Tag Archives: Mental Illness

Wanting to Post but Nothing to Post

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!!! Right now, I am feeling left out or left behind. I feel like this because some of the things I am discussing to friends and family especially family don’t seem to understand how traumatic this entire lay of thing has been on not just the clients but the staff. I just feel like I have nobody to go to that understand but my therapist. I need someone other than my therapist to talk to about it. My family it traumatizing me more about talking about it with them so what the use of discussing it with them. I don’t want to wear out the friends I do have. I just feel like the only people who know are the ones I work with and we just want to discuss it with others because it will make us more upset discussing at this point.

I do have to I Billie has been a great help through all of this and keeping an eye me. I feel like I am neglecting him in a away. Mainly by not play with him as much. I love my Billie so much and he was a good boy today. I took him outside the building with his leash and harness and it was the first time he didn’t try to run back to the building door. It only last five minutes but I’m proud of Billie for it. It was also the perfect Seattle weather to do it in as well.

I don’t have much to say except thank you for reading my blog. Have a good rest of you Wednesday. Peace Out, World!!!

Official Date for Lay Off from Work

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!!! I finally found out when my lay off date is at work and am not sure if I am allowed to share it as I signed some documentation. In all honest with you, I think it’s the other shit that they don’t want out there. Not everyone has the same lay off date but mine is June 3rd of this year. I’m sad I only have a couple of weeks to say goodbye to client but they will be going to place that will be helpful to them. My place employment was a mental health agency the was geared toward the queer community was it’s main focus so Seattle experience a big loss especially since it’s been around for fifty three years.

On that note I’ve have friends and family checking on me that makes me feel loved. Having a good support system is needed when you are in recovery from anything. I truly love my friends and family and that they love and care for me back. My colleagues are in the same category as friends and family.

Speaking of friends and family, Billie Dean, my cat is on my lap as I write this post as I listen to my recovery playlist from Spotify. My cat being near me is surely helping my emotions just like the music is. Music is a go to for me to change my mood around. Billie my cat listening to the music just helps that just much more.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. So, again thank you from the bottom of my hear for reading my blog. Peace Out, World.

Weekly Check In

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! Good news is my grandpa’s Honor Flight finally happened was not post poned for the hundredth time. So for are he is enjoying it and the is making me happy. As I sit here hat home in Seattle with my cat Billie Dean, I wish I was with my grandpa but I understand why he want to go alone and not make anyone jealous or envies. It’s also nice to just be home alone with my cat Billie.

As far are as my job goes, it is still up in the air and driving everyone including staff, clients and the count bat shit crazy. The Board of Directors want’s is closed completely however the county it is trying to keep the agency open. Honestly, I think the reality of it is that it will close.

I really wish I was in the other Washington (DC) with my grandpa but I respect his wishes and am happy his honor flight is finally happening. I am happy that I have friend and family sending cards to my grandpa for “mail call” during his honor flight.

I just that is my weekly check in. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Uncertainty With a Whim of Hope

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I had a challenging supervision with my supervisor today saying I am planning on staying to the end but with the uncertainty of when the end will be, I started putting myself out there via cover letters and resume’s. She understand and is doing the same thing. She informed that the former Vice president and acting president is seeing if she could find a spot for me. Specifically a spot to create a program for the LGBTQ+ (Queer) community. This would be great sense I am queer. To me this is hopeful news but I have a bit of uncertainty at the moment as creating new programs can be challenging.

I am applying for other jobs even though it is my hope my current job stays open as it is one of my dream jobs. I can’t lay all my eggs in one basket. I have tons of references which is a great thing.

In all honesty if I get a job where I work from the office five days a week, I don’t think Billie Dean my cat will be happy with me. We both know we love each other. I love being able to come home from work with the love Billie.

I just hope my next job, whatever it may be will be longer that an year and a half. I will miss my colleagues and clients when it’s time to say goodbye. Just send out good vibes, energy, Vudu, and karma for me please.

I am done with this post and would like to thank you for reading my post. It is greatly appreciated that you read my blog. If if it wasn’t for you reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Plans

Posted on by Gertie

Sunday

  • Mindfulness Meditation Practice
  • Volunteer at PAWS Cat City
  • Cuddle time with Billie Dean, my cat
  • Reading

Monday

  • Mindfulness Meditation Practice
  • Walk Billie (my cat) around apartment building
  • Work
  • Reading

Tuesday

  • Mindfulness Meditation Practice
  • Walk Billie (my cat) around apartment building
  • Therapy
  • Work
  • Reading

Wednesday

  • Mindfulness Meditation Practice
  • Cuddle time with Billie, my cat
  • Work
  • Reading

Thursday

  • Mindfulness Meditation Practice
  • Cuddle time with Billie my cat
  • Work
  • Volunteer at PAWS Cat City
  • Reading

Friday

  • Mindfulness Meditation Practice
  • Cuddle time with Billie my cat
  • Work
  • Reading

Saturday

  • Mindfulness Meditation Practice
  • Walk Billing my cat around apartment building and cuddle tie
  • Volunteer at PAWS Cat City
  • Reading while cuddling with Billie my cat

Weekly Check In

Posted on by Gertie

Happy Caturday, World!!! It is Saturday aka Caturday which is when I usually do my weekly check ins. I personally feel like I haven’t bed doing the weekly check ins on the regular basis and I have plenty of legit excuses I can use but not going to use them as I know what I can do to overcome the struggles of doing the weekly check ins.

It has been a challenging few weeks or a I should say a challenging month and a half at work. I love my job with a passion and really hope the county can find a way to to keep us open. There is a very small glimmer of hope it can stay open but the reality is, it most likely will close.

Something that helped me this week was taking yesterday (Friday) off from work and go to my grandpa’s after work on Thursday to spend a couple of days with him and my two uncles. Of course my cat Billie Dean came with me. He enjoyed the extra attention but everyone knows that I am his human.

As far as my own recovery and knowing, I will be laid off but no official lay off date as of yet, I’ve been using my DBT skills. Specifically, the Radical Acceptance skill. Not an easy skill to do but it is helping me a great deal.

On the plus note, it is finally baseball season. I am hoping to make it to a came this season. Preferably one where the Angels are in Seattle. I love my home town team of the Angels. I really hope they do well this season.

I don’t have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my post. Thank you again from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World

Do you realize it’s my time to hide & nap?

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! It is four thirty in the after noon in Seattle. This is the time Billie Dean goes into his hiding bed which is on my bed to take a nap. Apparently he is not happy with me because I was to take a nap as well. He does not have a happy face on and hope people can see it. I love giving Billie his space but I need sleep to. Hope you have a great Wednesday afternoon. Peace Out, World!!!

A Range of Emotions

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! As I write this particular blog, I am writing in between clients and writing note about clients. I guess it’s one of the luxuries of being able to work from home part of the time. I really love my job but today has been a tough one and I am not sure why. Be back later, I have a client to see.

Okay, now I’m back after two sessions with clients and writing their notes so their insurance can pay my employer. I love my job most days and normally don’t feel drained but I’m feeling drained because nobody really knows if my employer is actually closing or not.

I blame the board of directors on this and am happy that the county is wanting to keep us open but it appears like nothing is being done. We have no leadership left. We do have one HR person left and two of the four remaining supervisors are leaving in May.

I have a range of emotions because I love my job and am grateful for it. I’m also angry, depressed and full of anxiety of what is going on. The county is giving us some hope but not much.

Working from home is helping me today because I have Billie to help me with my emotions. I love my cat so much. I wish could talk more about Billie but I have another session with a client and then a meeting. So, thank you so much for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Gratitude of Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! The last month and a half has been a whirl wind especially at work. My past and current collogues have been nothing but awesome. Despite the board directs wanting to close our agency down there is some hope because the county wants us to stay open. To me the very little hope is what is keeping me going. That and the clients we serve.

I’m also grateful to the blogging community for the support you are giving me. You fellow bloggers are a big reason I continue to blog and that is because of of the support you give to me and others.

Now on to my friends, family and my cat, Billie Dean. I wouldn’t have gone through this if it it wasn’t for your support. The same support my colleagues give me .

The love and hope a receive from all of you helps me stay in my recovery and helps me keep focused on the clients my employer serves. Thank you again from the bottom of my hear for reading my blog. Without you reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Semi-Woe Is Me Moment

Posted on by Gertie

Hello World!!!I went to my volunteer job at PAWS Cat City like I do every Sunday. I had me a great time. I love spending time with kitties waiting for their furrever home.

On that note I got to my floor where one of my neighbors started raising her voice at me. I ignored her and passed by her so I can get to my apartment. Of course I’m greeted my by cat who escaped into the hall way and this neighbor who already yelled at me, started screaming on my cat and myself. I’ve never seen cat so scared and run back to the apartment. It took all my might to not interact with this neighbor.

I spent some time with Billie Dean to calm him down which calmed me down. Which was helpful for the both of us. I went down to the community room to get a soda not know this neighbor has going to be down there doing a puzzle. She screamed at me an called me names that I won’t mention here because I found them offence of and don’t want to offend anyone else. I got my soda and listened to her and I left the community room crying. I did not say anything to her except “I hope you have a good Sunday” and left the community room and came to my apartment. Spent some more time with a Billie Dean my cat which helped.

I then reached out to a neighbor who is a friend so I could get a good reality check and a hug. We talked about twenty minutes and I felt better. The conversation I had with the neighbor I am friends with pointed out that I wouldn’t have taken all this so hard due to my work situation and being laid off with an unknown lay of date. He said “I would be having a woe is me moment if I were in your situation. The only difference is that yours is a semi woe is me moment which is goo for you.” He also suggested the I try to be friends with some of my neighbors which is true.

I do not have much more to say. I just want to say thank you for reading my blog. If it wasn’t for you reading my blog, I would not be writing it. So, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!