Tag Archives: PTSD

Sleepless in Seattle Type of Night

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is 5:24 in the morning here in my corner of the world known as Seattle. I haven’t been able to sleep for multiple reasons. Some reasons are known like dealing with an never ending migraine which is a chronic pain issues. Other reasons is due to PTSD and insomnia while some reasons are unknown. Sadly, due to the lack of sleep and migraine, I am unable to volunteer at PAWS Cat City today due to the lack of sleep and the migraine. Yes, I did leave them three voicemails and an email letting them I won’t be there.

It makes me sad that I won’t be able to volunteer today due to insomnia and a migraine. I really love to volunteer at PAWS Cat City. They are an amazing organization. Plus, I get to help a community that has helped me with adopting my last cat, Lil Gertie and current cat Billie Dean. If it wasn’t for the awesome experience of the adoption with Lil Brooke I would have never become a volunteer. Yes, I also had an awesome adoption experience with Billie but by the time I adopted him I had already been a volunteer for a couple of months at PAWS Cat City.

Billie, my cat has been extra cuddly tonight as I think he knows I haven’t be feeling well. Part of wonders if the lack of sleep and migraine has any thing to due with the stress I am having around the holidays which includes the Holiday Blues, Depression, and PTSD that comes this time of year due to trauma related things. I am trying to make my own Christmas traditions around Christmas which are helping a great deal but some days or in this case nights are tougher than others days and/or nights.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you do read my blog as if it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. It really means a great deal to me that you do. Happy Holidays and Peace Out, World!!!

Holiday Blues

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! I am unable to sleep once again in my corner of the world known as Seattle. I am unable to sleep due to insomnia. I am wondering if the reason why I am having an insomnia time night is because all the holiday stuff I did yesterday (Saturday) regarding Christmas with shopping and wrapping everything. The also includes listening to Christmas music as I colored Christmas themed coloring pictures. I’m wondering all this because I have trauma and PTSD around the holidays.

I am feeling like I am having the holiday blues so I decided to do art by coloring but I decided to color non holiday coloring pages and listen to non Christmas music. It seems like with me doing this that my depression, PTSD and Holiday Blues symptoms are lessening which is a good thing. I think I am going to go to bed.

I hope you all have a good night. I want to thank you for reading my blog. I appreciate you the reader for reading my blog as if it was not for reading it, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Happy Holidays and Peace Out World!!!

Just a Bunch of Ramblings the Holidays

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! It is almost nine o’clock in the evening in my corner of the world known as Seattle. My cat Billie Dean is lay right next to me as I type this particular blog. Billie has be quite helpful to me the last few days. The last few days my depression and PTSD symptoms have slightly increased. It’s hard do know if it’s actual symptoms or the winter blues and/or holiday blues. Maybe it’s all of the about but I am just grateful that Billie is helping be feel better.

As the Christmas holiday gets closer, I become someone anxious about being around family. I love my family but some of them increase my anxiety. That is why I have plans in place to when family shit hits the fan, I have ways to do self care.

I don’t have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you for reading my blog. Happy Holidays and Peace Out, World!!!

Another Night Without Sleep With a Bit of Learning & Creativity

Posted on by Gertie

It is extremely extremely early in my corner of the world which is Seattle. It is cold for Seattle. Not cold as in snowing or freezing outside. It is just cold as the temperatures are below normal. At least it’s just really bad rain and wind and the temperatures are in the low 40’s.

Anyway, it’s not because of the “cold” weather why I am up at this god awful hour in the middle of the night. I am up in the middle of the night due to insomnia. I think part of the insomnia I am dealing with tonight is because of PTSD shit. Having PTSD and insomnia suck shit especially since I am unable sleep.

So, since I am unable to sleep, I am doing art. Actually the type of art I am doing is coloring. Of course as I am coloring I am listening to a podcast about philosophy. I am using creativity via art by coloring as I learn about philosophy but listening to a podcast. I am listening to “Philosophize This.” So, I guess by being creative while doing art, I am able to learn about philosophy.

Of course my cat, Billie Dean is keeping me company by sitting on my lap. Billie is purring up a storm which means he is just happy he is getting attention. Oh shit the fire department is here at my building. Thankfully the fire alarm isn’t going off or at least it is not at the moment. Anyone, Billie is just grateful for the attention I am giving him in the middle of the night.

I do not have much more to talk about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. If it wasn’t for you my reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Unable to Sleep & It’s Not the Cats Fault

Posted on by Gertie

Good Very Early Morning, World!!! It is seven minutes after two in the morning in my neck of the world in Seattle. Yes, it means it is 2:07 in the morning. I am unable to sleep at the moment it is starting to frustrate the hell out of me. It is frustrating the hell out of me because not only is my anxiety is acting up but by PTSD is acting up as well. In my opinion it is the anxiety and the PTSD that is keeping me up which is helping with the helping the insomnia.

On the plus note, the Seattle rain is quite soothing helping me calm down and be mindful of being in the present. In fact my cat is also helping me be in the present moment. I love the fact how the Seattle rain and my cat help me be in the current present moment.

And of course the other thing that is helping me is right now is is listening to the podcast on philosophy. Specifically, I am listening to “Philosophize This” and am feeling like I am getting a great education about philosophy. I know it seems weird but I feel like I am learning a lot and getting an informal education.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do what to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Awake Too Early on a Saturday Morning

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is five fifty nine in the morning and I woke up from a not so fun nightmare That is related to PTSD. My cat Billie Dean is laying on my lap as I type this really short blog post as I would like to go back to sleep since it is Saturday morning. As much as I wish I was still asleep I am grateful for my cat, Billie knowing what to do after waking up from a horrific nightmare.

I don’t have much to say in this particular blog post because I want to get back to sleep. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader do read my blog. If it wasn’t for the reader reading my blog, I wouldn’t be writing my blog. Again, from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Everyday Inspiration; Day 8: Reinvent the Letter Format

Posted on by Gertie

Dear Bullies and the Adults that protected the bullies,

I am writer this letter to those who bullied me in high school and the adults who protected them. Due to being bullied, I now have PTSD. Yes, I have PTSD from other trauma’s I had to endure throughout my childhood and adulthood. I just want you to know that you bullying me gave me PTSD and caused the depression I was dealing ended spiraling down hill to where I tried to take my own life.

Despite trying to take my own life, I have managed to because a successful adult. An adult that was able to become a strong person despite the hate I had to endure because of you and the adults that made excuses for you. I am a strong person despite you and the shit you did to me.

Sincerely,

Gertie

Lack of Sleep = Self Care Time with Billie the Kat plus Mindfulness & Meditation

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It’s before the butt crack of dawn in Seattle and I am wide awake for some reason. I suspect my cat, Billie Dean woke me before a major PTSD moment while asleep. He does this a lot and I am learning to wake myself up because of what my cat Billie does. So, I guess I am learning new skill due to my beloved cat, Billie. I love my cat so much and am grateful that he is in my life.

Now it is on to some self care time with mindfulness and meditation. First and fore most Billie is a great way to start mindfulness with after a PTSD moment. Then it is to do a ten minute app from the Calm App to help ground myself even more so I can focus on reading one of the magazines focused on mindfulness and meditation with some journaling . In fact a fellow Peer Specialist/Counseling informed me of the Calm App. I was hesitant at first and now I swear by it as it is so helpful for me. So, from the looks of it, I will be starting my day at the butt crack of dawn doing mindfulness and meditation by ways of my cat, the Calm App and some mindfulness and meditation magazines with journaling involved.

I don’t have much more to say except thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog especially at the butt crack of dawn. Or at least it is the butt crack of dawn here in Seattle. I know it is Tuesday and I hope everyone’s work week goes well. Please take a moment to do a mindfulness exercise even if it is only for thirty seconds. Peace Out, World!!!

The Waiting Game of Jury Duty

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am officially not working today as I have been summoned to jury duty. Jury duty will be done remotely due to Covid-19 restrictions even though in most cases restrictions are being lifted. I am guessing that they haven’t lifted jury duty being lifted is to keep everyone safe as there are different variants going around.

Despite the different variants going around and jury duty being done remotely, I hope I don’t get selected. I hope I don’t get selected. I hope I don’t get selected because that means I get an entire week off with pay. Don’t get me wrong I love job, I just some time off. I need some time off because my depression is acting up.

My depression is acting up for some unknown reasons. Even though I know work would help with my depression, I feel like having time off would be of some help. I think time off would be of help because I would be able spend time with my cat Billie Dean. Spending uninterrupted time with Billie is always a good thing especially when it comes to my depression.

Mindfulness and meditation also helps my depression. Doing a daily routine of mindfulness and meditation actually helps with my depression as well as my PTSD. Even though some days are more challenging than other days at least I know the mindfulness and meditation practices help.

I don’t have much more to say in this particular post except that I am currently playing the waiting game regarding jury duty. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope you all have a great work week ahead. Peace Out, World!!!

Oh How I Wish Mr. Sandman Would Visit

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am unable to sleep at the moment. I do not know why I am unable to sleep but I do have an idea. I suspect the reason why I can not sleep is due to the anxiety I am feeling after the trauma I experienced last week at the hands of a neighbor that lives on my floor. The anxiety is not a fun thing nor is it helpful in helping with sleep. Besides an increase of anxiety, I am also having an increase of PTSD symptoms. PTSD sucks shit.

On a plus note, Billie Dean, my cat is being quite helpful in regards to both the anxiety and PTSD. Having Billie as my Emotional Support Animal (ESA) has been quite helpful in my recovery. In fact when I had Lil Gertie as a cat before she crossed over the rainbow bridge, I realize how helpful she was as my Emotional Support Animal (ESA). If it wasn’t for the suggestion of my last therapist of getting a cat as an ESA, I wouldn’t have ever gotten Lil Gertie or Billie. After realizing how helpful Lil Gertie was for my recovery, I knew that having another cat as an ESA would be beneficial to me and my mental health recovery. Billie is doing an amazing job as my ESA, just like Lil Gertie did.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post so I am going to end my post. I want to thank you very much for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, I want to thank each one of you from the bottom of my hear for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great work week ahead of them. Peace Out, World!!!