Anxiety That Won’t Go Away

Good Evening, World!!! As I mentioned in an earlier post I didn’t see my therapist today for our session due to anxiety. We did reschedule our appointment for Thursday. He has checked up on me twice today to make I am doing okay. Yes, I am doing okay. Or better than I was.

Better than I was earlier especially since my budget is better than I thought it was going to be. I forgot to include my tax refund I got in my budget.

Even though I had anxiety over my budget my therapist and I figured out that I was having anxiety due to PTSD symptoms. Symptoms that don’t help with my general anxiety symptoms. Symptoms I wish were subsiding but they are not so much.

Thank you so much for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Still High Anxiety

Good Afternoon, World!!! I missed therapy today due to the fact my anxiety was too high. My therapist did check-in with me and we discussed my anxiety. We figured out that part of my anxiety was due to the PTSD. We also found that the last time my anxiety was this bad was over a year ago and is major improvement. I love it when there is a silver lining in things.

Besides dealing with anxiety, I have figured out some things about my money situation. Figuring out the money situation is a huge relief for me. Knowing that I have things in place as a just in case is a huge relief.

I think I am going to call some friends and see if they want to hang out. Maybe go and have a late lunch or something. Most of my friends tend to love to eat.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

A High Anxiety Monday

Hello, World!!! I am struggling so much with anxiety that I am unable to make it to my therapy appointment. I am not sure why my anxiety is acting up so badly but it is. It hasn’t acted up so badly to where I am unable to make it to an appointment especially therapy. Just as long as it is not this bad tomorrow I’ll be okay.

I say just as long as it is not this bad tomorrow, I’ll be okay because I have a job interview tomorrow. It is job I really want and one I think I would be good at. That is why I hope my anxiety isn’t this high tomorrow.

I found out this morning that it could take up to three weeks to find out how much I made from the advertisements on my blog. That means at least another month with them. Depending how much I make all depends if I keep them. I may not keep them as I don’t like them but I need the extra money.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Working Through Shit

Good Evening, World!!! I am having one of those moments again where I just need to write through shit. Shit that includes PTSD symptoms. PTSD symptoms that are severe at the moment but I know I will get through them.

I should find out some time in the next day or two about how much money I earned with the advertisements on my blog. I get paid through PayPal which will be good for my online purchase and help keep me from using my credit card. I have to earn a minimum of one hundred dollars to be able to access the money I earned which sucks.

I just don’t know why I am having an up and down day today. It sucks shit. Having Depression and PTSD is no fun and wish the emotions that came with them would subside even a little bit.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Reading Helping Me Through PTSD

Good Evening, World!!! I am slightly struggling at the moment. I am struggling with some PTSD symptoms. Symptoms that are acting up for some unknown reason at the moment. Symptoms I will be working through.

Besides fighting against PTSD symptoms, I have been attempting to lay low. I am laying low due to the symptoms of PTSD as well as it just one of those days for me.

I’ve been reading most of the day as it appears that it has been quite helpful for me today. It has gotten me out of my head and has helped reduce the PTSD symptoms.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Tough Evening

Hello, World!!! This evening has been a rough one despite it being a good day. It has been rough because my PTSD. PTSD that appears to not be letting up at the moment. So this is when my coping skills box comes in handy. Skills that will be quite helpful for me to do once I am done blogging.

I think that reading might be a helpful coping skill for me to do right. Reading helps me get out of my head. Reading also helps my PTSD symptoms subside even for a brief moment or two.

Thank you for reading. It is much appreciated. Peace Out, World!!!

Successfully, Working Through Struggles

Hello, World!!! I am struggling at the moment yet I am having a good day. I went to the park and did some art work. I did some coloring while I was at the park. It is a beautiful day here in Seattle which is why I decided to go to the park and color. I enjoyed myself. In fact I think I got a slight sunburn as I am a little pink.

After coming home I decided to do some painting. I am going to painting how this sunny weather is making me feel. I am feeling happy at the moment despite my struggles with PTSD.

Thank you for reading and Peace Out, World!!!

Mr. Sandman, Where Are You

Hello, World!!! I am having trouble sleeping once again. I am getting slightly frustrated with not being able to sleep. I am partly blaming the no sleep yet on PTSD because my symptoms are acting up.

Something that helps me with my PTSD symptoms is reading. Something I have been doing most of the night as it is one thing that has been tonight. Reading doesn’t take away the symptoms but it helps me forget them after they appear even for a brief moment.

I think I’ll get back to reading. Have a goodnight. Peace Out, World!!!

Midnight Ramblings

Hello, World!!! I have trouble comprehending why I have such a difficult time at night. Not just with sleep but with the symptoms of anxiety and depression. I am struggling a little bit with depression and anxiety relating to PTSD. Dealing with symptoms this time of night when your natural supports are unavailable for whatever reason can be difficult and challenging for me.

As challenging as it is for me right now, I know what I can do to help myself. I can turn to my coping skills. Coping skills that have helped me a great deal throughout my recovery. Coping skills that will continue to help me even in this moment in time.

One of the things I will do is color. As any type of art has helped me a great deal. In fact I’ll probably end doing some collaging as well because it helps me put words to my emotions.

Another thing I will be doing is a mindfulness and meditation practice as this helps quiet my mind. It puts me in a better head space. A head space that is at least in neutral gear.

Thanks for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

An Emergency Room (E.R) Post

Good Morning, World!!! As I type this post, I am sitting in the emergency room (E.R) in pain and typing with one hand as I hit a brick wall. I hit a brick wall because I was feeling high anxiety as well as fear. I was feeling his way because of PTSD symptoms. PTSD symptoms that were and are quite overwhelming.

Symptoms that I will be discussing with my therapist today when I see him. I’ll also be discussing my self harm actions. Actions that need to be discussed as I didn’t reach out to anybody when I first had urges to self harm this morning.

I did attempt to use my DBT skills. First of all I blogged. After posting my last post I ended up reading my book. Both blogging and reading helped but I obviously needed to reach out to somebody and/or needed to use more skills so I wouldn’t have punched a brick wall.

I should get going as I am in the emergency room getting my hand looked at. I’ll post again later. Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World