Tag Archives: Parents

Today Marks One Year Since My Mom Died

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! Today marks one year since my mom died. As expected, it has a challenging day with grief of it being the one-year anniversary of my mom’s death. Not only am I dealing with the grief with the anniversary of my mom’s death but tomorrow in Thanksgiving here in the United States and tomorrow will mark my first Thanksgiving without my dad as he died back in January of this year (2025). So, it has been challenging but on a good note, today I had a regularly scheduled appointment with my therapist. We discussed the grief regarding the one-year anniversary of my mom’s death as well as tomorrow being the first Thanksgiving since my dad died back in January of this year (2025). It was a really productive session with my therapist today as well as a challenging one as grief is never easy to deal with much less talk about.

I do not have anything else to discuss or share or to write about in this particular blog post except to say it is now time to cuddle with my cat, Billie. I do want to thank you the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Life Updates

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! It has been a few months since I last posted. Actually, tomorrow marks three months since I last posted. I don’t have any excuses at all. Yes, I have been busy with life in general and my new job however I could have made time to post.

My new job is going quite well. It is hard to believe that I have been at my current job for three months now. I am really enjoying it. In fact, we recently hired a new nurse, and I was able to be part of the interview process. Every person on the team is a part of the interview process and I think that is an awesome idea especially since we are a small team of six people including myself (and the new nurse). I enjoy working with my colleagues and working with the young people I help. One of the best parts of my job is how close the team is as well as how much autonomy I have in my position. One of my favorite things about my current position as a Peer Support Specialist is that my supervisor and his boss as well as the organization I work for encourages me to attend trainings especially ones that are pertinent to my job. For example, I work with young folks from 15 years old to 40 years old who are experiencing their first episode of psychosis and my supervisor, and his boss are “thrilled” that I took the initiative to sign up to attend the Hearing Voices Facilitator training. Sadly, when I worked at another organization on a team that focuses on people who have a psychotic disorder it wasn’t encouraged for me to do this particular training even though it would have been beneficial for the people I helped with there as well as the people I currently help. I’m just happy I can do this training as it will allow me to help the people, I serve better and learn new skills to lean on for their recovery journey. I am thrilled that I can be part of someone’s recovery journey especially since most of the people I help are just starting their recovery journey.

Speaking of recovery journeys, mine is going quite well. Granted I am not where I would like to be like I was, in early 2022. Thankfully, I am doing better than I was in late summer of 2023 after being traumatized again. Sadly, my therapist has been out on FMLA and haven’t been able to have therapy, but I am grateful that my therapist is practicing what she preaches by taking time to take care of herself. My recovery is going relatively well. I’ve been taking my meds regularly, doing mindfulness meditation practices two to three times daily, going for two walks a day, making my bed, having a good sleep hygiene schedule and of course relying on my friends as well as my cat to help my recovery. I am just happy that my recovery is currently in a stable place and that I have my cat and some great friends a part of my life as I walk through my mental health recovery.

On that note, I am still struggling with grief over the death of both of my parents. It has been seven months since my mom died and five months since my dad died. I miss both of them dearly. I just wish I can hug both of them one last time as well as hear them say “I love you” one more time. I am grateful that my cat, Billie is there to help me with the grief just like my friends are helping me through the grief after losing both of my parents within two months of each other. I have an amazing cat as well as some pretty amazing friends who help me through some of the toughest moments of grief.

I do not have anything else to discuss or share or to write about in this particular blog post except that I hope to blog on the more regular basis, so I don’t leave you the reader hanging. I do want to thank you the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

I Am Awake Way Too Early

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am awake way too early. Since I am awake way too early, I decided to blog although I wish I was still asleep. It is hard to believe that tomorrow at this time, I will another year older. Tomorrow is my birthday, and it is my first birthday that I am celebrating since both of my parents died. I am extremely sad over this. I really wish they were both still alive to celebrate my birthday with me and sadly that is not the case.

Speaking of my parents being dead, I saw my therapist yesterday and we discussed the increase of my PTSD symptoms. We discussed how shaken I was and am on how much my PTSD symptoms have increased. My therapist informed me that it is common for people who experienced trauma in their childhood that people will experience an increase of PTSD symptoms after one and/or both of their parents’ deaths. I didn’t know this, but I was not shocked by it. To make matters worse, I was looking over some paperwork I need to fill out regarding my dad, and I remembered some stuff that happened to me by my now ex stepbrother. As much as I don’t want to remember the shit, I have been through I am grateful that I have a therapist to help me through it.

I do not have anything else to discuss or share or to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

There is Nothing Better Than the Love of a Cat

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I am dealing with a combination of depression, PTSD and grief regarding both of my parents’ death. Since I am dealing with so much right now with the grief of losing my parent, increased depression and PTSD I am grateful for my cat, Billie. I am grateful for Billie’s unconditional love that he gives me. Human’s including myself don’t deserve the love of animals especially their pets. I know I don’t deserve Billie’s unconditional love, and I am so very grateful for his love.

I do not have anything else to discuss or share or to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Feeling Emotional

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is seven twenty in the morning here in Seattle and I am feeling emotional. I am feeling emotional because I am missing my parents. Sadly, both of my parents died within two months of each other. My mom died of lung cancer and my dad died in hospice care from aspiration pneumonia. It has only been three months since my mom died and one month since my dad died. The grief is really intense at this moment in time. I wish both of them were still alive. I miss both of them very much.

The grief of losing both of my parents might be intense right now but I am grateful for the friends I have in my life. In fact, two of friends are taking me out to breakfast. They are taking me to breakfast at Blue Star Cafe and Pub in the Walingford neighborhood of Seattle. In fact, Blue Start Cafe and Pub is near the novelty store Archie McPhee’s which is a big deal here in Seattle. I have some amazing friends who care about me and willing to take me out to breakfast for no reason other than they care about me.

I do not have anything else to discuss or share or to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Missing My Mom & Dad

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! Right now, I am really missing my parents. Yesterday marked three months since my mom died and tomorrow marks one month since my dad’s death. Losing both parents is extremely challenging especially when their deaths are so close to each other. Losing both parents so close to each other has been a rollercoaster ride of emotions. Emotions that I really do not want to deal with and if I do not acknowledge them then the rollercoaster ride just gets worse, so I am acknowledging that I am not liking my emotions at the moment. I just wish my parents were both still alive and accepting the fact that this my new reality is hard. I just hope they both knew how much I loved them.

I do not have anything else to discuss or share or to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Missing My Parents

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I woke up this morning with some intense sadness. Sadness over losing both of my parents within a two-month period. It sucks that they died so close together but there is nothing I can do about it but radically accept the situation or be in denial. Some moments I am in denial and numb while other moments I radically accept the sadness of losing both of my parents.

Despite dealing with the grief and sadness of losing my parents I am thinking of all the little moments that they tried to make good happy memories for me and with me especially as a child to have as an adult. I have so many of those small moments that it is helping with the sadness. It’s those memories that are helping me accept the fact that my relationship with my parents had been rocky over the years and that we work through a good chunk of the issues we had. I am so happy that I was able to work through some issues I had with my parents.

I do not have anything else to discuss or write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Sad News, Once Again

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! It is Saturday evening here in Seattle and I am at a loss of words as I found out this past Wednesday that my dad died in hospice Tuesday night in his sleep. I didn’t post sooner because last Sunday marked two months since my mom died and last Saturday was my mom’s funeral. I don’t know how to feel right now but I have been mostly numb.

My mom’s funeral went well and was lovely. I saw my brother which was awesome but I wish it wasn’t due to my mom’s funeral. The urn my mom’s ashes are in is absolutely beautiful. My uncle and is “sweetie” did a wonderful job planning the funeral.

As far as my dad goes, my grandpa is struggling with the loss of my dad. My uncles and grandpa planned the funeral and it is in a week and half and I am glad I don’t have to wait two months for his funeral like I did for my mom’s. It is just really hard that my dad died two months and two days after my mom.

I do not have much more to discuss or write about in this particular blog post because it is too hard to write right now because I miss my parents. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

At Odds With Myself on How to Help Someone I Graduated High School With

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am still unable to sleep for some reason. Since I have know idea of why I can’t sleep, I am not going to fret about it. It is most likely, as my psychiatric nurse practitioner says, “treatment resistant insomnia.” Weather it is insomnia or poor sleep hygiene or being off kilter from my job working nights, I can’t sleep.

Since I have not been able to sleep, one of the things I have been doing is scrolling Facebook. As I was scrolling Facebook, someone I went to high school with messaged me privately. This person isn’t exactly a friend but is on my friends list.

Anyway, this friend was born into wealth and finds themselves at odds with their parents. Since they are at odds with their parents and has no job, they are now trying to figure out how to live the life they are use to. I guess their parents have “cut them off” from their trust fund until they are able to live on their own with the help of their parents for two years. My friend really hasn’t held down a job and their parents paid for everything including all their bills. We have been out of high school for twenty plus years and they have not learned how to fend for themselves. This “friend” reached out to me because they know I “know how to live poor” since have lived in poverty most of my life.

I asked my friend if they have a place to stay. My friend said they can stay at their parents place till the end of the year as long as they pay one hundred dollars month for rent and get a job to save up money to get their own place to live. I gave this friend suggestions on the types of jobs they may be able to get during this time and they turned down every suggestion. I also gave them numbers to certain agencies to be able to get food stamps and such. I even offered to go to the nearest DSHS office with them when they open up. My “friend” said “no, it will be an embarrassment if I go near my parents house especially with you.” I informed them out the system worked and that if they want help they need to learn how to deal with the “embarrassment.” This friend stated “I don’t need any freebies. I just need my parents to give me my trust fund money and then I won’t have to depend on the government like you do.” I got upset by this and informed them that as soon as they are ready for my help then don’t hesitate to reach out. I realized that this person just wanted someone to empathize with them and tell them what they want to hear. I have some empathy for this person but I am not going to tell them what they want to hear.

I am at odds with myself as if I should have even offered up my assistance to help this person when they realize what needs to be done to take care of themselves. I am at odds because I can see this as a possible toxic relationship and me carrying the weight of this person. I want to help but I don’t know if this person will ever realize they are responsible for themselves as they have been spoiled their entire lives and taken care of by their parents. I am feeling like I am being judgement of this person and their family and it has me feeling bad about myself. But then again, this person was extremely judgmental for me in high school due to me living in poverty. Anyway, that shouldn’t be the reason I am so judgmental of the person.

I have plenty more to say about the above topic but I am getting angry over the situation and need to stop for now. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you are reading my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has great Tuesday ahead of them. Peace Out, World!!!

Just Another Post w/Random Sh*t

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! It is mostly a typical Monday for me. I, mostly a typical Monday as a couple things today aren’t so typical for me. Both of the things that aren’t that typical involve both of my parents.

Lets start with my mom. Today is her 63rd birthday. A birthday I wasn’t sure was going to happen more times I can count due to her addiction to drugs and alcohol. I feared for her life more of her addiction to drugs than alcohol because that seems to be the thing she goes to when things get too stressful for her. Even though I set some clear boundaries with in regards to talking with her on the phone, I did call her to wish her a happy birthday. She is my mom and I love her. If I were a parent, I would want my kid to make an exception in this case. My mom was happy I called her and thanked me for as well as thanked me for her birthday present.

Now on to my other parent, my dad. As I have informed you in other blog post my dad’s health hasn’t been the best and he is in the hospital. I have good news about my dad and his health. He is getting out of the hospital tomorrow (Tuesday). I am so grateful he is getting out of the hospital tomorrow and that he is in better health.

As much as I love both of my parents, I am beyond grateful that I learned about recovery from both of them. Granted my mom is not in active recovery while my dad is, I still learned about recovery from both of them. If it wasn’t for seeing them in their addiction as a way to deal with symptoms of their mental health challenges it made me acutely aware of how I don’t want to deal with any of my problems including my own mental health challenges. Even though I never had an addiction to drugs or alcohol I did end up having different unhealthy ways of coping with my problems and mental health challenges.

The unhealthy ways of coping are the reason why I learned how to make sure I do good self care. There are many ways I do good self care. One of the ways I do good self care is to take my meds. In fact I have to go pick up my refills today. While I am out and about one of the things I will also do is go buy some incense. I find incense soothing.

In fact one of the things I plan on doing later is to burn incense while I read a book called “How to Be an Antiracist.” I am really enjoying the book. I am learning so much more than I expected regarding race and how to be an ally from this book than I ever realized I could. I hope to learn more as I continue to read this book. In fact have more books about race I am going to be reading. Any way to educate myself about other experience is a way to become a better ally and friend.

I do not have much else to talk about. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great Monday. I also hope everyone has a great work week ahead of them. Don’t forget to do good self care. Peace Out, World!!!