Holiday Blues

Hello, World!!! I am unable to sleep once again in my corner of the world known as Seattle. I am unable to sleep due to insomnia. I am wondering if the reason why I am having an insomnia time night is because all the holiday stuff I did yesterday (Saturday) regarding Christmas with shopping and wrapping everything. The also includes listening to Christmas music as I colored Christmas themed coloring pictures. I’m wondering all this because I have trauma and PTSD around the holidays.

I am feeling like I am having the holiday blues so I decided to do art by coloring but I decided to color non holiday coloring pages and listen to non Christmas music. It seems like with me doing this that my depression, PTSD and Holiday Blues symptoms are lessening which is a good thing. I think I am going to go to bed.

I hope you all have a good night. I want to thank you for reading my blog. I appreciate you the reader for reading my blog as if it was not for reading it, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Happy Holidays and Peace Out World!!!

A Week till Christmas

Happy Holidays, World!!! It is hard to believe that Christmas is a week from today. I have of sadly did last minute shopping today and boy were the stores busy as hell which is not a surprise. I mainly still celebrate Christmas because of family. Mainly because my grandpa as he is 91 and wants to keep the family traditions going. In all honestly I still celebrate with my mom and that side of the family because my mom doesn’t very much support and I don’t want her to be alone when this time of year is already tough on her. As much as I’m not a fan of Christmas due to my own shit, I celebrate it because I know how much it means to others and want to bring them joy.

Hell, if I’m honest with myself I have my own Christmas traditions even though I celebrate other holidays this time of year. My personal Christmas traditions that I do just for me is read two comic books call Christmas with the Superhero’s One and Two. I also do two to three holiday or wintery puzzles as I listen to Christmas music. I say two to three puzzles because it depends on the size of the puzzles I do. I also do art work related to Christmas. Specifically, I have some pretty detailed Christmas coloring pages I do every year as I listen to Christmas music. Some of the coloring pages still aren’t finished yet due to me only coloring them during the holiday season. In fact if it wasn’t for a couple of therapist encouraging me to make my own Christmas traditions for just me and actually doing my own traditions, I would be more of a bah hum bugger than I already I am.

On that note Christmas in the Seattle area is my idea of way to spend a great Christmas. I love being able to celebrate Christmas with friends, family and my cat as it rains. Well, it rains most Christmas’s. Seattle has been known to have a white Christmas on occassion.

Billie Dean, my cat will be getting spoiled this Christmas. My grandpa will be cat sitting Billie when I go see my mom’s side of the family and some friends in the Olympia area of Washington. It appears that Billie is well loved by others as he is getting many gifts this year from friends and family just like he did last year. I thrilled that I have friends and family that love my cat, Billie just as much as I do.

Before I end this particular blog post, I just wanted to let you know that I am listening to Christmas music. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader do read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader reading my blog, I would not be writer my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my hear for reading my blog. Happy Holidays and Peace Out, World!!!

Just a Bunch of Ramblings the Holidays

Hello, World!!! It is almost nine o’clock in the evening in my corner of the world known as Seattle. My cat Billie Dean is lay right next to me as I type this particular blog. Billie has be quite helpful to me the last few days. The last few days my depression and PTSD symptoms have slightly increased. It’s hard do know if it’s actual symptoms or the winter blues and/or holiday blues. Maybe it’s all of the about but I am just grateful that Billie is helping be feel better.

As the Christmas holiday gets closer, I become someone anxious about being around family. I love my family but some of them increase my anxiety. That is why I have plans in place to when family shit hits the fan, I have ways to do self care.

I don’t have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you for reading my blog. Happy Holidays and Peace Out, World!!!

A Friday Morning Post

Good Morning, World!!! Well, at least it is still morning in my corner of the world here in Seattle. Normally, I would be working right now. I would be working from the office today but took the day off to do some trainings that are actually webinars that I could watch anytime but I wanted to have the day off today. Yes, I will be watching the training webinars later today when I know I struggle more with my depression and anxiety.

Anyway, I will be spending a few hours with my grandpa today for some family time with him. We are going to get me a new cell phone as mine is on the frits after having it for four years. My grandpa will be taking me to get some food as well. Food from my favorite restaurant of Red Robin. I love Red Robin. Besides a new phone and Red Robin, I will be doing some of my Christmas shopping. Not all of it but just some of it. I only celebrate Christmas because of my grandpa and somewhat for my mom as my mom just has me and my brother. Christmas gives me an excuse to spend time with family even if they are dysfunctional but I love them them. I personally celebrate another other holiday that I will discuss later.

On that note, Billie Dean, my cat is thrilled I am home at the moment. I think he is noticing that my anxiety and depression are acting up as he has been more lovey dovey or “clingy” lately especially after and issue I had with a work colleague. I love my job and enjoy working with my colleagues including the one I am having an issue with however I am grateful for Billie’s love and attention when things aren’t exactly going the way I want such as increased depression and anxiety symptoms.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Thank you again from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a good holiday season even if we are still stuck in a middle of a pandemic. Peace Out, World!!!

Just a Bunch of Rambling

Good Evening, World!!! Happy Hanukkah to those who are Jewish and celebrating this miracle holiday. In all honesty I get the feeling this particular blog post will go in all sorts of different directions as I seem scatter brained today.

Surprisingly, as I type this particular blog I am listening Christmas music. I guess it’s the season to do so. At least it is bringing me joy as I type this blog. Listening to Christmas music brought me joy at work as well. No, Christmas music was not playing when I was in session with clients. I guess the Christmas music helped me be productive with work today or at least the note taking part of my job.

Speaking of work, I have some pretty awesome colleagues. My small group team, I am a member of is an amazing group of people. I adore all my colleagues especially the ones that are on my small team. I really do like my supervisor. She is awesome.

After my work shift ended I decided to continue to listen to Christmas music while doing art work. My cat, Billie Dean wanted to help. So, some of my artwork is quite a bit more unusual than normal. I really love my cat and his “helpfulness” with the art work.

My depression has been acting up which is why I’ve been making some art work while listening to Christmas music. I am planning on giving my art work away as gifts during this holiday season to my friends and family.

I am grateful for the friends and family I have in my life. They truly do love and care about me. Billie, my cat is now trying to help me type this particular blog post. I feel the love from my colleagues, friends, family and my cat Billie.

I don’t have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. If it wasn’t for you the reader reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Happy Hanukkah to those of you who are celebrating it. Peace Out, World!!!

The Start of the 2021 Holiday Season

Happy Hanukkah, World!!! Yesterday evening (Sunday, November 28, 2021) was the start of Hanukkah. I am personally not Jewish and I enjoy the meaning of the holiday as it was a miracle. Don’t know what to say as a non Jewish person but I do know it was a miracle and wouldn’t be able to share the story of the miracle which deserves some who is more familiar to share the miracle. Happy Hanukkah to the readers who are Jewish.

Honestly, this past week has been both emotionally and physically draining for me. It was physically draining for me because deep cleaned the bathroom as I let it get really gross and disgusting. Cleaning helped me feel a since of accomplishment even though I missed my cat, Billie Dean wasn’t around to “help” me with cleaning which isn’t helpful so he went my grandpa’s as I cleaned the bathroom as well a couple of corners in my living room.

The physical stuff was due to cleaning. The emotional stuff was missing my grandma almost four years ago as well as loosing my last cat Lil Gertie two years ago which landed on Thursday, November 28, 2019 which happened to be Thanksgiving Day that year (2019). The other emotion stuff was attending a goodbye dinner for my cat’s Billie’s last vet, Dr. B. Sadly, she had to make a tough decision close forever.

Speaking of vets, Billie Dean saw his new vet today. He tolerated a couple of things and I think that is a good thing. This vet and I are going to do our best to keep Billie a healthy quality of life which is why this vet wants to see Billie twice a year. When I adopted Billie, I knew there were dental issues and upper respiratory infection (URI). So, I knew there were going to be issues. I’m happy that I made the decision to have Dr. B (Billie’s old vet) take some bloodwork done while Billie was under to get his teeth cleaned. I really miss Dr. B even though the new vet is great. Billie was not quite sure of the new vet but sure in the hell impressed with her.

In fact I partly took today off from work to take care of Billie. The other part was give me some me time. Me time was taking Billie to meet his new vet who is awesome. The other me time I have been doing is spending time with Billie while I do some art while listening to Christmas music. I think it’s okay to place Christmas music now that Thanksgiving is over.

I know there are many other holidays this time of year and hope to find the time to blog about them. I don’t want to exclude out when it comes to holidays being celebrated. I want to make sure I can learn about other religions so I can share about them when it is time to celebrate them. I will do my best to post other holidays celebrate this time of year.

I don’t have much more to say in this particular blog post. I just want to thank you for reading my blog as if you weren’t I would not be writing it. I really appreciate you the read my blog as if it wasn’t for you I would not be writing it. Again, thank you from the bottom of my hear for reading my blog. Happy Hanukkah and Peace Out, World!!!

Too Early to be Awake Even for a Work Day

Good Morning, World!!! It is four o’clock in the morning, Seattle time which is way too early for me to be awake especially since I do not start work till eight o’clock in morning, Seattle time. I am blaming the treatment resistant insomnia I have. I am missing my cat Billie right now but he is on my grandpa’s and will see both Billie and my grandpa tomorrow for Thanksgiving.

At least it is only a four hour work day at my job today and I get paid for a full eight hours which I am happy about. I love my job and how I feel supported my by supervisors and colleagues. I work with some amazing people.

I am not sure what else to discuss in this blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader reading my blog, I wouldn’t be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart fro reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Ramblings About Work, Thanksgiving, Family, Food, Love & Cats

Hello, World!!! It is almost ten o’clock at night on a Tuesday in my neck of the woods; known as Seattle. I love my job more than I could have ever imagined. My work really takes care of it’s employees. In fact my work is closing the agency at twelve noon which is early tomorrow (Wednesday) due to the Thanksgiving holiday on Thursday. My work is even closed Thursday which is Thanksgiving Day here in the United States as well as closed on Friday the day after Thanksgiving. I am so grateful for my work doing this for myself and my colleagues and we still get paid a full eight hours for tomorrow (Wednesday) and we only work for four hours tomorrow. On that note I am personally taking the Monday after Thanksgiving off to have a longer weekend.

Anyway, right now my cat, Billie Dean is at my grandpa’s and uncles house and has been since Sunday. The reason being is because I want to do a deeper clean than I normally do in my bathroom since that’s where Billie’s litter box is. I will do this after I get off work tomorrow at twelve noon. I really do miss Billie but I have been have video chats with Billie with the help of my grandpa and uncle. I love my cat Billie and can’t wait to see him on Thanksgiving Day.

I will be spending Thanksgiving Day with my family. Specifically, my grandpa, dad and two uncles on my dad’s side and let not forget my cat Billie will be there. We will be eating a lot of food on Thanksgiving like many Americans do on Thanksgiving. I am happy that I will be around loved ones on Thanksgiving Day eating way too much food.

I will also be doing something I have been doing on the daily basis and getting my form of education of philosophy by listening to a podcast on the topic. The philosophy podcast I am being educated on is Philosophize This.” I am making sure I listen to at least one episode a day till I get up to day on the most recent episode. I try to listen to two to three episodes but sometimes I don’t have enough time to do so.

I do not have much more to discuss in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog because if it wasn’t for you the reader reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. So, I would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Disappointment of the Christmas Holiday

Good Evening, World!!! I am greatly disappointed right now. My greatest wish that I have had since I was three was that both sides of my family would celebrate together with me. Sadly, this has never happened. My paternal grandfather over to drive me and my dad’s side to my moms side of the family to give me the one wish I have wanted since I was three, to have my family spend time with me so I wouldn’t have to do all the traveling. Sadly, my mom, brother and two uncles on my moms side refuse to get vaccinated while my dad, grandpa and two uncles on my dads side our vaccinated. Hell, I am vaccinated. My mom’s side doesn’t want to get vaccinated for personal reasons and I respect that. My grandpa isn’t willing to put his health or the health of my dad as risk. So I am very disappointed that other peoples choices are effecting the one Christmas wish I have wanted since I was three. I respect both sides of my families decision with their health choices. I just wish they would realize my Christmas wish is for both sides of my family to get together. Something that hasn’t happened since I was two years old. I am now 42. It’s be 40 years since both sides of my family were together for Christmas.

It’s very disappointing the my family has continued to not make my life long wish not come true and I am “the selfish one” for wanting this since I was three years old when my parents divorced the summer I was three years old. It should wasn’t my choice my parents divorced. I am lucky that my parents have remained friends.

I guess for me this pandemic know as Covid-19 has put my greatest Christmas wish to a halt. I respect everyone’s choices regarding their health I am disappointed my greatest Christmas hope isn’t going happened once again.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope you all have a great evening. Peace Out, World!!!

Everyday Inspiration; Day 11: A Cup of Coffee

If we were having coffee right now, I wouldn’t be drinking coffee as I detest the taste of coffee. I may not like the taste of coffee but I love the smell of it. One would think after living in Seattle the last twenty-six years that I would have at least started drinking coffee by now but I just don’t like the taste of it.

I most likely would get tea or hot chocolate if we were “having coffee.” Most of the time it depends on the time of day as well as the time of year if I would choose tea or hot chocolate. Most of the time if it is morning I will choose tea. I usually will drink hot chocolate in the evening. If it is during the holidays I usually will drink hot chocolate even in the morning as it reminds me of some good childhood memories. After the holidays, I go back to morning tea.

I started drinking tea every morning as a teenager because I watched my grandma drink tea every morning. So, it became a morning ritual to drink tea everyday. The only exception is during the Christmas time as hot chocolate and Christmas reminds me of good childhood memories.