Let the ____ Countdown Begin

Good Morning, World!!! I was looking at the calendar and realized that today is June 25th. That means that Christmas is six months away. It also means that a friend of mine will start posting on Facebook on what he calls “The Christmas Countdown” every single day till Christmas. As much as I really don’t like being reminded of how much time we have left till Christmas, I am glad that it brings my friend joy to post a daily countdown till Christmas on his Facebook page.

Now on to other topics. Lets discus, sleep and insomnia. I highly dislike having insomnia but at least I got some sleep last night. Not as much as I would have liked but at least I got some sleep.

Now on to my work situation. I am planning on quitting my current job because the schedule is not the best for me or my mental health. See my job is an on-call position and it is a twelve hour night shift so I can get called in two hours before the shift is suppose to start so I cant really prepare myself especially in regards to sleep. Yes, I know I can say no and I have but sadly I am the only on call and can’t be the one to keep taking people’s shifts if they can’t make it in for some reason. Sometimes I have had to cancel appointments with my therapist so I could get some sleep and cancelling a therapy appointments is never good for me. So, since I still qualify and get disability I can quit my job and work on my mental health as I apply to for other jobs.

Speaking of applying for other job a friend reached out to me via Facebook private messaging, that the mental health agency she works for has a part time peer position that she thinks would be “an awesome fit” for me. Right now the job posting is only for internal applicants but since my friends former supervisor is now the supervisor for the program needing the peer specialist, my friend was given permission for me to send in my cover letter and resume via my friends work email. So, I am going to be writing a cover letter and tweaking my resume and sending to my friend. Granted the location of the job isn’t ideal for me but I know I can manage getting to work if I get the job and it working in housing with formally homeless individuals which is what I am passionate about and have experience in. Not only do I have this friend who works at the agency as a peer but I have a former colleague who works at this same agency as the friend so I know I have two allies.

I better get going as I realize it is time for some food because I am hungry. It is time for me to get some breakfast. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a good Tuesday. Peace Out, World!!!

A Sort of Lazy Type of Day

Good Afternoon, World!!! It has been one of those days that I have not really done much. It has been one of those days that I have been lazy and sitting on my ass. I haven’t exactly been “lazy” because I have done some shit. I started working on my resignation letter for my current employer but haven’t completed it for not finding the right words to put into it. Besides working on my resignation letter, I have also put in a handful of resume’s for jobs that would better for me to work.

One thing I have also been doing is art work. I have been painting and am almost done with one. One that I hope to give to someone but not sure who yet. Another form of art I have also been doing coloring. I love to color and is a form of mindfulness for me.

Since coloring is a mindfulness action for me, I have also done other mindfulness techniques. Mindfulness is quite helpful for me especially for my anxiety and PTSD. I highly recommend doing it at least twice a day.

Before, I end this post, I would like remind you all about the advertisements on my blog. The advertisements are a way for me to earn some money. The only way I am able to earn that money is if you click on the ad. The only way I can collect the money is once the money is at $100. I only earn a cent or two per advertisement and hope that you my reader will do that for me so I can reach the one hundred dollars. I only need to reach two more dollars for it to reach one hundred dollars so I can collect the money. Please to this as a favor me. It would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Have a great day. Peace Out, World!!!

An Update on How Life is Going

Good Morning, World!!! It has been about a week and a half since my last post and I have been dealing with a great deal. First and fore most my mental health hasn’t been the best and sadly my job is not helping. In fact my job is not the best fit for me because it is an on call twelve hour night shift position and reeks havoc on my already horrific sleep schedule. Plus not knowing from day to day if I am going to need to drop every to go home and get some sort of sleep to be able be able to semi function at work and for me this is not helpful. Sadly, I am the only on call for this position so I get called in more times than I am able to work per my disability. I realize it is not my colleagues fault nor my direct supervisors fault as none of those individuals are the ones that have a direct say on who gets hired. And on that note, I am going to be putting in my two week notice at some point in the next couple of days due to the fact I know this job is not the best fit for me especially when it comes to sleep. Not only has my job been affecting my sleep, it has been affecting my physical health and this not a good thing. Worst of all it has been affecting my mental health disability which is not a good thing.

As far my job affecting many areas of my life I have decided I will be turning in my two weeks notice in the next few days. I am not really wanting to do so but since it is effecting my mental health, sleep, health and mental health, it is the best thing for me to do. Yes, I will be looking for a new job even if it is going back to working at a grocery for the time being.

Another thing that has happened is that the Beginning Comics Storytelling art class I have been taking has ended this past Friday (June 14th) which was really sad for me because I really enjoyed it. The best part of the class that everyone in the class got a copy of the comic book we put together. It has various types of comics in it as everyone had their own comic to put into the book and it is really cool. It is something I will cherish for the rest of my life. I am really going to miss my classmates as well.

I do not have much more to say so I am going to end this post. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading and/or following my blog as it is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope you all have an awesome day, Hell, I hope your week goes extremely well. Again, thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

A Workplace Post

Good Morning, World!!! Currently it is 4:30 in the morning in my corner of the world and I am at work. I am at work against my better judgement and that in itself is a long ass story. I just know that being on call at night for a twelve hour shift is reeking havoc on my mental health as well as my physical health. My therapist, psychiatric nurse practitioner, employment specialist (job/career coach) and doctor all agree that my current employer is not exactly the best fit for me and I have to agree with them. I just wish it wasn’t true but sadly it is. The people I work with are awesome however being on call for a twelve hour night shift is not good for me especially in the sleep department. If I had a more consistent schedule even if it is a night shift, I think it would be a better fit for me. When it comes to working nights I have my doubts to if it would be a good fit but it will have to be a more consistent schedule.

I don’t have much more to say or at least not at the moment without getting emotional about it. I hope to post later on today about what has been going on for me. I am just glad I have the support I do from my treatment teams. I hope everyone has a good day. Peace Out, World!!!!

A Busy Friday Ahead of Me

Happy Friday Morning, World!!! It is a not so pleasant Friday morning here in Seattle, weather wise. It is one of those days that you just want to stay inside and curl up with a good book while drinking a nice cup of hot chocolate. Sadly, I won’t be able this as I have a busy day ahead of me.

First and fore most I will be going go see my doctor for our regular appointment. My doctor and I have pretty regular appointments to help me stay out of the emergency room for both physical and mental health. It appears to be helping along with seeing my therapist and psychiatrist.

After I see my doctor, I have an appointment with my job coach. Actually, she is my employment specialist but most people understand that term so I just tell people she is my job coach. Today we will be working on finding jobs that are  better fit for me schedule wise.

Since it is Friday, I will be attending my art class. The class that is teaching how to tell stories through comics. The class is called “Beginning Comics Storytelling.” I love this class because it involves art, comics and writing which I enjoy doing all three. I will attending the class after seeing my job coach.

On my way home from the art class, I will be picking up some meds. As much as I highly dislike taking meds, I realize that my meds are necessary for me in regards to my recovery. Meds are are only part of the equation for my recovery.

I don’t have much more to say. I hope everyone has a great day ahead of them. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Peace Out, World!!!

 

HaPpY fRiDaY

Happy Friday, World!!! It has been a few days since I last blogged and I don’t even remember writing my last post. The dissociation is starting to become more frequent and the period of time that I am in a dissociative state is getting longer. This is quite concerning to both myself and my therapist.

In fact when I saw my therapist this past Tuesday (April 30th), we discussed the session we had on April 23rd as I was dissociated throughout that particular session and how an hour later I called apologizing for my appointment. I don’t remember calling much less going to my appointment with my therapist on April 23rd. My therapist was so concerned over that he was thinking about putting me on a 72 hour hold for an involuntarily hospitalization but decided to hold off on it to see what will happen. I am so grateful that he didn’t put me in the hospital involuntarily but it could still be an option for him if it continues especially if I end up self harming in a dissociative state. I am glad he was honest with me in regards to this as many therapist in the community mental health system don’t convey that information to their clients.

As concerning as my dissociation is at the moment, I have applied for a new job at another young adult shelter. I applied to another shelter due to the fact that it has my study hours than my current employer. The job I would be doing is supervising volunteers during their shift in the shelter. The best part of this is I still get to help young adult experiencing homelessness while mentoring volunteers as they to help the young adults.

Speaking of work, I love my current job for the most part. The only thing I really don’t like is that it is an on-call position at night and it is a twelve hour shift. I don’t mind it being at night or it being twelve hours but I never know when I am going to get called in and there might be more times were I have two days in a row of appointments and get called in like last night. I had appointments and classes all day yesterday as well as today and I worked last night. The only reason why I even said yes to last night (Thursday) is because my co-worker is in the ICU due to a blood clot and I had said no to three previous opportunities to work. So more or less I felt guilty and took the shift on guilt plus my co-worker being in the ICU isn’t exactly their fault.

Even though I was dead tired from working last night and being up since five in morning yesterday (Thursday) I still attended the art class this afternoon despite not getting any sleep. I think I mentioned that I am taking an art class called “Beginning Comics Storytelling.” It is a free class through a non-profit organization that helps low income individuals with being able to enjoy the arts. My therapist encouraged me to sign up for an art class and was able to get into the class I had chosen as my first choice. I am really enjoying the class thus far.

In fact the class really helped with some PTSD symptoms today. The PTSD symptoms that I experienced today was due to getting my first mammogram today and that was not only difficult but extremely painful. I am just glad I got it taken care of. In fact both my doctor and therapist checked with me in regards to the mammogram. Having so many medical appointments lately sucks but if it helps with current or potential health concerns I am all for it. I just don’t like having so many medical appointments.

I don’t have much more to say in this post. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend ahead of them. Have a wonderful rest of your weekend. Again, thank you so very much for reading my blog. Happy Friday and Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Check In

Good Afternoon, World!!! I realize it has been a week since I last blogged. I did attempt to post and have plenty of unfinished post to prove that I did attempt to do so. I honestly don’t have any excuses to why didn’t finish the post I started.

I guess I will make this post my weekly check in as I was planning to tell you what my week was like anyway. I guess, I will start with Monday. Monday, I went to my doctors appointment and had my annual wellness check done. It was not a fun experience like always because of my trauma history. Anyway, my doctor wants me to get an ultrasound done because my uterus is enlarged and no I am not pregnant. She did a pregnancy test to make sure I wasn’t even though I already knew due to not being sexually active for well over a year. So, I am waiting on my insurance to “approve” the ultrasound. I am also waiting for insurance to “approve” me for a mammogram even though I am now forty and “shouldn’t need approval” according to the paperwork I have from them but hey we all need to go through this stupid red tape from time to time.

Tuesday, I saw my psychiatric nurse practitioner for a med review and that went well. She increased my Ambien to ten milligrams. We briefly discussed how things were going and I was honest with her and informed her about my doctor’s appointment. She thanked me for updating her on my physical health issues.

I also saw my therapist on Tuesday and we ended up discussing a great deal about my annual wellness check up. We discussed this as it was quite triggering to me due to my severe and lengthy trauma history. We also discussed about needing an ultrasound and being “of age” for a mammogram and the emotions that go with all of it. He also brought up the fact that a program called “Path with Art” registration is open for spring classes as he knows I love to do art and be creative as well as trying to build structure to help with my recovery.

Thursday, I went and saw my denturist to get them realigned and adjusted. It went pretty well except my grandpa got upset with the denturist due to the fact the he asked the denturist why I was telling him (my grandpa) that I shouldn’t wear my dentures at night. The denturist explained at length why not. My grandpa was not all that happy with the answer because my grandpa has been wearing his dentures at night for years. My grandpa also brought up some concerns that he and I both had and the denturist put our minds at ease. I am grateful that my grandpa paid for my dentures.

I also saw my therapist for a second time in the same week on Thursday. We discussed shit that was going on in regards to PTSD and anxiety. We also once again discussed signing up for “Path with Art” which I did later in the evening.

In fact when I signed up for Path with Art, I found out I could only take one class which sucks but I understand as it is free and geared toward folks in certain programs/agencies. Part of the registration is to give them your top three choices. My first choice is how to tell a story through comics and I feel like this was (and is) the best first choice for me as I love comics. I hope I get into this particular class as I really want to learn more about comics.

Another thing that happened Thursday was my boss texted me to see if I could work today (Saturday) and I informed him I couldn’t. He said okay and wants to do a one on one supervision with me this coming Wednesday due to not taking shift the last couple of months which I understand why he wants to do it. I am a little fearful that I will be let go but I don’t think that is the case as my employer appears to be cool from my experience and my supervisor did say we were going to talk about availability for his on calls. Plus, if I am to be let go even though it doesn’t seem all that likely at the moment, I will accept the fact about being let go due to the fact of not taking any shifts so in essence, I will be taking responsibility for my own actions.  I would be lying if I said I wasn’t worried about the potential of being fired but it would be my own fault due to not taking any shifts when I was asked if I could do them. But like I said I don’t think that will be the case as I think they will just give me some kind of warning if it continues and like my supervisor said we will be discussing availability.  Also if it was something more official like being terminated, I am sure he would have sent me an email instead of a text.

I honestly don’t have much more to say except that the weather in Seattle currently sucks. It is windy and rainy outside. It is the type of day to stay inside and read type of day. Or maybe even a binge watch type of day. I most likely will be reading. I really love to read.

I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. If it wasn’t for you my reader, I don’t think I would continue to blog even though I do enjoy blogging. Again, thank you for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great day. Peace Out, World!!!

Just Read if You Want to Know What I Said

Good Evening, World!!! I have a lot to catch you up on as a great deal has happened since I last posted. Let’s start with the employment part of my life or should I say the job seeker part of my life at the moment. Yes, I am still employed as an on call shelter counselor however it is not a job I want to be at for forever and a day. That means I have been sending out my resume’s to various places especially those who have Peer Specialist/Counselor jobs. I got call this past Tuesday from the HR person from the agency I am client of asking if I wanted an interview for one of the peer positions and I stated yes. So, I had an interview yesterday (Wednesday) and I don’t think it went all that well. I am not holding my breath on getting this position as I am a client of the agency that gave me the interview. I think it is best for all involved that I have low expectations in getting this job due to not being disappointed if I don’t get it. My employment specialist informed me that from her understanding with talking with one of the interviewers, I did a really good job at the interview and am on the bottom of the short list only because I am a client and I informed my employment specialist that I am okay with that as I understand the ethical conflict of the situation.

Other than the interview yesterday (Wednesday) and working Sunday night into Monday morning, I have not done much of anything but go see my therapist and employment specialist this past Tuesday. Mainly because it has been snowing outside and today was the first day the roads and sidewalks were decent enough to do anything. Sadly, the weather is not going to get better like it was today. Tomorrow (Friday), it suppose to start snowing again in the Seattle area. A good portion of folks that live in the Seattle area don’t do well in the snow, myself include. I really am not a big fan of the cold and snow. But I am one to say if it is cold enough to snow it might as well as snow.

Due to the snow storm that is suppose to happen this weekend I plan on not doing much of anything but hanging out at home with my cat, Lil Gertie. I figure this will be the perfect time to settle in and start on the workbook “The Artist Way” that I was telling you about a few post ago. In fact I am still assuming that it has you do art type things due to the title but I have read a little bit of the introduction and part of it requires you to do some journaling everyday which could be challenging to do daily but I am to doing it. Most of me is looking forward to it however some of me is sort of fearful of it as I am afraid of the things it will bring up. Whatever it brings up, I have a good support system in place to help me as well as my cat, Lil Gertie. In fact I am looking forward to hibernating here at home in the snowy cold weather with my cat, Lil Gertie. I don’t think there is a better way of spending wintry weather than spending it with my cat, Lil Gertie.

I do not have much more to say in this post. I do hope to post some time later tonight or tomorrow. I will keep you updated on the snowy weather here in Seattle. Thank you very much for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a goodnight. Peace Out, World!!!

A Workplace Post

Good Morning, World!!! As I type this post, I am at work. I am bored half out of my mind and freezing but at least I have someone to keep me company as the shelter guest sleep. I am an On-Call Shelter Counselor at a young adult shelter here in Seattle and love my job for the most part. I really don’t like being on-call but hey, its a job. As I mentioned earlier I have someone to keep me company as I am training someone. I didn’t know I was training this person till I arrived to work. I am just shocked that my supervisor is having me train the new person as I am only an on-call person and don’t work very often. In fact the last time I took a shift was back in late November. The new person appears to be cool and has connected well with some of the shelter guest which is awesome.

In all honesty I would rather be at home in my own bed asleep at the moment. I am not tired at this moment in time as I slept really well during the day on Sunday as I knew I had to work a shift. I just don’t like when my sleep schedule gets all fucked up as I already have trouble sleeping.

Another reason why I was at home is primarily because of the weather. It is currently snowing in Seattle. I highly dislike the snow. I am not sure why but I have a few idea but won’t share them with you as I do not want to bore you. I not only don’t like the snow, I don’t like the cold weather. It is suppose to get windy and heavier snow later today (Monday) which sucks shit.

As much as I don’t like the news about windy, snowy weather for today (Monday), I am looking forward to hopefully hearing back from my employment specialist and/or the hiring manager of the peer job I applied for to see if I get an interview in the next week or two. I say this because I want and need a job that has a more stable schedule. Having a job that is only on-call sucks but I am grateful to have a job.

I do not have much more to say in this particular post. I hope to post later on today when I am off work and well rested after working a twelve hour shift at night. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. Peace Out, World!!!

Just A Boring Post About Employment

Good Evening, World!!! I am getting myself psyched to go into work tomorrow night (Sunday) as I really don’t want to go into work. I could have said no but the last few times I was asked to go into work I said no. So, in essence I felt obligated to go into work tomorrow. So that means tonight I will be pulling an all-niter so I can sleep during the day tomorrow (Sunday).  Staying up all night tonight and tomorrow will reek havoc on my already bad sleep patterns due to insomnia.

Due to the unpredictable schedule, I am applying for new jobs. In fact my employment specialist sent my resume to one of the supportive housing programs that the agency I am a client of oversee’s. Yes, I can work for the agency I am client of. I am personally hesitant to do so but if it gets me from being in an on call position then I will take the job. I was informed that the supervisor of the program my resume was sent will get back to me no later than Tuesday to schedule an interview with me. I really want this job but I won’t be hurt if I don’t get it as I am sure the person they hire will be the best fit for the job. I am also looking into applying for other peer jobs but it is difficult to find part time peer jobs at the moment.

I don’t have much more to say. I am pretty sure I will blog later as I am trying to stay up all night so I can sleep during the day tomorrow (Sunday) as I work tomorrow night. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. Peace Out, World!!