Tag Archives: Music

Christmas in July

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! I know it’s July. In fact it is the fourth of July. It being the fourth of July isn’t stopping me from play Christmas music in July. Normally, I don’t play Christmas music in July but Christmas is my mom’s favorite holiday. In fact some people like my mom do Christmas in July. She even decorates Christmas decorations in July.

I recently found out that my mom has stage three lung cancer. They are even doing an MRI to see if it spread to the brain. My mom and I have may not have the best relationship but at least the last two to three years we been mending things up. I’m glad we are mending things up because realistically we do not when are time to go is going happen. As hopeful as I am that she is going to survive this I also have to be realistic about it and her not making it.

Something my mom does every year is celebrate Christmas in July and even gives my brother and I gifts on the fourth of July as well as July 25th since “the real Christmas” lands on December 25th. My mom even decorates her home with Christmas decorations. Even though I have some hope she will survive, I decided to decorate my place with Christmas decorations just in cast she doesn’t make it. I sent her a gift for the Fourth of July and of course send her one on the 25th of July. She is my mom and I want her to feel loved.

In all honesty I’m scared she may not make it especially if they find out if it spread to the brain. I am trying to hold out hope and hope that doing Christmas in July will give her the hope she needs. She has been in pretty good spirits but it is my hope that with me doing Christmas in July with my mom it will give her more hope for survival. We may have had not the best relationship but am thrilled we have been mending it over the last two or three years. So here is to a good Christmas in July.

Merry Christmas in July Mom. I love you to the moon and back.

Everyday Inspiration; Day 2 , Write A List

Posted on by Gertie

Things I am learning

  • I’m learning to play the harmonica. (I already know how to play music as I play the flute. I don’t play it very well but I hope it helps me learn to play learn to play the harmonica.)
  • I am learning to do crafts. Specifically, cross stich. I am starting with the kid stamped cross stitch first so I can start from the beginning like a child.
  • I am starting to eat heather as I want eat less just food
  • I am going to do two walks a day. One in the morning which I already do and do one in the evening which I don’t do yet. I will start the evening walk tonight.

Not Sure What Today Hold

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I didn’t sleep at all last night. It I am not exactly why but it happens especially when one has insomnia. At least I got to spend it with Billie on my lap while I read a Star Wars book most of the night.

As for today, I am not exactly sure what today holds since I didn’t sleep last night especially since it is ten o’clock in the morning; Seattle time. I most likely will end up taking a nap at some point today. When I get no sleep, I become a cranky bucket.

Besides taking a nap I plan on reading a Star Wars book as well as Wonder Woman comic books. It appears that I am back on a reading kick once again. I think it’s partly because I don’t want to deal with the realities of what is going on in the world as well as the fact that I am getting laid of on June 3rd which is this Friday.

Another thing I plan on doing is art. Not sure what type of are and might intertwine genres of art. Of course while doing art I will be listening to music as I create it. Not exactly sure what genre of music but I think it will all depend on the genre of art I choose to do.

I do not have much more to ay in this particular post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Middle of the Night Munchies

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is two nineteen in the morning here is Seattle with my cat Billie laying next me. Honestly, I have the munchies and took too many of two my meds. I took too many to NOT die by suicided but lessen the pain I feel for my client who took their own life. I took the Xanax and Ambien numb myself and hopefully get sleep. Sadly, I can’t sleep and I have a big day ahead of me.

I got the munchies from the meds. I’m eating Ben and Jerry’s Half Baked ice cream as well as some cheese ball ship stuff and Cherry Pepsi. As I a eating I a listening to some music. In fact I feel high with the amount of med I took. No I am NOT suicidal, I jus need to numb myself.

After eating, I will continue to is to music with my cat, Billie by my side as well as do some art. Not sure what type of art but some form of it.

I don’t have a lot more to say expect I’m going to miss my client died by suicide. Thank you all for being there for me and I promise you I won’t do any harm to myself. Peace Out, World!!!!

Not the Weekend I Was Expecting

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! This weekend didn’t turn out as planned. I was planning on going to a street fair in my neighborhood both yesterday and today as well as volunteer at PAWS Cat City this morning. Sadly, I cancelled those plans due to needing to go to the hospital late Friday night /early Saturday morning. I was unable to urinate for nearly twelve hours so I went to the hospital to get medical care. Good news is now I a am able to pee. Bad news is I have a bladder infection, a kidney infection in both kidney’s as well as kidney stones in both kidney’s. I do have meds on board and schedule an appointment with my regular doctor the Friday, May 27th.

I didn’t go to the street fair yesterday because I was at the hospital all night so I slept all day. I didn’t go to the street fair today because I’m just so tired from the meds they gave me. I missed going this year because they didn’t have the street fair in 2020 or 2021 due Covid-19. I miss hearing the music and seeing all the art at the street fair. Most of all I miss hanging out with friends eat street fair food. I did have friends bring street fair food to me hereat home and am grateful for that.

Another thing I missed doing was volunteering at PAWS Cat City this morning. I love being able to start the day by doing cleaning duties, playing with the cats and helping cats find furrever homes. I love volunteering at PAWS Cat City.

On that note I go to spend the day with Billie my cat all day as well as eat fair food brought to me by friends and hanging out with them in my home for a couple of hours. I was and am able to enjoy the art the bought for me. I was also able to listen to music from Spotify as well a read comic books. Even though my weekend plans didn’t go as planned I was able to do so self care and Billie my cat as well as friends and neighbors helping me out. Loved being able to enjoy art and street fair food brought by friends. Also loved being able to read comic books and listen to music as I hung out with my cat Billie.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I just want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. So, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Just a rambling of a post

Posted on by Gertie

Happy Friday, Everyone. Well at least it is still is here in Seattle for another few minutes. My depression is action up and at least I know my meds are work for my depression. I just need to use the skills in my tool box and WRAP plan the help lessen the depression. In fact Billie, my cat is helping with my depression.

Sadly, depression is increasing my self harm urges is why I am focusing on my self care plan. My self-care play is to continue to listen to music and do art. Also I will be going to a street fair tomorrow (Saturday). The last time this street fair happened was in 2019 and was cancelled in 2020 and 2021 due to Covid019. I’m looking forward to attending.

As far as my self harm urges, I plan on working on my skills to keep myself sane. Of course Billie will be a big help with that.

I don’t have much more to say except thank you for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great weekend. Peace Out!!!

Just a Blog About My Day

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! Today was a hard and busy day at work. I had two appointments with clients, a clinical meeting, called twenty-three client and wrote note on the client I saw and called. The best part such a busy day, I still managed to get my one hour lunch. I love that my current employer gives us an hour lunch and we get paid for it. Having a “meal” or something to eat during the work day unless you’re fasting for religious reasons one of the few mandatory rule we had. Of course seeing clients and writing notes on clients in a timely manner is also mandatory. I love my job and I am sad that I am getting laid off. I just wish my was not going to close. I love my job for many reasons. My clients are amazing and seeing their recovery process is awesome. Having great colleagues even the one that don’t like one another were civil and professional about it. Mostly it was that I felt support by my colleagues and supervisor. I supervisors who were not micromanagers which is why I was able to what I needed to do at work today.

Now that I am off work for the day, I’ve decided to do some self care. I started by going for a walk in this beautiful Seattle weather has I listened to music. When I got home from my walk I read a couple of chapter in the novel I am reading and then read a couple of comic books. After that I did some art as I listened to music my recovery play list. Of course, my cat Billie “helped” with my art work. Now, as I write this blog I’m still listening to music from recovery playlist as Billie lays on my legs. Doing this self care is helping me with the grief of being laid of from a job I love with a passion.

The grief with being laid of is real for me and many of my colleagues. It hasn’t been easy the last almost three months but I have faith that my colleagues and I will get through this grief together and in our own ways.

I don’t have much more to discuss in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading it. It is greatly appreciated from end of things that you the reader read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. So, thank you so very much from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out World!!!

Resiliency Making an Appearance

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! The last two and half months have been challenging for me and many others due to the unexpected news off my employer closing and being laid off. It has been quite traumatizing for all involved and am beyond grateful for the support I have received from many different people including those, I never expected support from.

If you been reading my blog regularly the last two and half months, you know I’m getting laid off due to my employer closing. Due to Covid-19 I know most of my colleagues via zoom and same goes for the clients I serve. Any way, I am realizing the fact how resilient myself, colleagues and clients are while sharing the same trauma even though we are experiencing it in different ways.

As sucky as the pandemic has been, Zoom has become a love hate relationship. Zoom may has it’s problems but it sure has its ups. Lets start by the best part of Zoom meetings and appointments which is surprise visits from all the pets which includes on my end seeing (and hearing) birds, rabbits, cats, dogs, turtles, snakes, rats and a miniature horse. I think with the seeing all the animals people have as pets has built a rapport with others if the pandemic didn’t happen. I know my cat, Billie, has helped my clients in Zoom appointments. Hell, Billie and my colleagues pets have helped ease a lot of meetings when they (pets) make an appearance in meetings.

Not only have pets including my own cat Billie has helped with my resiliency, music has helped a great deal. The last two and have months my recovery play list has helped a great with the resiliency part of my recovery. My recovery play list appears to be the play list I’ve been listening to the most since I found out I was being laid off. So music helping so much just my cat Billie is.

I don’t have much more to say except that my cat, Billie (and other animals/pets I see in Zoom meetings) and music have been helping me a great deal with being resilient. I also want to thanks you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciative from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Official Date for Lay Off from Work

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!!! I finally found out when my lay off date is at work and am not sure if I am allowed to share it as I signed some documentation. In all honest with you, I think it’s the other shit that they don’t want out there. Not everyone has the same lay off date but mine is June 3rd of this year. I’m sad I only have a couple of weeks to say goodbye to client but they will be going to place that will be helpful to them. My place employment was a mental health agency the was geared toward the queer community was it’s main focus so Seattle experience a big loss especially since it’s been around for fifty three years.

On that note I’ve have friends and family checking on me that makes me feel loved. Having a good support system is needed when you are in recovery from anything. I truly love my friends and family and that they love and care for me back. My colleagues are in the same category as friends and family.

Speaking of friends and family, Billie Dean, my cat is on my lap as I write this post as I listen to my recovery playlist from Spotify. My cat being near me is surely helping my emotions just like the music is. Music is a go to for me to change my mood around. Billie my cat listening to the music just helps that just much more.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. So, again thank you from the bottom of my hear for reading my blog. Peace Out, World.

Just One of Them Days

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! It’s been one of them days where I things that went all the wrong directions, actually got everyone off work early. First the president is in town so everyone is working from home. Which is great because I’m dealing with a migraine.

The not so great part of working from home is four out of my five clients cancelled on me and I am finished with my paperwork so my supervisor gave me the rest of the day off with pay due to having a migraine. To make it worse the fire alarm system in my apartment building keeps malfunctioning

Just like planning a good bye party at work in a dysfunctional way, this is how my neighbors get together in a difunctional way. Yes, in a way my dysfunctional family’s are very similar at times, annoying and fun at the same time.

Well, since I get to take the rest of the day off, I get to do some self care. Self care with my cat Billie and listening to music while taking care of my health care of a migraine. Peace Out, World.