Anxiety That Won’t Go Away

Good Evening, World!!! As I mentioned in an earlier post I didn’t see my therapist today for our session due to anxiety. We did reschedule our appointment for Thursday. He has checked up on me twice today to make I am doing okay. Yes, I am doing okay. Or better than I was.

Better than I was earlier especially since my budget is better than I thought it was going to be. I forgot to include my tax refund I got in my budget.

Even though I had anxiety over my budget my therapist and I figured out that I was having anxiety due to PTSD symptoms. Symptoms that don’t help with my general anxiety symptoms. Symptoms I wish were subsiding but they are not so much.

Thank you so much for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Still High Anxiety

Good Afternoon, World!!! I missed therapy today due to the fact my anxiety was too high. My therapist did check-in with me and we discussed my anxiety. We figured out that part of my anxiety was due to the PTSD. We also found that the last time my anxiety was this bad was over a year ago and is major improvement. I love it when there is a silver lining in things.

Besides dealing with anxiety, I have figured out some things about my money situation. Figuring out the money situation is a huge relief for me. Knowing that I have things in place as a just in case is a huge relief.

I think I am going to call some friends and see if they want to hang out. Maybe go and have a late lunch or something. Most of my friends tend to love to eat.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

A High Anxiety Monday

Hello, World!!! I am struggling so much with anxiety that I am unable to make it to my therapy appointment. I am not sure why my anxiety is acting up so badly but it is. It hasn’t acted up so badly to where I am unable to make it to an appointment especially therapy. Just as long as it is not this bad tomorrow I’ll be okay.

I say just as long as it is not this bad tomorrow, I’ll be okay because I have a job interview tomorrow. It is job I really want and one I think I would be good at. That is why I hope my anxiety isn’t this high tomorrow.

I found out this morning that it could take up to three weeks to find out how much I made from the advertisements on my blog. That means at least another month with them. Depending how much I make all depends if I keep them. I may not keep them as I don’t like them but I need the extra money.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Plans

Sunday

  • Blog
  • Clean apartment
  • Art
  • Workbooks

Monday

  • Blog
  • Therapy
  • Speaking engagement
  • Workbooks

Tuesday

  • Blog
  • Job interview
  • Art
  • Workbooks

Wednesday

  • Blog
  • Art
  • Workbooks

Thursday

  • Blog
  • Day treatment
  • Art
  • Workbooks

Friday

  • Blog
  • Art
  • Workbooks
  • Baseball game

Saturday

  • Blog
  • Art
  • Workbook
  • Baseball game

Daily Check-Ins + Homework = Good Therapist

Good Afternoon, World!!! My therapist checked in with me to see how I am doing after my self harm act last night. He is now putting me on daily check ins as a precaution. They don’t have to be in person but he is concerned about me and rightfully so.

Besides the daily check-ins he will be giving me daily assignments to do. So we will be discussing my assignments in our regular sessions. Which I am planning on doing. One of the assignments he wants me to do is paint a picture of how I am feeling today. He also want me to write a paper on it as well. I like this type of homework.

My therapist wants me to use the skill’s that I do on the normal basis as part of my homework. Like the painting and the writing . I am looking forward to doing this .

Thank  you for reading my weird blog right now. Peace Out, World!!!

So Far a Busy Tuesday

Good Afternoon, World!!! It is early Tuesday afternoon and so far I have done a lot today. One of the first things I did today was work of my mindfulness workbook. I started the first chapter which is on Fear and Mindfulness. I didn’t finish the chapter as I had to get go to get to my therapy appointment on time.

I showed my therapist the coping skills box I made per his suggestion. I also share the paper I wrote. He was impressed by both the box and the paper. More so that I was willing to do both. He now realizes that therapy homework will be beneficial to me and will think of assignments for me to do starting next week.

Another thing that happened today was that I found out that I have a job interview at a community mental health agency for a peer position next Tuesday. This will be a part time job which would be so much better for me than a full time job. I hope I get the job I am interviewing for next Tuesday.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

 

Weekly Plans

Sunday

  • Blog
  • Mindfulness
  • Read
  • Workbooks
  • Be lazy

Monday

  • Blog
  • Mindfulness
  • Read
  • Workbooks
  • Day treatment
  • Check in with therapist
  • Art Group

Tuesday

  • Blog
  • Mindfulness
  • Day treatment
  • Therapy
  • Read
  • Workbooks

Wednesday

  • Blog
  • Mindfulness
  • Day treatment
  • Appointment to find out about new recovery model at mental health agency
  • Read
  • Workbooks

Thursday

  • Blog
  • Mindfulness
  • Read
  • Workbooks

Friday

  • Blog
  • Mindfulness
  • Day treatment
  • Read
  • Workbooks

Saturday

  • Refer to Sunday.
  • Just be lazy.

Weekly Check-In

Good Evening, World!!! It has been an uneventful week. I do have to say as difficult as therapy is, I am grateful for the suggested homework my therapist gave me this week. My therapist suggested I make a coping skills box and have it be an art project for me so I did. I got a shoe box and decorated it. I had fun making it. I am looking forward to showing it to my therapist.

Something else that I did this week is read. I have been reading a great deal. It has been quite helpful for me to be reading. I am hoping to finish my book soon.

Like I said, I had an uneventful week. Thank you for reading. Peace Out, Word!!!

Therapy + Comics = Good Session

Good Afternoon, World!!! I realize I already told you little about my session today with my therapist in my last post (https://gertiesjourney.com/2018/04/17/thankfully-not-hospitalized/) but I would like to share a little more about it as I think it helped my therapist build a rapport with me. Besides talking about my parents and their addictions we discussed comics. We discussed comics because I wore a Wonder Woman t-shirt and hat today. I told my therapist that I collect Wonder Woman comics and then we ended up talking about comic book universes. My therapist is more into Marvel and I am more into DC even though we both like a little of both universes. My therapist asked if reading comics was in my crisis plan and something I do end stead of self harming and I said yes to both. We discussed how comics have played a major role in my recovery and he assigned me to read one comic book a day as part of some homework. Another part of my homework he wants me to create a coping skills tool box out of a shoe box even though I more or less have my backpack full of coping skills I use. He even gave me a shoe box to start it. He is having me do this because he knows I enjoy doing art and to help me think about my coping skills. He also wants me to write a page on how making the coping skills box made me feel and what my experience was making it.

I am grateful that my new therapist is coming up with creative ways to help me help myself. I may not like having therapy homework but I am grateful to have it as it gives me an opportunity to grow and continue with my recovery.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Thankfully, Not Hospitalized

Hello, World!!! There was an hour or two where I thought I could be hospitalized due to hitting a brick wall with my hand and thankfully it is NOT going to happen. Everyone was in agreement with me that the hospital would not be beneficial to me this time around. So, with everyone in agreement, I am not going to be admitted to the hospital.

My therapist and I discussed my self harm actions this morning and did what is called a chain analysis. If you’re familiar with Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) then you know what I am talking about. It is hard for me to describe what one is but it is extremely helpful. My therapist and I also discussed my family. Specifically, my parents and their addictions to drug and alcohol. My dad is in active recovery while my mom is not in recovery whatsoever. We talked about how I learned from their mistakes and chose not to drink or use drugs. I told my therapist that I don’t need more issues on top of the ones I already have.

I’ll write more later. I am just really tired and in pain from hitting a brick wall. Thank you so very much for reading. It is very much appreciated. Peace Out, World!!!