying low today, I need to go and do some light grocery shopping. In fact Junior and I are going to go grocery shopping together. We are thinking about staying in this weekend.

Yes, part of the reasoning of staying in is due to my PTSD symptoms. The other part is that we are wanting to spend some quality time together. Quality time together for us means talking about what’s going on in our lives, discussing current events as well as the books we are reading, watching movies and just plain ole enjoying each others company. If our quality time leads to making love then its a plus. A plus because of the severity of the PTSD symptoms I am having.

Despite the increase of my PTSD symptoms, I am grateful that things are slowly starting to improve. That means my concentration is improving and finally able focus on reading. I’m reading an awesome book called “High Price” by Carl Hart. I am hoping once I’m finished with the book, I will do a book review on it.

I think I need to end this post as Junior is wanting to go grocery shopping so he can make me “something special for dinner.”  Junior is an awesome cook and look forward to whatever he makes. As I end this post, I want to thank you for reading. Thanks!!! Peace out!!!

 

 

Weekly Check-In

Posted on by Gertie

It is Saturday morning and that means its time for my weekly check-in. I enjoyed my three day weekend last week.

I unfortunately called in sick most of last week because I wasn’t feeling well. I was dealing with a migraine that just wouldn’t go a way. Missing work is not my favorite thing especially since I love my job. I did end up going to see my doctor yesterday. She agrees that it was a migraine. She suspects that my migraine was caused by a combination of weather change, allergies, the fluorescent lights in my work environment and my depression symptoms increasing.

My doctor prescribed  me some allergy and migraine meds as well as suggested ways to decrease my exposure florescent lights. For example go for two, ten minute walks to get some natural light which will also help with my depression symptoms. My doctor also informed me that she would be in communication with my therapist and psychiatric nurse practitioner.

Long story short, my doctor did get a hold of my therapist who in return called me. Diana and I discussed on ways I can decrease my depression symptoms. We of course discussed the skills that help the most. The plan we came up with was to hang out with people from my natural support systems or at least call and talk to some of them on the phone. Other things on the list are, to blog, go on a walk, color, journal, read, and of course lots of chocolate.

Its amazing that I have health care professionals that are willing to communicate with each other. You don’t find that much now a days or at least here in the United States. I am grateful that I have people who look out for me. My therapist emailed Junior and Mama Bear to let them know what was going on even though they both already knew. Junior is working an overtime shift so he’s been checking up on me via text. Mama Bear took me out to breakfast and did some walking.

Yes, I still have my migraine but at least the pain is subsiding with meds and skills. I am grateful that I have health care professionals in my life that care. I am just as grateful that I have natural support system the love and care about me. Have a wonderful weekend everyone and peace out all.

The Perspective of the Fiancé

Posted on by jjuniorz

Once again Gertie has asked me to blog about what it is like from my perspective. A perspective that she is unable to give and desires to have on their blog. I do have perspective she does not have.

I see Gertie as this wonderful beautiful person. Something I wish Gertie would see in themselves. Gertie is quite enduring and has one the fiercest sense of humor I know. In fact Gertie’s sense of humor along with her smile is what ultimately caused me to fall in love with her.

My love for Gertie continues to go more and more each moment of everyday. I just wish I could write more. I am doing a twenty four shift as I am a firefighter and I would like more time to give my perspective on Gertie and her recovery and what it is like to be a support to her. I love her with all my heart.

I hope to post more next Friday when I am not at work. Have a Happy Friday all.

Gertie Asked For A Different Perspective

Posted on by mamabearraine

It has been a while since my first contribution to Gertie’s blog. Before I go on, let me re-introduce myself. I am a friend and motherly figure to Gertie. Gertie lovingly refers to me as “Mama Bear” and that is what I will go by on their blog.

As I mentioned in the introduction I have taken Gertie under my wing. Gertie so desperately needed a motherly figure that I was willing to take that on. I didn’t meet Gertie till she was 21 when she was near death due to a serious suicide attempt. Over the years Gerties attempts on her life as well as self harm behavior became less and less. One day my crew and I were shopping at the grocery store where she use to work and that is how myself and Junior slowly got to know her and befriend her. As frustrating as Gertie can be at times it has been one of my greatest pleasures in my life being able to see her grow. Grow into the person she is now.

Yes, Gertie has had her struggles recently but I really think that the support system she has created has helped a great deal. I also think that Gertie’s new job position at work has helped as well.

I hope that over time I will discuss with you what it is like to not only be part of Gertie’s support system but what it is like to be a mother of two children who have a diagnosed mental illness. I also would like to talk about my role as a firefighter and the role mental health plays on my job description and the encounters I have experienced dealing with folks with mental illness. I have a many different views of mental illness in my own personal life that I hope I can bring to Gertie’s blog. I am part of her “journey” and can give you view that she is not able to give.

As I end this post, I would like to thank you for reading. I am giving a perspective that Gertie is wanting on her blog. I am glad to be able to give that perspective. Thank you for the willingness to read my perspective and read from someone else other than the main person who write on this blog.

Mama Bear

Happy Labor Day

Posted on by Gertie

Happy Labor Day!!! It is Labor Day here in the United States. While Labor Day is now a three day weekend for many people, many others still have to work. Here is a link to a USA Today news article about how Labor Day got its start: http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2016/09/04/labor-day-history/89826440/.

This Labor Day weekend Junior and I have pretty much been laying low and staying home. Or at least not really going any where more than five miles away from home. Our goal for this weekend is to spend quality time together without spending much money and to avoid crowds as much as possible with one exception. We  did attend a college football game and I am happy to say that the team Junior and myself were rooting for won by a landslide. And yes the team we saw play is less the five miles away from home.

It’s been nice just staying home and do nothing. Most importantly its been nice to spend time with  Junior. As I look back on the 11 1/2 years of working this is the first Labor Day I have had off and am taking advantage of it by being with the man I love.

I don’t have much more to talk about. I hope you all enjoy your Labor Day. Don’t forget to thank those who are working today. Have a good day off if you have today off. Peace Out, everyone!!!

The Not So Interesting Topic of Blogging

Posted on by Gertie

I know I have discussed this multiple times and I am sure you are getting a little tired of me discussing the topic of blogging and getting back into it on the regular basis. So, I’m going to attempt to keep this post short. Note that the word attempt is the key word.

Once again, I decided to sign up for one of the courses WordPress puts on. It’s a five day course focusing on commenting basics. The course is geared toward the person to interact with others on their blogs. In this case that person is me. I realize that part of blogging is making sure I interact with others on their blogs and I have been lacking in that area of blogging. Which is why I am choosing to do the course. Plus, it’s only five days and I know with my work schedule that I would be able to do this.

If you remember a few month back I decided to have Junior my fiancé and the woman I consider a motherly figure, I call Mama Bear write an introduction of themselves because I want them to be able to contribute to my blog. Well, I talked with them again about writing a post once to twice and month and they agreed they would. In fact they both agreed they would post once a week. I am happy that they are willing to post weekly. The links Junior’s and Mama Bears introductions are: https://gertiesjourney.com/2016/05/29/introduction-junior/ and  https://gertiesjourney.com/2016/06/01/introduction-mama-bear/. I hope you take the time to read them.

This leads me to my next idea of making a schedule of posting more regularly. For me having a schedule is key to my recovery and it if having a schedule helps with my recovery it can help with my blog. As of yesterday, Saturday, September 2nd, I will be doing my weekly check-ins on Saturday mornings. Starting Wednesday, September 7th, Mama Bear will be posting on Wednesdays. Starting Friday, September 9th, Junior will posting on Fridays. Starting Sunday, September 11th I will be posting an educational piece on mental illness or a news article or story related to mental illness. Starting Monday, September 12th I will be getting back in my weekly prompts of writing fiction. From my end the only two days that need to be filled in regards to blogging are Tuesdays and Thursdays and I will be figuring out what to do for the remaining two days. At this point in time there will be no rush in figuring out what exactly will be on Tuesday and Thursdays because, I just want to make sure the I get into the groove with the new blogging schedule as well as reminding both Junior and Mama Bear to blog regularly so they can get in the groove of blogging as well.

I just hope I don’t let you my reader down if things don’t go as I plan. The reason for plan of having a regular schedule is because, I don’t want you my reader to get bored with my blog or to loose interest in my blog. I know I have stopped reading blogs because I have lost interest in them. Mainly, due to the fact that they don’t post on the regular basis. So, if I am posting on the regular basis, I hope people won’t loose interest.

Enough about me and my need find ways to keep my blogging active. I hope I didn’t bore you, although I am sure I did. I hope you have a nice and peaceful rest of your Sunday. Peace out, everyone.

Introduction: Mama Bear

Posted on by mamabearraine

Hello! Let me introduce myself. I am who Gertie refers to as Mama Bear. As you know, Gertie has asked me to be a contributor to her blog. I will be sharing my personal experience on what it is like to be a support system to someone who struggles  with a mental illness.

I have been asked to also share my experience on what it is like to be a parent of two children who are diagnosed with a mental illness. I may consider Gertie like a daughter, I have four other children. Two of which I had biologically and two of which I adopted. It is my adopted children that have a diagnosed mental illness. Not only will I be sharing my experience of what its like to be the support system of someone who struggles with a mental illness and being the parent of two children with a mental illness, I will be discussing what it is like to be a first responder who deals with the mentally ill.

I have known Gertie for nearly 16 years and have seen her grow. Grow in ways that many of us didn’t think could happen. We didn’t think it could happen because Gertie was so close to death due to multiple suicide attempts that we didn’t think should would make it. Gertie’s will and determination to start recovery and to remain in recovery is what has helped to get to the place she is in now. She is doing awesome. She is following her dreams of being in a romantic relationship with my colleague, Junior as well as working as a Peer Specialist to help show others recovery is possible.

I thank you for reading. I hope to post as often as I am able with being a working mother to four children and a motherly figure Gertie needs.

Mama Bear

Introduction: Junior

Posted on by jjuniorz

Hello! I want to introduce myself; I am Junior. I am Gertie’s fiancé. I was asked by Gertie to be a contributor of her blog from time to time. To share my experience on what it is like to be a partner and loved one of a person who struggles with a mental illness. I am not sure what exactly to say except that I love Gertie with all my heart, soul and mind.

My love for Gertie grows everyday and I wouldn’t change it for the world. Yes, it can be quite challenging at times when Gertie is in the height of a mental health relapse yet I have seen her grow in recovery over the last several years.

I first met Gertie when she had attempted suicide and my engine company as well as a Medic One Unit responded to the 911 call nearly sixteen years ago. Myself and the rest of the crew didn’t think she would make it. Unfortunately, this wasn’t the only time I had responded to Gertie attempting suicide however over the last sixteen years I have seen Gertie grow in strides.

Gertie has been focused on her recovery for quite some time now. She has struggled some and despite her struggles she gets more determined with her recovery as well as more resilient.

As time goes on I will share my experiences with being a partner of someone who struggles with a mental illness and how I take care of myself in the process especially when Gertie is in a mental health relapse. Thankfully, she is not in a relapse at the moment.

I will be sharing my experience as a first responder and how as I first responder I interact with those who have a mental illness and in crisis. I hope to share more with you soon

Junior

An Idea or Two

Posted on by Gertie

Good morning, everyone!! Or at least it’s still morning for another twelve minutes in my neck of the woods. I have come up with an idea or two for my blog. As many of you know that I recently acquired a writers magazine that has fifty-two writing prompts for every week of the year starting in on the first Monday in June. You may know that I have decided that I am going to do the weekly writing prompts here on my blog for the next year (52 weeks) starting in June. Of course this is an idea that I have had for a week or two and that  may or may not be new to you.

The idea or two that are new to you is that I was thinking about doing a weekly check-in with you all. I would do this weekly check-in with you all on Friday evening or Saturday morning or afternoon. It is my hope to engage you my reader a little bit more as well as to let you all know how things are going with me. Part of the reason why I am wanting to do this is I am realizing I am not blogging as much as I would like to and this will help me with being more regular about blogging.

The other idea of the idea or two is to have contributors to my blog. They would be people in my support network. For instance, I have Junior my fiancé to be a contributor and he thinks it’s a wonderful idea. Another contributor would be a friend of mine who has taken me under her wing and is a second mother to me. In fact she has been more of a mom to me than my own mother. I call her my Mama Bear and that’s how I will refer to her by here on my blog. Anyway Junior and Mama Bear both think its an “awesome idea.” They will both be posting at least once a month and posting from the perspective of having a loved one that struggles with a mental illness. They might even give the perspective of being first responders and dealing with the public and those of the public who struggle with mental illness. I am hoping with having contributors that it will give my reader and/or follower a different perspective on the side of mental illness and how it effects them and the stigma they to deal with.  I am not sure when my contributors will start but I will inform you when they do.

Before I go I hope that you like the idea’s I have come up with to keep you my reader and/or follower to continue to want to read my blog. I know when other bloggers I follow don’t post much, I start to loose interest and I hope that you all aren’t loosing interest in my blog.

Well, it is now exactly 12noon. So have a good afternoon everyone. I hope you all have a good weekend and Peace Out!!

Celebrating Three Years

Posted on by Gertie

Happy Earth Day!!! Today marks three years since Junior and myself starting dating. Who knew that when Junior and myself met fifteen and a half years ago that we would be engaged to be married.

I of course don’t remember the first time we met. The first time we met was one of the darkest times in my life. I had attempted suicide and a housemate had found me and called 911. Junior happened be one of the first responders that responded to the 911 call of my attempted suicide. As much as I was pissed off that I was saved that particular time and many other times, I am now grateful that my life was saved.

If my life wasn’t saved from the multiple suicide attempts, Junior and I wouldn’t be on a romantic get away to celebrate our three year anniversary. Celebrating my three year anniversary with Junior is another positive sign of me being in recovery with a mental illness.

Being in recovery is awesome and am happy to be celebrating three years with Junior. Junior and I left on our get away when I got off from work. We are celebrating out of town in hotel on the waterfront of a navel town. The first thing we did when we checked into our room we had tested out our jetted tub. We had some very intense and enjoyable adult fun in the tub which continued for another couple hours and ended in our nice king size bed. We then cuddled for another hour before we went out for dinner. After dinner we came back to the hotel and had more pleasure moments.

Now we are watching television as we cuddle and I blog. This getaway is much needed for the both of us and am looking forward to spending some quality time with Junior. I am sure we won’t be leaving the hotel room much due to having multiple and/or continued pleasurable moments.

Speaking of quality time, I think I should be going so I can spend time with Junior. Have a wonderful weekend everyone and Peace Out.