Okay, Who Decided to Send Me Snow for My Birthday

Posted on by Gertie

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Good Evening, World!!! The above picture is what it looked like a good portion of the day. It snowed today, my 40th birthday. I have experienced snow before but never on my birthday. I have considered myself as a “spring baby” but every once in a while Mother Nature reminds me that I am technically a “winter baby.” When Mother Nature reminds me that I am a “winter baby” it usually is a wind storm with lots of rain and a few down trees and the occasional power outage but never snow.  In fact, I am still trying to figure out who sent me the snow for my birthday because, I sure in the hell didn’t want the white stuff for my birthday. I am not a big fan of snow.

Besides dealing with the snow for my birthday, I attended Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) group as it started today. In my opinion I think getting back into DBT Group and it starting today was the best birthday present I could give myself. I say it is the be present I could give myself because it is something that will help me throughout the years to come just like it has helped me the last fifteen plus years.

Another thing I am doing for my birthday is that a couple of neighbors are making a birthday dinner for me. In fact dinner is at 7:30 this evening and it is just after seven o’clock in the evening in my part of the world. I am looking forward to dinner with friends. I am happy that people are willing to celebrate my birthday with me.

I do not have much more to say in this post. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope you all have a good rest of your Thursday. Peace Out, World!!!

Birthday Plans

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! As I mentioned in my last three post, today is my 40th birthday. A birthday I never thought I would see. A birthday I am grateful for and plan on celebrating it in a number of ways.

One of the first ways, I plan on celebrating my birthday happens early this afternoon. I plan on starting a new group. Well, not exactly new, but new in a way. Today, the DBT Maintenance Group starts and I figure it is a great way to start my 40’s as well as a way to celebrate my birthday and recovery. I know it is an unusual way to celebrate my birthday but it is much more than celebrating my birthday, it is celebrating my recovery.

Another way I am planing on celebrating my birthday is spending it with friends. In fact my friends are taking me out to dinner. They are taking me to my favorite restaurant, Red Robin. I love me some Red Robin. I have been going to Red Robin every year for my birthday since I was thirteen years old. So, that means I have been going to Red Robin for my birthday every year for the last twenty-seven years. I am grateful for my friends for taking me to Red Robin. I am glad I have friends that know me well enough to know that Red Robin is the place I want to be on my birthday.

As far as celebrating with my family, I will be celebrating with them tomorrow (Friday) due to some family member’s work schedule’s. I will be celebrating with my grandpa, dad and two uncles on my dad’s side. I would be celebrating with my mom too if she would be willing to come to Seattle but she is “too scared to drive in Seattle traffic” and I am not about to go to Olympia to celebrate my birthday with my mom especially since she is toxic for me. My family and I are going to a local mom and pop restaurant that I really like going to.

I do not have much more to say in this post. I am hoping to post again later today but not sure how the will be as it is my birthday. I want to thank you all for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a great day. Peace Out, World!!!

Everyday Inspiration; Day 4: A Story In A Single Image

Posted on by Gertie

Today’s Finding Everyday Inspiration is based on a story in a single image. WordPress gave us some images as suggestions and well, I am not feeling particularly inspired by their suggestions. So, since I wasn’t exactly feeling inspired by their suggestions, I decided to look through my own photo’s and still wasn’t exactly feeling inspired. I also looked on the internet to see if any images inspired me and still not feeling inspired.

I am not sure why I am not feeling inspired as today is a great day. A great day to feel inspired because today is my 40th birthday. There was a time in my life where I honestly didn’t think I would live to be forty. I thought because, I thought would have died by suicide. No, I am not feeling suicidal at the moment but there was a time in my life where I didn’t think I would make it because of being so suicidal. Thankfully, I have made it to my 40th birthday and I plan on living a very long time. So, I am very proud of myself for making it to today. Like I said, I should have seen something that inspired me today as it is my birthday and a happy one at that but I am not feeling inspired. I think it partly because I am having a slight case of writer block. I am hoping that maybe sometime later today, I will find an image or photo that inspires me to write something.

I don’t have much more to say due to writers block and the lack of inspiration. I hope everyone has a good day. Thank you so much for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you so much for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

A Sleepless Night in Seattle for this Birthday Person

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It turns out to be a sleepless night for the birthday person, me. Yes, it is now officially my 40th birthday. It has been for the last three hours. It is three o’clock in the morning in my neck of the woods. I am super grateful to be forty years old however I do wish I could get some sleep. I am not sure if it is the excitement of me forty that is keep me up or if it insomnia. Maybe it is both. Who really knows at this at this point of this point in time.

Right now I am taking a small break from binge watching television. Specifically, Umbrella Academy. No, I have not finished the season yet. I wish I was finished with it because it is really good show and want to know what happens however things like life happen. I am really enjoying this show as it is based on one of my favorite comics, the Dark Horse Comics. Anyway, I am just happy that the Umbrella Academy and Dark Horse Comics exist as both are quite helpful for my mental health.

I am thinking I will go back to watching the Umbrella Academy. I am hoping it will be of some help for me to get relaxed enough for me to get some sleep before I need to get up and get ready for the day. I have some appointments I do need to attend today. I will have an awesome birthday.

I don’t have much more to say as I don’t want to end up repeating myself like I tend to do. Thank you so very much for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I am grateful for you my reader as if it weren’t for you, I don’t think I would still be blogging. So thank you again for reading my blog. Have a great day everyone. Peace Out, World!!!

 

Happy Birthday, To Me

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is officially twelve midnight in my corner of the world. It being twelve midnight, I can say that I am now officially forty years old. Today is a big day for me because it is my 40th birthday. Turning forty for anyone is a major deal however it is a bigger deal for me that most people because there was a point in time where I didn’t think I would live to see forty. I didn’t think I would live to see forty because I sincerely thought I would have taken my own life. Yes, I thought I would die by suicide. Turns out that recovery happened. When recovery happens then you have the will to live most day. Yes, I did say most days. The days where the will to live is lower then that’s when you seek out the support you need to seek out. I am so happy to be forty and I hope I have at least forty plus more years of being in recovery.

Yes, I do plan on celebrating my birthday. In fact I have a couple of celebrations already planned with others. I also have my own personal plans to celebrate turning forty. In fact I hope to post about the various celebrations in a later post. I say this as I really want to finish watching The Tonight Show. It is one of my favorite shows to watch. In fact there is nothing better than bringing in any birthday than with laughter and humor.

I don’t have much more to say in this post. I am just really grateful to be alive. I am beyond grateful that I chose to be in recovery as I do not have a clue where I would be at this moment in time. So I am full of gratitude for my life, recovery and everyone who has helped me along the way.

I just want to thank everyone for reading my blog as it is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I really do enjoy sharing my story of recovery with each one of you. I hope everyone enjoys today. I know I will. Peace Out, World!!!

Everyday Inspiration; Day 3: One-Word Inspiration

Posted on by Gertie

Today’s assignment is base on one word to get inspiration from. We were given a list of six words. I chose the word HOPE.

Hope can have different meanings to different people for various reasons. For me, hope can be different to me depending on the circumstance however I will discuss hope from the point of  being a person in recovery with a mental health challenge. Having some form hope is crucial for one to be able to make an active choice to be in recovery. With the help of others such as Peer Supports can help one find the much needed hope.

For me to help other find hope, gives me hope. It gives me hope to see someone find their hope because you can see it through their experiences as well as through new eyes. Hope is an extremely powerful experience. An experience I hope you have had or able to have.

Everyday Inspiration; Day 2: Write A List

Posted on by Gertie

Today’s assignment for Finding Everyday Inspiration is to write a list. We were given a list of topics to use for idea’s for a list. I chose from one of the topics as it resonates with me.

Things I Have Learned:

  1.  How to meditate, as it has helped bring peace in my life.
  2. How to do mindfulness. This has helped me calm my mind and bring peace to my life.
  3. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) skills as this has helped me a great deal with my recovery with mental health challenges.
  4. Learned how to read music when I learned how to play the flute. Playing the flute and reading music has helped me in many areas of my life. Music was the first way I learned how to express myself and my emotions.
  5. Learned how to play the harmonica. If I didn’t learn how to play the flute and read music I would have never learn to play the harmonica. This too has helped me in many areas of my life. Just like playing the flute it helps me express myself and my emotions.
  6. I learned the are of writing poetry. This has helped me express myself in ways people can relate to.
  7. I learned how to paint. In fact I am still learning how to paint. This has helped me express myself when I am unable to use words to express myself.
  8. I am in the middle of learning how to enjoy life even when difficult situations arise. I hope that someday I will be better at this especially among the difficult times.
  9. I learned how to do self care and how to appreciate it. This has helped me a great deal in my recovery
  10. I learned how to accept another persons love. In fact this is something I am still learning how to do. My cat, Lil Gertie, is helping a great deal with this as I have accepted other people’s love a lot easier since I adopted her. It is still a challenge for me but it has become easier since adopting my cat, Lil Gertie.

Beating My Depression

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I am pretty sure that many people have heard the news of Luke Perry passing away due to a massive stroke. This saddens me as I remember watching 90210 as a tween turning into a teenager. Yes, Luke Perry was attractive but he wasn’t the one I had a crush on in the show but I did act like I had a crush on him to fit in with my friends. It is sad that Luke Perry is dead at the age of 52. It is just another reminder on how short life really is.

Now on to other stuff that isn’t as depressing as Luke Perry passing away. Anyway, I did some adulting today. Adulting that is much needed this time of month. That is paying my bills. Nobody that I know enjoys paying bills. I know I don’t like paying them but it is part of being an adult. Another part of me adulting today was to pick up my weekly psych meds. I wish I didn’t need to take meds for my mental health challenges but they are a necessary evil for me as if I don’t take them, my symptoms are that much more unbearable and challenging to deal with.

Today’s weather in Seattle was absolutely beautiful. Chilly but beautiful. I ended up taking a three mile walk after doing my adulting for the day. It was yet another much needed walk. The walk in the sunny weather was quite helpful for me. Getting the much needed Vitamin D was an added plus during my walk as it is usually dreary and drizzly this time of year in Seattle.

I do not have much more to say in this post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated on my end of things. Have a great evening. Peace Out, World!!!

Finally Took a Shower

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! I finally took a shower. It only took forever and a day for me to psych myself up to take a shower. The things that helped me take a shower was eating lunch and going for a two mile walk. Eating helped a great deal as it gave me the energy to actually take a shower. The two mile walk helped me clear my head to get into a good head space to talk myself into taking a shower. I am really grateful that I ate lunch, took a walk and finally got into the shower. So, I have done some good self care so far today.

I don’t have much more to write about. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope you all have a good Monday and work week. Peace Out, World!!!

In Desperate Need of a Shower

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am in desperate need of a shower as I haven’t showered since last Wednesday. I have a couple of ideas of why I haven’t showered and one of them is that my depression is starting to creep back in. The other idea is more or less me being in “fuck it mode” due to something I rather not discuss at the moment. I know taking shower will be extremely helpful in regards to feeling somewhat better.

Not only have I not been showering, I have been in isolation mode. I have been managing to not isolate by hanging out with neighbors as well as going for walks. I do need to start reaching out to friends who don’t live in my apartment building because if I don’t my depression will get worse and I will end up isolating from everyone including my neighbors.

The one thing I was going to do ended up being cancelled because the person is on vacation and failed to inform us last week. I was suppose to attended art group today and it sadly was cancelled the last minute due to a communication failure of the group leader. I was really looking forward to attending art group as I know it would have helped me not isolate as well as to motivate me to take a shower.

On a good note, I have taken my morning walks which I think is my saving grace at the moment. I think my morning walks are great form of self care for me and a good way to start my day. I even do an evening walk to clear my head from whatever type of day I may have had. Taking the two walks a day have been quite beneficial for me and my mental health.

Doing good self care, no matter how small, is something that I benefit from. Sometimes it is difficult for me to do self care due to depression. In fact doing good self care is something I make an effort to do as I want to be an example of what recovery looks like.

I don’t have much more to write about in this post except that I will end up taking a shower at some point today. I also want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Have a good Monday everyone. Peace Out, World!!!