Tag Archives: Mental Health

Good Things In Therapy + Whining About 911 Outage

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! As many of you know who live in the United States there was a 911 outage due in most of the nation due to a network problem with Century Link. I am a Century Link customer for my land line and internet service and am grateful that my phone line and internet was not interrupted and have only had one issue with them in eighteen years of service. But for me a customer service issue is far different than a 911 outage and the 911 outage has me livid as hell. I won’t change companies because of the outage but have 911 go out in one city much less much of a nation is NEVER a good thing as people lives are at stake.

The worst part about the 911 outage is that the fire alarm system went off in my apartment building twice due to neighbors burning food and both time it didn’t alert the fire department. The alternative numbers that were given to us were busy so some of us, including myself, walked to the closet fire station which is only seven blocks away to let them know. The battalion chief was grateful for me and my neighbor for letting them know about the alarm system going off both times and the back up number not working both time. She even called “the powers at be” to let them know about the back up emergency numbers were not working.

I know that most of the 911 outages are taken care of here in Washington but it is still affecting parts of Seattle. It is effecting my neighborhood in Seattle which sucks. But at least the state and county are at least keeping people updated.

Now on to my session with my therapist today. We discussed what happened to my dad with his seizures as well as my mom overdosing on Heroin and how I able to not be in crisis myself after such a stressful holiday. He stated “with all the family crisis’s going on and the grief of your grandma, I am proud of you that you didn’t let you it put you into a crisis. You deserve to be proud of yourself.” We discussed how well I have been doing and that not calling the crisis team of the holidays shows major improvement in my recovery. Which is true. Even when I was doing extremely well, I had to call the crisis team at least once over the holidays and this year was the first time in over a decade that I didn’t have to.

I don’t have much more to say except that I have a great therapist. A therapist that is awesome. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend. Happy Friday!!!  Peace Out, World!!!

A Post With More Randomness

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! I thought today was going to be one of those laid back type of days but I ended up getting some motivation to clean some of my apartment. I decided to clean my kitchen. It is not completely clean but at least it is mostly clean. I guess part of the reason why I am suddenly getting spurts of motivation to clean my apartment is because I am starting to feel better regarding my mental health symptoms and I want to end 2018 on a better not than it started. Plus, starting 2019 with a clean apartment or at least a mostly clean apartment will start the new year on a good note. I think if I take fifteen to thirty minutes a day cleaning my apartment I will start to feel better about myself and have more motivation to keep it clean. Plus, if I keep it clean it won’t take as long to clean it.

Since it is almost the New Year, I am realizing I have more motivation than I have had in a really long time. In fact this is the most motivation I have regarding most area’s of my life in a little over two years. I’ll take all the motivation I can at the moment and I do what I can with the motivation. I am beyond grateful for the unexpected motivation and I owe it to the improved symptoms of my mental health challenges.

Not only did the motivation help me clean most of my kitchen, I also emailed my therapist regarding the drama over the Christmas holiday. If you want to know more about the Christmas drama read my post “Nothing Like A Lil Drama On Christmas Eve” and “Merry Christmas.” As I was saying I was saying I emailed my therapist regarding not needing to call the after hours crisis number that the agency I am a client of as well as not needing to safety plan with anyone including both natural and professional supports. I still haven’t received an email back form him nor do I expect to as he is in all day training today. He informed me of this when we were scheduling our appointment for this week which is tomorrow.

Before I end this post I want to ask you all a favor. As you may have noticed, I have advertisements on my blog. I have advertisements on my blog to earn some extra money. The only way I make extra money from the advertisements is if you click on them. I hope that you all click on them as I won’t get the money from people clicking on them till I hit one hundred dollars which sucks but I just need to earn twenty more dollars. So, please click on the advertisements so I can hit the one hundred dollar mark. I only get a few cents per ad clicked. So, please click on as many as you can before the end of December. It will be greatly appreciated.

Thank you so much for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope you all have wonderful rest of your Thursday. Again, thank you for reading my blog. I hope to blog again before the end of the year to wish you a Happy New Year. Peace Out, World!!!

There Is No Place Like Home

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am home from spending time with my family. I, actually arrived home yesterday (Wednesday, December 26th) evening but was not up to blogging or doing much of anything. The only thing I was up to doing when I got home was getting into my pajama’s and hanging out with my cat. I am so grateful to be home and I think, Lil Gertie, my cat, is glad to be home as she stayed at my grandpa’s when I was at my moms.

With all that happened over Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, I am surprised that I didn’t need to call the after hours crisis number for the agency I am a client of as it is something that usually happens with less drama. I did briefly talk with my therapist Christmas Eve for a short five minutes about my dad and his seizures. My therapist couldn’t talk longer as the agency was closing early and it was impressed upon them that they leave no later than a half an hour after closing. I informed him that if I needed to I might need to email him over the holiday and thankfully, I didn’t have to. Well, I did have to but was too busy dealing with family drama with my mom on Christmas Day to do so.

Anyway, when it was my plan to see my therapist today but when we went schedule for today during our last session he looked at his calendar and saw he had a training today so, I have an appointment with him tomorrow. I am looking forward to it as there is much I need to tell him about. I most likely will email him at some point today to update him on what happened with my mom on Christmas Day. I just want to make sure he is aware of things that are going on.

I really don’t have much more to say without repeating myself. I hope to blog again later today but I can not promise anything. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a great rest of their day. Peace Out, World!!!

Merry Christmas

Posted on by Gertie

Merry Christmas, World!!! It is Christmas evening in my corner of the world and have had a pretty okay day. My mom, uncle and I opened presents. I then did face time with my brother as I opened one of the gifts he gave me. He is at his dads for Christmas this year. After opening gifts, my mom, uncle and I watched a Christmas movie. We then went out to an early dinner and to walk around the lake.

Unfortunately, when we got back to my mom’s place, my uncle went next door to his place and well my mom decided to overdose on Heroin. Thankfully, I had some Naloxone (Narcan) on hand and administrated and then called 911. After calling 911 I went next door to his place to get him. When the first responders came, they took my mom to the hospital where she is staying the night.

I will be going home tomorrow even if my mom is still in the hospital. If she is still in the hospital when I leave, I will stop by to say bye to her. I am a bit disappointed that my mom decided to overdose on heroin again. I will be staying the night at my moms again tonight even though she is in the hospital. Thankfully, my uncle lives in the apartment next door to my mom so I feel safe even if he didn’t live next door I would still feel safe. My uncle has been checking up in on me and I am okay with that.

My PTSD and Depression symptoms are acting up at the moment. Some of the PTSD was triggered by my mom’s overdose and some was triggered by childhood memories due to trauma I experienced as a child at Christmas time.

I did reach out to some friends who live in my mom’s city and they have come by to visit with me. It feels good to have friends that live near my mom as if I need them when I am in town visiting my mom I have people to turn to. Having my friends and my uncle around has been a blessing today. As much as I wish my brother was around for Christmas, I am grateful he was not around this Christmas to see mom overdose once again. My brother is a great support to me but I usually am a support to him in regards to issues regarding my mom. So, I am grateful for my friends and family that were around today and am grateful my brother was not around for the drama of my mom.

I best be going as another friend is about to stop by to say hi. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is much appreciated from my end of things especially this time of year. Again, thank you for reading my blog. Have a Merry Christmas everyone. I hope that if you are already done with Christmas that you had a good one. Again, Merry Christmas. Peace Out, World!!!

Christmas Eve Grief & Depression

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, once again, World!!! It is still Christmas Eve and I still have not been able to sleep. The lack of sleep that is not helping with the emotions I am dealing with at the moment. Emotions I would rather not be dealing with at the moment.

Today, I will be celebrating Christmas with my dads side of the family and it happens to be the first Christmas without my grandma. I am dealing with the grief and sadness that goes along with it. Despite dealing with the difficult emotions of dealing with the first holiday without my grandma, I am looking forward to spending time with my dads side of my family.

I am however am dreading later this evening and tomorrow as I will be spending it with my mom’s side of the family. Sadly, my brother won’t be there as he will be spending the holiday with his dad. I am not looking forward to spending Christmas with my mom due to her being in active addiction.

Despite all of this my depression is acting up which sucks shit but it feels and looks like a typical Seattle Christmas minus the rain which is a good thing. I am not a big fan of rain but it wouldn’t be Christmas in the Northwest without rain so maybe we will get rain. Just as long as we don’t get snow, I will be okay with it as we had a white Christmas last year. The grey dreary Seattle weather fits my mood of being depressed. I hope that I somehow my spirits will be lifted some how and not by alcohol.

I am just really tired and hope I am able to take a nap at some point today. The lack of sleep sure is not helping my mood or my negative emotions. Sleep is crucial to having improved mental health symptoms or at least it does for me.

I better be going. I need to take a shower and eat small breakfast. I also need to pack some last minute things for my trip to my moms after I spend Christmas Eve with my dads side of the family. I hope that those of you who celebrate Christmas have a great holiday. Peace Out, World!!!

Sleepless In Seattle

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is just after four in the morning in my corner of the world and I have not slept a wink all night. It is kind of frustrating as I will be celebrating Christmas with my dads side of the family today and then head off to my moms later this evening. I just don’t want to be a cranky bucket for anyone in my family.

I most definitely don’t want to be a cranky bucket when I am at mom’s as she and my uncle want me to go to the midnight church service with them to bring in Christmas. I don’t consider myself Christian but if my mom wants me to go to church as part of her Christmas gift from me to here I might as well. It won’t hurt me going just this once.

In fact I have been looking into Buddhism for awhile now and am going to start attending a Buddhist temple in the new year. Or at least that is my goal at the moment. I know Buddhism and Christianity don’t go hand and hand but I can respect other people’s religion. My mom doesn’t like the fact that I have been looking into Buddhism which is why I think she want me to go to church as part as my gift to her.

I best be going. I am hoping to at least get some sleep in. I hope everyone has a good holiday if you celebrate Christmas. Thank you for reading my blog. It is much appreciated. Peace Out, World!!!

It’s Officially Christmas Eve

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is officially Christmas Eve in all of America. I don’t know how how to feel about it being Christmas Eve as I am tired as hell because I have not been to sleep yet due to insomnia. I also don’t know haw to feel about it because it is the first Christmas Eve without my grandma. Grief has stricken me hard at the moment. At least my cat, Lil Gertie, is helping me a great deal.

On top of not being able to sleep and dealing with grief, my depression and PTSD symptoms are increasing as well. I am debating whether or not to email my therapist about how I am doing at the moment. I think he will be in the office till about one in the afternoon today but I am not a hundred percent sure.

I do know that today, tomorrow and Wednesday, I will be dealing with family and I just need to make sure I have my ducks in a row as best as I can keep them in a row. What I need is some freaking sleep. Hopefully, I can get some sleep at some point today before I get to my mom’s tonight.

Maybe I should email my therapist so I could at least give him a heads up about how things are going for me at the moment. He already know it is going to be a challenging holiday for me. My therapist is awesome and appreciate him. In fact I am grateful for him and how much he has helped me with my recovery.

I don’t have much more to say as I want to try to get some sleep. I hope everyone who celebrates the Christmas holiday has a good Christmas. Have a wonderful holiday everyone. Peace Out, World!!!

Missed Most of the First Half of the Seahawk Game

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I am little pissed off at the moment. I missed most of the first half of the Seahawk game due to the fact that someone decided to cook food and catch their stove on fire while they shot up heroin. If someone wants to shoot up drugs, it is their issue however once your addiction affects me I will have an issue with it. But I also know that addiction is hell and nobody wants to be living in addiction.

Since the person was extremely high and unaware their food caught the stove on fire, the fire alarm was set off which means the fire department showed up. Thankfully, my neighbor and everyone else is okay. I am most grateful that my neighbor was not overdosing even though the fire department had my neighbor go to the hospital as a precaution. I am glad that they are going to be okay

Now, I am back to watching the Seahawk game. I hope the Seahawks continue to have the lead and beat the Chiefs. Have a wonderful Sunday evening world and enjoy whatever you are doing at this present moment. Let’s go Seahawks. Here is to hoping the Seahawks win. Peace Out, World!!!

Let’s Go Seahawks

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I realize I posted not to long ago but I just wanted to let you know that I have gotten most of my packing done which is a good thing. I also cleaned my bathroom which always makes me feel much better for some odd reason.

Now I am sitting down with a cup of hot chocolate watching the Seattle Seahawks play against the Kansas City Chiefs here in Seattle. I, of course am rooting for the Seahawks. There is nothing like being in my pajama’s drinking hot chocolate watching some football.

Yes, I know it is barely the first quarter of the game and I just recently posted my last post but blogging is good self care for me as is watching some football. Of course it helps being at home comfortable in pajama’s with hot chocolate and a cuddling cat. I am grateful that most of my packing is done and that my bathroom is clean.

I am going to go and watch the Seahawk game. As of right now the score is Kansas City Chiefs: 0 and Seattle Seahawks: 7 and is barely the first quarter. Let’s go Seahawks!!! I hope everyone has a good holiday and enjoys the rest of their Sunday. Peace Out, World!!!

A Woe Is Me Moment

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! Right now I am not doing so well. I am dealing with a ton a grief and increased symptoms of depression. I realize that as Christmas gets closer that the grief will increase due to my grandmas death and I know that the symptoms of the PTSD will increase due to childhood trauma that happened around this time of year. So, the next few days will be quite difficult for me and I hope that when I am staying at my moms that I will have access to WiFi so I can keep you up to date on how things are going.

At this moment in time I am trying to figure out what to do with the rest of my day. I know I have to pack to get ready to be gone for a few days. Don’t worry Lil Gertie will be staying at my grandpa’s when I am at my mom’s. At least the one thing I don’t have to figure out for the rest of the day is buying gifts and wrapping them as I am already done with doing that chore.

In all honesty I am not sure what to do with the rest of my evening. I know I have to pack and really don’t want to do that. Some of the things I have to pack are going to be last minute stuff like Lil Gertie’s food and water dishes as well as her food. Packing shouldn’t really be a problem as I will be spending most of tomorrow at my grandpas and then tomorrow evening I will be going to my moms and coming home the day after Christmas. I guess, I’ll pack what I can and then watch movies.

When I pack I have to make sure I have all my coping skills I can bring with me as my mom can get on my last nerve especially since this year I am not staying a hotel but at her place. I am taking plenty of books, comic books as well as coloring stuff. I am also taking my computer with plenty of movies and hopefully I can get on someone’s WiFi as my mom does not have WiFi.My mom doesn’t have cable either so at least if I can’t get any WiFi from someone else I will still have my laptop for movies that I will bring.

Thank you for reading my blog. I don’t have much else to say. I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday. Peace Out, World!!!!