A Midnight Post

Hello, World!!! It is midnight in my corner of the world. I am staying up all night due to the fact I have to sleep all day. I need to sleep all day on Saturday’s because I work a twelve and a half hour night shift. I really enjoy my current job with the exception of it being a night shift. I am not a big fan of it being twelve and a half hours but I think if it was a day time shift I would be more accepting of a twelve and a half hour shift. My colleagues are great and it feels like a family type environment. The clients I work with are awesome. My supervisor is super supportive. I think the reason I have stayed at my current job for so long is because of my colleagues and supervisor as well as it being a supportive environment. The main reason I am looking for a new job is I don’t do well with a night shift.

Speaking of looking for a new job, I mentioned in an earlier post, I have a job interview at a local mental health agency. I hope I get the job because I love working in supportive housing. I also love being employed as a peer support specialist also known as a peer counselor. I am trying to not get my hopes up high about getting the job because if I don’t get it, I don’t really want to be let down. No matter what if I don’t get it the job, I will be let down but if I keep my expectations low then the let down won’t be so hard. I am looking forward to the interview because I will consider it practice especially if I don’t get the job.

Anyway on to something completely different. One of the ways I will keep myself from falling asleep is doing some art. I will be doing different mediums (genres) of art. I will be doing some coloring, painting and some collage. I most likely be combining the collage with some painting. I love my completed art work when it combines painting and collage. It is very interesting. I also enjoy giving my art away. People wonder why I don’t sell it. I don’t sell it because I don’t think its worth very much. I also love being able to give people hand made gifts.

The best part of Friday nights is that I get to spend the entire night awake with my cat, Billie Dean. I really think he appreciates when I don’t sleep at night because that way I spend the night playing with him and being awake with him. I love my cat so much. I really enjoy the fact that he is a cuddle bug. I think if it were up to him, he would spend all of his time in my lap.

I do not have much more to say. I just want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great Saturday. I also hope everyone has an awesome weekend ahead. Peace Out, World!!!

Gloomy Weather + Art + A Cat + Therapy = A Day of Self Care

Good Afternoon, World!!! I finally got some sleep. Not much sleep but some. I am grateful for the little sleep I did get. Sleep is key for me to help maintain the mental health symptoms of the diagnosis’s I have.

In all honesty my mood fits today’s weather here in Seattle. It is gray and gloomy which is how I feel at the moment. My gloomy mood most likely has something to do with the lack of sleep however it is something to be aware of as a just in case. A just in case depression symptoms start increasing. On that note, I am sort of glad the weather fits my gloomy mood because it means I can just lay back and do some art.

The type of art I plan on doing is coloring, collage and painting. In fact I am planning on finishing up one art piece that combines collage and painting. In fact I am extremely proud of this particular piece and hope to share it with you. I also plan on doing some coloring. Coloring soothes me as well as soothes the inner child in me.

Speaking of art, I will be watching the television show, The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross. It is another thing that soothes me and my inner child. The Joy of Painting helps me be at peace. There is something about Bob Ross and his painting that puts me in a state of calm.

Another thing I will be doing since I will be spending the day at home on this gloomy day is spending time with my cat, Billie Dean. I love Billie so much. I love the fact that he is a cuddle bug and very much a lap cat. I am happy to have him love on me today.

I am looking at the time and realize my therapy session  will be starting in the next twenty minutes. My therapist will be calling me at 12:30pm to have our session. Our session are currently on the  phone due to Covid-19. I would much rather have an in person therapy session but I totally understand why it is not at the moment.

I do not have much more to say. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Have an awesome day. Peace Out, World!!!

 

Phuck It!!! I Can’t Sleep

Good Morning, I still haven’t slept and am getting extremely frustrated about. Especially since I have things that need to get done and be attended to. Not being able to sleep is quite annoying as well as frustrating and wish my meds would work. I guess this is the time to use the DBT Skill; Radical Acceptance. Radical Acceptance isn’t one of the easiest DBT skills for me to use especially in regards to not sleeping but it is one of the most useful skills for me to use.

Besides using radical acceptance, I have been doing some art. I have been coloring, collaging and painting. I have also been doing a combination of mediums (genre’s) which has been quite fun and interesting. In fact I am happy to see some great finished pieces that I hope to give to people at some point. I enjoy making things and giving the finish product to people for the hell of it.

Billie Dean, my cat, has been keeping me company as I do art work. I am grateful to have Billie in my life and happy that he came into my life when he did. I really miss my last cat, Lil Gertie and think she was the one that led Billie and myself to each other. I know it seems weird but I think it’s the case. I sure love Billie and that he is a such a lap cat.

I don’t have much more to say. I do however want to thank every single one of you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope each one of you enjoys the Wednesday ahead of you and that you are able to find joy in this day. Peace Out, World!!!

Sleepless in Seattle

Good Morning, World!!! I am having another sleepless in Seattle type of night. I guess my anxiety is still pretty high after what happened with my neighbors and them fighting. Not a big fan of being high anxiety or having my insomnia act up. I partially blame my neighbors as well as this stupid pandemic known as Covid-19. The isolation is getting to me just like the noisy neighbors are getting to me and there is really nothing anyone can do about it at this point in time.

Something that I have been missing a great deal during this pandemic is baseball. I greatly miss baseball. Watching baseball helps a great deal with my anxiety as well as my other mental health diagnosis’s. I love watching baseball and was hoping to see my favorite team play this season but I don’t think it is going to happen this season.

Another thing that helps with my anxiety it doing art. In fact I have been doing art for most of the night to help with my anxiety. The art I did was mainly painting and collaging. In fact I have combined the two mediums (genre’s) and it’s pretty cool looking. Doing art work helps relax me and hope that if I do more it will help me get a few hours of sleep.

My cat, Billie Dean, has been quite helpful with me dealing with the add anxiety I have been dealing with. I don’t know what I would do without my cat. I love Billie so much. He is such a lap cat who loves to talk. I respond back some of the time and wonder what I agreed to. I am grateful to have Billie in my life.

Anyway, I have a phone therapy session with my therapist later today. The thing on my agenda to discuss in therapy is my added anxiety with everything going on. Yes, my therapist is well aware of the anxiety of the noise but I am hoping we can come up with other ways for me to deal with in. I will most likely bring up the sleep issues I am having and how it appears to be getting worse at the moment. I am grateful that my therapy is still going on even if it is on the phone. I wish it was in person but it is on the phone due to the pandemic. Oh how I wish Covid-19 would go away. Sadly, Covid-19 is a reality for everyone around the world at the moment.

I do not have much more to say. I just hope everyone has a great Wednesday ahead of them. I want to say thank you to everyone of you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I don’t know how to thank you enough. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I hope each one of you have a wonderful day ahead of you and are able to enjoy it. Peace Out, World!!!

Mindful Monday Type of Day

Good Evening, World!!! It is just another day in Seattle except it was a day I was able to see a friend I haven’t seen since the last day of school our freshman year of high school. She is here on a business trip and it was great to see this friend after nearly 25 years of not seeing her. The best part of seeing this friend was seeing her reaction the weather in Seattle today. Today’s Seattle report goes like this: Sun, Rain, More Sun, Snow, More Sun, Drizzle, More Sun which isn’t surprising to those of us who have lived here for quite some time. My friend asked me if this was “normal weather,” and my answer was “what you see is what you get” and then we both laughed. My friend said she wouldn’t be able to get use to weather like today and I said good we don’t need anymore people and we laughed again. It was nice seeing this friend and will be seeing her again tomorrow evening.

Now that I am home for the evening, I am missing my beloved cat immensely. There isn’t a day where I don’t think about my cat, Lil Gertie. I will be getting another kitty, eventually. My therapist wrote a letter as well as filled out the proper paperwork for me to turn into my landlord to be able to get approved for a reasonable accommodation for an emotional support animal (ESA). My new therapist concurs with my previous therapist that having an animal around for me would be helpful for my recovery. I have to agree that having a cat is quite helpful for my mental health recovery. So, once I get an emotional support animal approved by my landlord I will be getting another kitty.

Having an emotional support animal is just one of many ways to help me with my recovery. Another way to help me with my recovery is to listen to some mindfulness meditation twice daily. This has helped me with my anxiety as well being able to be more focused on what I need to do in the moment and for the day.  Now on something else that is a type of meditation for me.

That is watching The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross. There is something meditative about Bob Ross and his paintings. I am able to be mindful watching the Joy of Painting with Bob Ross. I will be attempting to paint what he does but I am sure it won’t look like

Weekly Plans

SUNDAY

  • Take nap when I get home from work. (Yes, I am still at work)
  • Do some art
  • Have dinner with friends
  • Work on workbooks

MONDAY

  • Go to DSHS to sort out the food stamp situation. (That’s if it doesn’t snow)
  • Do some art
  • Lunch with a friend who lives in my building
  • Get meds
  • Work on workbooks

TUESDAY

  • Volunteer at PAWS Cat City. (Looking forward to having some kitty time.)
  • Attend work meeting in the evening. (Hoping for snow so I can use it as an excuse to not attend.)
  • Work on workbooks

WEDNESDAY

  • Sleep in
  • Lunch with my grandpa. (I love spending time with my grandpa.)
  • Do some artwork.
  • Work on workbooks
  • Clean apartment

Thursday

  • See therapist
  • Attend DBT Group. (Hopefully it doesn’t get cancelled for any reason.)
  • Work on workbooks
  • Do some art work.

FRIDAY

  • Do some art work
  • Work on Workbooks
  • Clean apartment
  • Visit with my grandpa

SATURDAY

  • Sleep all day
  • Work all night

Grief is a Sign that You Have Loved and Loved Greatly

Hello, World!!! Right now I am crying over my cat, Lil Gertie. I am missing her a great deal at this very moment in time. Grieving her has been one of the most difficult things I have done in my life. But grieving is a sign that you have loved and loved greatly. I loved my cat, Lil Gertie so much. She gave me peace when she was alive and I think if I do some form of are that it will give me a sense of peace. I think I will watch the Joy of Painting with Bob Ross as he is peaceful. Maybe I can find some inspiration from Bob Ross from what he paints so I can get some idea about painting Lil Gertie.

I guess I am going to watch The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross. I hope it will help with the grief. I love Lil Gertie so much. I think I am trying to add something from Seattle in it as well but won’t be anything like Bob Ross’s paintings. Anyway, I hope I get inspired.

I hope everyone has a great weekend. I do no have much more to say. Lets just hope there is no snow in Seattle. Have an awesome weekend everyone. Peace Out, World!!

Sleepless in Seattle

Good Morning, World!!! It is 3:33 in morning in my corner of the world. That means I am Sleepless in Seattle once again. I am not a big fan of insomnia and it is just anxiety provoking which makes that much more challenging to get to sleep. Anxiety is my friend at the moment because I am anxious about starting my new volunteer job at an animal shelter that I adopted my Lil Gertie from but at least I will feel the love I received from her as I think this is what she would want me to do. I love my Lil Gertie so much and wish she didn’t have to cross the rainbow bridge but am grateful that she was in my life.

Since I haven’t been able to sleep I have been reading up on cats and their behavior since I will be volunteering with cats. I also have been reading up on cats in general. I have been learning a great deal about cats by reading and hope this will help me with my volunteer job and when I eventually do get another cat.

When I haven’t been reading about cat’s I have been listening to music as I did some art work. Actually, the type of art I have been doing is coloring. I am coloring a picture with both cats and dogs in it. The music and art work by coloring is quite helpful for me especially when I am unable to sleep.

I do know have much more to say as I will just repeating the same thing over and over which is something I don’t want to do. So, I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great Tuesday and the week ahead of you. Peace Out, World!!!

Goals for 2020

Happy New Years, World!!! This is the time of year where many people make resolutions for the New Year. I, however don’t make resolutions. I make goals. I make goals as I tend to keep them as well as they can be made at anytime of the year. I just wanted to share with you my goals for the upcoming year. It is my hope to be held accountable to you my reader by posting my goals with you fine folks.

~Attend appointments with mental health treatment team as well as groups on the regular basis. (I already do this however when things get bad I tend to isolate and avoid life like the plague. No, I am not expecting things to start going bad with my mental health symptoms.)

~Blog an average of three times a week. (I have found since I started blogging that it is quite helpful for me. I hope that blogging an average of three times a week will help you my reader stay engaged.)

~Read six books. (Last year it was my goal to read twelve books and I only read one. So I am making the goal a little more reachable.)

~Start and complete two recovery focused workbooks. (It is my hope that starting and completing two workbooks will help me with my recovery.)

~Get a job that is not night shift. (I have realized that working night shift is not for me especially since I have insomnia and need a regular sleep schedule.)

~Start volunteering with cats at a local animal shelter. (Hell, I have already started this process and my first shift is January 7th. In fact it will be where I adopted Lil Gertie and am looking forward to it.)

I have a few more goals but they are a little bit more private. I hope that you all can hold me accountable to the goals I mentioned above. You guys are all amazing and awesome.

I do not have much more to say. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope you all have a wonderful New Years. Happy New Years, World!!!

A Workplace Blog

Good Morning, World!!! As I type this, I am at work. I have three and hours left of my shift. I enjoy my job for the most part. I am not a big fan of a twelve and a hour night shift but at least it is in the social service field which is something I enjoy. At this point in time I am looking for another job because working the night shift isn’t exactly the best for me or my mental health because of my sleep cycle being out of wack.

My sleep already is out of wack due to having insomnia. Actually, my psychiatric nurse practitioner things it would a good idea to have a job that is not a night shift. The reason she says this is because of my “treatment resistant insomnia.” I am great she has my back this but she also agrees that work is good for my mental health and recovery.

Something I do at work to pass the time away when there is nothing to for a few hours is art work. Specifically, I color. In fact when the young adults I work with are unable to sleep they like to color with me. They appear to enjoy it.

Well, I do not have much more to say. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great Sunday. Peace Out, World!!!