Middle of the Night Thoughts & Ideas

Hello, World!!! It is the middle of the night and I am unable to sleep once again. I wish I knew why I am unable to sleep but I realize that trying to figure it out will just frustrate the hell out of me.

As I sit here at my laptop, sleepless in Seattle once again, I am trying to figure out ways to blog on the regular basis. One thing that came to mind is to do free courses that WordPress does. I have decided to do their Writing: Intro to Poetry course as well as their Photography: Developing Your Eye 1 course. I figure if I do the courses it will help me get more in a groove of blogging on the regular basis. I know some people set up schedules and I have tried that which is something I will try again with the help of the WordPress courses I take.

I have officially signed up for the courses but I personally most likely won’t start them for a couple days. I am planning to do this so I can have time to work on the assignments. Of course when I work on the assignments, I hope to include my cat, Billie Dean in a couple of them. Most people love cats and hope including my cat, Billie will have new people reading my blog. I also want to incorporate Billie because, I love Billie and he is apart of my family.

I have also thought about other ways to blog on the regular basis. One of those ways is to discuss topics, you my reader are interested in. So, I guess I am asking you to do is comment on this post on what you would like me to discuss. I realize that my request appears to be a wee bit odd but I hope you will comment on this post on what you would like me to discuss.

I do not have much more to discuss. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things for reading my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog even though it is not interesting most of the time. I hope everyone has a great Tuesday ahead of them. Yes, I realize Alaska and Hawaii are still in Monday as I write this and hope they too have a great Tuesday ahead of them. Peace Out, World!!!

The Words of A Child

Good Evening, World!!! So far today has been a quiet stay at home day. It has been a day that I have not done much but binge watch television with my cat, Billie Dean on my lap. The Seattle weather has been quite helpful in that as it has been the typical Seattle gloom.

I have spent most of the day with my cat Billie Dean in my lap. Billie sat in my lap as I watched The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross. I really enjoy this show for several reasons and am thrilled that Billie spent most of that time in lap as I watched it.

After watching The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross as Billie was curled up in my lap I decided to get on social media. Specifically, I went on Facebook as it is the the only social media account I have under my given name. (I do have a Facebook account as well as a Twitter account under my pen name of Gertie. You can find me under Gerties Journey on both social media accounts.) Anyway, when I was on Facebook under my given name, a friend of mine in the peer counseling community posted a quote from one of her children came up of a quote that I feel is great. My friends, child’s name is Avenlea Margaret. (Yes, I was given permission to mention my friends daughter’s name on here by both my friend and their daughter.) Avenlea Margaret is a creative person which doesn’t surprise me that she came up with the quote she did.

Avenlea Margaret’s quote is: “There’s no such thing as ugly. There’s just different ways to be beautiful.” I personally love this quote as it is an honest quote that comes from the mouth of an innocent child. A child that sees there are different ways to be beautiful and different ways to see beauty. Avenlea Margaret is wise beyond her years and hope to read more quotes she says on her parents Facebook account. It is my hope with posting this that you are able to see that there is only beauty in this world and it just looks differently just like Avenlea stated.

I do not have much more to say. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great rest of you Monday. Peace Out, World!!!

A Memorial Day Post

Good Afternoon, World!!! The weather here in Seattle is a bit gloomy which is fitting for it being Memorial Day. Today is Memorial Day here in the United States and is a holiday that we remember our fallen troops. The one thing I do not understand is many people here in the United States don’t really understand what Memorial Day is all about and that saddens the hell out of me. I just wish I could do what I normally do on Memorial Day; put flags on the grave of fallen soldiers but sadly I cannot due to Covid-19.

Since it is a gloomy day here in Seattle, I will be spending it at home with my cat, Billie Dean. If Billie has his way, he will be spending Memorial Day in my lap and he will be getting his way in this aspect as he and I both need it today. I think we both need him to be in my lap today as it comforting to the both of us.

While Billie is in my lap sleeping, I will be watching one of my favorite childhood shows; The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross. I do not know why but for some reason this show puts me at ease and calms me down. Maybe it is how he speaks or how he paints or maybe a combination of both. I also think the reason why I like the show so much it that Bob Ross makes the painting look so easy. I just love watching the Joy of Painting with Bob Ross.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone enjoys your Monday. Please do not forget to take moment of silence for those who lost their lives fighting for our freedom. Peace Out, World!!!

A Midnight Post

Hello, World!!! It is midnight in my corner of the world. I am staying up all night due to the fact I have to sleep all day. I need to sleep all day on Saturday’s because I work a twelve and a half hour night shift. I really enjoy my current job with the exception of it being a night shift. I am not a big fan of it being twelve and a half hours but I think if it was a day time shift I would be more accepting of a twelve and a half hour shift. My colleagues are great and it feels like a family type environment. The clients I work with are awesome. My supervisor is super supportive. I think the reason I have stayed at my current job for so long is because of my colleagues and supervisor as well as it being a supportive environment. The main reason I am looking for a new job is I don’t do well with a night shift.

Speaking of looking for a new job, I mentioned in an earlier post, I have a job interview at a local mental health agency. I hope I get the job because I love working in supportive housing. I also love being employed as a peer support specialist also known as a peer counselor. I am trying to not get my hopes up high about getting the job because if I don’t get it, I don’t really want to be let down. No matter what if I don’t get it the job, I will be let down but if I keep my expectations low then the let down won’t be so hard. I am looking forward to the interview because I will consider it practice especially if I don’t get the job.

Anyway on to something completely different. One of the ways I will keep myself from falling asleep is doing some art. I will be doing different mediums (genres) of art. I will be doing some coloring, painting and some collage. I most likely be combining the collage with some painting. I love my completed art work when it combines painting and collage. It is very interesting. I also enjoy giving my art away. People wonder why I don’t sell it. I don’t sell it because I don’t think its worth very much. I also love being able to give people hand made gifts.

The best part of Friday nights is that I get to spend the entire night awake with my cat, Billie Dean. I really think he appreciates when I don’t sleep at night because that way I spend the night playing with him and being awake with him. I love my cat so much. I really enjoy the fact that he is a cuddle bug. I think if it were up to him, he would spend all of his time in my lap.

I do not have much more to say. I just want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great Saturday. I also hope everyone has an awesome weekend ahead. Peace Out, World!!!

Gloomy Weather + Art + A Cat + Therapy = A Day of Self Care

Good Afternoon, World!!! I finally got some sleep. Not much sleep but some. I am grateful for the little sleep I did get. Sleep is key for me to help maintain the mental health symptoms of the diagnosis’s I have.

In all honesty my mood fits today’s weather here in Seattle. It is gray and gloomy which is how I feel at the moment. My gloomy mood most likely has something to do with the lack of sleep however it is something to be aware of as a just in case. A just in case depression symptoms start increasing. On that note, I am sort of glad the weather fits my gloomy mood because it means I can just lay back and do some art.

The type of art I plan on doing is coloring, collage and painting. In fact I am planning on finishing up one art piece that combines collage and painting. In fact I am extremely proud of this particular piece and hope to share it with you. I also plan on doing some coloring. Coloring soothes me as well as soothes the inner child in me.

Speaking of art, I will be watching the television show, The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross. It is another thing that soothes me and my inner child. The Joy of Painting helps me be at peace. There is something about Bob Ross and his painting that puts me in a state of calm.

Another thing I will be doing since I will be spending the day at home on this gloomy day is spending time with my cat, Billie Dean. I love Billie so much. I love the fact that he is a cuddle bug and very much a lap cat. I am happy to have him love on me today.

I am looking at the time and realize my therapy session  will be starting in the next twenty minutes. My therapist will be calling me at 12:30pm to have our session. Our session are currently on the  phone due to Covid-19. I would much rather have an in person therapy session but I totally understand why it is not at the moment.

I do not have much more to say. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Have an awesome day. Peace Out, World!!!

 

Phuck It!!! I Can’t Sleep

Good Morning, I still haven’t slept and am getting extremely frustrated about. Especially since I have things that need to get done and be attended to. Not being able to sleep is quite annoying as well as frustrating and wish my meds would work. I guess this is the time to use the DBT Skill; Radical Acceptance. Radical Acceptance isn’t one of the easiest DBT skills for me to use especially in regards to not sleeping but it is one of the most useful skills for me to use.

Besides using radical acceptance, I have been doing some art. I have been coloring, collaging and painting. I have also been doing a combination of mediums (genre’s) which has been quite fun and interesting. In fact I am happy to see some great finished pieces that I hope to give to people at some point. I enjoy making things and giving the finish product to people for the hell of it.

Billie Dean, my cat, has been keeping me company as I do art work. I am grateful to have Billie in my life and happy that he came into my life when he did. I really miss my last cat, Lil Gertie and think she was the one that led Billie and myself to each other. I know it seems weird but I think it’s the case. I sure love Billie and that he is a such a lap cat.

I don’t have much more to say. I do however want to thank every single one of you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope each one of you enjoys the Wednesday ahead of you and that you are able to find joy in this day. Peace Out, World!!!

Sleepless in Seattle

Good Morning, World!!! I am having another sleepless in Seattle type of night. I guess my anxiety is still pretty high after what happened with my neighbors and them fighting. Not a big fan of being high anxiety or having my insomnia act up. I partially blame my neighbors as well as this stupid pandemic known as Covid-19. The isolation is getting to me just like the noisy neighbors are getting to me and there is really nothing anyone can do about it at this point in time.

Something that I have been missing a great deal during this pandemic is baseball. I greatly miss baseball. Watching baseball helps a great deal with my anxiety as well as my other mental health diagnosis’s. I love watching baseball and was hoping to see my favorite team play this season but I don’t think it is going to happen this season.

Another thing that helps with my anxiety it doing art. In fact I have been doing art for most of the night to help with my anxiety. The art I did was mainly painting and collaging. In fact I have combined the two mediums (genre’s) and it’s pretty cool looking. Doing art work helps relax me and hope that if I do more it will help me get a few hours of sleep.

My cat, Billie Dean, has been quite helpful with me dealing with the add anxiety I have been dealing with. I don’t know what I would do without my cat. I love Billie so much. He is such a lap cat who loves to talk. I respond back some of the time and wonder what I agreed to. I am grateful to have Billie in my life.

Anyway, I have a phone therapy session with my therapist later today. The thing on my agenda to discuss in therapy is my added anxiety with everything going on. Yes, my therapist is well aware of the anxiety of the noise but I am hoping we can come up with other ways for me to deal with in. I will most likely bring up the sleep issues I am having and how it appears to be getting worse at the moment. I am grateful that my therapy is still going on even if it is on the phone. I wish it was in person but it is on the phone due to the pandemic. Oh how I wish Covid-19 would go away. Sadly, Covid-19 is a reality for everyone around the world at the moment.

I do not have much more to say. I just hope everyone has a great Wednesday ahead of them. I want to say thank you to everyone of you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I don’t know how to thank you enough. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I hope each one of you have a wonderful day ahead of you and are able to enjoy it. Peace Out, World!!!

Mindful Monday Type of Day

Good Evening, World!!! It is just another day in Seattle except it was a day I was able to see a friend I haven’t seen since the last day of school our freshman year of high school. She is here on a business trip and it was great to see this friend after nearly 25 years of not seeing her. The best part of seeing this friend was seeing her reaction the weather in Seattle today. Today’s Seattle report goes like this: Sun, Rain, More Sun, Snow, More Sun, Drizzle, More Sun which isn’t surprising to those of us who have lived here for quite some time. My friend asked me if this was “normal weather,” and my answer was “what you see is what you get” and then we both laughed. My friend said she wouldn’t be able to get use to weather like today and I said good we don’t need anymore people and we laughed again. It was nice seeing this friend and will be seeing her again tomorrow evening.

Now that I am home for the evening, I am missing my beloved cat immensely. There isn’t a day where I don’t think about my cat, Lil Gertie. I will be getting another kitty, eventually. My therapist wrote a letter as well as filled out the proper paperwork for me to turn into my landlord to be able to get approved for a reasonable accommodation for an emotional support animal (ESA). My new therapist concurs with my previous therapist that having an animal around for me would be helpful for my recovery. I have to agree that having a cat is quite helpful for my mental health recovery. So, once I get an emotional support animal approved by my landlord I will be getting another kitty.

Having an emotional support animal is just one of many ways to help me with my recovery. Another way to help me with my recovery is to listen to some mindfulness meditation twice daily. This has helped me with my anxiety as well being able to be more focused on what I need to do in the moment and for the day.  Now on something else that is a type of meditation for me.

That is watching The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross. There is something meditative about Bob Ross and his paintings. I am able to be mindful watching the Joy of Painting with Bob Ross. I will be attempting to paint what he does but I am sure it won’t look like

Weekly Plans

SUNDAY

  • Take nap when I get home from work. (Yes, I am still at work)
  • Do some art
  • Have dinner with friends
  • Work on workbooks

MONDAY

  • Go to DSHS to sort out the food stamp situation. (That’s if it doesn’t snow)
  • Do some art
  • Lunch with a friend who lives in my building
  • Get meds
  • Work on workbooks

TUESDAY

  • Volunteer at PAWS Cat City. (Looking forward to having some kitty time.)
  • Attend work meeting in the evening. (Hoping for snow so I can use it as an excuse to not attend.)
  • Work on workbooks

WEDNESDAY

  • Sleep in
  • Lunch with my grandpa. (I love spending time with my grandpa.)
  • Do some artwork.
  • Work on workbooks
  • Clean apartment

Thursday

  • See therapist
  • Attend DBT Group. (Hopefully it doesn’t get cancelled for any reason.)
  • Work on workbooks
  • Do some art work.

FRIDAY

  • Do some art work
  • Work on Workbooks
  • Clean apartment
  • Visit with my grandpa

SATURDAY

  • Sleep all day
  • Work all night

Grief is a Sign that You Have Loved and Loved Greatly

Hello, World!!! Right now I am crying over my cat, Lil Gertie. I am missing her a great deal at this very moment in time. Grieving her has been one of the most difficult things I have done in my life. But grieving is a sign that you have loved and loved greatly. I loved my cat, Lil Gertie so much. She gave me peace when she was alive and I think if I do some form of are that it will give me a sense of peace. I think I will watch the Joy of Painting with Bob Ross as he is peaceful. Maybe I can find some inspiration from Bob Ross from what he paints so I can get some idea about painting Lil Gertie.

I guess I am going to watch The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross. I hope it will help with the grief. I love Lil Gertie so much. I think I am trying to add something from Seattle in it as well but won’t be anything like Bob Ross’s paintings. Anyway, I hope I get inspired.

I hope everyone has a great weekend. I do no have much more to say. Lets just hope there is no snow in Seattle. Have an awesome weekend everyone. Peace Out, World!!