Tag Archives: Sleep

The Elephant In The Room

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am awake at three o’clock in the morning due to not being able to sleep. Both my insomnia and depression are acting up. Not sure why either are acting up but they are.

When I started to write this post I didn’t know what I was going to write about. So lets discuss the elephant in the room; the two celebrities who died by suicide, Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain. Many people are mourning their sudden and untimely deaths. People are grieving over this and I don’t blame them as it is sad news.

As sad as it is to hear about someone’s death especially when it is death by suicide people start to discuss it a little bit more. I personally think we need to talk about both suicide and mental health conditions more so we can lessen the stigma that goes with it.

If anyone is in crisis and needs to talk the United States National Suicide Hotline is 1-800-273-8255. I know this number will work in the United States however I am unsure about the rest of the world. I wish I had other crisis numbers for other countries however I do not. Please if you are in a mental health crisis or thinking of killing yourself don’t hesitate to reach out to someone.

Thank you for reading!!! Peace Out, World!!!

Good Morning, World

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I woke up in a depressive state.  A state that I can get out of by the time DBT group happens at one in the afternoon. I am also having some pretty high anxiety at the moment. Anxiety and depression I don’t know why I am having. I have a theory or two but at this point in time I am attempting to do what I need to do to focus on getting out of this anxious and depressive mood.

I’ll hopefully be able to check-in with my therapist today as I think I will  need one due to the anxiety and the depression I am dealing with. I think I am dealing with them due to not getting very much sleep last night. Not sure why I didn’t get very much sleep but that is one of my theories about the anxiety and depression. Checking in with my therapist is something that will help me with this as I want to act effectively when I go to group.

I am looking forward attending DBT group as I am done with my homework. We had to do a chain analysis as well as a diary card. The diary card is no big deal but the chain analysis was the difficult part of the homework. I discussed it with my therapist and he admits it is a difficult part of my homework for the week.

Thank you for reading. Have a great Friday. Peace Out, World!!!

Happy Hump Day

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I have been awake since three thirty in the morning Seattle time. It is now five thirty in the morning Seattle time. I wish I could go back to sleep however I am unable to do so. I wish sleep came easily for but it doesn’t.

It is hump day (Wednesday) as many of you know. This means the week is half over. It is hard to believe how fast time flies even when you don’t have much going on in your life. I like Wednesdays as they are a reflective day for me. Not sure why they tend to be reflective but they are.

I am not really sure what I am going to do today as I have nothing really planned. I know that I need to do some lite housework so that is on the to do list. As much as I dislike doing house work, it gives me a sense of accomplishment after it is done.

I’m also most likely going to be reading. I am not sure what book I will be reading but I will be reading. It helps me get out of my head. I have a gut feeling that reading will be the go to skill I will be using today as I am really in my head at the moment.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Good Morning, World

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I got some sleep last night and woke up on this god awful hour because Lil Gertie woke me up form a nightmare. She woke me up with a like on the nose. With her waking me up from the worst part of the nightmare from happening she has done her job and I didn’t have to train her to do that.

I have quite a lot planned today. First I go see my doctor a ten this morning. I am looking forward to seeing her as she has been my doctor for nine years. She is going to do a check up after the attempt to take my own life last week. My doctor is awesome.

I will all so be starting Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) back up today. I am looking forward to this as it gives me the structure and skills I need to help myself. I love being able to help myself with the skills I know how to do has well as the ones I will be learning.

I emailed my therapist about the PTSD stuff and how Lil Gertie has been helpful for me. I attempt to only email him when I think he needs to know something soon. As someone who worked in the mental health field I know from experience that I am more likely respond to an email verses a voicemail.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

 

 

It’s Been An Overall Good Day

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! Today, overall has been a good day despite not getting any sleep. I even attempted to take a nap when I got home from day treatment and seeing my therapist.

As I stated I saw my therapist today. We discussed my suicide attempt on Wednesday and talked about it in detail. We discussed how having a cat helped me make the decision to live and carry on with my life. We talked about the three groups I plan on attending especially the DBT group I start back up tomorrow. We both agree that DBT group will be extremely important for me to attend. I showed him my scrap book and he appeared surprised that I was will to share something “so personal” with him. We talked about how arts and crafts have been helpful to me. In fact he wants me to continue to attend art group as he “feels like it helps” me express my emotions. He is going to sit in on Art group on Monday.

I see my doctor tomorrow and my doctor called me today to check in on me. We talked a little about my suicide attempt. She just wanted to make sure I was doing better and to make sure I’ll be going to see her tomorrow. I confirmed that I would be there tomorrow. We will be discussing the suicide attempt even though it was more than a week ago.

I am grateful that I am not suicidal and that I have a good support system that checks in with me. My therapist, doctor, and psychiatric nurse practitioner all agree that I am doing okay at the moment. They are talking with each other and agree that me being out of the hospital for psych reasons is a good thing.

Thank you so much for reading. It is greatly appreciated. Have a great evening. Peace Out, World!!!!

Morning Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I haven’t gotten any sleep and I am okay with that as I was able to spend quality time with Lil Gertie. As tired as I am, I am grateful for the time I had with Lil Gertie. She is an awesome lil kitty.

When I wasn’t spending time with Lil Gertie, I was doing one of my workbooks. Specifically, I was working on my Pathways to Recovery workbook. It looks at mental health recovery as a whole and how we can develop our strengths as well as some skill to be in recovery.

If you been reading my blog on the regular basis you know that my recovery means the world to me. I do workbooks to help me along my recovery process. I am not doing the workbooks to replace therapy, I am doing them in addition to therapy.

Since we are now on the topic of therapy, I am seeing my therapist today. I am seeing him for our new scheduled time for Thursdays at eleven in the morning. He is really cool and encourages me to build my support system by getting out of my box.

Something that has been helping me that last few days is scrap booking. I’m really enjoying doing it as it gives me something to do. It also gives me something to look at during the process of making it as well as when I am finished with it. When I look at it, it is helpful by giving me hope. Hope by helping me remember the good things in my life.

I think I am going to get going. I am going to watch the news and get ready for the day ahead. I hope everyone has a good day. Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Sleepless In Seattle

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am sleepless in Seattle once again. It has nothing to do with Lil Gertie wanting to play at this hour of the day. It has everything to do with the insomnia that I am experiencing. Insomnia sucks!!!

Since my last post, I have not only attempted to sleep but I have read. I am reading about Buddhism. It is helping me be at peace with myself and the world as a whole. The more I read about Buddhism, the more I realize it is the right spiritually for me. Having faith in something is quite helpful for me as an individual as well as my recovery.

I am going to go now. I am going to play with Lil Gertie as she appears to be playful at the moment. Peace Out, World!!!

Laughter In Seattle

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is just after twelve thirty in the morning in my corner of the world. I just got done watching The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon. Watching The Tonight Show helps me be able to get things off my mind by laughing. Laughing also helps me get to sleep.

I think I am going to read for an hour and then go to bed. Not sure which book I am going to be reading as I am in the middle of reading multiple books. I might even look over my scrapbook as I have written in that. It might be help to put me in a good mindset to sleep.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Afternoon Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! I have been sleeping most of the day. I didn’t sleep very well last night so I took a nap. A much needed nap. A nap where Lil Gertie cuddled up to me. She is still napping.

I did buy Lil Gertie a kitty bed, kitty litter and some wet food. She is sleeping in her be only because I put it in her favorite place. She appears to like the bed. I don’t hear her complaining about it.

I am not sure what I might do after blogging the post. I think I might work on my scrap book as I have been enjoying doing it. I am looking forward to showing it to people including my therapist. My grandpa is eager to see the scrap book after he gets done with his trip. I even painted a picture in my scrap book.

I don’t have much more to say so I guess, I will end the post. Thanks so much for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Busy Lil Bee Being In Recovery

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I haven’t been back to sleep since my last post. I have been busy since my last post. I read a little bit. I read about Buddhism. If you regularly read my blog you know I have been looking into Buddhism. I am looking into it as I haven’t really been searching spiritual wise the last couple of years. Spirituality is a part of being in recovery. Being in recovery is something I have aspired to be and have been for quite some time. Yes, I have had bumps in the road. Yes, I have fallen however I have picked myself up and wiped myself off.

Being in recovery means doing things that are difficult. For me doing workbooks is quite challenging for me as it pushes me to aspire to be the person I am meant to be. This morning, I have chosen to work on the workbook that focuses me being queer and resilient. Being able to push myself with my gender identity, queerness and resiliency goes right along with my values in my personal recovery path with mental health challenges.

Being in recovery is a major deal for me. I was informed that I would never be in recovery from a mental health condition because my symptoms were so severe. Never tell me I can’t do something because I end up proving you wrong with being able to do it.

Thank you for reading. Have a nice Wednesday. Peace Out, World!!!