Tag Archives: PTSD

Up Too Late Reading Due to C-PTSD

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It just after two o’clock in the morning Seattle time and sleep is not happening at the moment. The reason why sleep is not happening at the moment is due to C-PTSD symptoms. Due to the severity of my C-PTSD symptoms I am reading a horror book. The current horror book I am reading is The Graceview Patient, by Caitlin Starling. So far, I am immensely enjoying the book.

I tend to read horror books in the evening to help reduce the amount of C-PTSD related nightmares. Nightmares related to horror books I read are easier to cope with than nightmares related to C-PTSD. That is why I am currently reading a horror book, so when I do attempt to go to sleep it might not be so challenging to do so. Having C-PTSD sucks shit.

I do not have anything else to discuss or share or to write about in this particular blog post except to say it is time to cuddle with my cat, Billie and continue to read. I do want to thank you the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Thursday Morning Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I didn’t sleep very well last night. Part of it was due to insomnia and the other part was due to PTSD. In my opinion having both insomnia and PTSD suck shit. Since I was not able to sleep very well last night, I decided to read. I am reading Starter Villain by John Scalzi. I am really enjoying the book, and I am hoping to finish it soon as there are some books I bought at Emerald City Comic Con that I bought that I really want to read. At least reading helps me not focus so much on my PTSD symptoms.

I do not have anything else to discuss or share or to write about in this particular blog post except to say it is time to cuddle with my cat, Billie before I get ready for work. I do want to thank you the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Middle of the Night Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is two forty-five in the morning on Wednesday, March 4th of 2026 and sadly I am not able to sleep. I’m pretty sure my PTSD and insomnia are conspiring against me to be sleepless in Seattle. Being sleepless in Seattle is nothing new to me and it majorly sucks. It sucks because I tend to be a cranky bucket the next day, but I am hoping it won’t affect me so much since I have so much to look forward to.

One of the things, I have to look forward to starts tomorrow (Thursday, March 5th) to Sunday (March 8th). That something is Emerald City Comic Con. It also happens that this weekend is my birthday weekend which makes Emerald City Comic Con that much more special for me. I have been looking forward to this since August of last year (2025). I can’t wait till tomorrow as it is the start of my birthday weekend.

Speaking of birthdays, I bought myself a birthday present. A birthday present that is going to be a weekend of fun here in Seattle and is in April of this year (2026) that involves cats. That birthday present is going to a cat convention known as Pop Cats. I have never been to a cat convention, and I love cats, so I thought it would be a great birthday present to myself especially since it is here in Seattle.

As I am informing you of the conventions, I am going be attending it reminds me of the communities I belong to and how important it is to continue to participate in those communities I am in. I’m part of the comic book community as I love comic books just like I am part of the cat community because I love cats as well as volunteer with cats. As someone who is in mental health recovery building community is huge. For me making sure that I belong to more than one community is key to my recovery. Hell, everyone belongs to multiple different communities.

I do not have anything else to discuss or share or to write about in this particular blog post except to say it is now time to cuddle with my cat, Billie. I do want to thank you the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Brief Health Update

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! I just wanted to give you brief health update. Nothing major but just wanted to update you the reader about my health. Overall, my health is good. On that note, I ended up needing to get a stint put in from my left kidney to my bladder due “one extremely oversized kidney stone” that was blocking everything in the left kidney. Due to the blockage, I ended up with a kidney infection. The doctor informed me that procedure to put in the stint went well but took longer than expected due to scarring I have due severe childhood trauma. I did inform the medical team of the scaring, but they “didn’t realize the severity of it” which I guess, I kind of understand. I got the stint last Monday (February 23rd) and it is still causing a lot of physical discomfort.

Also, my C-PTSD symptoms have increased due to the stint being placed and being told “the scarring was more severe than the team realized.” I don’t know why it put me in a tailspin, but it did. I have been taking care of my mental health as I don’t want to end up suicidal or have self-harm urges. My mental health recovery means the world to me especially since it is requirement for my job and job description.

Speaking of jobs. I had to miss work last week because for the procedure. I missed last Monday and Tuesday because I was in the hospital due to the procedure. I missed last Thursday due to recuperating from the surgery both physically and mental health wise. I only work twenty hours a week which means I work three days a week which are Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays. I work two six-hour days and one eight hour day. I love my job so very much and sadly will most likely have to use some vacation time for what I missed but I’m okay with that.

I do not have anything else to discuss or share or to write about in this particular blog post except to say it is now time to cuddle with my cat, Billie. I do want to thank you the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Brief Blog Before Going to Volunteer

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! Right now, I am dealing with some depression and PTSD symptoms which majorly sucks. I just want to stay home and do absolutely nothing. The thing is if I do then I will be stuck in my own head which isn’t very helpful at all. I can easily just call out from volunteering at PAWS Cat City but I am not going to do that because, I don’t want to be stuck in my own head, and I really do enjoy volunteering. Plus, I love cats. I am just happy that I have volunteering today as well as going out to dinner later to Red Robin with my partner and some of our friends. It also looks like it is going to be another beautiful day here in Seattle weather wise. I love today’s Seattle weather. Now time to give my own cat some loving before volunteering.

I do not have anything else to discuss or share or to write about in this particular blog post except that I need to volunteer with a bunch of cats and PAWS Cat City. I do want to thank you the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Check-In

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It’s that time of week again where I do my weekly check-in. Let’s discuss how work is going. My job is going quite well, and I love my job. Despite being informed that I am doing a good job at work I worry about not passing my probationary period due to my supervisor being out on leave to take care of his mom, I’ve been informed to not worry about as I am “doing a good job and going above and beyond the call of duty.”

Even though I have been told this, it still worries me but at least I am doing what I am supposed be doing. In fact, I am doing some trainings to help the people I help. The plus thing it is counting continuing education credits once the peer licensure changes. I am really enjoying the two trainings/continuing education courses I am taking. I am taking Personal Medicine Coaching that Pat Deegan created which is awesome as well as taking the Hearing Voices Facilitator training through the Hearing Voices Network USA. I really do enjoy the fact it is all peer focused, and the trainings are being facilitated by people who have lived experience and if for some reason I don’t pass my probationary period at work, I at least have more to add to my resume. Hell, even if I pass it still looks good on the resume. A good friend of mine as well as current colleague both tell me that I am experiencing something called imposter syndrome. I’m not sure if I am experiencing imposter syndrome or not, many people no matter their job title experience it.

I may not know if I have imposter syndrome regarding my job, my depression and PTSD symptoms have been acting up. I have a theory or two on why my symptoms are acting up, but I do know what is helping me cope with my symptoms. Going to work is helping just like volunteering at PAWS Cat City and with Alley Cat Project. Volunteering and working help a great deal but my cat, Billie is extremely helpful with coping. I am so very glad that I have my cat, Billie in my life to help me through good and bad moments as well as everything in between.

I do not have anything else to discuss or share or to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Fighting Off PTSD & Depression Symptoms

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! Right now, I am struggling with some depression and PTSD. I wish I was not struggling with my PTSD or depression symptoms but I am. Since I am struggling with my mental health symptoms, I made sure I went to my regular volunteer shift at PAWS Cat City which helped a great deal. Now that I am home, I had a late lunch and cuddled with my cat, Billie as I did some artwork. The type of artwork that I did was color. Coloring is both therapeutic and meditative for me. Even though my PTSD and depression symptoms are acting up, I am glad volunteering at PAWS Cat City, cuddling with my cat, Billie and coloring have been helpful for me today. Let’s hope coloring continues to help me this evening. Cuddling with my cat, Billie is always helpful.

I do not have anything else to discuss or share or to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Another Sleepless Night In Seattle

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am sadly experiencing my third night in a row of not being able to sleep. It is partly due to PTSD and part due to insomnia. Both royally suck shit. Since I am unable to sleep, I have been listening to music as my cat, Billie lays in my lap and I do some form artwork. I have been doing some diamond art/painting as well as some coloring. Both coloring and diamond art/painting is both therapeutic and meditative for me. I am so glad that I have my cat, Billie, music and artwork to help me through sleepless nights like tonight.

I do not have anything else to discuss or share or to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Sleepless In Seattle Type Of Night

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am sadly unable to sleep due to the combination of insomnia and PTSD. Having both insomnia and PTSD sucks shit especially when they both rear their ugly heads at the same time. Since I have been unable to sleep due to insomnia and PTSD, I have been listening to music as my cat, Billie lays on my lap as I do some artwork. Specifically, I am doing diamond art/painting. I am still doing the one of a tuxedo cat as I had briefly stopped doing it for various reasons including starting my new job as a peer specialist. I really do enjoy doing diamond art/painting especially when my cat, Billie lays on my lap as I them.

I do not have anything else to discuss or share or to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

I Am Awake Way Too Early

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am awake way too early. Since I am awake way too early, I decided to blog although I wish I was still asleep. It is hard to believe that tomorrow at this time, I will another year older. Tomorrow is my birthday, and it is my first birthday that I am celebrating since both of my parents died. I am extremely sad over this. I really wish they were both still alive to celebrate my birthday with me and sadly that is not the case.

Speaking of my parents being dead, I saw my therapist yesterday and we discussed the increase of my PTSD symptoms. We discussed how shaken I was and am on how much my PTSD symptoms have increased. My therapist informed me that it is common for people who experienced trauma in their childhood that people will experience an increase of PTSD symptoms after one and/or both of their parents’ deaths. I didn’t know this, but I was not shocked by it. To make matters worse, I was looking over some paperwork I need to fill out regarding my dad, and I remembered some stuff that happened to me by my now ex stepbrother. As much as I don’t want to remember the shit, I have been through I am grateful that I have a therapist to help me through it.

I do not have anything else to discuss or share or to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!