Tag Archives: Depression

Another Sleepless In Seattle Type Of Night

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am once again sleepless in Seattle. At least there was no family drama involved this time around like last night. Sadly, my depression and PTSD symptoms have not decreased much due to being so hypervigilant from last nights family drama. I really dislike hypervigilance and wish I did not have PTSD.

Since I am unable to sleep again and dealing with the aftermath of the family drama of last night I have been cuddling with my cat, Billie. In fact he is all curled up in my lap as I type this particular blog. My cat, Billie has been curled up sleeping as I do some artwork. The type of artwork I am doing is coloring a gigantic coloring poster. I love coloring and enjoy doing it especially when my cat, Billie is curled up on my lap or beside me.

I do not have anything else to talk about nor to write about in this particular blog post except that I hope that I can get some sleep. I do want to thank you the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Check-In

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It is Saturday evening and time to do my weekly check-in. Or at least I am starting my weekly check-in back up with you the reader. Before I do my check-in I want to say Blessed Yule and Happy Solstice. Today is the first day of winter and the shortest day of the year. I am looking forward to tomorrow as it starts being lighter longer. Granted only by a minute or two but I am so looking forward to more light.

This past week has not been the easiest of weeks for me. My depression and Complex-PTSD (C-PTSD) have been acting up so badly that I have been dissociating and isolating. Neither which are good for me or anyone for that matter. To add to the depression and PTSD, I am dealing with grief of my mom’s death on Tuesday, November 26th which was two days before Thanksgiving. Sadly, Christmas Day of this year is one day before the one month mark of my mom’s death. I miss her so very much.

Since I have been isolating this past week, I have been hanging out at home with my beloved senior kitty, Billie. Billie has been helping me so much with dissociation and not doing it. I am so grateful for my cat as he has a calming affect on me and helps me keep my head on straight.

Despite being in a dissociated state for most of the week, I do remember watching a lot of movies. Specifically, I have been watching a lot of Christmas and holiday related movies. I watch Christmas movies that are nostalgic to me and many other people in the world.

Besides watching Christmas and holiday related movies, I have been reading. I specifically have been reading a Christmas book. In fact, I read a Christmas book every holiday season. It is a holiday tradition for me and I really look forward to it every year.

I do not have anything else to check-in or write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Holiday Traditions

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I would like to inform you of my own personal holiday traditions as it was suggested to me to start my own early on in my mental health recovery. The reason why it was suggested to me is because of some of the unrealistic holiday traditions that were placed on me by my family. No disrespect to my family as I love them very much but creating my own holiday traditions have helped me cope with my family as well helped me cope with my PTSD and depression.

When it was suggested to me by my therapist at the time early on in my mental health recovery the only thing I could think of regarding traditions for myself was comic books. Specifically two comic books that focused on Christmas. In fact the comic books I am speaking of are Christmas with the Superhero’s volume one and two by DC comics.

Over the years I have added to my holiday traditions. I have included the typical traditions of watching movies and listening to music. I have also included with the help of friends of the Jewish faith of spending a night or two or three celebrating Hanukkah with my friends who celebrate it. I am grateful that I can help celebrate Hanukkah with my friends who celebrate it. Besides watching holiday movies, listening to holiday music and spending two or three nights celebrating Hanukkah, I have included the following traditions to my list: reading holiday focused books, doing holiday or wintery focused jigsaw puzzles, doing holiday focused logic puzzles, doing Christmas dot to dot, and doing artwork focused on holidays or wintery scenes which includes coloring and diamond art/painting.

Now that I informed you of what I do for my own holiday traditions, it is challenging to know how my family traditions will change this year and next year due to my mom passing away two days before Thanksgiving. I say this year and next year as this year it is so fresh. I know I will keep some of the Christmas traditions my mom instilled upon me. As far as my dad’s side of the family they will still celebrate Christmas on Christmas Eve as one of my uncle’s birthday is on Christmas and celebrate his birthday on Christmas.

I do not have anything else to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out and Happy Holidays, World!!!

Weekly Plans

Posted on by Gertie

Sunday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice through the Calm App
  • Morning walk
  • Breakfast with a good friend
  • Volunteer at PAWS Cat City
  • Clean apartment
  • Art (color and/or diamond painting)
  • Cuddle w/my cat Billie throughout the day

Monday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice through the Calm App
  • Morning walk
  • Breakfast with my partner, Junior (after he gets off work)
  • Call grandpa to thank him for his military service
  • Work on recovery related workbooks
  • Take and return calls for Alley Cat Project
  • Art (color and/or diamond painting)
  • Cuddle w/my cat, Billie throughout the day

Tuesday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice through the Calm App
  • Morning walk
  • Work on recovery related workbooks
  • Take and return calls for Alley Cat Project
  • Read
  • Art (color and/or diamond painting)
  • Cuddle w/my cat, Billie throughout the day

Wednesday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice through the Calm App
  • Morning walk
  • In person appointment with my therapist
  • Work on recovery related workbooks
  • Dinner w/my partner, Junior and our friends
  • Art (color and/or diamond painting)
  • Cuddle w/my cat, Billie throughout the day

Thursday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice through the Calm App
  • Morning walk
  • In person appointment with employment specialist
  • Work on recovery related workbooks
  • Take and return calls for Alley Cat Project
  • Art (color and/or diamond painting)
  • Read
  • Cuddle w/my cat, Billie throughout the day

Friday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice through the Calm App
  • Morning walk
  • Work on recovery related workbooks
  • Take and return calls for Alley Cat Project
  • Art (color and/or diamond painting)
  • Read
  • Dinner w/a good friend
  • Cuddle w/my cat, Billie throughout the day

Saturday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice through the Calm App
  • Morning walk
  • U-District Farmers Market w/my partner, Junior and one of my good friends and her partner
  • Lunch w/my partner, Junior and one of my good friends w/her partner at Red Robin
  • Art (color and/or diamond painting)
  • Read
  • Cuddle w/my cat, Billie throughout the day

Long Time No Blog

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is the middle of the night here in Seattle and I am unable to sleep. As you know I have not blogged in a while. It has been roughly one and a half months since my last blog post. Sadly, I have let my depression symptoms get in the way of blogging. I just wish my depression wasn’t getting the better of me. Even though my depression is acting up at least I haven’t acted on self-harm urges and that the suicidal thoughts haven’t led to plans or intentions.

I know from experience that blogging on a regular basis helps me with my depression symptoms as well as symptoms from other mental health diagnoses. I am going to schedule time out of each week to blog so that way I can keep you the reader interested in continuing to read my blog as well as it helps the symptoms of my mental health challenges.

Of course my cat helps with my depression symptoms as well as other mental health challenges. I love my cat so very much. It is hard to believe I have had him for almost four and a half years. It is also hard to believe that he is a senior kitty who loves to play with a wand toy and a laser toy. I am grateful that Billie is in my life and I am able to experience his unconditional love.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader for reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Depressed In Seattle

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! Right now I am struggling with increased depression symptoms. I do not like having depression but I do not know anyone who has depression that likes having it. I have been isolating most of the day with the exception of my morning walk and going to the grocery store this morning. Isolating is not always a good thing for me as it keeps me in my own head.

Being in my own head for any reason is not a good thing especially when I am isolating. Since, I have been isolating I have been doing some art work. Specifically, I have been coloring a giant poster I bought from Stuff2Color.com. The giant poster I am coloring is a Mandela. I like Mandela’s as they help me be mindful just like coloring does.

The other thing I have been doing besides art work by coloring is cuddling with my cat, Billie. I love spending time with my cat, Billie. Billie is a very sweet cat and I can’t imagine my life without him. I also took some pictures of Billie as well as selfies of me with him. Billie is an awesome lovable lap cat.

I do not have much more to discuss in this particular blog post. I do want to thank the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Depression Sucks

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! I am struggling with some things that I really don’t want to write about right now. I guess it is something that I sort of process in my own time in my own way. I am not even sure if discussing it with my mental health team as well as my natural support system would be helpful at this point in time as I think you could be more challenging to deal with if I did.

I just really don’t like struggling with depression and sadly I have been isolating which is not a good thing. I am making an effort to not isolate by reaching out to my natural support system. I am also spending time with my cat who is helping with my depression symptoms. Another thing that is helping is taking my daily walks in the morning and adding a second walk in the afternoon or evening. I also have been doing multiple mindfulness meditation practices on the daily basis. I know I need to do more but it is challenging to do when you are having morning sickness due to being pregnant.

I do not have much more to discuss in this particular blog post except I will do my best to blog on the more regular basis. I do want to thank you, the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write on my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Daily Prompt; What Are Your Biggest Challenges

Posted on by Gertie
Bloganuary writing prompt
What are your biggest challenges?
View all responses

I can spend all day listing my challenges as I have so many of them already however I am not going to do that. I will say that my biggest challenges are myself as well as PTSD and Depression.

I am one of my biggest challenges because I can get in the way of myself in many different ways and can prevent myself from accomplishing great things in my community. I get in the way of myself by a lot of negative self talk which isn’t good for anyone especially those like me who have a mental health diagnosis.

Speaking of mental health diagnoses, my own diagnoses are challenging. Some moments are more challenging than other moments. Knowing when certain times of the year are harder than other times of year can be quite helpful to make sure those moments don’t have to be as challenging.

A Blustery Winter Post From Seattle

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is that time of year where you never know what the weather is going to be here in Seattle. Well, I am partly wrong on that as most of the time it is usually dark, dreary, damp, wet and rainy. On that note, there are the occasional wind storms and sometimes snow. According to the weather report there are supposed to be strong winds today. In fact the view from my window proves this to be true as the trees are moving due to wind.

Despite the current windy and wet weather, various news reports are reporting that Seattle is supposed to have snow at the end of the week. Seattle shuts down when it snows. Part of the reason is many folks in Seattle don’t really know how to deal with which includes me especially since I spent the first sixteen years of my life in Southern California. The other reason is the lack of things such as snow plows and the fact that Seattle is the second hilliest city in the United States. (The hilliest city in the United States is San Francisco.) Snow is pretty to look at but I am not a huge fan of it due to the fact that I do not like the cold.

Even though there is a threat of snow at the end of this week, I at least know that if it does that I will have therapy on Friday as my session is virtual due to the fact my therapist works from home on Fridays. My therapist and I are working on skills to help with the Depression and PTSD symptoms I deal with especially how intense the symptoms are this time of year. Winter is a really challenging time of year for me in regards to increased Depression and PTSD symptoms which is why my therapist and I work on skills to help me through tough moments.

I do not have much else to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, I would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Managing Through a Tough Day

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! It has been a rough day so far and it is not even twelve noon yet, here in Seattle. I think part of the reason why it has been a rough day is partly due to PTSD symptoms as well as depression symptoms. Both depression and PTSD symptoms suck but I think a factor of the depression symptoms is due to the current weather here in Seattle. It is currently cloudy with a great deal of rain. On that note at least it is not cold enough to snow as I am not a big fan of snow.

Since it hasn’t been the greatest weather outside, I have been doing some things to help myself through this tough day. I have been doing some mindfulness meditation practices as well as doing workbooks to focus on different aspects of my recovery. I have found that both the mindfulness meditation practices and doing workbooks have been quite helpful. Of course my cat, Billie, has been a major help.

Speaking of cats, I go back to volunteering at PAWS Cat City later today after taking some time off. I will be doing some sub shifts and hopefully, will be back on a regular shift soon. Volunteering with cats is awesome and I enjoy it immensely.

I do not have much more to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!