Tag Archives: Seattle

Just Read if You Want to Know What I Said

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I have a lot to catch you up on as a great deal has happened since I last posted. Let’s start with the employment part of my life or should I say the job seeker part of my life at the moment. Yes, I am still employed as an on call shelter counselor however it is not a job I want to be at for forever and a day. That means I have been sending out my resume’s to various places especially those who have Peer Specialist/Counselor jobs. I got call this past Tuesday from the HR person from the agency I am client of asking if I wanted an interview for one of the peer positions and I stated yes. So, I had an interview yesterday (Wednesday) and I don’t think it went all that well. I am not holding my breath on getting this position as I am a client of the agency that gave me the interview. I think it is best for all involved that I have low expectations in getting this job due to not being disappointed if I don’t get it. My employment specialist informed me that from her understanding with talking with one of the interviewers, I did a really good job at the interview and am on the bottom of the short list only because I am a client and I informed my employment specialist that I am okay with that as I understand the ethical conflict of the situation.

Other than the interview yesterday (Wednesday) and working Sunday night into Monday morning, I have not done much of anything but go see my therapist and employment specialist this past Tuesday. Mainly because it has been snowing outside and today was the first day the roads and sidewalks were decent enough to do anything. Sadly, the weather is not going to get better like it was today. Tomorrow (Friday), it suppose to start snowing again in the Seattle area. A good portion of folks that live in the Seattle area don’t do well in the snow, myself include. I really am not a big fan of the cold and snow. But I am one to say if it is cold enough to snow it might as well as snow.

Due to the snow storm that is suppose to happen this weekend I plan on not doing much of anything but hanging out at home with my cat, Lil Gertie. I figure this will be the perfect time to settle in and start on the workbook “The Artist Way” that I was telling you about a few post ago. In fact I am still assuming that it has you do art type things due to the title but I have read a little bit of the introduction and part of it requires you to do some journaling everyday which could be challenging to do daily but I am to doing it. Most of me is looking forward to it however some of me is sort of fearful of it as I am afraid of the things it will bring up. Whatever it brings up, I have a good support system in place to help me as well as my cat, Lil Gertie. In fact I am looking forward to hibernating here at home in the snowy cold weather with my cat, Lil Gertie. I don’t think there is a better way of spending wintry weather than spending it with my cat, Lil Gertie.

I do not have much more to say in this post. I do hope to post some time later tonight or tomorrow. I will keep you updated on the snowy weather here in Seattle. Thank you very much for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a goodnight. Peace Out, World!!!

A Workplace Post

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! As I type this post, I am at work. I am bored half out of my mind and freezing but at least I have someone to keep me company as the shelter guest sleep. I am an On-Call Shelter Counselor at a young adult shelter here in Seattle and love my job for the most part. I really don’t like being on-call but hey, its a job. As I mentioned earlier I have someone to keep me company as I am training someone. I didn’t know I was training this person till I arrived to work. I am just shocked that my supervisor is having me train the new person as I am only an on-call person and don’t work very often. In fact the last time I took a shift was back in late November. The new person appears to be cool and has connected well with some of the shelter guest which is awesome.

In all honesty I would rather be at home in my own bed asleep at the moment. I am not tired at this moment in time as I slept really well during the day on Sunday as I knew I had to work a shift. I just don’t like when my sleep schedule gets all fucked up as I already have trouble sleeping.

Another reason why I was at home is primarily because of the weather. It is currently snowing in Seattle. I highly dislike the snow. I am not sure why but I have a few idea but won’t share them with you as I do not want to bore you. I not only don’t like the snow, I don’t like the cold weather. It is suppose to get windy and heavier snow later today (Monday) which sucks shit.

As much as I don’t like the news about windy, snowy weather for today (Monday), I am looking forward to hopefully hearing back from my employment specialist and/or the hiring manager of the peer job I applied for to see if I get an interview in the next week or two. I say this because I want and need a job that has a more stable schedule. Having a job that is only on-call sucks but I am grateful to have a job.

I do not have much more to say in this particular post. I hope to post later on today when I am off work and well rested after working a twelve hour shift at night. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. Peace Out, World!!!

No Sleep In Seattle

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! As expected, I am unable to sleep. I expected that I would not be able to sleep tonight due to sleeping a great deal for about three days due depression related to grief. Grief related to my grandma’s passing away on Valentines Day of last year (2018). It is hard to believe that in a little over three weeks it will be a year since my grandma passed away.

Since I am unable to sleep, I am listening to music. Specifically, I am listening to Sleater-Kinney. They are a great local band from the Seattle area. They are actually, if I am not mistaken from the Olympia / Lacey area of Washington. I tend to favor local musicians from where I live as well as where I grew up as I tend to relate to them a bit more than other musicians.

Another thing I have been doing tonight is reading. I started reading “Lost Boys” by Orson Scott Card. I really like him as an author as I have read other books he has written. I thought I would give this book a try. I usually only read book series but thought I would read a stand alone book. Reading is a great distraction from the reality I am facing.

In fact both reading and music are great distraction from the reality I am facing in regards to dealing with my grandma’s death. Yes, it has been nearly a year since she passed away but she was a motherly figure to me. She helped raise me.

I don’t have much more to say. I will try to blog again later on today. I hope I can get some sleep so I am not a cranky bucket. I hope everyone has a great Monday. Enjoy you week everyone. Peace Out, World!!!

Welcome To 2019

Posted on by Gertie

Happy New Years, World!!! It is hard to believe that it is 2019 in most of the world including my neck of the woods. I spent the New Years looking out my window toward the Space Needle as fireworks shot off of it. I don’t live near the Space Needle but I am still able to see it from my apartment. My cat didn’t freak out as much as she did when the Fourth of July fireworks went off over Lake Union and no I don’t live near Lake Union either but can still see it from my apartment. Anyway, I brought in the New Year with Lil Gertie and am grateful that I was able to bring it in with her.

Since I am talking about my cat, Lil Gertie, I can’t help but wonder where she was and what she was doing last year at this time. I try not to think about it very much but I hope she was happy and safe. I just hope that she is happy living with as this year starts. I know I am happy to have her.

It is hard to believe that last year at this time, I had absolutely NO hope at all. Having no hope left me extremely suicidal to where I ended up in the psych ward on the second day of the year. Now, I can say that this year I have no hope and that I won’t end up in the psych ward on the second day of the New Year. So, this year as started so much better than last year. I am so grateful that I am so much more hopeful this year than I was last year.

So, I as I sit here blogging, I am drinking some sparking apple cider thinking about the triumphs and trials of last year and what this year is going to bring. I know that when Valentines Day comes around this year that it will be difficult as it will mark the one year anniversary of my grandma’s passing away. Yes, it will be hard but I know that a few weeks later I will be celebrating my 40th birthday. Something I didn’t think will happen because I thought that I would have died by suicide. But thankfully, I am going to make it to my 40th birthday. So yes, I know I will have tough moments but I will also have some awesome moments as well.

I do not have much more to say in this post. I just want to thank you all for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. You are all awesome. I hope all  of you continue to read my blog well into the New Year. Again, thank you for reading my blog. I hope everyone has has an awesome New Year and that 2019 brings you some joy as well as some hope. I also hope this you brings you what you want and what you need. Happy New Years, World!!!

Good Things In Therapy + Whining About 911 Outage

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! As many of you know who live in the United States there was a 911 outage due in most of the nation due to a network problem with Century Link. I am a Century Link customer for my land line and internet service and am grateful that my phone line and internet was not interrupted and have only had one issue with them in eighteen years of service. But for me a customer service issue is far different than a 911 outage and the 911 outage has me livid as hell. I won’t change companies because of the outage but have 911 go out in one city much less much of a nation is NEVER a good thing as people lives are at stake.

The worst part about the 911 outage is that the fire alarm system went off in my apartment building twice due to neighbors burning food and both time it didn’t alert the fire department. The alternative numbers that were given to us were busy so some of us, including myself, walked to the closet fire station which is only seven blocks away to let them know. The battalion chief was grateful for me and my neighbor for letting them know about the alarm system going off both times and the back up number not working both time. She even called “the powers at be” to let them know about the back up emergency numbers were not working.

I know that most of the 911 outages are taken care of here in Washington but it is still affecting parts of Seattle. It is effecting my neighborhood in Seattle which sucks. But at least the state and county are at least keeping people updated.

Now on to my session with my therapist today. We discussed what happened to my dad with his seizures as well as my mom overdosing on Heroin and how I able to not be in crisis myself after such a stressful holiday. He stated “with all the family crisis’s going on and the grief of your grandma, I am proud of you that you didn’t let you it put you into a crisis. You deserve to be proud of yourself.” We discussed how well I have been doing and that not calling the crisis team of the holidays shows major improvement in my recovery. Which is true. Even when I was doing extremely well, I had to call the crisis team at least once over the holidays and this year was the first time in over a decade that I didn’t have to.

I don’t have much more to say except that I have a great therapist. A therapist that is awesome. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend. Happy Friday!!!  Peace Out, World!!!

Christmas Eve Grief & Depression

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, once again, World!!! It is still Christmas Eve and I still have not been able to sleep. The lack of sleep that is not helping with the emotions I am dealing with at the moment. Emotions I would rather not be dealing with at the moment.

Today, I will be celebrating Christmas with my dads side of the family and it happens to be the first Christmas without my grandma. I am dealing with the grief and sadness that goes along with it. Despite dealing with the difficult emotions of dealing with the first holiday without my grandma, I am looking forward to spending time with my dads side of my family.

I am however am dreading later this evening and tomorrow as I will be spending it with my mom’s side of the family. Sadly, my brother won’t be there as he will be spending the holiday with his dad. I am not looking forward to spending Christmas with my mom due to her being in active addiction.

Despite all of this my depression is acting up which sucks shit but it feels and looks like a typical Seattle Christmas minus the rain which is a good thing. I am not a big fan of rain but it wouldn’t be Christmas in the Northwest without rain so maybe we will get rain. Just as long as we don’t get snow, I will be okay with it as we had a white Christmas last year. The grey dreary Seattle weather fits my mood of being depressed. I hope that I somehow my spirits will be lifted some how and not by alcohol.

I am just really tired and hope I am able to take a nap at some point today. The lack of sleep sure is not helping my mood or my negative emotions. Sleep is crucial to having improved mental health symptoms or at least it does for me.

I better be going. I need to take a shower and eat small breakfast. I also need to pack some last minute things for my trip to my moms after I spend Christmas Eve with my dads side of the family. I hope that those of you who celebrate Christmas have a great holiday. Peace Out, World!!!

Sleepless In Seattle

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is just after four in the morning in my corner of the world and I have not slept a wink all night. It is kind of frustrating as I will be celebrating Christmas with my dads side of the family today and then head off to my moms later this evening. I just don’t want to be a cranky bucket for anyone in my family.

I most definitely don’t want to be a cranky bucket when I am at mom’s as she and my uncle want me to go to the midnight church service with them to bring in Christmas. I don’t consider myself Christian but if my mom wants me to go to church as part of her Christmas gift from me to here I might as well. It won’t hurt me going just this once.

In fact I have been looking into Buddhism for awhile now and am going to start attending a Buddhist temple in the new year. Or at least that is my goal at the moment. I know Buddhism and Christianity don’t go hand and hand but I can respect other people’s religion. My mom doesn’t like the fact that I have been looking into Buddhism which is why I think she want me to go to church as part as my gift to her.

I best be going. I am hoping to at least get some sleep in. I hope everyone has a good holiday if you celebrate Christmas. Thank you for reading my blog. It is much appreciated. Peace Out, World!!!

Missed Most of the First Half of the Seahawk Game

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I am little pissed off at the moment. I missed most of the first half of the Seahawk game due to the fact that someone decided to cook food and catch their stove on fire while they shot up heroin. If someone wants to shoot up drugs, it is their issue however once your addiction affects me I will have an issue with it. But I also know that addiction is hell and nobody wants to be living in addiction.

Since the person was extremely high and unaware their food caught the stove on fire, the fire alarm was set off which means the fire department showed up. Thankfully, my neighbor and everyone else is okay. I am most grateful that my neighbor was not overdosing even though the fire department had my neighbor go to the hospital as a precaution. I am glad that they are going to be okay

Now, I am back to watching the Seahawk game. I hope the Seahawks continue to have the lead and beat the Chiefs. Have a wonderful Sunday evening world and enjoy whatever you are doing at this present moment. Let’s go Seahawks. Here is to hoping the Seahawks win. Peace Out, World!!!

Let’s Go Seahawks

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I realize I posted not to long ago but I just wanted to let you know that I have gotten most of my packing done which is a good thing. I also cleaned my bathroom which always makes me feel much better for some odd reason.

Now I am sitting down with a cup of hot chocolate watching the Seattle Seahawks play against the Kansas City Chiefs here in Seattle. I, of course am rooting for the Seahawks. There is nothing like being in my pajama’s drinking hot chocolate watching some football.

Yes, I know it is barely the first quarter of the game and I just recently posted my last post but blogging is good self care for me as is watching some football. Of course it helps being at home comfortable in pajama’s with hot chocolate and a cuddling cat. I am grateful that most of my packing is done and that my bathroom is clean.

I am going to go and watch the Seahawk game. As of right now the score is Kansas City Chiefs: 0 and Seattle Seahawks: 7 and is barely the first quarter. Let’s go Seahawks!!! I hope everyone has a good holiday and enjoys the rest of their Sunday. Peace Out, World!!!

Fighting Off Depression With Humor

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! I have been up for several hours now and could really use a nap. The problem with taking a nap is if I do take one, I won’t be able to get up in time to go to my volunteer job and will not be able to sleep tonight. The sad thing is I woke up in a very depressive state. A depressive state that is quite concerning for me however if I am able to get through the next few days it is my hope that the depression symptoms with start to subside. I am pretty sure that the grief I am dealing with in regards to the loss of my grandma on Valentines Day of this year (2018) could have a lot to do with the increased symptoms of my depression.

Since I have been fighting off depression and grief I decided to watch the Netflix special that Ellen DeGeneres did and is so happened the show they made into a special was here in Seattle. I wish I was able to attend it in person however I was unable to do so. I am just thrilled that I was able to watch it earlier today on Netflix to help with my mood. Ellen is quite funny and I personally think she is relatable to people or at least she is to me. After watching Ellen’s Netflix special, it was quite helpful in lifting my spirits and not making the decision to call out “sick” for my volunteer job this evening.

Not only did watching the Ellen special on Netflix help me make a good choice to go to my volunteer job tonight but helped to blog about how I am feeling about shit. Shit like the depression and grief I am dealing with at the moment. Blogging seems to help and hope that sharing my story help you my reader some how. Blogging is a great outlet for me just like watching comedy is.

I don’t have much else to say at the moment. So, I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a great weekend. Peace Out, World!!!