A Post With More Randomness

Good Afternoon, World!!! I thought today was going to be one of those laid back type of days but I ended up getting some motivation to clean some of my apartment. I decided to clean my kitchen. It is not completely clean but at least it is mostly clean. I guess part of the reason why I am suddenly getting spurts of motivation to clean my apartment is because I am starting to feel better regarding my mental health symptoms and I want to end 2018 on a better not than it started. Plus, starting 2019 with a clean apartment or at least a mostly clean apartment will start the new year on a good note. I think if I take fifteen to thirty minutes a day cleaning my apartment I will start to feel better about myself and have more motivation to keep it clean. Plus, if I keep it clean it won’t take as long to clean it.

Since it is almost the New Year, I am realizing I have more motivation than I have had in a really long time. In fact this is the most motivation I have regarding most area’s of my life in a little over two years. I’ll take all the motivation I can at the moment and I do what I can with the motivation. I am beyond grateful for the unexpected motivation and I owe it to the improved symptoms of my mental health challenges.

Not only did the motivation help me clean most of my kitchen, I also emailed my therapist regarding the drama over the Christmas holiday. If you want to know more about the Christmas drama read my post “Nothing Like A Lil Drama On Christmas Eve” and “Merry Christmas.” As I was saying I was saying I emailed my therapist regarding not needing to call the after hours crisis number that the agency I am a client of as well as not needing to safety plan with anyone including both natural and professional supports. I still haven’t received an email back form him nor do I expect to as he is in all day training today. He informed me of this when we were scheduling our appointment for this week which is tomorrow.

Before I end this post I want to ask you all a favor. As you may have noticed, I have advertisements on my blog. I have advertisements on my blog to earn some extra money. The only way I make extra money from the advertisements is if you click on them. I hope that you all click on them as I won’t get the money from people clicking on them till I hit one hundred dollars which sucks but I just need to earn twenty more dollars. So, please click on the advertisements so I can hit the one hundred dollar mark. I only get a few cents per ad clicked. So, please click on as many as you can before the end of December. It will be greatly appreciated.

Thank you so much for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope you all have wonderful rest of your Thursday. Again, thank you for reading my blog. I hope to blog again before the end of the year to wish you a Happy New Year. Peace Out, World!!!

Just a Bunch of Randomness

Good Evening, World!!! I hope everyone is having a good Thursday evening. I am spending the night at my grandpa’s. I am doing so, so I can spend some time with him. I will be going home tomorrow afternoon. Yes, that means my cat, Lil Gertie, is home by herself. I have a friend who happens to be one of my neighbors that will look on my cat tomorrow morning to make she is okay which I have no doubt the she will be. My friend understands the desire to spend time with my grandpa. He friend also understand the need to check up on my cat.

I was asked this morning via text to see if I could work tonight. I didn’t want to work tonight so I told them I couldn’t because I wasn’t feeling good. I wasn’t exactly lying when I texted that I wasn’t feeling well because I wasn’t when I sent the text. Even though I wasn’t feeling all that great when I sent the text saying I was unable to work due to not feeling well, I could have worked tonight. I just really didn’t want to work.

I have some good news. I emailed my therapist yesterday to see if he could come by my apartment to on occasions to check the cleanliness of it so I can be held accountable to keeping it clean for my mental health and the health of my cat. He emailed me back saying his supervisor said yes just as long as another staff member came along. I emailed him back saying I have no problem with that. I told him I understand that it is for liability and safety reasons. I am happy that my therapist supervisor gave him the all clear to help me be held accountable in regards to the cleanliness of my apartment. No my apartment is not a disaster area but I have started to let my household chores go in recent weeks which is a sign of my depression starting to flare up again. I am grateful that my therapist is even willing to do this and then asked his supervisor who approved it.

I don’t have much else to say. Thank you so much for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end as if it weren’t for you my reader I wouldn’t have a blog. Have a good evening. Peace Out, World.

Blogging Through Shit

Good Morning, World!!! I am not sure what I am dealing with at the moment. One moment I am struggling and the next, I am okay. Since I am unsure what is going on with me emotionally, I tend to write in moments like this. Writing helps me process whatever the hell is going on. It helps me figure out what is going on.

As I write this post I am just going to write what is going through my head. This might be scary for you all as I am going to be blunt as hell and not hold back. Hell, what I think scares the shit out of me sometimes. The stuff coming out is not the scariest I have thought.

I am slightly worried about money for the month of May. Not as worried as I was in previous post but still worried. I know things will work out when it comes the money situation as I have people who can be of help to be if need be. I just don’t want to have to depend on them.

I wish my neighbor would turn down their stupid television. It is pissing me off and for some fucking reason it is trigger me. Why in the hell is someone’s loud television trigging me? Sounds silly but it is triggering for some odd reason.

I think I am going to read. I love reading and enjoy it immensely. I just don’t understand why it is taking me so long to read this particular book. It is an awesome book and will write a book review on it when I am finally finished with it.

I wonder who actually reads my blog. I mean is it reaching the people I want it to reach. Are people actually reading it or just “liking it” after reading a few sentences? I am trying to figure out why I only have just over three hundred followers after nearly four years of blogging. In fact I wonder if tags work sometimes. I know they must but I just wonder how many people actually go to the tags. I know I do.

I should really be doing chores right now. I need to clean my apartment. I clean my apartment once a week. Or I attempt to clean it once week. Nobody likes having to clean but it is a necessity that is part of being an adult.

I think I am going to go now. Thank you for reading. It is very much appreciated from my end. Peace Out, World!!!

Fighting Off Depression

Good Afternoon, World!!! I am feeling slightly better now that my apartment is clean. Having a clean apartment is helping with the depression but it’s still hanging over my head. As much as depression sucks shit, knowing what helps, helps subside the depression.

As challenging as my depression has been lately, making active decisions to stay in recovery is difficult yet well worth. Being in recovery is not easy but it is so much better than being miserable and not being in recovery.

Now that I am done cleaning, I am going to read. I am going to read Ship of Magic by Robin Hobb. I am enjoying the book immensely. If you are into fantasy or science fiction fan then I highly recommend the book.

After reading I might work on a workbook. Not sure which workbook I will work on but I will work on one as I feel the need to focus on my recovery. It is a way for me to fight off the depression. Hell, reading is to.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Plans

Sunday

  • Blog
  • Clean Apartment
  • Laundry

Monday

  • Blog
  • Art Group
  • Workbooks

Tuesday

  • Blog
  • Therapy
  • Workbooks

Wednesday

  • Blog
  • Clean Apartment
  • Workbooks

Thursday

  • Blog
  • Art
  • Workbooks

Friday

  • Blog
  • Art
  • Workbooks
  • Day Treatment

Saturday

  • Lazy day

An Accomplished Day

Good Afternoon, World!!! I sit here today feeling accomplished. Well, not exactly accomplished in a way others may few accomplished.

I started out the day with having an appointment with my new psychiatric nurse practitioner. She appears to be nice and recovery focused. She took me off of my Seroquel as she believes I don’t need to be on it as I am also on Abilify.

Next thing I did was file my taxes. I am not getting as much back this year as previous year because I didn’t work most of last year. I am okay with that as I am happy with what I am getting back.

The last thing I did was spend about an hour cleaning my apartment. It is nice having a clean place. Having my apartment clean helps my depression.

I wish this feeling of accomplishment was the same sense of accomplishment after a hard days work but I’m okay with it.  Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

 

Adulting With A Bit Of Fun

Good Evening, World!!! Today, was a day of adulting. I basically cleaned my apartment today as well as did some grocery shopping. I bought mainly some basic food to get me through to when I get my food stamps in a few days.

When I cleaned my apartment, I listened to music. Music that has helped me get through some tough shit as well some fun time. Music also helps me deal with the boring parts of being an adult like cleaning.

After I was done being an adult I decided to have some fun and read. Reading the book that I informed you about a post or two ago. I love reading as it helps me forget what is going on in life even just temporary.

Thank you so much for reading. Goodnight and Peace Out, World!!!

Just Another Beautiful Saturday!!!

     Well, it’s another beautiful Saturday and I am planning on enjoying it especially since the household chores are done. The bathroom is clean, laundry is done and my least favorite the dishes are sparkly clean. I like getting the household chores done first so I can get them done and out of the way so I can have fun the rest of the day or in this case the rest of the weekend.

     My boyfriend and I are going to go hiking again today. We are going to go in about an hour or so. I love hiking and so does he. I am grateful that I live in a big city that is only an hour or two to great hiking as well as some pretty good camping. Today, my boyfriend are only going to go hiking because this time of year the great camping areas near by are usually all filled up. Plus we like campsites that require some type of backpacking and those are at are about a 4 hours away by car plus another 3 or so hours hiking. I love camping especially backpacking type camping. In fact once my boyfriend finishes the frying up the chicken we are taking on the hike we will head out.

     My boyfriend is the sweetest man in the world. He is always so caring and loving. He is always thinking of fun things for us to do on days we are not busy with work and other such things. Its awesome that we enjoy a lot of the same things and have similar interest. In fact he loves it that I am a huge sports fan. We are both die hard baseball and football fans. He is a die hard soccer, basketball, and hockey fan while I am a die hard  track & field, roller derby, skateboarding, rollerblading and surfing fan. Its nice to have someone in my life who enjoys sports as much as I do.

     I best be going and help my boyfriend pack up the car for the hike. Have a great Saturday everyone. Enjoy the weather. Peace Out!!

It’s Still Sunday

     It’s still Sunday and its going better than I thought it would be going. Yes, the PTSD is still acting up however my boyfriend  is being very supportive. He is so amazing and extremely patient with me. Sometimes I wonder why my boyfriend loves me so much.

     Speaking of love one of my best friends is getting marred to her long time partner tomorrow (7/7/2014) evening. My friend and her girlfriend of 15 years asked me to be in the wedding and I of course said yes. I am so looking forward to it. Its going to be a small backyard wedding. I am grateful that I live in a state that allows my friends in the LGBT community to marry. It just baffles my mind why some people of faith have issue with others marrying the people they love when they are the same gender. It shouldn’t matter just as long as you love each other. I have friend who says that she is a Christian and she is telling me that I’m going to hell because I’m in a “gay” wedding. I don’t see what the issue is. I just don’t understand why people are so judgmental. Well, like I said earlier, I am looking forward to it.

     Tomorrow is going to be a busy day for me. I work tomorrow morning. Its only a four shift. I’m glad its an early shift because I have the rest of the day to do things like go to my friends wedding and go see my therapist. I may not like my job but I’m grateful I work tomorrow. I’ve been at my current employment for 9 years now and my co-workers have become family to me. In fact some of my customers have become like family to me. Working gives me a sense of community and that is a good thing for someone who deal with a mental illness. Like I was saying earlier my co-workers and some of my customers have become like family to me. We go to each others major events such as kids birthday parties, weddings, college graduations and stuff like that. Even though I am looking for a new job as a Peer Counselor I will miss my current co-workers because I’ve worked with some of them for the last 9 years. I really hope I can get a job as a Peer Counselor soon.

     Like I said earlier I see my therapist tomorrow. I will be talking to her about the 5 year anniversary of the trauma I experienced. I will also be talking to her about the strong urges I’ve had with cutting. No, I did not cut because I used my Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) skills. I will be talking about the minor urges I had regarding the eating disorder stuff. Mainly the bulimia but I should talk about the anorexia as well. I’m grateful that I’ve been in recovery from the eating disorders for 15 years now. I think that will take up an entire hour.

     Unfortunately, my boyfriend has to work tomorrow. He has been so supportive of me today regarding the PTSD. He is now telling me dinner is almost done and that I should finish up this blog entry soon. His cooking is fabulous. He is making spaghetti for dinner. We are having strawberry short cake for dessert. Strawberry shortcake is my favorite dessert. 

      I think I should get going now since dinner is almost done. I will blog tomorrow to tell you how work and therapy went as well as how the wedding went. I’m sure its going to be a beautiful wedding. Well, I hope to blog again tomorrow. Have good evening everyone. Peace out.

Good Morning!!!

     Good Morning!!! It’s another Sunday morning and its another rare Sunday I have off. In a way I wish I worked today because if I work Sundays, I get paid time and a third. I know that doesn’t sound like much but that extra money helps a great deal. 

     Well my boyfriend called me after he got off from work this morning. He invited me over for breakfast. I love the fact that loves to cook for me. He fixed me bacon, scrambled eggs and hashbrowns. I also had orange juice and chocolate milk to drink. Oh how I love chocolate.

     My plans for the rest of the day are to clean my apartment. It’s a disaster area in my opinion. Another thing a plan on doing to reading. I plan on reading A Tale of Two Cities, by Charles Dickens as well as some of the psychology text books I bout last night. I still cant believe I bought two psychology text books for $13.51 at Half Priced Books. I love learning. My boyfriend and I are going have dinner together as well. We might even watch a movie together. I just need to get my apartment clean. I also hope to blog again later. It all depend on how things go.

     I am trying to keep myself busy today because its the five year anniversary of a traumatic event. Even though I want to blog later on I may not be in the best head space. That’s why I need keep myself busy. I want to stay in at least an okay head space. That’s another reason why I’m going to be spending a lot of time with my boyfriend today. He is a great support to me.

     I need to get going. I need to clean my apartment. I’m hoping to blog again later. I hope that you all have good rest of your Sunday. Peace out.