Monthly Archives: October 2017

Everyday Inspiration; Day 8: Reinvent the Letter Format

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! Today’s assignment for Finding Everyday Inspiration, is to write your blog in a letter format. I’m having difficulty do this because it appears to me that the only people I can think of righting a letter or letters to, can and will bring up some major pain to me.

The first person I thought of righting a letter to as part of this assignment was the person who abused me as child. The person in this particular case would be my brothers dad. It brings up a great deal of pain and anger. Both emotion’s that I really don’t want to deal with at the moment.

The second person I thought of writing a letter to as a part of todays assignment was to Diana. The therapist that departed the agency I am client of unexpectedly due to a cancer diagnosis. This brings me much pain and grief as I was unable to say goodbye to her. A goodbye as in a final session however this was unable to happen because she needs to focus on getting better. I am unsure how she is doing or if she is even still alive. I’m still grieving over the loss of her as my therapist especially it was all of sudden and quite unexpected.

The third letter I thought about writing was to the two sets of twins I lost in two miscarriages. As expected that brought up a great deal of sadness and pain. Pain and sadness I really don’t want to acknowledge. As any parent or expectant parent will tell you is that the greatest pain a parent can endure is loosing a child. I can say this without a shadow of a doubt because I’ve endured a great deal of pain in my life due to various traumas and the greatest pain I’ve endured is loosing my children via miscarriage. Loosing a child is quite difficult.

In fact WordPress suggested to write a letter to someone about a joyous time. I attempted to do so when I started this post by writing a letter to Diana. Unfortunately, it was bringing up a great deal of grief and sadness for me as Diana has helped me with a great deal in my recovery.

It is my hope that maybe someday, I can do this assignment when it doesn’t seem so overwhelming for me at this moment in time. Sometimes it difficult to acknowledge to others when things can be hard and/or overwhelming for me. So thanks for being  understanding.

As, I end this blog post, I want to thanks you for reading. I appreciate you for your readership. I hope everyone has a great day. Peace Out, World!!!

Everyday Inspiration; Day 7: Let Social Media Inspire You

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Today’s assignment for Finding Everyday Inspiration is to let social media inspire me. WordPress gave about a handful of tweets to choose from, so I decided to choose the one above. I fear that what I might say about the tweet above, may came across as and if it does, that’s not my attention.

First and fore most, I’m not sure why the person who tweeted the above tweet deleted tweet to make a decision that should never get a tattoo. Maybe its because of moral reasons. Maybe she has seen tattoos that weren’t the wisest of choices or tattoos that didn’t come out correctly and whatever the reason why she chooses to not get at tattoo, I find her comment judgmental even if that wasn’t her intention of doing so.

I know for me, I made the decision to get tattoo’s. I only have two tattoo’s and have thought long hard on what tattoo’s I want to have. They are something that will be on your body till the day you die. My tattoo’s have meaning for me and both are related to my recovery.

My first tattoo is a semicolon. My semicolon tattoo is a reminder have far I come in my recovery. It’s also a reminder to me that when things get tough, that my story isn’t over yet. It reminds me to carry on with my life no matter how difficult life is at times.

The second tattoo is that of a butterfly. I’m wanted a butterfly tattoo since I was sixteen years old and didn’t find the right butterfly for me till I was thirty-seven and got it as birthday present to for myself. I got the butterfly tattoo as it is a symbol of hope for me. It represents hope for me because the butterfly has to go through some difficult times of being in a dark and lonely place to become a butterfly. For me a butterfly represent the hope I have as well as all the difficult work I have put into my recovery.

Yes, I am planning on getting more tattoo’s Its matter of what exactly I want. I do want the word Hope tattooed on my right wrist. It’s just I have to make sure I find the right font and design I want.

I want to thank you for reading my blog. I greatly appreciate you my reader and/or follower. I hope to blog later this evening about the town hall I will be attending today. It’s the town hall I discussed in my last post Have a great Hump Day (Wednesday). Just think that day is half over with. Go out and make someone’s day bye giving someone a smile and simple hello. It could save a person’s life!!! Peace Out, World!!!

Looking Forward to Tomorrow

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Good Evening, World!!! Tomorrow, I am going to be attending a town hall regarding the Office of Consumer Partnerships and advocacy regarding peer support. It’s being put on in city where the state capital is which is about an hour and a half car ride from where I live. The Division of Behavioral Health and Recovery (DBHR) and The Department of Social and Human Service’s (DSHS) want to hear from the peer community. They want to hear what we have to say and how to better advocate for us.

I’m looking forward to it for many reasons. One reason I’m looking forward to it is that I get to spend time with people I consider my “tribe” or part of my community. Another reason I am looking forward to it is being able know what the state is doing to better serve the community I’ve been a part of most of my life. Hell, I’ve been a consumer of the mental health system since I was nine. I’ve been volunteering in the mental health field for the last five year. I also worked in the mental health field for two and a half years and plan on working in the field again. So, I guess what I am saying is that I am looking forward to the town hall because of the many aspects of mental health has had on my life and how I can better advocate for others as well as myself.

I hope to talk more about the town hall tomorrow evening when I get home from it. I can’t make any promise’s as I am not sure how drained I will be afterwards. I want to thank you for reading. Have a good evening. Peace Out!!!

Everyday Inspiration; Day 6: The Space to Write

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Good Morning, World!!! Today’s “assignment” is to write about the space I write in. In all honesty, I think it the space I write in is dependent on a variety of factors. Such factors include what I am writing about, the head space I am in and the location I am at. I do however write (when it comes to my blog) on my laptop. When it comes to blogging I am usually on my laptop with a couple of exceptions yet, I’m not going to get into that right now.

For the most part, I blog from my living room or Junior’s living room while sitting on the couch. On some occasions from my bedroom or Junior’s bedroom while in bed.  If I’m blogging from the bedroom I’m usually not in a good head space.

My ideal place to write anything is by a body of water. Writing by water there usually isn’t Wi-Fi so I usually don’t blog around water. I am lucky enough that I live in a city located by a lot of water and am able to get Wi-Fi a good portion of the time. I write a lot of my poetry when I am near water or in nature. I tend to be more creative when I’m in nature and for few days after being in nature.

Now that I’ve informed you about my writing habits as part of my “assignment” another part of it is to ask you my reader something. That something is for another assignment later on in “Finding Your Everyday Inspiration” course. The question is what would you my reader like for me to write about? Would you like more educational stuff regarding mental health diagnosis and/or treatments? Would you like to hear from people who know me well and how they deal with me when I am doing well and not so well? What subject manner would you like me to discuss? Please let me know via my contact page or in the comment section of my blog.

Again thank you for reading. I greatly appreciate you reading my blog. Have a great Tuesday, everyone!!! Peace Out, World!!!

Everyday Inspiration; Day 5: Hook ‘Em With A Quote’

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Image result for maya angelou quotes

The above quote is from an extremely inspiring and strong woman; Maya Angelou. The quote for me is not necessarily about physical beauty or physical strength but the beauty and strength within.

The change the butterfly goes through to become a butterfly can be a metaphor for a person in recovery.  A person in recovery must admit that the change they made to be in recovery is what has helped them achieve the inner beauty they now have. We delight in what we have now because of our recovery yet fail to admit the hard and difficult changes we achieved to get we are now at. Or at least that is the case for me.

I think this is why this particular quote from Maya Angelou was the quote that stuck out to me the most. Despite having recent struggles with the symptoms of my mental health diagnosis, I need to admit the changes I have made in my life to have the success’s I have had. Granted, I may not feel successful right now or even when I am doing well, I went through a great deal of change to be able to accomplish the achievements I have had in my life.

The challenge for me now is to believe this. Its going to be a challenge however I know I have people in my life to help me with it. Its a challenge I am willing to take on.

Please take the time to enjoy the inner beauty a person has as you don’t know all the hard work it has taken the person to get where they are at in this point in time. I hope everyone has a good Monday. Have a good work week. Peace Out!!!

Everyday Inspiration; Day 4: A Story In A Single Image

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The above image invokes some very pleasant childhood memories. A good portion of my childhood was spent playing in and around water. In fact, I was either at the beach surfing or in the woods camping near a lake a good portion of summer vacations as a child.

Not only does the above image invoke pleasant childhood memories it invokes positive memories for me as an adult as well. I’ve spent my entire life near water. I have trouble comprehending not living near water due to the fact I’ve lived no more than thirty minutes away from it via public transportation.

In fact water is the one thing that gives me a sense of peace. A sense of peace that I rarely have. Peace that I usually only get when I am near water. Even in the midst of the most severe symptoms of my mental health diagnosis acting up, water can calm those symptoms.

I realize that what a wrote about the above image isn’t exactly a “story” but I just wanted to share with you the power water has on me. The power of giving me peace. Water is my happy place.

Now that I’ve share with you that my happy place is water and the pleasant childhood memories that water brings up, I’m going wish you a good Sunday. I hope that everyone has a good day. Peace Out!!!

Weekly Check-In

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Good Evening, World!!! It’s that time of the week where I check-in with you, my reader. As some of you may know, this past week has been dragging on for me. As you may not know its been a week of high anxiety for me. Anxiety that is most likely due to the recent trauma I experienced.

Anxiety that was extremely high at times this week yet lessened by the things I did. One of the things I did throughout this week was art. I did a lot of art. The type of art I did this week was coloring and collaging. In fact I made an effort to do some art everyday this week as I missed attending Art Group on Monday. I really dislike when I miss any group and I feel like I need to figure out a way to attend Art Group every week or at least on a more regular basis. This is something to discuss with my therapist about.

Speaking of my therapist, I saw her this past week. Like I mentioned in an earlier post, I was full of anxiety in during my session with my therapist. Anxiety that was (and is) trauma related. In fact the trauma is what was being discussed or at least how the recent trauma is affecting my life. Therapy is never easy and am grateful to be able to be in it as it’s helped me become a better person. A person in recovery.

A person in recovery that is now not a hundred percent afraid to discuss sexuality. In fact I am now attending a Healthy Sexuality Group. My case manager is one of the co-facilitators of the group. As difficult as the topic of sexuality is for me because of my trauma history, I am glad I’m in place where I able to discuss it. Not just in group but with my partner and close friends.

Since we are on the topic of groups, I also attended Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) group. As usual attending DBT group was quite helpful. It was helpful as it normally is. Yes, practicing the skills are difficult yet most of them have become second nature to me. Fortunately yet unfortunately, I have extra homework to do for DBT group. I have extra homework regarding self-validation because of the difficulties I have with validating myself. My therapist is in agreement with this. I may not want to do the homework for DBT group and/or my therapist regarding the self-validation, I realize it’s going to be helpful for me in in the long run.

Another thing that will be helpful for me is something regarding my blog. That is to start getting back in the regular habit blogging. Getting back in the habit of blogging will help me get back the structure I desperately need at the moment. The other reason why I’m attempting to get back in the habit of blogging is to keep you the reader interested in following my blog. One way of getting back in habit of blogging is something I started this week. That thing is I started a course that WordPress puts on for free. The course I am taking is Finding Everyday Inspiration. In fact my last three post were part of the course I am taking.

Before I end this post, I want to update you on my friend who was a victim in the Las Vegas shooting. They are still in critical condition but slowly improving. They are now breathing on their on. Something that myself and many others are thrilled about.

As, I end this post I want to thank you for reading my blog. I hope you all have a wonderful evening and a good rest of your weekend. Peace Out!!!

 

Everyday Inspiration; Day 3: One-Word Inspiration; Choice(s)

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Today’s “assignment” for the Finding Everyday Inspiration course through WordPress is one word inspiration. I was given a choice of six words. One of the words I had to choose from is the word, choice. I chose the word choice because it was one of two words that stuck out to me from the six I had to choose from. Since, I’ve written a little about the other word that stuck out to me, I thought I would write about the word choice.

In fact if I really look at it, no matter what word, I would have chosen, I would ultimately be writing about the choice even the word was never brought up in the post. Life is nothing but series of choices. The choices we make throughout our lives has an effect on other peoples lives. Just like the choices of others have an effect on our lives. Whether we want to admit it or not, what we choose will not just effect you but effect others.

When I look back on my life, I realize the choice’s I’ve made may not have been the wisest of choices, I learned from them. I learned from the bad choice’s in my life to better myself. Yes, some of the not so good choices I made were because the symptoms of the mental health diagnosis were acting up, I still had (and have) the ability to make the choice to do what is right. The choices I’ve made even when I’m not doing well have shaped who I am today.

It shaped me into being a person who made a choice to be in recovery. A choice that nobody could make for me. A choice that was and is the best decision of my life.

Not all choices we make are bad. Some are good. Whether or not we our decisions are good or bad, the one thing I would like you to come out of this post is that the choices we make, just doesn’t effect us, it also effects others.

On that note, I will end this post. As, I end this blogs post I hope that you the reader of this blog that every choice you make, whether you like it or not will effect others. I hope everyone has a good weekend. Peace Out!!!

Everyday Inspiration; Day 2: Write A List; Things I’ve Learned (& Why)

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  1. To play a musical instrument. – When I was in sixth grade I started playing the flute because my best friend started playing it. I stuck with it and played through to my senior year of high school. I was in the junior high and high school band. Being in band is what kept me from dropping out of high school. In fact I am teaching myself to play the harmonica and the recorder.
  2. To have sense of humor. – I learned to have a sense of humor about myself and the world as whole from my dad. My dad told me that the world can be a harsh place and without a sense of humor life would be a lot more difficult. Having a sense of humor has helped make life a lot easier to deal with.
  3. Recovery. – I learned about being in recovery from a number of individuals in my life. One person who gets more credit teaching me about recovery than others is my dad. If it wasn’t for his example of what recovery looks like, I don’t think I would have listened to or looked to the other individuals about recovery. If it wasn’t for being in recovery, I would be completely miserable. Being miserable twenty four hours a day, seven days a week isn’t a way to live life. A part of recovery I learned is that it is non-linear.
  4. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) Skills. – I learned DBT skills as part of my recovery process. I personally think DBT is what saved my life. Without learning these skills, I wouldn’t be in active recovery today.
  5. Meditation & Mindfulness. – I learned about meditation and mindfulness through my friends and DBT. I learned about them to help me be more aware of the present. Being aware of the present is what helps me be more effective in everyday life.
  6. Hope. – Hope is something I learned about throughout my life. In fact the above mentioned items in this list are not only some of the ways I learned about hope but things that help me continue to have hope. Without hope I wouldn’t be in recovery.

I want to thank you for reading. I hope you learned a little something more about me. As you can tell my recovery is highly important to me. Have good day. Happy Friday!!! Peace Out!!!

Everyday Inspiration; Day 1: I Write Because…

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I write because it can be of help to others. Or at least that is why I write in regards to my blog. In fact, I started my blog for two reasons.

One those reasons are to help educate those who don’t have mental health diagnosis that people such as myself who do have one can live a full and productive life as well be productive members of society. I do this in hopes to lessen the stigma that goes with having a mental health diagnosis. Many folks out there in our world don’t realize that those of us who struggle with a mental health condition are fully functioning people.

The second reason I write in regards to my blog is to give hope to others who may be struggling with the symptoms of their mental health condition. Hope is key to a persons recovery for any illness especially in regards to dealing with a mental illness. Having a mental health diagnosis and discussing it is difficult to do because of the stigma that goes with it. I’m writing to give hope to others.

A third and very unexpected reason why I write in regards to my blog is that I have found it quite helpful for my own mental health. Surprisingly, it’s helped with my recovery. Granted my recovery is a little shaky as of lately but blogging has been helpful.

When I’m not writing in regards to my blog, I write to be creative. In fact I love to write poetry and short stories. I’ve shared a few of my poems when I’ve taken the Intro to Poetry course that WordPress offers. After, this course (Everyday Inspiration) I plan on retaking the Intro to Poetry course once again. Being creative through writing is quite helpful to many individuals.

Thank you for reading. I hope everyone has a great day. Peace Out!!!