Tag Archives: Mental Health

Too Early to be Awake Even for a Work Day

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is four o’clock in the morning, Seattle time which is way too early for me to be awake especially since I do not start work till eight o’clock in morning, Seattle time. I am blaming the treatment resistant insomnia I have. I am missing my cat Billie right now but he is on my grandpa’s and will see both Billie and my grandpa tomorrow for Thanksgiving.

At least it is only a four hour work day at my job today and I get paid for a full eight hours which I am happy about. I love my job and how I feel supported my by supervisors and colleagues. I work with some amazing people.

I am not sure what else to discuss in this blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader reading my blog, I wouldn’t be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart fro reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Ramblings About Work, Thanksgiving, Family, Food, Love & Cats

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! It is almost ten o’clock at night on a Tuesday in my neck of the woods; known as Seattle. I love my job more than I could have ever imagined. My work really takes care of it’s employees. In fact my work is closing the agency at twelve noon which is early tomorrow (Wednesday) due to the Thanksgiving holiday on Thursday. My work is even closed Thursday which is Thanksgiving Day here in the United States as well as closed on Friday the day after Thanksgiving. I am so grateful for my work doing this for myself and my colleagues and we still get paid a full eight hours for tomorrow (Wednesday) and we only work for four hours tomorrow. On that note I am personally taking the Monday after Thanksgiving off to have a longer weekend.

Anyway, right now my cat, Billie Dean is at my grandpa’s and uncles house and has been since Sunday. The reason being is because I want to do a deeper clean than I normally do in my bathroom since that’s where Billie’s litter box is. I will do this after I get off work tomorrow at twelve noon. I really do miss Billie but I have been have video chats with Billie with the help of my grandpa and uncle. I love my cat Billie and can’t wait to see him on Thanksgiving Day.

I will be spending Thanksgiving Day with my family. Specifically, my grandpa, dad and two uncles on my dad’s side and let not forget my cat Billie will be there. We will be eating a lot of food on Thanksgiving like many Americans do on Thanksgiving. I am happy that I will be around loved ones on Thanksgiving Day eating way too much food.

I will also be doing something I have been doing on the daily basis and getting my form of education of philosophy by listening to a podcast on the topic. The philosophy podcast I am being educated on is “Philosophize This.” I am making sure I listen to at least one episode a day till I get up to day on the most recent episode. I try to listen to two to three episodes but sometimes I don’t have enough time to do so.

I do not have much more to discuss in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog because if it wasn’t for you the reader reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. So, I would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Middle of the Night Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is just after one o’clock in morning in my corner of the world which is Seattle. I must have falling asleep early as I was listening to a podcast about philosophy. Specifically, I am listening to “Philosophize This.” I sadly have to go back to last podcast I l last remembered and I am okay with this. I never hurts to relearn things. My worry is being able to go back to sleep due to insomnia and falling asleep too early.

Since I most likely will not be able to go back to sleep, I have other plans. Plans to attend that is a twelve step program that focuses on how to change yourself and not change others. It also has a lot of recovery focused language in this particular twelve step program unlike other’s I have been attended. I am happy that I have decided to go back to this twelve step meetings as it helps me a great with my own recovery.

I just ordered Taco Bell from Grubhub. I’m surprised they let me order this late. I just hope I get the order for this food as I am hungry as hell. Last time I ate was lunch time which was over twelve hours ago. Anyway lets hope it gets here before the meeting I want to attend online starts.

Lets not forget about my cat, Billie Dean. He has been very sweet and loving since I got home from work today. I’ve been dealing with anxiety and depression really badly as of lately. Billie has be so much more cuddly than he normally is and I am appreciative of it. I love my cat, Billie so much and am beyond grateful that he is in my life. I know Billie the Kat loves me unconditionally and I soak up that unconditional love as much as I can.

I do not have much more to say in this particular post but I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader reading my blog, I wouldn’t be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

One of Them Days

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It’s been one of those days where depression and anxiety are both acting up. It’s not a good time for either of them to act up when you work with clients who are in crisis mode. Any way, my supervisors have been very supportive of debriefing about these clients. I love the people I work with but some days are just more challenging than other days.

Anyway, after work I checked in with friends as my cat Billie Dean sat on my lap cuddling. Having my friends give me a reality check and the unconditional love of my cat, Billie has really helped me.

Another thing that has helped me is while my cat cuddled with me, I listened to a podcast about philosophy. Specifically, I am listening to “Philosophize This.” I am learning a great deal about philosophy and feel like I am getting a small education about philosophy.

I do not have very much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my perspective that you read my blog. If it wasn’t for you my reader, reading my blog, I wouldn’t be writing my blog. Again, thank from the bottom of my heart for reading my heart. Peace Out, World!!!

Disappointment of the Christmas Holiday

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I am greatly disappointed right now. My greatest wish that I have had since I was three was that both sides of my family would celebrate together with me. Sadly, this has never happened. My paternal grandfather over to drive me and my dad’s side to my moms side of the family to give me the one wish I have wanted since I was three, to have my family spend time with me so I wouldn’t have to do all the traveling. Sadly, my mom, brother and two uncles on my moms side refuse to get vaccinated while my dad, grandpa and two uncles on my dads side our vaccinated. Hell, I am vaccinated. My mom’s side doesn’t want to get vaccinated for personal reasons and I respect that. My grandpa isn’t willing to put his health or the health of my dad as risk. So I am very disappointed that other peoples choices are effecting the one Christmas wish I have wanted since I was three. I respect both sides of my families decision with their health choices. I just wish they would realize my Christmas wish is for both sides of my family to get together. Something that hasn’t happened since I was two years old. I am now 42. It’s be 40 years since both sides of my family were together for Christmas.

It’s very disappointing the my family has continued to not make my life long wish not come true and I am “the selfish one” for wanting this since I was three years old when my parents divorced the summer I was three years old. It should wasn’t my choice my parents divorced. I am lucky that my parents have remained friends.

I guess for me this pandemic know as Covid-19 has put my greatest Christmas wish to a halt. I respect everyone’s choices regarding their health I am disappointed my greatest Christmas hope isn’t going happened once again.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope you all have a great evening. Peace Out, World!!!

Mr. Sandman Wants me To Learn & Not Sleep

Posted on by Gertie

I am getting a bit frustrated. I can not sleep even if my life depended on it which in a way sleep is a part of being able to to function in daily life. I just really want to sleep and want to sleep now. At least the Seattle rain is soothing me and helping lessening the anxiety that I am dealing with at the moment.

On that note I have been being creative by doing art. Specifically, I have been coloring. Coloring has been quite helpful for me to be able to lessen the anxiety I am dealing with. As I have been coloring, I have been listening to a podcast about philosophy. I feel like listening to “Philosophize This” is giving me an education I never received in school, specifically high school since I never went to college. Being able to be creative by doing art via coloring and listening to a podcast on philosophy is helpful for me to get through a sleepless night.

Of course, Billie Dean, my cat has be quite helpful with keeping the anxiety down. Billie is such a love bug and I love him so very much. I am grateful that he is in my life. I just whish I could sleep. I guess it’s time to cuddle with Billie my cat once again.

I don’t have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom from my heart for reading my blog. Wish me luck that I can get some sleep. Peace Out, World!!!

Another Night Without Sleep With a Bit of Learning & Creativity

Posted on by Gertie

It is extremely extremely early in my corner of the world which is Seattle. It is cold for Seattle. Not cold as in snowing or freezing outside. It is just cold as the temperatures are below normal. At least it’s just really bad rain and wind and the temperatures are in the low 40’s.

Anyway, it’s not because of the “cold” weather why I am up at this god awful hour in the middle of the night. I am up in the middle of the night due to insomnia. I think part of the insomnia I am dealing with tonight is because of PTSD shit. Having PTSD and insomnia suck shit especially since I am unable sleep.

So, since I am unable to sleep, I am doing art. Actually the type of art I am doing is coloring. Of course as I am coloring I am listening to a podcast about philosophy. I am using creativity via art by coloring as I learn about philosophy but listening to a podcast. I am listening to “Philosophize This.” So, I guess by being creative while doing art, I am able to learn about philosophy.

Of course my cat, Billie Dean is keeping me company by sitting on my lap. Billie is purring up a storm which means he is just happy he is getting attention. Oh shit the fire department is here at my building. Thankfully the fire alarm isn’t going off or at least it is not at the moment. Anyone, Billie is just grateful for the attention I am giving him in the middle of the night.

I do not have much more to talk about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. If it wasn’t for you my reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Depression, Anxiety & Love

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! It is exactly midnight in my neck of the woods known as Seattle. The weather in Seattle has been quite sucky the last week including right this moment.

The weather isn’t exactly helping my depression and my anxiety isn’t helping the depression as well. I can tell you that the unconditional love I am receiving from my cat Billie Dean. Billie is such a loving cat who loves to cuddle and that helps with both my anxiety and depression a great deal.

Another thing that is helping with the depression and anxiety is listening to a podcast about philosophy. A podcast that I am being educated on in philosophy. The philosophy podcast I am listening to is “Philosophize This.” I really feel like I am getting an education oh philosophy from this podcast.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is great appreciated from my end of things that you the reader read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Feeling Loved

Posted on by Gertie

Happy Friday, World!!! Today, I am feeling loved. I am feeling loved by my friends and family. Let’s start with me getting home from work. My grandpa and uncle had come over and helped clean up a little bit of my apartment. They didn’t have to do this but they did and I feel loved my this.

Another way I am feeling loved is that some of my friends who are neighbors made me dinner and invited me over to eat dinner with them. Spending time with people who care about me while eating good food makes me feel loved.

Last but not least, my cat, Billie Dean always gives me love. Billie’s love for me is unconditional. Anyone who has ever had a pet knows the unconditional love an animal is able to give.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it wasn’t for you reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Unable to Sleep & It’s Not the Cats Fault

Posted on by Gertie

Good Very Early Morning, World!!! It is seven minutes after two in the morning in my neck of the world in Seattle. Yes, it means it is 2:07 in the morning. I am unable to sleep at the moment it is starting to frustrate the hell out of me. It is frustrating the hell out of me because not only is my anxiety is acting up but by PTSD is acting up as well. In my opinion it is the anxiety and the PTSD that is keeping me up which is helping with the helping the insomnia.

On the plus note, the Seattle rain is quite soothing helping me calm down and be mindful of being in the present. In fact my cat is also helping me be in the present moment. I love the fact how the Seattle rain and my cat help me be in the current present moment.

And of course the other thing that is helping me is right now is is listening to the podcast on philosophy. Specifically, I am listening to “Philosophize This” and am feeling like I am getting a great education about philosophy. I know it seems weird but I feel like I am learning a lot and getting an informal education.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do what to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!