Tag Archives: Seattle

No Sleep For Me

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am unable to sleep right now. No matter how much I try, I am unable to sleep. I have taken my sleep meds as well as some Melatonin and neither are working. I am starting to get quite frustrated with not being able to sleep.

Thankfully, I have electricity because it keeps going out due to the windy weather and power lines keep going down. I am grateful for electricity at the moment because I have been watching movies which has been quite helpful to me.

Unfortunately, yet fortunately the electricity would go out due to the windy weather and I then get a battery operated lantern and read. I am reading a book that I keep putting down and picking back but have to reread from the beginning due to forgetting where I left off. I am reading a science fiction / fantasy novel. I love reading

So between reading and movies I have been keeping myself busy. Lil Gertie, appears to be happy that I am awake right now as she is getting a lot attention as she is a night owl. I love my cat so much. She makes my life so much better.

I want to write more but my lights are starting to flicker again so I want to make sure this post gets posted just in case the electricity goes out again. The weather in Seattle the last few days has been yucky to even those who have spent their entire lives in the Seattle area. I just wish it wasn’t so windy.

Again, I really should get going. I hope everyone has a good Friday as it is officially Friday everywhere in America. Before I go, I would like to wish everyone a Blessed Solstice. Have a wonderful weekend everyone. Peace Out, World!!!

 

 

Nothing But Random Sh*t, Once Again

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! Overall, today has been a good day despite some challenging moments. Today, I went to the mental health agency I am a client of as their day treatment was having a holiday lunch. I helped serve lunch which always makes me feel great help other out. Anyway some of the clinicians from the agency even ate with including my own therapist. He said he wouldn’t have come if I didn’t invite him even though the day treatment staff invited all the staff to join. Him saying this made me feel good about myself and that he cares about his clients as will do what he is able to do to help with his clients recovery.

It was nice to see some old faces in day treatment today. Seeing old friends is always a good thing. It was great to catch up with others especially people I haven’t seen a year or two if not longer. The one thing I did not like about today was the bullying that was going on. I am unable to comprehend why people bully others. I did stick up for those who were being bullied and the bully told on me and thankfully other stuck up for me and the bully was asked to leave for the day.

The weather in Seattle today was shitty. There was high winds today on top of the yucky rain. In fact I didn’t have power when I got home from the day treatment holiday lunch. I finally got it back on about an hour ago and my apartment is freezing as I have electric heating so the heaters are on full blast at the moment. I just hope the wind dies down soon. I don’t like yucky weather like today.

I don’t have much else to say. I will post tomorrow or at least that is my plan. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. Have a wonderful rest of your Thursday evening. Peace Out, World!!!

It’s Starting To Feel A Lot Like Christmas In The Northwest

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!!! I am officially finished with all my Christmas shopping which makes me thrilled. I am also half way done wrapping the gifts that I am giving to friends and family for Christmas which is a huge accomplishment for me as last year and the year before, I didn’t even start shopping for my gifts for people till December 23rd. So I am very proud of myself that all my gifts are bought and half of them are already wrapped.

It is starting to feel a lot like Christmas in the Northwest. Anyone who has ever spent the holidays in the Pacific Northwest knows all too well on how special it is here. That is why I love Christmas in Seattle. Granted I do miss Christmas in Southern California from time to time but there is nothing like Christmas in the Northwest.

Despite my grandma no longer here with us this holiday season, I am feeling blessed at the moment. I was able to keep a promise that I made her. The promise was to be the one to create the stockings for everyone and I accomplished that today. I also accomplished making a stocking for one of my friends who has no family as well as a friend of my grandma’s. My grandma and her friend had been friends since they were ten years old. So I mailed the stocking to her today as well as the painting I made her.

I don’t have much else to say except that today was overall a great day. In fact it was better than a great day. It was almost an awesome day. I want to thank you for reading my blog as it is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a great rest of their evening. Peace Out, World!!!

Two O’clock in the Morning Randomness

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is two o’clock in the morning in my corner of the world. I am not able to sleep at the moment. I am unsure why I am unable to sleep however I personally think it is part to insomnia as well PTSD symptoms. Having little to no sleep also does not help with my depression symptoms. All I know is I would like to get some sleep so I am not a cranky bucket.

I might as well as remind you my reader of why there are advertisements on my blog. I have advertisements on my blog to earn some extra money. However I don’t earn the extra money unless you click on to the ad and let it load. So with each little click to the advertisements on my blog earns me a few cents. I know it is not much money but it something. So, I don’t think I will discuss that advertisement thing again for another few weeks as I am sure you don’t want to keep reading about it as I am sure you are not big fans of the advertisements but they do earn me a few extra cents with each click.

Anyways it sounds like the wind is blowing hard and the rain is pounding against my bedroom window. It sounds like there is some nasty weather outside at the moment and it most definitely not the typical Seattle weather for this time of year although it is not unusual for there to be some wind from time to time.  I just hope this nasty goes away by the time the sun rises but I am not holding out hope for it the nastiness to stop.

Enough about the weather here in Seattle lets talk about it being two in the morning in my corner of the world and how Lil Gertie is happy that I am awake. She is happy I am awake because I have been playing with her to help me through the difficult moments I have been have due to not being able to sleep. This is the time of day she is most playful and usually doesn’t expect to play with me as I am in bed but I think she is happy she is able to play since I am up. I love my cat, Lil Gertie, so much. It is hard to believe that in three days from now it will be seven months since I adopted Lil Gertie. I love her so much and can’t imagine life without her right now. Oh yeah before I forget, I order Lil Gertie a new cat carrier as I have been using the box cat carrier I got when I adopted her. I bought it from Amazon last Wednesday and finally it was delivered last Friday. She still doesn’t like being in the carrier but she hasn’t fought going into it when I have but her in it and she has meowed when she has been in it. I have been putting Lil Gertie into the new carrier so she can get use to it and not so afraid of it. I keep her in it for no more than ten minutes to see how she reacts and no I don’t keep her in the carrier when I am not home. I keep the side entrance of the carrier open and down so she could go in and out of it if she wants. She has gone in it to sniff and quickly came out but hopefully she will know it is a safe place for her so when I do have to take her somewhere, it won’t put her in more stress. The last thing I want is to put Lil Gertie in stress out mode.

I think I am going to get going as I am wanting to attempt to get some sleep tonight. Hopefully insomnia gives me a break and that my anxiety, depression and PTSD symptoms continue to lessen so I can get some sleep. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. You guys are all awesome!!! Peace Out, World!!!

Yucky Weather + Depression = Desire to Isolate

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I didn’t get much sleep last night but I did get more than the night before. Getting sleep is key to helping the symptoms of the mental health challenges I face. Yes, I may have gotten slightly more sleep last night and it is helping my mood just in the slightest, I just don’t think it is exactly enough to help beat off the depression symptoms.

I don’t think it is enough to be off the depression symptoms because it is the time of year they get worse and well the typical yucky Seattle weather ain’t helping much. In fact the weather today, I think is making the symptoms a little bit worse. Worse in a sense that I am wanting to isolate. Part of is cause of the weather while the other part is due to the depression symptoms which both really suck today.

As much as I want to isolate today, I am unable to do so because I have two appointments today. One with my therapist which is much need and the other is with my employment specialist. I really need my therapy today even though I really do not want to go, mainly because of my depressive symptoms and a little to do with the yucky Seattle weather. No matter how I feel, I need to attend both appointments today due it will ultimately help my recovery. All I can say is the depression suck shit.

I don’t have much else to say in this post so I think I am going to end it for now. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciate it from my end of things as well as from the bottom of my heart. Again, thank you for reading my blog. I hope everyone enjoys their day. Peace Out, World!!!

Spending Day With Grandpa

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! I am spending the day with my grandpa to help take care of him as he recovers from knee surgery. He is moving around okay but not well enough to be left alone for more than a few hours as the doctor wants to make sure his knee heals up well. My uncles couldn’t take care of him today because one is currently working while the other is currently sleeping because he works a twelve hour shift tonight so this where I come into taking care of him. Basically taking care of him is getting doing small stuff around the house so he is not using his knee to much.

Right now the both of us are watching the Seattle Seahawks play against the San Francisco 49ers play in Seattle. I am wearing my Seahawk sweatshirt and my 49er hat. Yes, I am a fan of both teams. It is a long story that I might share with you at a later date. But once you know the story, you will understand a bit more of why I like two rival teams. Right now the score is Seahawks 27 and 49ers 10.

I don’t have much more to say in this post. I hope everyone has a great rest of their Sunday. Happy Hanukkah to those who celebrate Hanukkah. Again, thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

It Feels Like A Monday Because It is A Monday

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It sure feels like a Monday. Yes, I realize it is Monday but it most definitely feels like Monday. It feels like a Manic Monday because of all the shit I have had to do today.

First I had to attend an appointment for my housing. It is for my annual review to continue on getting subsides housing. My rent is going up starting in February because of my job but I am okay with that.

Something else I had to do in regards to my job is fill out paper work for Social Security. I also had to send them my pay stubs. I really dislike paper work but I rather fill out the paper work and send in pay stubs than owe Social Security money.

As much as I hate paperwork I am glad I got it done for both my housing and my social security. As far as my job is concerned I am looking for a new one as being on call for a night shift is not exactly best for me and my mental health. I plan on actively looking now and start applying in hopes I can start in the New Year.

I also went out in the crappy Seattle weather to go get my meds. I wish I didn’t have to get my meds on the weekly basis but I do. The weather in Seattle sucks today. It has been raining and extremely windy. I just wish it was normal Seattle yucky weather which is overcast, cold and drizzly.

I don’t have much else to say. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is very much appreciated. I hope to post again sometime tomorrow to tell you how my doctors and therapy appointments went. Peace Out, World!!!

The Sh*t That Is On My Mind

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It has been a few days since I last posted. I have attempted to post but hit road blocks and writers block along the way. So today, I am saying fuck it to both the road blocks and writers block and just write what I am thinking at the moment. Yes, it is a scary thought. Yes, I will be writing what I am exactly at the moment. Yes, it might not make sense.

Right now I am dealing with some fucking anger. Anger over the mass shooting in California. Why in the hell is this shit still fucking happening? Why is the media blaming mental health challenges, yet again on the mass shooting? Why are people on social media sites doing the same thing? Seriously, people who have a mental health challenge are more likely to be the victim of a violent crime than a perpetrator of one. Why can’t mainstream media share that?

Okay, if you are a regular reader, you know I live in Seattle, Washington. Anyway a couple of initiatives recently passed here in Washington. One was for better gun control. I personally had mixed feelings on this initiative because of possible HIPPA violations. I would have voted for it if it weren’t for the HIPPA violations. I am all for common sense gun control but when it violates a persons medical privacy then its an issue for me. Another initiative  that passed and I voted for is better and more training for police officers in regards to people who are in a mental health crisis. I don’t understand why people have an issue over more training for police officers. Hell, I personally think any type of training for any career is a good thing.

I am having some high anxiety right now. I haven’t had therapy last week or this week due to my therapist being out sick. I can’t help but think this is going to be another repeat of what happened when Diana left unexpectedly two years ago due to a cancer diagnosis. I feel like I am have very similar conversations with the on call clinicians that I had two years ago as I “have no evidence” that my therapist wont be coming back which is true but when its happened before you tend to worry and be anxious about such things. I just don’t need another change in my mental health care. I hope my therapist gets better and does come back but I’m not holding my breath at the moment. I don’t think the clinicians I’ve talked to over the last two week really understand the fear I am having right now especially with having a new job and the holidays coming up.

Thanks for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. I hope everyone has a great weekend ahead. I am grateful for each one of you who read my blog. Again, thank you for reading. Have a wonderful evening as well as a good weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

Midnight Madness & Randomness

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is officially twelve midnight in my corner of the world. I am tired as hell and personally, I probably could fall asleep now but I am attempting to stay awake all night as I have to work Thursday night from 8:00 pm to Friday morning at 8:00 am. I am attempting to stay awake all night since I have to be awake all night Thursday night so I can sleep all day on Thursday.

I watched the eleven o’clock news as I posted my last post. There was really nothing really good in the news which is normal. I guess according to the weather person, it is suppose to rain tonight and tomorrow which is typical for Seattle. It just hasn’t really been rainy which is unusual for this time of year in Seattle.

Right now, besides blogging, I am watching television. I am watch late night television. Once the late night television is done, I will then binge watch television or movies on Hulu and/or Netflix. Not sure exactly what I will watch. I just know I need to stay awake as long as possible so I can sleep during the day since I work a twelve hour night shift on Thursday night.

Well, as a reminder that might be quite annoying to you. I would really like you my reader to click on to the advertisements that are on my blog. Every time an advertisement is clicked on and fully loaded, I get money. I earn as little as a few cents and as much as few dollars per click of an ad. So please do me a favor and click on an ad or two at least once if not twice a week if you read my blog that often. I want the extra money to pay for gifts for my friends and family for the holiday season. Yes, I know its only October but I like to make sure the gifts I give are special to my loved ones.

Thank you so much for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. I hope everyone has a great night. I hope that if you live in the United States or Canada that you having a good nights sleep. Again, thank you for reading. Good night, once again. Peace Out, World!!!

6:30 am Monday Morning Madness

Posted on by Gertie

Good Monday, Morning To You, World!!! I should have written this post last night after I got home from the hospital but decided to wait till today to do so. I had a not so delightful time at the hospital as I waited to get evaluated for psych reasons. Thankfully, I was put into a hallway bed without needing to be restrained as the folks at this hospital know me well enough to know what to do when needed. And in my case a hallway bed without restraints is what I needed. Of course the doctors and nurses saw me however has I waited for the social worker to come see me another patient assaulted me. The hospital staff was in the middle of evaluating him when he got angry, left his room and grabbed my wrist and twisted hard enough to bruise my wrist and my hand. Thankfully, nothing is broken. He also gave me a black eye. Needless to say this person was put into restraints. The doctors had to come evaluate me once again before I could see the social worker because I needed to be medically cleared once again. I finally got home about 10:00 pm last night and would have been home sooner if I wasn’t assaulted by another patient.

Now that it is Monday morning let the madness begin. The madness started off with the fire alarm going off at 2:34 am due to a malfunction. Then it went off again at 3:33 am due to another malfunction. it went of a third time at 5:09 am due to an actual fire in someone’s apartment. Someone decided to start cooking and while cooking they decided to do some heroin. Not my idea of starting of any day much less a work week.

On that note, it is another foggy morning in Seattle. I don’t know why but I like foggy mornings. It gives me some sort of peace. It also gives me an excuse to stay in my pajamas longer as I read the news paper at a leisure pace while drinking my hot tea with milk and honey in it.

Since I don’t have work tonight, to my knowledge, I think I am going to take it easy today. My therapist doesn’t get back from vacation till this afternoon or at least that’s what his voicemail says. It says he will be in this afternoon which is good because I left him an email informing him of what happened yesterday at the hospital.

Thank you for reading my blog. It is very much appreciated. I hope everyone has a good work week and if you don’t work, I how you still have a good week. Happy Monday to all of you. Peace Out, World!!!!