Monthly Archives: August 2018

1000th Post

Posted on by Gertie

HELLO, WORLD!!! I am happy to announce that this is my one thousandth post. I have shared quite a bit of my life with you over the last few years. The ups and the downs of having a mental health challenge.

When I started my blog I wasn’t expecting one hundred people to follow my blog much less having four hundred and forty six people to follow my blog. Having four hundred and forty six followers may not seem much compared to other people’s blogs but to me having as many followers as I do have I am happy to have them.

Seeing my blog grow into what it has, has it amazed me. It is given other people who have mental health challenges hope. Hope that was part of why I started this blog. I’m still not sure if my blog is reaching my other targeted audience who don’t have a mental health challenge because it is my hope that those without out and mental health challenge it will help lessen the stigma of those who do have a mental health challenge.

I may not view my blog as very successful but I must have some success if I have some pretty loyal readers and/or followers. So my blog must be a success to some degree.

I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated on my from my end of things. I hope you can an will continue to read my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

I Haven’t Been Back To Sleep & Feeling Like Shit

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is three thirty in the morning and still haven’t been back to sleep since my five hour nap. Not having enough sleep affects my mental health. When my mental health is affected, shit can hit the fan quite quickly. It is not my mental health that I am worried about right now. It is my physical health that is worrying me. I have a major migraine that won’t go away plus my asthma is acting up.

Due to lack of sleep and multiple health conditions acting up, I am thinking I might have a friend or family member take me to the hospital to get checked out. Or maybe I should wait and call my doctors office later in the morning to see if I can see her sooner than next Thursday (August 30th).  I’ve also been vomiting like it it going out of style. I am taking Pepto Bismal for the nausea but it is not working for the stupid vomiting.

At least my cat is by my side. Lil Gertie is trying her best to keep me calm. In fact she is doing a good job at it. I should get going an cuddle more with my cat and see if someone can take me to the hospital. If nobody can take me to the hospital then I will have to wait to my doctor’s office opens later in the morning.  Now it’s time to cuddle with my cat, Lil Gertie. Peace Out, World!!!

Can’t Fall Back To Sleep

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I can not seem to go back to sleep after being woken up by my cat, Lil Gertie, after a five hour nap. Of course when I attempted to go to sleep Lil Gertie wanted to play so I decided that I would play with her. Lil Gertie is one spoiled lil kitty. I love her so much.

To make my sleep issues even worse is that I have a migraine. Migraines are extremely painful. I am not sure what set off this migraine but my migraine medication ain’t working shit. I just hope the pain subsides so I don’t have to the stupid hospital again.

I’m wondering if my worries over not getting an email about a peer position interview I have on August 31st is what is causing part of my migraine. The lady who called me about it only mentioned her name once and I forgot to get her name again. I am hoping she emails me more of the details about the job interview so my worries and anxiety can subside. At least I will be working either a sixteen hours a week or thirty hours a week. I just hope she emails me sometime later today with more of the details and so I can ask more questions of her.

On a plus note the lady who wants to interview me for the shelter counselor position finally emailed me back explaining why she hadn’t set up an interview yet. It’s because others have been on vacation or out sick. She should be getting back to me by the end of the week via email. Lets hope I get emails from the individuals for both positions by the end of the week.

At least I know I have a least one job interview, I just wish remembered the ladies name. I can’t remember the name for the life of me which is why I am hoping for an email. Please send out positive vibes, energies, prayers or whatever that works for you that this woman emails me back or at least calls me back because I tried calling the number back it said it wasn’t taking any calls at this time. It didn’t even have a voicemail I could leave.  I know things will work out in the long run but I still have my worries.

Well, it appears like Lil Gertie, my cat is wanting my attention again so I better give it to her. If I give it to her now, she won’t wake me up at four o’clock in the morning wanting scratch on the head or to play. She sure helps me a lot.

I hope my migraine goes away as I call it a night. I’ll play with Lil Gertie first and then attempt to fall back to sleep. Thank you for reading my boring ass blog. Especially since my post appear to be repetitive as of lately. I am grateful for your readership and Peace Out, World!!!

A Five Hour Nap & I Am Still Sleepy

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! It is just post eleven o’clock at nigh in my corner of the world. I fell asleep for a much need five or so hour nap. I just hope I can get back to sleep so I will be able to sleep through the night. My cat woke me up wanting her litter box cleaned out and most importantly to be fed her wet can food even though she has plenty of dry food to eat. Now that the kitty chores are done, I hope to go back to bed after writing the post.

On a plus note I got a call today regarding a job for a peer position. Still waiting for an email from the lady with full details about the interview but at least I know when and where it is going to be. I just need confirmation on the address and who it is going to be with.

As for the shelter counselor job the person finally emailed me back and informed be it might not be to the end of the week till I find out when I my interview with them is going be. At least she finally got back to me regarding why no interview has been set up yet.

I am still really from the roller coast ride of grief I had today regarding missing my grandma. The grief hit me extra hard today. I am not sure why but it did. I was able to talk to my therapist for a little bit regarding the grief over the phone today and that was quite helpful to me.

Thank you for reading my post. I hope everyone has a good nights sleep. I hope I can get back to sleep after a five hour nap and it being just after eleven o’clock at night in my neck of the woods. Thank you again for reading. Have a good night’s sleep. Peace Out, World!!!

A Roller-coaster of A Day

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! Today has been roller-coaster  type of day when it comes to my emotions. I was able to meet my spend down for medicaid due to a comprehensive  dental examination. That means I officially have medicaid back on. Which will help with my dental, mental and physical health care. I also happy that I will be able to get the proper care I need to take care of myself.

On a side note I went to call my grandma on her cell phone to tell her some good news. The sad part of this is I had a lapse in judgement that she passed away just over six months ago which let the flood gates of grief come rushing in. I miss my grandma so much. A plus note, I did have lunch with my grandpa.

I talked on the phone with my therapist about my grief dealing with my grandma and he gave me the support I needed. He suggested that I journal and/or blog about the grief. Dealing with grief is not easy.

On to the positive note. I have an interview on August 31st for a Peer Specialist position. I am looking forward to having an interview and hopefully a job a peer. I should here back later on this week about getting an interview for a shelter counselor position. Not sure what position I would want more put at least I will have some job prospects coming my way.

I am also happy that I will be able to get the much needed dental care I so desperately need. Getting the proper dental care helps your overall health. Having good health will help me with being able to go back to work.

As you can tell I’ve had an emotional roller-coaster type of day. Please send out positive energy or vibes or prayers or whatever good mojo my way about getting the job that is best suited for me.

Thank you for reading. It is greatly appreciative to have readers like you in my life. I hope that my post as of lately gives out some hope to people because some of my post appear a little hopeless and depressing when I read back on them. It means a great deal that I have extremely awesome readers like you to help me keep blogging. If it weren’t for you the reader, I wouldn’t still be blogging. Thank you again for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

What’s The Point?

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! Right now I have a bunch of emotions going on within myself that I am having difficulty thinking straight. Maybe it’s because of the lack of sleep I had last night but I just want things to go the way I want them to. I am sick and tired of playing the waiting game on things.

For instance I received an email last week from a potential employer if I could interview at one specific time however I had another obligation and was informed that I would receive another email about another interview time for this week. That has not happened yet. It is getting extremely frustrating on my part because I expected the email by last Friday. I emailed them last Thursday in hopes to get a response yet I am still waiting on one.

I am starting to feel as if I will remain unemployed on disability for the rest of my life. Not working is having an effect on my mental health. I have been applying to other jobs as well but nothing not even a possibility of an interview.

What’s the point of even trying to go back to work when there are plenty of jobs out there that I am well qualified for yet not getting any bites. I mean I feel like nobody wants to hire me because I resigned from my last job due to the fact my symptoms were getting out of control and how can I help others when I needed to focus on my own recovery at the moment.

I just want a job I can be proud of and that will make me happy. Plus I need to make more money than I am making on disability. The universe needs to give me a break and finally let me go back to work. I am bored half out of my mind with not working.

Thank you for reading me ramble on and on about my job search. I hope everyone has an awesome Tuesday. Peace Out, World!!!

No Sleep For Me

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is seven o’clock in my corner of the world and was unable to sleep last night. I took my Ambien as prescribed and still didn’t fall asleep. Yes, I remember blogging through the Ambien fog.

I was finally almost asleep when I had a severe asthma attack that led me to go to the Emergency Room.  At first the doctor though I was having an anxiety attack but thankfully my oxygen levels proved the doctor wrong. I love it when the doctors are proven wrong. My asthma attack was due to the poor air quality Seattle is having due to all the wild fires around the state.

When I got home from the hospital, I tried to get back to sleep. Unfortunately, I was unable to get to sleep Partly out of fear of having another asthma and partly because my cat wanted to play. So I gave up on sleep and gave into my cat and played with her. On the plus side at least I can take a nap later on in the day.

Thank you so much for reading my blog. It is so very much appreciated from my end. Peace Out, World!!!

Sleepless In Seattle Due to an Asthma Attack

Posted on by Gertie

Right now, I don’t want to wish anyone a good fucking morning as I am sitting in a hospital bed dealing with an asthma attack. I have been dealing with asthma as long as I can remember and this is the worst attack that I have had in several years. I blame it on the poor air quality due to all the smoke the wild fires are burning.

The thing that pisses me off the most is the doctor thought I was faking it to make it look more like an anxiety attack to get some strong anti-anxiety meds but boy was he wrong when the nurse looked over me and stated that it’s a real case of asthma. The doctor was not too happy with the nurse but the nurse saved my life by doing her actual job when doctor really didn’t do anything at all.

As I sit here at my laptop, I am receiving some breathing treatments. They appear to be working as it seems like I am breathing better. The nurse should be back shortly to see how things are going for me.

Hopefully, I won’t be here too much longer. I hope your Tuesday starts off better than my Tuesday has. I can’t wait to get back home to my cat, Lil Gertie. I am sure she (my cat) is wondering where the hell I am.

Thank you for reading my sickly post. I will be better in no time. Have a great Tuesday and thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Sleepless In Seattle & In An Ambien Fog

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am sleepless in Seattle and have taken my Ambien which means I am in an Ambien fog. I am blogging in an Ambien fog in hopes that it will help me become sleepy.

I have done my normal sleep hygiene routine and even took an Ambien yet sleep isn’t coming easy to me tonight. I even had a busy Monday to help me sleep better. But apparently sometimes everything you do to help you get to sleep doesn’t always help. I guess it is just time to try to lay down again and try to get to sleep. Not getting a good nights sleep can have an effect on ones mental health so I really need to get to bed as soon as possible. It could effect physical health as well.

Have a good night sleep. Peace Out, World!!!

Yet, Another Lengthy Post

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, again, World!!! It has been a long day for me and I still have a great deal on my mind. Not sure why I have so much spinning in my little brain of mine. Some of the spinning in my head is a good thing while some of it is not a good thing.

Even though I got everything taken care of at the DSHS office I am still worried about money. Yes, I have set up payment plans for medical bills that aren’t covered by Medicare and/or charity care. Hopefully, once I meet my spend down for Medicaid, I can get that back. I know things will work out in its own time.

As for needing money, I have decided to keep up the advertisements up on my blog. Every time when an ad is clicked, I get a few cents. A few cents that will eventually go into a PayPal account once it reaches one hundred dollars. That is why I am asking you my reader to click on one ad a day because every view cents adds up.

Another thing I plan on doing is selling some of my paintings. I am painting enough of them that I think I could make some money. Not much money because my paintings are all the good but it will be an extra ten to twenty dollars in my pocket.

On a plus note I had a good day. I spent half the day being an adult and the other half being a child. Being a child for a  while today is something I needed to do. I have needed to do it for a long time. Being a child is a form of self care for me.

I had a blast swimming at my grandpa’s place today.  It is always nice spending time with my grandfather. I think he enjoys the fact that I have been spending so much time with him lately. I think spending time with each other helps the both of us.

I think I have said this before but I am extremely grateful for all of you in the blogging community. There is little to no drama. In fact I have not seen drama on any blogging community. I just want to thank you for letting me into your community despite the shit I write. Just know I am proud to be a member of the blogging community.

Thank you for reading my blog. It means a great deal to me. Have a great rest of your Monday. Or the last three hours of what is left of Monday. Again thank you for reading. Have a good nights sleep. Goodnight and Peace Out, World!!!