Anxiety Increasing as Tomorrow Gets Closer

Hello, World!!! My anxiety is increasing as tomorrow gets closer. Even though I’ve had my first week of work it was mostly done remotely or in person with the HR and IT departments which is at different location that I will be working at. See tomorrow in my first day at my job site and I am nervous as fucking hell. I know it is okay to be nervous but not just anxious about my first day at my job site.

I am nervous about having to take public transportation again. The last two years I’ve been either working from home or taking Lyft to and from work due to Covid-19 as I was trying to limit the amount of exposure I could get. I’m not so worried about the exposure as much due to having the vaccine, the booster and actually being diagnosed with Covid-19 the day after I got the booster. Covid suck shit and I know there is a possibility of getting it again but that is not why I’m worried about using public transportation. I’m nervous because, I’ll be taking a route I’ve never taken before. I’m nervous because even on routes, I am familiar with, there are times I have to get off due anxiety and/or PTSD issues and would have to wait for the next bus so I could be in a better head space to be back on the bus. I know everything will be fine but I’m still anxious about it. I just to get use to public transportation again as well as a new route to me.

When I get home from work tomorrow I am sure my cat Billie dean will be more than happy that I am home. Hell, Billie is always happy when I get home even if it is for five minutes for checking my mail or taking out the garbage. I’m more than certain that I will be just as happy to be home as my cat will be.

I do not have much else to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. So, once again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

A Middle of a Sunday Afternoon Update

Good Afternoon, World!!! I’m not feeling so good. It’s not because I am sick; it is because I am dealing with the worst cramps in the world and I usually have some pretty bad cramps. These cramps are some of the worst I’ve had that at one point in time they were so painful, I actually cried and had to take one of my narcotic medications to relieve the pain. I rarely take a narcotic pain reliever especially for cramps as I have high tolerance for pain.

Since my cramps were so bad I called in sick to my volunteer job. I called out because wouldn’t be able to do my volunteer work like should do it because of my stupid period.

Having a period doesn’t mean you are a woman; it means you have uterus and were assigned at birth to be “female.” In fact people naturally assume I am “female” because I was assigned it at birth and appear to look like one when in reality, I consider myself non-binary and gender non conforming. I realize I could loose some followers and regular readers for my gender identity but that is their choice even if I would like them to continue to read my blog.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post except that having a period fucking sucks. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciative from my end of things that you the reader do read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. It truly means the world to me that you do read my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Everyday Inspirations; Day 15: Take a Cue from Your Reader

In an earlier “assignment” I was suppose to ask what would you like to blog about more or what topics. I didn’t ask because I either didn’t get a response or the response would take too much of my time looking up that topic. I usually take my cues from comments and the like people do as I know that is something to continue to keep writing about.

Weekly Plans

Sunday

  • Mindfulness meditation
  • Volunteer at PAWS Cat City
  • Do Food Handlers permit class and test

Monday

  • Mindfulness meditation
  • Work (First day at actual job site)
  • Spend time with Billie when I arrive home

Tuesday

  • Mindfulness meditation
  • Work from home as I have online training
  • Dinner with neighbors who are friends

Wednesday

  • Mindfulness meditation
  • Work (at job site)
  • Spend time with Billie when I get home from work
  • Attend an online 12 step group

Thursday

  • Mindfulness meditation
  • Work (at job site)
  • Spend time with Billie after I get home from work

Friday

  • Mindfulness meditation
  • Work (at job site)
  • Dinner with a friend
  • Get home and spend time with Billie

Saturday

  • Mindfulness meditation
  • Spend day at grandpa’s house
  • Do laundry while at grandpa’s
  • Make grandpa dinner while at his place

Lack of Sleep & Other Thoughts

It is five o’clock in the morning Seattle time and still haven’t slept yet. Good ole insomnia is kicking my ass tonight. That besides the point. Today’s my brother’s birthday and I made him a care package but I don’t where to send it as has done his disappearing act again.

Anyway I took a four hour training on First Aid, CPR and AED. I needed the first aid and CPR for work and found out if I’m strained on AED I get a raise so yeah me. On that note the four training could have been down in two hours but that is my opinion.

I better try and get some sleep. Peace Out, World!!!

Up Before the Butt Crack of Dawn

Good Sunday Morning, World from Seattle, Washington, USA. It is two o seven in the morning as I start this lovely post. I would rather be sleeping soundly like my cat Billie Dean is right now.. In fact he is snoring. Snoring is normal for him.

Lets start why I’m probably up before the but crack of dawn which would be work tomorrow (Monday). I go into my work site for the first time I go into my actual job site and I have anxiety over it. Not sure why but I think it’s because I want to do a good job at what I do and proof my supervisor and myself that I can do the job.

On that note, I will be volunteering at PAWS Cat City later this morning and am proud to say that Boris got adopted Friday morning. If he wasn’t FIV positive and more lovey dovey than my Billie Boy I would have add him to the family.

My other plans to do today is to do a math workbook to freshen up on my math skills. I also plan on doing a mindfulness workbook to help me with being more mindful of the moment and maybe start a mindfulness group at work if it’s the type of recovery work I can do at the Triage center. I’m also going to work on a workbook specifically for mental health recovery.

As part of my self care besides volunteering at PAWS Cat City, I’ll do some art work by coloring. And of course spending time with my cat Billie.