Tag Archives: Reading

Rough Moment With Missing My Grandma

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! I am having a rough moment. A rough moment with missing my grandma. I miss my grandma’s voice. I miss her smile. I miss her laugh. I miss her very much.

Something that I am going to do after I am done with this post is read. For me reading has been a tool that I am relying to help me escape from the reality of the pain I am in. Yes, I do allow myself to feel the pain no matter how difficult it may be. I just need some way to escape and reading is a healthy way to do it.

Thank you so very much for reading my many depressing post lately. Peace Out, World.

Middle of the Night Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! It is exactly twelve midnight in my corner of the world. I’m not sure if I will be able to sleep tonight but I hope I will be able to. As a precaution I came up with a plan to keep myself occupied if I am unable to sleep.

The plan is to do some art. Most likely some collaging. Collaging a poem or two or maybe more. It seems to be something I’ve been enjoying quite a bit the last few days. I might make one in memory of my grandma.

Another thing I have planned is to read my book Ship of Magic by Robin Hobb. Yes, it’s taking a while for me to read but am enjoying it quite a bit. I will also be reading Wonder Woman comic books.

Speaking of Wonder Woman, I am doing a Wonder Woman jigsaw puzzle. It’s a one thousand piece puzzle and love the challenge.

Thank you for reading. Have a good night everyone an Peace Out, World!!!

It’s Been A Long Week

Posted on by Gertie

Happy Friday, World!!! As many of you know its been a long week for me. My grandma died on Wednesday. It’s been quite hard for me deal with the grief. Dealing with the loss of my grandma is quite painful.

Gilbert, my therapist, and I talked about the pain, I’m dealing with regarding my grandma’s death. We discussed ways on how I can remember my grandma. I came up with the idea of a tattoo. I love tattoos and hope I can find one to remember my grandma by.

Something else Gilbert and I discussed was what I can do to have some structure this weekend as well as how I am going do some good self care. We talked about blogging and journaling to help with the processing part of my grandma’s death. We also talked about doing art the help me express my emotions. Reading books and comics also came up to help me escape reality in a healthy way for an hour or two at a time. We also discussed music and doing some workbooks.

Doing good self care is key to my recovery and one of those things is to go and eat something. So, I am going to go and get some dinner. Happy Friday. Peace Out, World!!!

Friday Morning Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is seven fifteen  in morning in my corner of the world. I didn’t get much sleep last night because two of my neighbors were arguing last night. When they weren’t arguing they were pounding on each other’s doors and just making it miserable for the rest of us who live on my floor.

I personally think I would have gotten more sleep if I my neighbors weren’t being jerks to each other. In fact, my neighbors yelling at each other severely triggered my PTSD. Almost severely enough to where it nearly put me into crisis mode.

Thankfully, I was able to prevent crisis mode by using my DBT Skills. If it weren’t for my skills I don’t know what I would be doing. I put on my headphones and listened to music to drown out my neighbors screaming while I read. Both of these skills helped me most of the night and didn’t put me into crisis mode.

Another skill that helps me is reading the news paper while drinking some hot tea. Like every day, there was only bad news. Apparently, there is suppose to be a storm coming to Seattle. Not sure if it’s going to happen as it appears that anytime a storm is expected it never happens.

Thank you for reading. Happy Friday!!! Peace Out, World!!!

 

 

Thursday Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! As much as I am grieving, I have realized that the pain will take awhile to subside. As much as I want the pain to go away I have been doing a lot of things to distract myself from the pain.

The main thing I have been doing is reading. I have been reading Ship of Magic by Robin Hobb. I am taking a while to read it but I am enjoying the book. I have been reading Wonder Woman comic books as well. Reading is helping me get out of my head so I don’t have to deal with the pain. The pain of loosing my grandma.

Another thing that has been helpful is the support I am getting from my friends. Friends that have been quite helpful many times especially the last year. In times of loss you realize who your true friends are.

Thank you for reading. Have great night everyone and Peace Out, World!!!

Missing Grandma

Posted on by Gertie

Gooding Evening, World!!! I missing my grandma very much right now. I wish her death wasn’t so fucking painful. So painful that I have become numb. Numb to the emotional pain.

Pain I know I will get through with the help of my DBT skills. Skills like art and reading. Art helps me express my emotions while reading help me get out of my head for while.

I will first do some art. I most likely will color. Coloring is quite soothing for me. I will probably also paint.

After some art I’ll cuddle up in my pajamas with the quilt my grandma made me and read. Read the book I’ve been reading for while but still enjoying.

First and for most I need to get going so I can get something to eat. Thanks for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

I Can’t Sleep, Again

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! I’m having trouble sleeping again. Not exactly why I can’t sleep but I have my theories and it can be any combination of things.

One of the reasons why I think I can’t sleep tonight is because of the death of my grandma. My grandma’s death is hitting me harder than I thought it would. Every time I look around my apartment I see my grandma. I see her in pictures. I see her in the baby blanket she made me. I see her in the quilt she made me. I see her pretty much everywhere.

So, I’ve been wrapping myself up my quilt that she had made me for my 25th birthday. I’m feeling closer to her as I wrap myself up in my quilt that she made me. I feel her love. I know she is my guardian angel now.

Thanks for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Once Again, Sleepless in Seattle

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is ten minutes after two in the morning in my corner of the world. It is the typical rainy Seattle weather as I sit here at my laptop blogging. I don’t have much new to say except once the Olympics are over with I will now longer have cable. It’s just not something that is needed and cost a shit load of money. Money that is not worth the customer service.

Not having television means that Netflix and Hulu will my consumer ship with T.V. shows and movies. Plus not having television will allow me to read more as well as do other enjoyable activities.

Activities such as art. I am looking forward to doing more art. Art that will help me express my emotions while reading will help me get myself out of my head.

Plus, I will be able to have an excuse to play my flute more. I am so looking forward to having time without television to play my flute.

I use television as an excuse to not do shit that is helpful such as reading, playing my flute, and so on.

I should get going and attempt to try and get some sleep. Peace Out, World!!!

Feeling Slightly Better

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! I’m feeling slightly better than my last post. I owe it to taking a shower, eating and DBT skills. Skills that have helped me a lot the last fourteen and a half years.

One of the things I did after my shower was do some collaging. A collaged a couple of poems. So, I combined art and poetry into one skill or at least this time around. I love being able to combine my skills into one as it is quite helpful.

Another thing I did was read. I read the rest of the news paper that I didn’t finish reading this morning. I also read a little bit of the book that is taking me a long while to read. I am enjoying it though.

I did all these skill while listening to music. Music helps a great deal. I think after I am done blogging, I’m going to play the flute.

I hope everyone has a great night. Peace Out, World!!!!

Ugh!!! Frustration & Other Stuff

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It’s been a frustrating morning. I went to the social security office today and have to go back tomorrow. It’s difficult enough to go when you don’t have an anxiety disorder and/or PTSD but add one or both conditions it makes it that much more difficult.

As difficult as social security is for me to go to and to deal with them, dealing with the grief of my grandma being in hospice care is that much more difficult. Knowing my grandma is going to pass away sooner than later is painful and I don’t want that to happen yet I know it is a part of life. Death is painful to deal with yet when you are aware of someone about to pass away you tend to appreciate the person more as well as life in general.

Being more appreciative of my grandma now is a good thing and not taking her life for granted, I’m going to be visiting her. I’ll be taking some art supplies with me as well as music and books to keep me busy when my grandma sleeps. The art stuff I’ll be taking is collaging and coloring supplies as its the easy to travel with on the city bus and less messy for my grandparents home.

I should get going so I can go visit my grandma. I hope everyone has an awesome day. Peace Out, World