Tag Archives: Recovery

Venting My Frustrations

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! I am sitting here frustrated at friend, attempting to not get frustrated with him or the experience he is sharing with me via text. It does appear that he is getting frustrated with himself as well as me and my experience with a similar issue especially since it deals with Social Security and Medicaid. I understand where he is coming from and am frustrated for him. It just rubs me the wrong way when he (and others) demean my own experience. I’ve been dealing with Social Security since for twenty plus years and he only ten or so years. I’m feeling like since he is older than me he thinks I don’t know anything. I informed him of my frustration and he is more frustrated.

I’m thinking I need to put this conversation on hold with my friend so I can get some sleep or attempt to do so. I’m going to do some mindfulness and meditation to help me let go of some of this as it is not my issue to fix and I think my friend wants  me to “fix” it for him. This is where I know mindfulness will be helpful for me and my own recovery.

If it weren’t for me being in recovery I wouldn’t know about my own boundaries and that I need to use my DBT skills in this situation. One of which is Mindfulness. Another is to do get sleep and do good self care like blogging. Hell, mindfulness and meditation are good self care activities or at least for me they are.

It is almost one o’clock in the morning for me and I want to get some sleep. Have a good night everyone. I hope you all have some good sleep. Goodnight and don’t let the bed bugs bite. Peace Out, World!!!!

The Love Between Gertie & I

Posted on by jjuniorz

Hey! As Gertie mentioned last week, they want myself and Mama Bear to post every other Wednesday. I stepped up to the plate to post today and Mama Bear will do it next Wednesday.

I’ve decided to write about the love Gertie and I have. I originally met Gertie when she was found unconscious and unresponsive as well as barely breathing due to a suicide attempt. Gertie’s neighbor found them and called 911 when the engine company was called out to help Gertie. Fortunately, she survived that attempted suicide as well as a handful of others.

If it wasn’t for Gertie being survivor, I wouldn’t have become friends with them. Being friends with them is what helped me fall in with Gertie. Gertie has the endearing way about her that has people go to them as friends and for me it had me fall in love with them.

Thanks for reading. I hope this gives some insight of my love for Gertie. Have a great day.

Tuesday Afternoon, Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! I had my interview this morning. They were already running late at 8:30 in the morning but considering what I witnessed in the waiting room I understood. The interviewers were “impressed” how I handled the client crisis and helped with the other clients in the waiting room. I asked the other clients what music they liked and started playing music suggestions from my phone.  I was informed that it helped the need to deal with the crisis at hand without creating a bigger one. I wasn’t doing anything out of the norm for me. I was just doing what was needed at the time. In the interview they asked what ways I would handle a client in crisis in a treatment room. I said I would have art supplies available at hand. Again, I impressed them and wasn’t attempting to do so.

When I got home from the interview I turned on some music and did some art. Specifically, painting about recovery. Like I’ve said in other post, art helps me express my emotions and I must be feeling hopeful.

Thank you for reading. Have a great rest of the day. I know I will. Peace Out, World!!!

Looks Like I Might Be Able To Sleep

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! I’m realizing that I’m tired and might be able to sleep at some point tonight. I forgot to tell you in my last post that when I talked to Gilbert, we discussed the Photography course I’m take through WordPress. To find out that he too, likes to do photography. It’s nice to know that sometimes therapist can be human with you. It make them more real.

Speaking of being real, I’m thinking I should get going because I am falling asleep at my laptop and don’t have to fall asleep while posting. Thanks for reading. Peace Out, World!!

Ramblings About Work & Education

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I’ve been thinking about my future and what I want to do. Yes, I want to go back to work and plan on doing so when the opportunity  arises to do so. I’m wanting to go back to school to get an Associates and Bachelors degree at a local community college. The Associates would be in Social and Human services and the Bachelors would be in Applied Behavior Science. Both which would help me advance in my career.

I saw Gilbert today and we discussed the about education and work. He likes the idea that I am being future oriented. He also likes the fact that my depression symptoms are improving. He also talked about the hope I have with how things are going at the moment.

Thank you for reading. Peace out World!!!

Photo 1; Day 4: Bliss

Posted on by Gertie

Today’s topic was a little more difficult to do as I already talked about what gives me bliss and that is water. So I decided I would show you my tattoos again and what they mean to me.

1030151853The above picture is that of my semi-colon tattoo. For those who are site impaired it has a black out line and filled in with purple. It is on my inner wrist. I got this tattoo as reminder on how far I have come in my recovery and on what NOT to do when things get tough. That is to self-harm and/or attempt suicide.

IMG_0001The above picture is that of a tattoo of a butterfly. Its a doily, lacey type looking butterfly that is black outlined and no color. It is on my upper arm/shoulder and the butterfly resembles hope for me. It reminds me that through the darkness the butterfly goes through as caterpillar there becomes a beautiful being of a butterfly. So it resembles beauty through the darkness and hope.

Thank you for reading. Have a good work week everyone. Peace Out, World!!!

Sleepless, Once Again, in Seattle

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I’m Sleepless in Seattle, once again. Since, I am having trouble I decided to work on my workbook: The Queer & Transgender Resilience Workbook. I am finding this quite challenging for me as its really digging deep into who I am as a genderqueer non-conforming person. Stuff that I’ve been talking to both my therapist, Gilbert, and case manager about. They are helping me process what I need to while doing this workbook.

I also decided to start another self-help work book called The Mindfulness Workbook. It’s a beginners guide to overcoming fear and embracing compassion. I figured since one of my goals for 2018 was to increase my mindfulness and meditation skills. I am incorporating this into my daily practice now in the mornings.

Mindfulness seems to be helping me a great deal with my emotions and how I reacting to them and situations. Gilbert even mentioned it on Friday which shocked me as I wasn’t sure he was observing that.  It’s even helping my mental health symptoms.

Unfortunately, the lack of sleep is not helping with the mental health symptoms which is why I should get going. I think I will try to go and attempt to get some sleep. Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World

Weekly Plans

Posted on by Gertie

I almost forgot to do my weekly plans post. I did really well with what I planned for last week except for specific blog post and going to Social Security.  Here is what I have planned for this week and everything for today is already accomplished.

Sunday:

  • Blog. Well I’ve done this quite well as this is my sixth blog of the day.
  • Workbook. Done
  • One load of laundry. I did two loads
  • Buy new black dress shoes for interviews this week. Done
  • Get phone fixed. Done
  • Take out garbage. Done.

Monday:

  • See psychiatric nurse practitioner
  • Attend Knitting Group
  • Attend Art Group
  • See Gilbert for therapy
  • Workbook
  • Clean Kitchen and Entry way.
  • Blog

Tuesday:

  • Job interview
  • See Recovery Coach
  • Workbook
  • Clean Living Room
  • Blog

Wednesday:

  • Job interview
  • Therapy with Gilbert
  • Workbook
  • Continue Cleaning living room
  • Blog

Thursday:

  • Social Security
  • Workbook
  • Blog
  • Clean Bedroom

Friday:

  • Blog
  • Workbooks
  • Therapy with Gilbert
  • Clean Bedroom and bathroom

Saturday:

  • Blog
  • Workbook
  • Volunteer at Warm Line

I will be also visiting my grandma everyday I am able to. I hope everyone has a good week. Have a goodnight. Peace Out, World!!!

Underdog, No More

Posted on by Gertie

The Superbowl and the Eagles winning the Superbowl had me thinking. Had me thinking about my own life. A life worth living is a life worth fighting for. The Eagle fought like hell to win the Superbowl so I need to fight like hell for my recovery. A recovery that I’ve already have been fighting for and will continue to do so.

For me I’ve been an underdog my whole life because of my learning disabilities, mental health conditions/challenges, sexual orientation and gender identity. With all that I just mentioned, I’ve been the underdog my whole life. I’m still considered an “underdog” yet I’m advocating for myself to be the success I want to be in my life. A success I’ve had before and know I will have once again.

I guess, I am saying is I’m not going to be the victim any more and most definitely won’t be the underdog, no more. For me that will be advocating for myself. I will be advocating for others as well. I wont allow myself to be an underdog no more.

Thank you for reading. I hope the rest of your Sunday is a peaceful one. Goodnight and Peace Out, World!!!

Photography 1: Day 2; Street

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon World!!! Today is the second day of Photography; Developing Your Eye; Day Two. Today’s topic is street. Piggy backing on yesterdays theme of home and how I shared pictures of my neighborhood I’m going to discuss the “main” street of the neighborhood I live in.

IMG_0249University Way NE fondly known as the “Ave.” The story behind on why its call the “Ave” is because at one point in time the street was called 14th Ave NE and the business’s in the area wanted to bring more business to the area so it started calling it the “Ave.” The city decided to change the name of the street to University Way NE due to the reason that the University of Washington is in this neighborhood yet the “Ave.” stuck.

IMG_0252Looking South on the “Ave.”

IMG_0251

Looking North on the “Ave.”

So as I hope you enjoyed getting to know me a little more with both todays and yesterday’s post as I showed you around my neighborhood. I hope everyone has a good afternoon and good work week. Peace Out, World