Tag Archives: Anxiety

Haven’t Been Back to Sleep Yet

Posted on by Gertie

Good Sleepy Saturday Morning to you from Seattle. I still haven’t been to sleep since I was rudely awaken by three neighbors in the hallway screaming at each other. Two went to jail for domestic violence while the third when to the hospital tot get psych evolution.

Currently it is peaceful on my floor and Billie my cat is trying to help me write this blog. I think he is trying to tell me we both need more sleep which I agree with his assessment. I love Billie so much how he helps with my anxiety.

As some of you know I have advertisements on my blog. Every time someone clicks on an advertisement, I get a paid few cent per add buy I don’t get paid the money till I hit at least the on hundred mark and then I get the money. I am hoping that you the read look at least one or two adds every time you are reading my blog. I could really use the money now that I’ve been laid off. Every click to an advertisement helps. I’m usually not the one to ask for money and I have June and Julys rent paid for all reading with my apartment management. My bills are covered through July as well. The one thing I will be lacking is food as you can only get certain about of food from the food banks and I am not quite qualified for food stamps. I will try get unemployment and am worried how I can pay for my meds but will try to get stated aid for medical through the state. The is why I am asking that you click on the advertisements to help, pretty please the a cherry on top.

It is now eight o one o’clock in the morning I am I am going to try to get some sleep. Thank you for reading blog. It means a log to me. Peace Our, World!!!

Ugh!!! Not Another Fight on My Floor

Posted on by Gertie

It’s barely after three thirty in the morning here in Seattle. I got woken up by neighbors arguing with each other before it became and actual violent fight. I am not happy that I got woken up by neighbors who don’t give a shit about their neighbors who have plans the next day.

Thankfully the Seattle cops came and broke up the fight. In fact both ended up going to the King County Jail. Its about time that SPD did their job. Since the fight caused me a great deal of anxiety, Billie did his job and helped reduced the anxiety .

Not more to discuss so I hope you have great night sleep. Peace Out, World!!!

A Range of Emotions

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! As I write this particular blog, I am writing in between clients and writing note about clients. I guess it’s one of the luxuries of being able to work from home part of the time. I really love my job but today has been a tough one and I am not sure why. Be back later, I have a client to see.

Okay, now I’m back after two sessions with clients and writing their notes so their insurance can pay my employer. I love my job most days and normally don’t feel drained but I’m feeling drained because nobody really knows if my employer is actually closing or not.

I blame the board of directors on this and am happy that the county is wanting to keep us open but it appears like nothing is being done. We have no leadership left. We do have one HR person left and two of the four remaining supervisors are leaving in May.

I have a range of emotions because I love my job and am grateful for it. I’m also angry, depressed and full of anxiety of what is going on. The county is giving us some hope but not much.

Working from home is helping me today because I have Billie to help me with my emotions. I love my cat so much. I wish could talk more about Billie but I have another session with a client and then a meeting. So, thank you so much for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Semi-Woe Is Me Moment

Posted on by Gertie

Hello World!!!I went to my volunteer job at PAWS Cat City like I do every Sunday. I had me a great time. I love spending time with kitties waiting for their furrever home.

On that note I got to my floor where one of my neighbors started raising her voice at me. I ignored her and passed by her so I can get to my apartment. Of course I’m greeted my by cat who escaped into the hall way and this neighbor who already yelled at me, started screaming on my cat and myself. I’ve never seen cat so scared and run back to the apartment. It took all my might to not interact with this neighbor.

I spent some time with Billie Dean to calm him down which calmed me down. Which was helpful for the both of us. I went down to the community room to get a soda not know this neighbor has going to be down there doing a puzzle. She screamed at me an called me names that I won’t mention here because I found them offence of and don’t want to offend anyone else. I got my soda and listened to her and I left the community room crying. I did not say anything to her except “I hope you have a good Sunday” and left the community room and came to my apartment. Spent some more time with a Billie Dean my cat which helped.

I then reached out to a neighbor who is a friend so I could get a good reality check and a hug. We talked about twenty minutes and I felt better. The conversation I had with the neighbor I am friends with pointed out that I wouldn’t have taken all this so hard due to my work situation and being laid off with an unknown lay of date. He said “I would be having a woe is me moment if I were in your situation. The only difference is that yours is a semi woe is me moment which is goo for you.” He also suggested the I try to be friends with some of my neighbors which is true.

I do not have much more to say. I just want to say thank you for reading my blog. If it wasn’t for you reading my blog, I would not be writing it. So, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Not the not So Typical Weekly Plans Blog

Posted on by Gertie

This weeks, weekly plans are not going go as planned. I didn’t get much sleep because I ended up in the hospital because my depression and anxiety were acting up. Thankfully, I wasn’t in a suicide mode or self harm mode.

After a few hours of sleep I am going to my grandpa’s house to do laundry. So sleep and laundry are on the list for today.

Of course I will be working Monday through Friday this week. It will not be an easy week but at least my friends, family and colleagues are being supportive.

Just About Rumblings

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!!! I went to work today via going to the office tomorrow. I love going into the office as it gives me more proactive ways to do to do some work. I love my job and am sad that my employer is going under which means everyone is getting laid off. I am concerned about my clients that my employer serves. The need the help they need in the queer community .

On that note I had to go to the hospital due to having an injury. I have some major bruisers and a broken finger. My boss says I could work from home due to my injury. I love my job and that y supervisor isn’t a micromanager. My servicer is awesome.

I am happy to be home with my cat and he is helping me with the grief of being laid off from my employer. I love the fact that he comforts me with the grief with the laid offs.

I do not have much ore to say about this particular blog post. I want to thank you for reading my blog.

Overall A Good Vacation Despite the Unknown of my Lay Off Date

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! Despite finding out that my employer will be going our of business a week before my vacations and six days before my 43rd birthday, I had a good vacation and birthday. Granted it could have been better, I didn’t let it get me down.

I did not let it get it down because I had the love and support from friends, family, colleagues and of course my cat Billie Dean. I enjoyed my time in Bremerton and knowing that I have people and cats on my side supporting me. I am grateful that I had a vacation. I think I needed it so I can be the be I can be for my clients and my colleagues.

I don’t have much more to say in thing particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It it greatly appreciated that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

A Cat Sleeping in Human’s Lap While Human is Having a Sleepless in Seattle Type of Night

Posted on by Gertie

Good Very Early, Morning, World!!! It is 5:34 in the morning Seattle time and have not gotten much sleep. I think part of the reason I am sleepless in Seattle is because I am worried about the clients my employer serves. Sadly, the board of directors made the decision to close the doors of the longest running Queer mental health agency in the United States. Someone told me the world but I am not sure about that the world but I do know it’s the longest Queer mental agency in the United States.

I may not have liked finding out six days before my birthday that I will be getting a lay off without an unknown date especially since the following week; I am on my vacation. As depressing and anxiety provoking all this is, I am having an okay vacation. I was able to spend a couple of days in Bremerton an am now back home in Seattle.

It was nice getting out of town for a few days which helped a little bit with the depression and the anxiety. Now if I can get some sleep as the depression and anxiety regarding the lay offs for my job isn’t helping any of the sleep.

On the plus side of all this my cat hasn’t left my side since my grandpa watched Billie for me at my grandpa’s place. I think we are both glad to be home. I love my cat Billie Dean so very much and I know Billie loves me very much.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank for reading by blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Good night and Good early morning world!!! Peace Our, World!!!

Wishing the Depression Would Disappear

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! It is late Friday evening, In fact it is almost on eleven at night on Friday. I went to work today and that went fine and dandy despite the depression and anxiety would go away. I love my job and am grateful for it. I just wish Depression and Anxiety wouldn’t get in the way of my job but at least I am still able to work and do an okay job at it. Of course when I got home from work Billie Dean greeted me at the door which helped with the depression and anxiety

When I got home I spent time doing some art while listening to music. Specifically the type of art work I was doing was coloring. I was doing some coloring of some morbid coloring books while listening to YungBlud and Nirvana. I love doing art while listening to music. As I was coloring and listening to music, Billie of course was trying to “help” me do my art work by coloring.

I do not have much more to discuss in this particular blog post. I just want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. So, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope to start back to Everyday Inspiration course tomorrow (Saturday). I really want to finish the course. Again, thank from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World.

A Brief Post About Nothing

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I didn’t post my Everyday Inspiration today because, my depression and anxiety were so bad that I needed to call out to work due being sick. Well maybe really depressed and anxiety ridden. I’ve been sleeping most of the day. I feel bad because, I was ignored my poor Billie Dean all night as well as today due to sleeping the most of the day. I hope you all can forgive me. I will be back to do my Everyday Inspiration course on tomorrow (Friday ) and/or Saturday. Thank you for understanding.

I do not have much more to discuss in his particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. I am greatly appreciated that you the reader, read the blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!