Tag Archives: Depression

Friday Evening Blues

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! Right now I am feeling a little blue. Actually, I am feeling sad and depressed. I am missing my grandma. I wish she was here so I can talk to her but she is not.

I did do some baking. Baking helped me a great deal. I was able to give away some of the things I baked to some friends. Friends who mostly live in my building and rarely get freshly baked goods due to their finances or lack of friends and/or family in their life or their disability. I try to do something nice for the friends I have that live in my building due to the fact many don’t have much of a support system.

I will be spending time with my family on Sunday and I am looking forward to it. I am looking forward to it as it will give me a chance to get out of my apartment building. I have been somewhat isolating myself and not really going out into the community like I should. Spending time with neighbors have been helpful but spending time will be great.

I just don’t have that much to say right now. Maybe it is because I am really missing my grandma at the moment. My cat, Lil Gertie, has been helping me a great deal today. She has pretty much been by my side much of the day when I wasn’t in the kitchen or at a neighbors place.

Thank you for reading. It is greatly appreciated. I hope everyone has a great weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

Finding Ways To Get Out of This Slump

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! For some unknown reason I am struggling this morning. I had a good night of sleep and have had breakfast. Usually a good nights sleep with a good meal helps with the better moods yet that doesn’t seem to be the case at the moment.

I am not sure what I am going to do to combat the struggles I am dealing with at the moment. I think I am going to spend time with Lil Gertie, my cat, because she is able to keep me grounded a good portion of the time.

I think after I am done blogging, I will email my therapist and let him know that I am struggling for some unknown reason. I think he would be appreciative that I am letting him know that I am having a rough moment.

I think after emailing my therapist about this slump that I am in, i am going to do some baking. I think I’ll back some brownies and a cake. Baking will give me something to do and most importantly, I’ll be able to share it with other people. To me being able to give things away especially stuff I have made gives me a sense of joy.

I need to get going. I think emailing my therapist would be the most helpful to me in the moment. Then on to the baking. Thank you for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great Friday. Peace Out, World!!!

The Wave of Grief Strikes Again

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! As I sit here at my laptop, I have tears rolling down my face. Tears rolling down my face because I really miss my grandma and wish she was still here on Earth. I know it has only been six and a half since she died but I wish the pain wasn’t so difficult to deal with.

As difficult as it is for me to deal with my grandma’s death six and a half months ago, I am sure it is that much more difficult for my grandpa. My grandparents knew each other for over seventy years and married for sixty two and a half years. As hard as my pain is with missing my grandma, I am sure it is that much more difficult for my grandpa. It is hard to see him break down when he cries about my grandma. Now that is difficult to see when an eighty eight year old Navy man cry over the loss of their spouse.

As much as I miss my grandma, I am happy that I have my cat, Lil Gertie, to help me through moments of grief. Another thing that I have found helpful with dealing with my grief is journaling. My cat and journaling have been life savers the last week or two in regards to dealing with grief.

Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. I do apologize that it is a depressing to read a post about grief first thing in the morning. Again thank you for reading. Have a great weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

Feeling Blah & Other Randomness

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!! Right now I am feeling a little blah which is a sign of my depression acting up a little bit. So, I went over my grandpa’s place and had dinner which was quite helpful for me. We had breakfast for dinner which was yummy. We had biscuits and gravy for dinner.

Now that I am home, I am spending time with Lil Gertie, my cat, who seems to be extra cuddly at the moment. She is also purring up a storm. Poor little thing has coughed up two fur balls in the last two days. So I am going to take her to the vet if it happens again.

My asthma has been acting up quite a bit lately due to the wildfires around the state. Yes, Seattle is getting plenty of the smoke from the wild fires. It sucks for folks like me who have breathing problems such as asthma. The air quality right now sucks shit for Seattle. Hell, it would even suck shit for Los Angeles. As much as I don’t want it to rain because I am not a big fan of rain, I want it to rain so it can help with the wild fires and clean the air to have better air quality.

I don’t have much to say as I am tired and hopefully will be able to sleep tonight. Sleep didn’t come very well to many people in my building last night but thankfully the problem person is getting the help that they desperately need.

I am looking forward to tomorrow and Sunday due to my volunteer jobs so at least I have something to keep me busy as I start getting excited about the peer conference I am attending next week.

I should get going. I hope everyone has a wonderful rest of their Friday. I also hope everyone has a wonderful weekend. Thank you so much for reading. It is much appreciated from my end. Peace Out, World!!!

Combating Depression & Other Randomness

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World. Right now I am combating both depression and grief. I am really missing my paternal grandma today. Or at least that is how the wave of grief is having it for me today. I am also combating off some depression. Not sure if it is the regular depression I deal with or if it is depression related to the grief or maybe a combination of both.

To help me fight off the depression and grief I have been doing some household chores to make my apartment cleaner. Cleaner so when my grandpa comes over for his birthday dinner it’s not as messy as it usually is. I am making my grandpa meatloaf for his birthday because that is what he wants even though it’s a “simple meal” it is one that he “enjoys.” Being able to do something for my grandpa for his birthday instead of giving him something is something he would rather have as the memories are better than material things.

Another way I have been combating the depression and grief is getting ready to go to a conference early next week that is solely for Peer Specialist/Counselors. Just knowing I will be with people who are in recovery with mental health challenges for two days is enough to keep me going. I will be in a hotel for two day full of peer support. In fact I also sought out peer support today for the depression and grief. That someone is the one who is the supervisor of the volunteers at the peer conference. See I got a full ride scholarship, including lodging and food just because I will be volunteering. I only have to pay for transportation which is easy because I am car pooling with someone to the conference. The power of peers is a real thing and we are going to fight against the mental health system somehow.

On a good note, and I think I have informed you of this already is that I have an interview on Friday, August 31st, 2018 for a peer specialist job. A job I am unsure about but hope I get an opportunity to get back in the swing of things. Yes, I am looking forward to getting back into the swing of things work wise but am a bit nervous about going back to work. I am having some self doubts about going back to work but for me having self doubts is a normal part of my daily mental health challenges.

I should really get going as I need to start preparing to cook dinner as my grandpa will be here shortly and likes to eat relatively early. I am expecting to eat around five in the evening in my neck of the woods.

I would like to thank you again for reading my blog. It is very much appreciated from my end of things. If it wasn’t for you the reader and/or follower, I still would not be blogging. Peace Out, World!!

Just a Bunch of Randomness

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! Today, I am having a mixture of emotions especially when it is in regards to my paternal grandparents. I am having a huge wave of grief that I am dealing with in regards to my paternal’s grandma’s death on Valentines day of this. Today’s wave a grief hit extra hard because this is the first birthday my paternal grandfather has had my grandma by his side in over seventy years even though they were married for sixty two and a half years. My grandpa is having a rough go at it so I invited him to my place to have a birthday dinner I will make. I don’t know if I can cook meatloaf as good as my grandma but that’s what he wants for his birthday or at least what he wants for his birthday from me.  As I grieve over my grandma even six and a half months later, I celebrate my grandpa’s 88th birthday today.

On the other hand let me update you on the pain of my migraine. I did go to the hospital last night and had a bunch of test run on me because they wanted to make sure that the infection in my mouth hasn’t spread even though I informed the doctors it felt like a regular migraine. They were just be overly cautious because it turns out it was a regular ole pain in the ass migraine. My mouth infection is looking a great deal better and its starting to feel better as well. I’m still in pain from the infection but at least the pain is subsiding.

Now on to the fire alarm system and smoke detector inspection that happens every three months that ended up being a month late this time around happened today. My cat, Lil Gertie, was not a fan of the inspection. Hell, neither was I but I am sure it was worse for her and her poor lil ears. She freaked out a little bit but not as bad as I thought it would have had on her.

On the note of my cat she is helping me deal with my depression and grief at the moment. She is sitting next to me on my favorite chair as I blog this particular post. Having her cuddle up next to me while purring sure helps with both the depression and grief I am dealing with. With my emotions they way they are today, I am grateful for my cat.

I don’t have much more to say at the moment. Thank you for reading me ramble on about a bunch of randomness. I appreciate each one of you. I hope you have a great Thursday. Peace Out, World!!!

It’s Midnight & I Can’t Sleep

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is twelve midnight in my corner of the world and I can not sleep. I am not sure why I can not sleep. I highly dislike not being able to sleep. I have a great deal on my mind but I think I can not sleep due to the fact that it is a combination of PTSD and insomnia.

Right now my depression and PTSD are acting up and I am not sure why. I am pretty sure my poor health isn’t helping the symptoms of my mental health challenges. This stupid weird ass mouth infection is just not conducive to what I have planned.

Maybe, I will turn on some music and do some art. Actually, the genre of art I will be doing is coloring. Not sure what genre of music I will be listening to yet but the decision is in the works.

Have goodnight and hope everyone has a good nights sleep. I hope everyone has a good Monday and work week when they get up for work. Thanks for reading. I really do appreciate people reading my blog. Having regular readers is what helps keep this blog going. Peace Out, World!!!

Just Me Bitching About Shit

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!!  I am struggling at the moment and not sure why. I have an inkling why but it’s just the same bullshit I have been discussing about in most of my post as of lately.

I am getting highly annoyed with this weird ass mouth infection that appears that won’t fucking go away. Normally if I was in this much pain, I would go to the hospital however I already know that all the doctors and nurses would say is to take ibuprofen which doesn’t really do shit but I understand why they don’t want to give me something stronger. Doctors are fearful of getting someone addicted to narcotic pain relievers and I don’t blame them. I just want the pain to go away. Actually, I want the infection to be gone so the pain can be gone.

I was suppose to hear back by the end of last week to get an interview at a potential employer sometime this week. That hasn’t happened yet. I wish people would keep their word and yes I know people get busy. I just want to get back to work.

Right now all I can do is to distract myself. I have been playing with my cat which has be quite helpful. Having a cat around sure is quite helpful. I have also been doing some art work. Specifically, I have been coloring. Coloring gives me a sense of peace and that is quite helpful.

Thank you for reading my blog again. I plan on posting again tomorrow. I hope you have a great rest of your Sunday evening. Peace Out, World!!!

 

There’s Nothing Like Cuddles From The Cat

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! There is nothing like being home especially where there are cat cuddle’s involved. Being able to cuddle with my cat today, or any time for that matter, has been quite helpful to me. Having a cat to come home to makes being home that much more better.

Right now I am watching the five o’clock news. As usual there is nothing really good on the news. Just a bunch of politics. Mainly, a bunch of politicians acting like a bunch of children. In fact children act more mature than politicians do now a days.

Right now I am having my anxiety and depression are acting up and I am not sure why. I am attributing a little bit to my current health problems and other to not having a job.  I mainly blame it on my weird as mouth infection that appears that won’t fucking go away.

I think I am going to work on applying for jobs after I am done post this blog and getting some cuddles from my cat, Lil Gertie. Getting cuddles from my cat, Lil Gertie, is quite helpful for me. I think job hunting and applying for jobs will be helpful as well.

Thank you so much for reading my blog. I appreciate it from the bottom of my heart. Have a great rest of you Sunday. Peace Out, World!!!

Home With Cat

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! I don’t know if I stated in my last post, I am now home with my cat. In fact my last post was written and posted here at home. It is nice to be home with my cat at my side. Right now she is purring and it is calming me down quite a bit.

Now that I am home, it is my goal to get my depression and anxiety under control. How do I plan on doing this you ask. Great question. I plan on blogging off and on all day today. I also plan on doing chores which is an odd way of helping with depression and anxiety. Of course spending time with my cat is another way that will be helpful for my anxiety and depression.

I also plan on spending it time with some of my neighbors who have become really good friends. In fact we will be having a potluck dinner. More like an early dinner at about four in the afternoon in my corner of the world. That is less than an hour away for me.

I just wish I wasn’t having such high anxiety and increasing depression despite everything I am doing to combat it. Maybe if I blog later on about the dinner I had or whatever the hell is on my mind will help.

I want to thank you for reading my blog no matter how depressing it can be. For me I appreciate you for reading my blog. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Have a wonderful Sunday. I hope to blog again later on today to let you know how things have improved. Or I hope improved.  I am very grateful for all of you reading. Peace Out, World!!!