Good Morning, World!!! I think my funk is now becoming a struggle. The struggle is becoming real. Real as the words you are reading on this post. I am not wanting to be in another struggle with intense mental health symptoms as I don’t know how much I will be able to handle. No I am NOT suicidal nor am I at risk of harming myself. I just fear that I could become suicidal which is something I will have to notify my therapist about.
Speaking of emailing my therapist, I think it is something I will need to do after I am done writing this post. The reason why I am thinking I am in need of emailing my therapist is because this is the third night in a row where I have not been able to sleep. Sadly, my sleep medicine wasn’t helpful tonight. Another thing I think my therapist is needing to know is that I haven’t showered since Wednesday (March 20th) which is not a good thing. I also think it would be a wise idea to inform him that my psychosis is starting to act up again. For me my psychosis includes hearing voices and when I am in an extreme depression I start seeing things. Thankfully, I am not seeing things and only hearing voices. Thankfully the voices are only at a whisper at the moment. I am nervous that if I inform my therapist of this that I could be put into the hospital but overall I am pretty in control of things at the moment with the exception of the dissociation. I really think emailing my therapist about everything I have mentioned will be a good thing as it is something he will need to know so he would know how to help me during our session. My therapist is pretty cool. I trust him. I really think he does understand most of what I experience with my mental health challenges.
Something I am doing in regards hearing whispering voices nobody else can hear is listening to music. Music helps drown out the voices and that is extremely helpful for me to deal with the voices. It is amazing how helpful and soothing music is for people who have mental health conditions. Hell, music even helps “normal” people. I love the fact music is quite helpful. If it wasn’t for music I wouldn’t have graduated high school and I really think it has been quite helpful in helping me not die by suicide. Just a reminder I am not a risk of attempting suicide or self harming. Music is one of things I think that speaks to everyone.
I do not have much more to say as I don’t want to end up repeating myself. Plus I am needing to email my therapist about the increase of my mental health symptoms. I hope everyone has a good Monday. I also hope that everyone has a good work week if you work a typical Monday thru Friday week. Peace Out, World!!!
Good Afternoon, World!!! I thought today was going to be one of those laid back type of days but I ended up getting some motivation to clean some of my apartment. I decided to clean my kitchen. It is not completely clean but at least it is mostly clean. I guess part of the reason why I am suddenly getting spurts of motivation to clean my apartment is because I am starting to feel better regarding my mental health symptoms and I want to end 2018 on a better not than it started. Plus, starting 2019 with a clean apartment or at least a mostly clean apartment will start the new year on a good note. I think if I take fifteen to thirty minutes a day cleaning my apartment I will start to feel better about myself and have more motivation to keep it clean. Plus, if I keep it clean it won’t take as long to clean it.
Since it is almost the New Year, I am realizing I have more motivation than I have had in a really long time. In fact this is the most motivation I have regarding most area’s of my life in a little over two years. I’ll take all the motivation I can at the moment and I do what I can with the motivation. I am beyond grateful for the unexpected motivation and I owe it to the improved symptoms of my mental health challenges.
Not only did the motivation help me clean most of my kitchen, I also emailed my therapist regarding the drama over the Christmas holiday. If you want to know more about the Christmas drama read my post “Nothing Like A Lil Drama On Christmas Eve” and “Merry Christmas.” As I was saying I was saying I emailed my therapist regarding not needing to call the after hours crisis number that the agency I am a client of as well as not needing to safety plan with anyone including both natural and professional supports. I still haven’t received an email back form him nor do I expect to as he is in all day training today. He informed me of this when we were scheduling our appointment for this week which is tomorrow.
Before I end this post I want to ask you all a favor. As you may have noticed, I have advertisements on my blog. I have advertisements on my blog to earn some extra money. The only way I make extra money from the advertisements is if you click on them. I hope that you all click on them as I won’t get the money from people clicking on them till I hit one hundred dollars which sucks but I just need to earn twenty more dollars. So, please click on the advertisements so I can hit the one hundred dollar mark. I only get a few cents per ad clicked. So, please click on as many as you can before the end of December. It will be greatly appreciated.
Thank you so much for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope you all have wonderful rest of your Thursday. Again, thank you for reading my blog. I hope to blog again before the end of the year to wish you a Happy New Year. Peace Out, World!!!
Good Morning, World!!! I am home from spending time with my family. I, actually arrived home yesterday (Wednesday, December 26th) evening but was not up to blogging or doing much of anything. The only thing I was up to doing when I got home was getting into my pajama’s and hanging out with my cat. I am so grateful to be home and I think, Lil Gertie, my cat, is glad to be home as she stayed at my grandpa’s when I was at my moms.
With all that happened over Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, I am surprised that I didn’t need to call the after hours crisis number for the agency I am a client of as it is something that usually happens with less drama. I did briefly talk with my therapist Christmas Eve for a short five minutes about my dad and his seizures. My therapist couldn’t talk longer as the agency was closing early and it was impressed upon them that they leave no later than a half an hour after closing. I informed him that if I needed to I might need to email him over the holiday and thankfully, I didn’t have to. Well, I did have to but was too busy dealing with family drama with my mom on Christmas Day to do so.
Anyway, when it was my plan to see my therapist today but when we went schedule for today during our last session he looked at his calendar and saw he had a training today so, I have an appointment with him tomorrow. I am looking forward to it as there is much I need to tell him about. I most likely will email him at some point today to update him on what happened with my mom on Christmas Day. I just want to make sure he is aware of things that are going on.
I really don’t have much more to say without repeating myself. I hope to blog again later today but I can not promise anything. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a great rest of their day. Peace Out, World!!!
Good Evening, World!!! Today, overall has been a good day. Yes, I have had some down moments however it has mostly been a good day. I spent most of the day with my grandpa. He picked me up and I went over to his place and did two loads of laundry.
As my second load of laundry was in the washer and first load was in the dryer, my grandpa and I finished up our Christmas shopping which means we are the only two on my dads side to be done with shopping. As my second load of laundry was in the dryer I wrapped all my gifts which is relief as I don’t have to worry about last minute shit. I even put all the stockings together.
So, even before all what I did today, I emailed my therapist inviting him to the day treatment’s holiday party. He emailed me back later in the day saying that he would make an appearance which make me happy because it shows he is interested in my recovery and me making new traditions for myself. He also said he wanted to do a brief check in with me tomorrow since I will already be there. I emailed him back and said that would be great to do a check in since I won’t have an appointment with him till the 28th of December.
When I got home from day with my grandpa, I of course checked my email and found out my therapist would be going to the holiday party tomorrow. After replying to his email, I then did some chores. I put away the laundry I did at my grandpa’s. I did the dishes and deep clean the litter box. After that I did some good self care and took an hour long shower. I usually only take a fifteen to twenty minute shower and occasionally a half an hour shower so a one hour shower for me is very rare but today I felt like it was needed. Now I am waiting for my hair to dry so I can attempt to go to bed by eleven even though it is not even nine thirty in my neck of the woods yet.
Well, I do not have much else to say. So, I am going to end this post for now. I hope everyone has a good rest of their evening and/or night. Peace Out, World!!!
Good Morning, World!!! It is still Monday morning in my corner of the world and unfortunately I am still struggling with depression symptoms which sucks shit. Since my last post and since I am still struggling I decided to email my therapist in hopes that he will call me at some point today to check in with me even though I have an appointment with him tomorrow (Tuesday) afternoon. My therapist is usually pretty good with checking in with me when I email and/or call him when I am struggling.
Since, it is only ten o’clock in the morning in my corner of the world and am waiting for my therapist to get back to me, I have managed to do some self care. The self care includes me cleaning out the cat’s litter box (yes, I know that is weird), taking a shower and getting me some food to eat. The shower was quite helpful as I had not taken a shower since Friday evening. I had left over pizza for breakfast.
Another thing I have done since my last post as I wait for my therapist to call me from the email I sent is I went and picked up my meds. I am still on weekly med pick ups and I hope when I see my psychiatric nurse practitioner next week that she will be willing put me back on monthly med pick ups. I am grateful that I don’t have to pick up my meds from my mental health agency and am even more grateful that they aren’t daily pick ups.
Now, I think I am going to spend time with my cat, Lil Gertie, as she has been attempting to get my attention as I have been writing this post. I love my cat very much. This is my first holiday season with her and I plan on spoiling her for Christmas. She is going to be receiving a lot of toys.
I don’t have much else to say in this post. I want to thank you for reading as it is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I am grateful for each one of you for reading my blog. Again, thank you for reading my blog. I hope everyone continues to have a great Monday. I also hope everyone has a great work week. For those who celebrate Hanukkah, I hope your last days of your holiday are well celebrated. Peace Out, World!!!
Good Morning, World!!! I can not seem to go back to sleep after being woken up by my cat, Lil Gertie, after a five hour nap. Of course when I attempted to go to sleep Lil Gertie wanted to play so I decided that I would play with her. Lil Gertie is one spoiled lil kitty. I love her so much.
To make my sleep issues even worse is that I have a migraine. Migraines are extremely painful. I am not sure what set off this migraine but my migraine medication ain’t working shit. I just hope the pain subsides so I don’t have to the stupid hospital again.
I’m wondering if my worries over not getting an email about a peer position interview I have on August 31st is what is causing part of my migraine. The lady who called me about it only mentioned her name once and I forgot to get her name again. I am hoping she emails me more of the details about the job interview so my worries and anxiety can subside. At least I will be working either a sixteen hours a week or thirty hours a week. I just hope she emails me sometime later today with more of the details and so I can ask more questions of her.
On a plus note the lady who wants to interview me for the shelter counselor position finally emailed me back explaining why she hadn’t set up an interview yet. It’s because others have been on vacation or out sick. She should be getting back to me by the end of the week via email. Lets hope I get emails from the individuals for both positions by the end of the week.
At least I know I have a least one job interview, I just wish remembered the ladies name. I can’t remember the name for the life of me which is why I am hoping for an email. Please send out positive vibes, energies, prayers or whatever that works for you that this woman emails me back or at least calls me back because I tried calling the number back it said it wasn’t taking any calls at this time. It didn’t even have a voicemail I could leave. I know things will work out in the long run but I still have my worries.
Well, it appears like Lil Gertie, my cat is wanting my attention again so I better give it to her. If I give it to her now, she won’t wake me up at four o’clock in the morning wanting scratch on the head or to play. She sure helps me a lot.
I hope my migraine goes away as I call it a night. I’ll play with Lil Gertie first and then attempt to fall back to sleep. Thank you for reading my boring ass blog. Especially since my post appear to be repetitive as of lately. I am grateful for your readership and Peace Out, World!!!
Good Morning, World!!! I got some sleep last night and woke up on this god awful hour because Lil Gertie woke me up form a nightmare. She woke me up with a like on the nose. With her waking me up from the worst part of the nightmare from happening she has done her job and I didn’t have to train her to do that.
I have quite a lot planned today. First I go see my doctor a ten this morning. I am looking forward to seeing her as she has been my doctor for nine years. She is going to do a check up after the attempt to take my own life last week. My doctor is awesome.
I will all so be starting Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) back up today. I am looking forward to this as it gives me the structure and skills I need to help myself. I love being able to help myself with the skills I know how to do has well as the ones I will be learning.
I emailed my therapist about the PTSD stuff and how Lil Gertie has been helpful for me. I attempt to only email him when I think he needs to know something soon. As someone who worked in the mental health field I know from experience that I am more likely respond to an email verses a voicemail.