Tag Archives: Writing

A Creative Type of Day Due to Mindfulness

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! Well, it must be one of those days where I am able to be creative and I am enjoying this immensely. I am extremely grateful that I have been able to be creative today.

One of the ways I have been creative today is by painting. I, finished two painting that I am really proud of. In fact of the paintings my cat accidentally helped me with. She stepped in some paint and then walked on the canvas which I think is very cool and unique. Sadly, I had to give her a quick bath in the sink before paint fully dried on her paws and fur. She is not a big fan of taking a bath but at least she “helped” me create an awesome painting even though that was not her intention. Maybe, one day I will share this painting with you someday.

Another way I have been creative today is that I have written several poems. Something I love to do yet struggle to do because I never feel like they are good enough. Sadly, I tend to throw away a good portion of my poetry due to the fact that I don’t think they are worthy of being read. I have been having others such as a good friend of mine hold on to my poetry as I hope that someday I can create a book full of my poetry.

Another way I have been creative today is play my flute. I love playing my flute and just like coloring, it is form of mindfulness for me. Playing the flute has been a life saver for me since I started playing at age twelve. It has helped and still helps me with my mental health challenges. It also helped me make friends in school as I was in the junior high and high school bands. And being in band is what helped me graduate high school. So you can say that playing the flute helped me graduate high school even though I am really not that good at playing it.

I think the reason why I have been so creative today is because I have done several mindfulness exercises today. I have done some much mindfulness today because of my anxiety and am learning that mindfulness not only helps with my anxiety but helps me be creative. I am grateful that I am slowly getting back into mindfulness on the daily basis.

I do not have much else to say. I hope to blog again this evening and if not then tomorrow. Have a great rest of you day. Peace Out, World!!!

An Update on How Life is Going

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It has been about a week and a half since my last post and I have been dealing with a great deal. First and fore most my mental health hasn’t been the best and sadly my job is not helping. In fact my job is not the best fit for me because it is an on call twelve hour night shift position and reeks havoc on my already horrific sleep schedule. Plus not knowing from day to day if I am going to need to drop every to go home and get some sort of sleep to be able be able to semi function at work and for me this is not helpful. Sadly, I am the only on call for this position so I get called in more times than I am able to work per my disability. I realize it is not my colleagues fault nor my direct supervisors fault as none of those individuals are the ones that have a direct say on who gets hired. And on that note, I am going to be putting in my two week notice at some point in the next couple of days due to the fact I know this job is not the best fit for me especially when it comes to sleep. Not only has my job been affecting my sleep, it has been affecting my physical health and this not a good thing. Worst of all it has been affecting my mental health disability which is not a good thing.

As far my job affecting many areas of my life I have decided I will be turning in my two weeks notice in the next few days. I am not really wanting to do so but since it is effecting my mental health, sleep, health and mental health, it is the best thing for me to do. Yes, I will be looking for a new job even if it is going back to working at a grocery for the time being.

Another thing that has happened is that the Beginning Comics Storytelling art class I have been taking has ended this past Friday (June 14th) which was really sad for me because I really enjoyed it. The best part of the class that everyone in the class got a copy of the comic book we put together. It has various types of comics in it as everyone had their own comic to put into the book and it is really cool. It is something I will cherish for the rest of my life. I am really going to miss my classmates as well.

I do not have much more to say so I am going to end this post. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading and/or following my blog as it is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope you all have an awesome day, Hell, I hope your week goes extremely well. Again, thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Dissociative State = Creative Brain & A Loving Cat Wanting to Help

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!!! Why in the fuck do I have be dissociating at the moment especially since I am wanting to be in a creative groove. I think, I will be in the creative groove. My art may not come out like I would want but it might turn out better. As for writing I can incorporate it to some of the art I am doing. Kind of like poetry. I could even work on my storytelling comics and use some collaging. I have so many idea when it come to my creative side.

I think when I am out of this dissociated state, I will have some awesome art work and writings that might have some poetry. May my next post will be the art work I have done or the poetry that was written.

I hope that I can be creative after this post. That is my goal. Thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

A Busy Friday Ahead of Me

Posted on by Gertie

Happy Friday Morning, World!!! It is a not so pleasant Friday morning here in Seattle, weather wise. It is one of those days that you just want to stay inside and curl up with a good book while drinking a nice cup of hot chocolate. Sadly, I won’t be able this as I have a busy day ahead of me.

First and fore most I will be going go see my doctor for our regular appointment. My doctor and I have pretty regular appointments to help me stay out of the emergency room for both physical and mental health. It appears to be helping along with seeing my therapist and psychiatrist.

After I see my doctor, I have an appointment with my job coach. Actually, she is my employment specialist but most people understand that term so I just tell people she is my job coach. Today we will be working on finding jobs that are  better fit for me schedule wise.

Since it is Friday, I will be attending my art class. The class that is teaching how to tell stories through comics. The class is called “Beginning Comics Storytelling.” I love this class because it involves art, comics and writing which I enjoy doing all three. I will attending the class after seeing my job coach.

On my way home from the art class, I will be picking up some meds. As much as I highly dislike taking meds, I realize that my meds are necessary for me in regards to my recovery. Meds are are only part of the equation for my recovery.

I don’t have much more to say. I hope everyone has a great day ahead of them. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Peace Out, World!!!

 

Yucky Weather Type of Day

Posted on by Gertie

Happy Friday, World!!! It has been one of those yucky type of days weather wise to where you don’t want to do shit. Since it has been one of those days you want to stay inside, I have been doing just that. When the weather is yucky this time of year in Seattle, I tend to stay inside. I have been reading since my last post and have been enjoying it. I love to read and find any excuse to do so and today I am using the excuse of not so pleasant weather. In fact reading helps me a great deal. It helps me get out of my head and forget my problems. It is like a vacation without all the hassle of planning one.

Not only have I been reading, I am about to head out in this yucky weather to go to the free art class I am taking. The class I am taking is called Beginning Comics Storytelling and I am enjoying it. It is an eight week class and sadly I missed last week due to traveling out of town.  I love the fact that the art class I am taking involves things I enjoy which include; art, comics, storytelling and writing. I am grateful that my therapist suggested signing up for the program that offers the free art classes.

Speaking of my art class I need to get going so I can be on time to my class. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a good weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

HaPpY fRiDaY

Posted on by Gertie

Happy Friday, World!!! It has been a few days since I last blogged and I don’t even remember writing my last post. The dissociation is starting to become more frequent and the period of time that I am in a dissociative state is getting longer. This is quite concerning to both myself and my therapist.

In fact when I saw my therapist this past Tuesday (April 30th), we discussed the session we had on April 23rd as I was dissociated throughout that particular session and how an hour later I called apologizing for my appointment. I don’t remember calling much less going to my appointment with my therapist on April 23rd. My therapist was so concerned over that he was thinking about putting me on a 72 hour hold for an involuntarily hospitalization but decided to hold off on it to see what will happen. I am so grateful that he didn’t put me in the hospital involuntarily but it could still be an option for him if it continues especially if I end up self harming in a dissociative state. I am glad he was honest with me in regards to this as many therapist in the community mental health system don’t convey that information to their clients.

As concerning as my dissociation is at the moment, I have applied for a new job at another young adult shelter. I applied to another shelter due to the fact that it has my study hours than my current employer. The job I would be doing is supervising volunteers during their shift in the shelter. The best part of this is I still get to help young adult experiencing homelessness while mentoring volunteers as they to help the young adults.

Speaking of work, I love my current job for the most part. The only thing I really don’t like is that it is an on-call position at night and it is a twelve hour shift. I don’t mind it being at night or it being twelve hours but I never know when I am going to get called in and there might be more times were I have two days in a row of appointments and get called in like last night. I had appointments and classes all day yesterday as well as today and I worked last night. The only reason why I even said yes to last night (Thursday) is because my co-worker is in the ICU due to a blood clot and I had said no to three previous opportunities to work. So more or less I felt guilty and took the shift on guilt plus my co-worker being in the ICU isn’t exactly their fault.

Even though I was dead tired from working last night and being up since five in morning yesterday (Thursday) I still attended the art class this afternoon despite not getting any sleep. I think I mentioned that I am taking an art class called “Beginning Comics Storytelling.” It is a free class through a non-profit organization that helps low income individuals with being able to enjoy the arts. My therapist encouraged me to sign up for an art class and was able to get into the class I had chosen as my first choice. I am really enjoying the class thus far.

In fact the class really helped with some PTSD symptoms today. The PTSD symptoms that I experienced today was due to getting my first mammogram today and that was not only difficult but extremely painful. I am just glad I got it taken care of. In fact both my doctor and therapist checked with me in regards to the mammogram. Having so many medical appointments lately sucks but if it helps with current or potential health concerns I am all for it. I just don’t like having so many medical appointments.

I don’t have much more to say in this post. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend ahead of them. Have a wonderful rest of your weekend. Again, thank you so very much for reading my blog. Happy Friday and Peace Out, World!!!

A Sunny Monday In Seattle

Posted on by Gertie

Happy Monday and Good Morning, World!!! I realize it has been a week since I last blogged. Sadly, I have also realized that at this point in time I am not blog on average of three times a week as I had stated in a New Years goal I want to accomplish for 2019. I, say an average of three times a week as life happens and I might not be able to write multiple times a week. Even though it is two days before May Day (May 1st), I can still accomplish the goal of blogging an average of three times a week this year as the year isn’t even half over yet.

Since we are on the topic of not blogging I do have a legitimate excuse for not blogging for nearly a week. Long story short I live in a “secure building” and as I was unlocking my door to my apartment someone came up from behind me from a stairwell hardly nobody uses and shove me into my apartment. While in my apartment, the person physically assaulted me and I personally thing he would have sexually assaulted me if given the chance as he attempted to pull down the pants I had on at the time. I started screaming and at this time from my understanding two neighbors called 911. One of the neighbors who called 911 then knocked on my door which scared the person physically assaulting me and the dude went running down the hall. This is when I called 911. I did inform the 911 dispatcher that I needed medical attention as I was hit in the head with a hammer. The dispatcher kept me on the phone till the fire department came to my door. The firefighters asked where the police were and I said “I have no clue” and they then radioed their dispatcher asking for Seattle Police to come to the scene. Long story short, it took Seattle Police officer 45 minutes from the first 911 call to finally show up. The police figure printed my door and the fire department took me to the closest hospital for treatment. I have a concussion.

Due to the concussion I have been laying low and doing a lot of self care. Self care that include a lot of things, one of which involve an art class I signed up for that is free for folks who are involved with certain programs. I, signed up for an art class called “Beginning Comics Storytelling” and it started last Friday (April 26th). I really think I am going to enjoy it. I am grateful that it is free and that I qualify for taking it. I am looking forward what I am going to learn in this class.

I have also done many other things to do self care which I may or may not discuss in another post as staring at my laptop screen is causing me to get another headache due to the concussion I have from the assault I experienced last week. Headaches suck shit but headaches due to a concussion suck shit even more.

I am going to go for now. The weather is wonderful today in Seattle and I want to enjoy it for multiple reasons. Plus, it is a great form of self care to enjoy the sun. I love when the Seattle weather is awesome like today.

I hope everyone has a great day. I also want to thank you all for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things and hope you all continue to read my blog. I hope everyone has a good work week. Peace Out, World!!!

An Ambien Written Post

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It about 2:15 in the morning on a Tuesday in my corner of the world. In fact I am sure some places in the world are ending their Tuesday as other parts of the world like where I live is just starting out their Tuesday.

Right now I am unable to sleep despite attempting to get to sleep. So, now I am up and decided to write a post as I hope that maybe writing will help. I love to write weather it’s blogging, journaling, poetry or short stories. For some reason it is quite helpful for me when I am needing to clear my mind.

Since I am unable to sleep I decided to put on some music. In fact, the playlist I am listening to at the moment, I titled, Childhood Memories, as it is songs I remember from my childhood. Most of the songs I have heard over and over again. Some how music helps me.

Before, I decided to write a blog post, I decided to color. I love to color. It is a form of both mindfulness and meditation for me. It helps me be in a place of relaxation as well helps me turn out the outside noise that the world brings in.

To be honest with you all, I am going to have to look at this post later on today as well as the art work I colored because I took an Ambien when I started coloring about an hour ago. So, yes, I am writing under the influence of Ambien. This post should be an interesting post to reread. In fact I am sure my coloring might be interesting to look at after the ambien wears off and I am able to get some sleep. I think I am going to go to bed now as I am extremely sleepy now from the ambien and I will leave my music on as it helps me sleep.

I do not have much else to say as if I continue to write I most likely will be repeating myself. My cat is meowing at me from my bed in the bedroom so I am thinking she is telling me it is way past my bed time. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Peace Out, World!!

In a Bit of a Lil Funk

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! As of lately I have been in a little bit of a funk. A funk that appears to be sticking around long than desired and expected. The bump in the road I thought I was experiencing has now turned into a funk and it is not very fun. I was making some progress and now I am in a funk.

Dealing with the symptoms of Anxiety, Depression and PTSD is not the easiest of things to do. To add to the difficulties is that I am dealing with some dissociation and that sucks shit. I know what I need to do to combat the symptoms and I will let you know what I plan on doing to combat those symptoms. Most of what will help combat my symptoms is doing something creative which I mentioned in a previous post that I posted yesterday. I am also including a couple of other things as I know they will be helpful as well.

I, of course will be listening to music as I do the activities I plan on doing to help reduce my symptoms. Music always appears to be quite helpful for me especially when I am combining listening to it while doing something else. Oh how music soothes my soul.

One of the things I plan on continuing from yesterday is writing. Specifically writing poetry. I am wanting to create some poems about what is going on with me emotionally at the moment. Not sure how many I can write today but it is my hope that I can create about ten poems this next week. I am not holding my breath about writing that many but it is my goal that I will be able to do so.

I will also continue to work on the paintings I started yesterday. In fact I think I may be almost done with one. I hope to share it with you at some point during this week. Painting is a great hobby despite it being expensive. That is why I tend buy a lot of canvas at the same time as it cheaper to buy in bulk. I usually buy the bottles of paint as I need them as I don’t want the paint to dry up if it is not used right away. I don’t know what I will do with all my paintings as I have no where to put them and they are not ones I exactly want to sell plus I don’t think anyone would want to buy them. I love painting whether or not they are worth any money or not.

Another thing I am planning on doing is reading. I am going to start reading one of the novels I got at Emerald City Comic-Con. The book I think I am going to read is Yesternight by Cat Winters. It was a book that was suggested to me to read. The best part of buy this book is that I was able to meet the author and have her sign it. I am excited about reading this book.

I don’t have much more to say. I just want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a great and relaxing Sunday. Peace Out, World!!!

 

Still Working on My Creative DBT Skills

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! I am needing to take a break from both writing poetry and painting. Mainly, I am needing to take a break from the painting as I am waiting for the paint to dry so I can continue working on the painting once it dries. I am still not sure where the painting to going to be but so far it appears to be quite interesting.

Writing my poetry is coming as easy as I thought it would be. I thought I would have a written at least two poems by now but I only have one written. I am however going to be looking at some photos to help me get some inspiration to continue to write some poems.

Writing and painting appear to be helping with my PTSD and Depression symptoms which is a great thing. I am glad I went with my creative DBT skills as I knew they would be the most helpful today. I hope that maybe in a later post that I can share my painting and/or poem(s).

I just want to remind everybody who reads my blog that I have advertisements on my blog. I have advertisements on my blog to help me earn some extra money. The only way I can earn money from the advertisements is if people click on them. I only earn a cent or two per advertisement that is clicked. I, unfortunately don’t get paid till all the combined clicks adds up to one hundred dollars. Sadly, I am only at ninety dollars and am only ten dollars away from receiving the money. I am hoping that you can click on the advertisements so I can get to the one hundred dollars. I wish each click wasn’t only a cent or two but each click is helpful. I would be greatly appreciative if you could click on an ad or two every time you read my blog. .

I don’t have much more to say. I want to thank you for reading my blog as I greatly appreciated it. I hope everyone has a great Saturday. Enjoy your weekend. Peace Out, World!!!