Tag Archives: Recovery

Middle of the Night Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am unable to sleep once again and I am watching late night television. Comedy and humor appears to be of help when I am unable to sleep and/or struggling. At this moment in time I am watching due to the fact that I am unable to sleep.

I think if I continue to not be able to sleep properly tonight that I am going to work on my Self Awareness Workbook that I got from Amazon on Tuesday. I started it when I got it and it already appears to be challenging. Challenging is a good thing for a work book. I feel like if it doesn’t challenge you to a degree then it is something that doesn’t need to be worked on.

I’m also going be reading tonight. As I have mentioned in previous posts, reading helps me a great deal. It helps by getting me out of my head even if its only for a half an hour. Plus it gets me to use my imagination.

Thank you for reading. Goodnight!!! Peace Out, World!!!

 

Got Sleep?

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I haven’t been able to sleep all night and it is 4:30 in the morning in my corner of the world. I want to blame the nap I took yesterday afternoon but I know that is not the case. Some of it has to do with insomnia while some of it has to do with me reading.

I spent most of the night reading as I didn’t really want to put down the book I am reading nor the Wonder Woman comics I was reading. If I can’t sleep I might as well as do something that will stimulate my mind and help me distract myself to get me out of my own head.

I also ended up doing some workbooks that I have been doing. I might as well as focus a little bit on my recovery if I am unable to sleep. It’s my way of being productive since I am not working at the moment.

Thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Nap + Dinner = Better Mood

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I’m in a slightly better mood than I was when I posted my last post. I owe it to being able to sleep due to taking a nap and eating dinner. Sleep and food always equals a better mood or at least it is for me. I had boxed mac and cheese for dinner. Not the best meal but hey it is comfort food. Comfort food is always a good thing.

I got my order from Amazon today. I got a cross-stitch pattern that I’ve been wanting to do. I am teaching myself to cross-stitch. I have found that is has been helpful when I’ve done a cross-stitch pattern before. So why not get back into it and continue to teach myself to cross-stitch.

Another thing I got from Amazon was yet another workbook. For me being able to help myself with my recovery is very satisfying. Yes, I still get professional help but being able to help myself is a good feeling.

Thanks for reading. It is very much appreciated from my end. Peace Out, World!!!

Not Liking Being Bullied

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! I am sitting here at my laptop frustrated with what is going on in a situation I rather not get into yet have to accept the reality that the person is going to get a way with shit. Long story short I am being bullied by another client at the mental health agency I go to and unfortunately, staff “can’t do anything about it” because they “haven’t witnessed it.” Same shit I experienced as a kid in school is now happening as an adult seeking treatment.

On a plus note members of my treatment team have witnessed some of the bullying regarding my gender identity and sexual orientation. They have seen enough that this individual was asked to not interact with me and was “barred” for two days for his bullying.

I am just frustrated with the fact of the shit this individual gets away with due to staff not being a witness. Some of the shit is disrespecting my pronouns. I just have to find a way to not be reactive to this. It’s my responsibility on how I don’t get reactive so he doesn’t get a rise out of me.

My response or reaction to others is something I will be working with the members of my treatment team. Hopefully, I can just learn to let go of things such as how I respond or react to things such as bullies.

Thank you for reading. Have a great day. Peace Out, World!!!!

Tuesday Morning Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I still haven’t slept and feel tired enough that I could sleep. The problem with going to sleep now is that it is nine in the morning my time and my sleep pattern would get even more messed up than it is already.

As frustrated as I am with the lack of sleep I am beyond grateful that I have the DBT skills to help me through. Skills that have helped on several occasions throughout the years.

One of the skills I do is to read. I love reading for a multiple reasons. It distracts me. It gets me out of my head. It gets me away from my laptop and television. Reading has been quite helpful.

Thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

No Sleep In Seattle

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is 5:30 in the morning in my part of the world. I still haven’t been able to get to sleep which is quite annoying for me.

I have spent most of the night working on my workbooks. Workbooks that deals with my gender identity as well as a workbook dealing with mindfulness. Both workbooks are quite helpful to me. I like the fact that I can do workbooks as part of my recovery process. Some folks look down on doing workbooks as part of ones recovery and in a way I understand however I don’t supplement it for therapy as I go to therapy on the regular basis. I am just grateful that I am able use the workbooks to assist with my recovery. I actually discuss what I do in the workbooks with my therapist. In fact most workbooks actually suggest that you do so.

Thank you for reading. Have a great day. Peace Out, World!!!

 

Sleepless in Seattle

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am having trouble sleeping once again. Insomnia sucks shit. I think part of it has to do with a recent trauma I experienced however insomnia is nothing new for me.

I think I am going to do one of my workbooks. I just don’t know which one I want do after I am done blogging. I don’t know if I should do the one on Mindfulness or the one about Resiliency and Gender Identity/Sexual Orientation. Both would be quite helpful to me at the moment. I think I’m going to flip a coin for this one and choose that way.

Thank you so much for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Plans

Posted on by Gertie

Sunday

  • Blog
  • Art
  • Read
  • DBT homework
  • Pretty much be lazy

Monday

  • Blog
  • Art group
  • See case manager
  • Workbooks
  • DBT homework

Tuesday

  • Blog
  • Household chores
  • DBT homework
  • Workbooks
  • Pretty much an adulting type day

Wednesday

  • Blog
  • Therapy
  • Mental health clubhouse March birthday celebration
  • Read
  • Art
  • DBT Homework
  • Workbooks

Thursday

  • Blog
  • Workbooks
  • DBT homework
  • Read
  • Art

Friday

  • Blog
  • DBT Group
  • Therapy
  • Workbooks
  • Read

Saturday

  • Blog
  • Lunch with friends at Red Robin
  • Volunteer

Saturday Night Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! I am sitting here wishing I could be in a different head space that I have been in for the last year and a half. All I want in this world is to be back to doing well. I can’t help but think something better is coming my way. I just want some type of breakthrough with whatever the fuck is going on with the continued symptoms that appear to not be subsiding. I just cant lose hope. Hope is the essential to a persons recovery.

As part of my recovery I need to create some structure to help me and this is something that I feel like my treatment team is failing at but I share the responsibility as I am the one the is responsible for my daily life not my treatment team. I’ve learned that personal responsibility in my recovery is something that no matter how a person is doing symptom wise people respect you. I just need to take personal responsibility in make sure things don’t get worse.

One way I do that is doing Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) skills. Skills that have been quite helpful for me over the years. If I do my DBT homework I know that I will be able to do my skills.

I think after doing DBT homework, I’ll do some art. Specifically, painting and collaging. Art helps me express my emotions in a way I am unable to do so in other ways.

Thank you for reading. Have a wonderful night. Peace Out, world!!!

Weekly Check-In

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I realized that I didn’t do my weekly check for last week however I know what got in the way and will work on to make sure things don’t get in the way again. Yes, I realize life happens when I won’t be able to blog at time but I know what got in the way and will do may very best to let it not get in the way again.

My birthday was on Wednesday and I went into hang out at the mental health clubhouse before my appointment with Gilbert. Well, I let my emotions get the better of me and had an emotional outburst directed toward another client. A client that was being quite discriminatory toward my gender identity and sexual orientation. This person kept using the wrong pronouns toward me as well. Unfortunately, my emotions got the better of me and I started screaming and yelling at the individual after this person to leave me alone after being asked several times. I got barred for two days and I think it should have been longer. The other individual in the incident got a two day bar as well however it started a day after mine started.

I’m not happy with my behavior and have amped up my mindfulness practice as I feel it will help me. Help me regulate to regulate the emotions that get the best of me. Mindfulness has always helped me regulate my emotions.

Thanks for reading. Peace Out, World!!