Tag Archives: Writing

Dealing With My Anger

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World (again)!!! This is my third blog post in a matter of a four and a half hour time period. If you read my last blog post, you know why I am so freaking angry. After my last blog post, I tried to go to sleep but sadly my anger got in the way of me sleeping.

Since anger got in the way of me sleeping, I decided to journal about my anger. Journaling or writing about my anger is quite helpful for me and my mental health recovery journey. The reason journaling is about my anger is helpful for my recovery journey, it is because I tend to stuff my anger. When I stuff my anger, it tends to boil, and I end up emotionally exploding on people or I end up self-harming. Thankfully, I have not self-harmed in so long that I don’t remember that last time I did it which is good thing. Sadly, I have emotionally exploded and on people that I love and care about. So, journaling about my anger is form of harm reduction for me. Journaling about anger is a form of harm reduction for me because it allows me to not stuff my emotions as well as to emotionally explode on paper and not with people. Not emotionally exploding on people is a good thing.

After being done with emotionally exploding on paper I decided to do some artwork. The type of artwork I decided to do was diamond art/painting. It is the same diamond art/painting that I have been working on for the last few days which is the tuxedo cat in a tree. Doing diamond art/painting is a long process that teaches patience to people who don’t have any and is very enjoyable to do. I really love doing diamond art/painting because it is fun and is teaching me patience.

I do not have anything else to discuss or write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Nightmares = No Sleep In Seattle

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is a few minutes after three o’clock in the morning here in Seattle. I am sadly unable to sleep partly due to insomnia and partly due PTSD. It took me forever and a day to fall asleep and sadly got woken up by a nightmare once I was asleep. Having insomnia and PTSD sucks shit.

I had a challenging time falling asleep due to insomnia as well as some pretty intense trauma responses from PTSD symptoms. I am pretty sure that the trauma response from PTSD symptoms was due to the fact of the family drama last night that I wrote about in my last post.

Since the lack of sleep and waking up from a nightmare due to PTSD symptoms, I realized that I was angry about it all so I ended up journaling. It appears that the journaling is about my anger is helpful for me. I am glad I am taking my therapist’s suggestion regarding writing down my anger as well as calling friends afterwards. In fact, I called one of my closest friends and talked to her at length. I then called my partner, Junior who came over to my place and we talked at great length about everything. I am beyond grateful for my close friend as well as my partner.

In fact Junior is going to stay the rest of the night here at my place to give me moral support. He is helping me color my gigantic giant coloring poster. As we colored my cat, Billie was in my lap. In fact Billie is still in my lap as I write this particular blog post. After I am done writing this particular blog post, I will continue coloring with Junior as my cat, Billie sleeps in my lap.

I do not have anything else to discuss or write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Family Drama + PTSD = A Sh!tty Trauma Response

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! I am currently dealing with some shitty and intense trauma response due to family drama and PTSD symptoms. I am pretty sure the family drama with my aunt is what caused the PTSD symptoms and ultimately the trauma response that I had.

This will be a long post due to it being a long story. As I have posted before, my mom died two days before Thanksgiving Day here in the United States. It’s been extremely challenging for me for many reasons. Sadly, I posted an angry and pain filled post on my Facebook wall under my given name which started some family drama. I apologized many times to many people in my life especially my family. I know I hurt many people and most understand and have forgiven me or at least started to forgive me in their own time and own way except one aunt. That one aunt is the person I offered to pay for their train ticket from Seattle to where my mom’s funeral is going to be which is Olympia at the end of this month. I offered to pay for her train ticket due to her having car issues as well as having some financial issues and wanted to be helpful. My aunt lives in the Bremerton area and could easily take the ferry from Bremerton to Seattle and take the train. So, I have to text back and forth with her a handful of times regarding tickets which leads to the drama this evening.

I texted my aunt about the train tickets close to 8:30 this evening Seattle time. She informed me that she doesn’t need me to pay for her tickets and is unsure if she is going to take the train if she does she will pay for her own. She also stated that she doesn’t respond to phone calls or text after 7:30 unless it is urgent. I texted an apology and let her know that I usually text people after 8:00 due to peoples bedtime routines and that I won’t do it again. She then texted me to next her again tonight which I wasn’t going to do nor will I do now that I know her boundaries. Anyway, this aunt then calls me up and screams at me and has mentioned every thing I have done wrong in her eyes that she heard through the “grapevine” or witnessed yet she hasn’t been in my life very much for various reasons. She brought up so painful shit that I experienced which caused some anger in me as well as an anxiety attack or two. I ended up hanging up on her and blocking her phone number temporarily for my own sanity.

Since my aunt caused so much anger I did what my therapist had suggested and wrote out my anger. I wrote my anger and anxiety in my journal I bought myself for Christmas. So, I wrote six pages in my journal regarding my anger and trauma response regarding my aunt calling and screaming at me. After journaling I reached out to some of my natural support system of friends like my therapist suggested in therapy. I reached out to two friends who were happy to talk with me and I am so grateful for their listening ear.

After journaling and talking with two friends I of course cuddled with my cat, Billie and as I am writing this particular blog post Billie my cat is still cuddling with me. I think after I am done with this particular blog post I will color as I love to color.

I know my mom wouldn’t want all this drama after her death or regarding her funeral. I just wish she was still alive. I miss my mom so very much. I hope she knew how much I loved her even though we didn’t get along at times.

I do not have much more to write about or discuss in this particular blog post except to say I am sorry for posting about my family drama and my anger. I do want to thank you the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Check-In

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It is that time in the week that I do my weekly check-in. I know it has been a few weeks since I have done a weekly check-in and I hope you can forgive me for not doing one. I do not have an excuse for not doing one and I am not using the holidays as an excuse.

As all of you know this past week we had New Years Day. I watched the drone and firework show that was held at the Space Needle. I stayed home and watched on television so I didn’t have to be out in the cold with a bunch of strangers. I was at home in my pajamas with my cat, Billie bringing in the New Year watching an awesome firework and drone show that was at the Space Needle. I enjoyed it and I am grateful that I was at home with my cat, Billie.

New Years is also a time when people reflect on their lives and how they can change in a positive way. I do this throughout the year and New Years is just a good reminder to do that reflections are a good thing to improve myself.

One of the ways I am wanting to improve myself is to continue to go to therapy. In fact I went on Thursday for an appointment with my therapist. We discussed how I can deal with some uncomfortable emotions like anxiety and anger. We discussed how writing down my feelings can be helpful which reminded me to show her the journal I bought myself for Christmas. She liked the fact that I already had the idea of writing down my emotions as well as thinking that my journal is pretty. She also thinks that writing down my feelings especially my anger is a form of harm reduction. She thinks this due to the fact that I tend to stuff my anger and then emotionally explode by screaming and yelling when I’ve had the last straw when something makes me angry. So my therapist thinks writing when I am angry is a good thing and she suggested that afterwards to reach out to a trusted natural support person. I really like the idea of reaching out to a friend after writing about my anger.

I do not have anything else to discuss or write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader continuing to read my blog, I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Brief Blog About Blogging

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! If you read my blog regularly you have probably noticed that I have been doing daily prompts. I made a goal for this year to blog more and I feel like if I do daily prompts five days a week on weekdays then this will help with the goal. I will still be doing my Weekly Plans post on Sunday mornings and my Weekly Check-In post on Saturday evening. I know I have said and written something similar many times and I hope that I can actually accomplish this. I know blogging daily is not going to be maintainable in the long run but I hope if I do it for a good month then maybe I will have a good grasp on blogging at a more sustainable pace that better suits me. I just want to get into the habit of blogging regularly.

I do not have much more to write about or discuss in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Plans on Blogging

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! I know I have written about blogging more to keep you the reader more interested in reading my blog. The ways I have started to do this is doing Weekly Plans on Sunday mornings, Caturday with Billie on Saturday mornings and Weekly Check-Ins on Saturday evenings. I realize that blogging more than two days a week with three posts a week will need to be increased. I thought about doing daily prompts starting this Monday on weekdays which is Monday through Friday. I plan on doing daily prompts that WordPress provides. I hope they keep you the reader interested in continuing to read my blog. I will also write other posts as well on whatever moves me to write a blog post.

I realize this is a brief post as I do not have much more to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader continue reading my blog. If it was not for you the reader continuing to read my blog, I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Lack of Blogging = Regular Blogging Schedule

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! My blogging or the lack there of has me thinking about creating a schedule to blog at least two to three times a week. I plan on blogging Sunday mornings and posting Weekly Plans. On Saturday Mornings, I plan on doing Caturday with Billie and Friends which will be pictures of my cat Billie and cats from friends as well as cats I work with at my volunteer job at PAWS Cat City. Then on Saturday evenings, I will do a Weekly Check-In. I figure that if I schedule blogging into my calendar that I will keep you my reader at least semi-interested in continuing to read my blog.

Another thing I am considering doing happens to be daily prompts. Not sure when I will start them much less how long I will do them and the frequency. I most likely will do daily prompts that WordPress does as they tend to be good prompts in my opinion a good portion of the time.

I do not have much more to discuss or write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

My Blogging Is Slacking, Again

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I have noticed that my blogging is slacking once again. One of my New Year’s goals for this year (2024) is to blog on average three times a week. At this point in time, it is my goal to put into my schedule to blog.

The way I will schedule my end is to go back to what I started at the beginning of the year. That is that on Sunday mornings, I will do Weekly Plans. On Wednesday evenings, I will do Hump Day Update. On Saturday mornings I will do Caturday With Billie featuring pictures of Billie and occasionally other cats. On Saturday evenings, I will do Weekly Check-Ins.

Another goal of mine is to hopefully start doing daily prompts. I am hoping to start doing daily prompts in the next week or two. The reason being about starting daily prompts is so, I can plan it into my daily schedule.

I do not have much more to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you, the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Plans to Get Back in the Swing of Things Regarding Blogging

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I know I have done this quite often and have either never started or have started but not finished but I am going to attempt to get back in the swing of blogging on a more regular basis. There are many ways I can do this and hope to follow through with what I plan on doing to get back in the swing of things in regards to blogging.

In fact, I have already started two different ways of getting back in the swing of things regarding blog. The first thing I’ve been doing is Weekly Plans every Sunday morning. Weekly Plans happen to be the plans I have for the week. The second thing I have been doing is Weekly Check-Ins every Saturday evening. Weekly Check-Ins on Saturday evening is just doing a check in about how the week went especially if I don’t blog at all during the week.

A thing that I am thinking about doing is doing a book review after reading a book. I thought about maybe blogging after every chapter but then I feel like that both reading and blogging would end up becoming a chore and I don’t want that. I don’t want that because reading and blogging is a form of self care for me. So, that means I decided to do a book review after each book I read. I’m thinking about maybe doing some form of review as I read a book but it won’t be after each chapter.

So the next idea I have is something that I worry about actually doing and completing. I am planning on doing free courses that WordPress offers through Blogging University. I plan on doing Finding Everyday Inspiration first as it is the longest course I am doing. It is twenty days and I am not sure when I am going to start this. I hope to start it within the next week or two. The next course I am planning on doing is Developing Your Eye I and it is a ten day course. After doing the course Developing Your Eye I, I plan on doing Intro to Poetry. It is also a ten day course. After doing Intro to Poetry, I plan on doing Developing Your Eye II. It too, is a ten day course. I want to do these four course to not only help me get back in the swing of blogging but to help you stay interested in reading my blog.

Hell, the whole reason, I am wanting to do everything I have mentioned is to keep you the reader interested in continuing to read my blog. I know it might be somewhat selfish on my end to be doing this so I don’t lose any readers. Not only that, I know what it is like to read a blog on the regular basis and then the blogger just stops or has big gaps which has me not having any interest in that blog.

Before ending this blog post, I do plan on continue to blog about everyday stuff. Everyday stuff such as something similar to this post or post regarding my sleep or work and other such stuff.

Well, that is all I have to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. I greatly appreciate you reading my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Getting Back in the Groove of Blogging

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! As I mentioned in my first blog of this year (2023) one of my goals is to blog an average of three times a week. One of those ways is to write my Weekly Plans every Sunday morning. Another way I plan on accomplishing this goal is to write a Weekly Check In every Saturday evening.

There is another way that I plan to get back in the groove of blogging more frequently. The way I plan to do that is to start doing free courses through WordPress’s Blogging University. The first course I plan on taking is Finding Everyday Inspiration which is twenty days. The second course I plan on taking is Developing Your Eye I and is seven days. The third course I plan on taking is Intro to Poetry and it is also seven days. The fourth course I am taking is Developing Your Eye II and it is also seven days. That equals forty-one days straight of blogging.

In all honesty, I hope I can stick to this plan especially since I am working full time once again. I am planning on starting this on Sunday, January 22nd, 2023. I am waiting to do this so I can put it into my calendar as I am working on time management as part of my New Years goals as well as making sure I get more into the swing of things at my new job.

I do not have much more to say or discuss in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!