Tag Archives: Anxiety

Just Plain Ole Frustrated

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am frustrated at the moment because the building fire alarm system in my apartment building keeps going off due to some sort of malfunction. It has gone off 4 times in a matter of a three hour period. When the fire alarm goes off it triggers my PTSD due to being in two fires when I was just a kid.

Since I have been unable to sleep I have decided to try to keep myself busy. I attended an online twelve step meeting. Surprisingly, the fire alarm did not go off when I attended this particular twelve step meeting. I am really enjoying the twelve step meetings and I hope I continue to make time for myself to attend.

I have also decided to color to help keep myself busy. I am coloring a giant poster that I bought at Stuff2Color.com I really love to color for a multitude of reasons. One reason I enjoy to color is it is a self soothing practice for me. Another reason why I enjoy to color is it helps my inner child.

I do not have much more to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. I greatly appreciate you the reader, reading my blog. If it weren’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

No Sleep = Online 12-Step Meetings

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am unable to sleep once again so it is another sleepless in Seattle type of night. It is just after three o’clock in the morning here in Seattle so there isn’t much to do right now but sleep but I can’t.

Since I am unable to sleep I have been attending online twelve step meetings to help with what is keeping me up. PTSD sucks but at least I have online twelve step meetings to attend. The cool thing about online meetings is my cat, Billie, showing his cute face.

I don’t have anything else to say except thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Working on My Recovery

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I am realizing that my recent trauma is causing a lot of shit to happen in my life and I am allowing some of it to happen. Some of the shit I can control while some of it I cannot. The things I can control, I hope will help with the things I cannot control.

One of the things that I have come to the conclusion of is attending a twelve step meeting that focuses on how I react and nurture myself coming from a dysfunctional family that is full of alcoholics. The particular meeting I am attending focuses on what I can do to nurture myself as well as how I react to my dysfunctional family. As anyone who is in a 12-step program is aware of, is that attending ninety meetings in ninety days is highly suggested as well as having a “home group” to attend.

Attending therapy regularly for me is a major part of my recovery. Talk therapy helps me a great deal as does other types of therapies such as DBT, CBT and Motivational Interviewing (MI). I think my therapist does a lot of Motivational Interviewing with me as well as some DBT.

Of course working on workbooks is helpful for me when it comes to my recovery. There so many different workbooks out there that are helpful. One that I am working on now focuses on mental health recovery.

One thing that also helps me is taking medicine for my anxiety, depression and PTSD. If I didn’t take meds it would make everything else I do for my recovery much more challenging to do but it is also not the only thing.

As I have mentioned in a previous post doing at least two mindfulness meditations a day helps a great deal. It helps me start and end my day with a mostly clear mind. It also helps a great deal with my anxiety.

Acupuncture helps my depression and anxiety a lot as well as helps with physical health issues.

Lets not forget my cat Billie helps. He is extremely helpful.

I don’t have much more to discuss in this blog post. Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

A Mixture of Middle of the Night Emotions & Ideas

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World from Seattle and it is still the middle of the middle of the night here in Seattle. In fact as I write this blog, my cat Billie is purring on my lap. I am technically on crisis coverage till eight in the morning Seattle time and will complete my crisis coverage.

On that note there is a family emergency regarding my grandpa and thankfully my uncle is taking care of it till I am off of crisis coverage at eight o’clock this morning Seattle time. I did let the appropriate people know at work about it however I totally remembered I can deal with my family emergency while finishing up my much needed notes. I will send the email about catching up on notes while helping my grandpa once I know my supervisors are awake and aware of the situation regarding my grandpa. Either way I most like will do my notes, I just want to be able to get paid for them but like I mentioned before I want to make sure the supervisors are made aware that I will being finishing my crisis coverage shift and missing my regular shift and will bring up the idea of seeing if I can get paid catching up on notes while dealing my grandpa’s emergency. I am so grateful that my uncle is currently dealing with my grandpa’s emergency as I am crisis coverage for work right now.

Right now, I am struggling with some intense emotions regarding my mental health challenges. Specifically my depression and PTSD which both suck shit.Since doing mindfulness meditation appears to help my mental health symptom help a great deal, it is one of the skills I go to first. The next thing I plan on doing is doing something creative. I plan on doing both arts at crafts. The art I plan on doing is art work by coloring and doing diamond art. When it comes to diamond art I will have to sort some stuff out which is cool. As far as crafting goes, I will be doing some cross stitching. I love being able to use my self care to help with my recovery.

I just hope when I email my supervisors again later that they will allow me to work on my notes and still get paid for it as help my grandpa with his emergency. My work is not one hundred okay with me right now but that is okay as I know I am doing the best I can. At least they treat me with respect.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. If it was not for you reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Struggling Through My Work Day With Self Care

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World from the wonderful city of Seattle. As I am starting this particular blog post, I am technically on my regular work shift and I am supposed to be working from home doing notes. I did do some notes but still need to work on them. Sadly, I have been dissociating which suck shit. To make matters slightly worse I am on crisis coverage till eight in the morning till tomorrow. I am knocking on wood that I don’t get any crisis calls especially since I had to take some of my anti-anxiety meds to help. Having taking mdeds for anxiety while on shift is not always a good thing.

On a plus not only I ordered some Taco Bell via Grub Hub to help make sure I have something in my stomach to help make good decisions for clients that I help can to the best of my ability. In fact my Taco Bell from Grubhub just arrived. Be back in a few minutes to add more to this blog post.

The food helped a great deal and am grateful for the food. I am now on to doing some mindfulness meditation to help for the work day as well as being a crisis coverage. I really hope I don’t get any crisis calls tonight.

Working is somewhat helpful with the PTSD, Depression and Anxiety but other stuff helps like mindfulness meditation and something creative such as art work by coloring and doing diamond work. I love being able to do creative things regarding my recovery and work.

I am have some issues at work but I am dealing with them with the help of my union and my therapist. I think it is now some time to read a comic book or two to help calm my mind down.

Thank you fore reading bly blog..

A Little Art to Brighten not Just My Day but Other Peoples Days As Well. (Art piece not finished yet)

Posted on by Gertie
This is the picture I started to do today. No official colors in this picture.
This is the same picture but this time it has some color on it. Mainly on the top but some on the bottom. I hope as I continue to color that I will continue to share.

I have decided to color pictures and share them with you and how you can see the progress is coming along. Today was the first day of doing so I hope I can continue to do this in hopes to get more people to follow my blog. I really hope you enjoy my coloring artwork. Peace out, World!!!

Too Long of a Post about Arts & Crafts

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I was to work today but sadly, I called in sick as I needed to take a mental health day. I have realized that I haven’t done much self care as it is needed to do in any line of work but especially the mental health field and greatly love my work with a passion.

Much to my surprise my family has been encouraging me to do some self care for myself. I am just shocked as hell that it came from my grandpa. I love my grandpa so much. In fact my dad has been encouraging me for weeks to do some self care which I plan on doing.

Just like my family, my friends have been insisting on me doing self care. I am so thrilled that I have friends that care about me. I have the best friends in the world.

As some of you know, I have Anxiety, Depression and Complex PTSD along with treatment resistant Insomnia. Having insomnia sucks and the lack of sleep makes the symptoms of my other mental health challenges that become more symptomatic.

Due to the lack of sleep, I make sure I do a mindfulness meditation practice to start the day when I get up as well as to end the day before bed time. I highly recommend doing some mindfulness meditation.

Anyway, I want to bring something up that might help me with my mental health and my job. First of reading as I love to read. I highly enjoy reading. I am currently reading The Sorority Murder by Allison Brennan. It is a very intriguing book.

As far as arts and crafts I plan on doing is nothing new especially when it comes to art work, specifically when it comes to coloring. I have also dabbled in painting but I am not very good at. I hope to do more painting and coloring especially since I ordered more coloring pages from Stuff2Color. The coloring stuff I got from Stuff2Color and still have a lot of canvas that I bought a while ago and haven’t done anything about. Now it is just time to by paint and paint brushes.

Now on to the crafts part of arts and crafts.I have ordered some Latch Hook stuff already and have ordered more so I can make them for people and their special day whatever that may be as well as donate to local nonprofits so when they have an auction it will hopefully bring in some money. I know not much money but every penny helps for nonprofits. I do need a lot of practice with a latch hook.

Of course,the other crafting I will be doing is crossing stitching. I did cross stitch back in my twenties and really enjoyed doing it. I am not sure why I stopped but I plan to start back up again. I hope to give people a finished product as well as give to local nonprofits who auction off such stuff during a big fundraiser.

Before I forge a friend of mine who is also a neighbor introduced a thing called Diamond Art. It looks intriguing to do as it seems it can take a while to do as there are so many little pieces. I ordered some and am looking forward to doing this Diamond Art.

Of course when I am doing arts or crafts, I will be listening to music or a podcast. Listening to music or podcasts helps me concentrate on being able to focus the text at hand which is Arts and Crafts.

I do not have more to say in this blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

A Day Full of Emotions Despite Making the Bad Shit Into the Good Shit

Posted on by Gertie

Today did not start off as a good day. I woke up with a nightmare on time of an anxiety attack which sucks but then the depression decided to rear it’s rearing head which sucks shit. Having PTSD, Anxiety attacks and depression sucks but at least I have my cat to help me with my mental health symptoms so I took the day off from work.

Oh the positive side of things I have plenty of coping skills to help me when then things get difficult for me. One thing that helps me is my cat as well as my mindful mindfulness practice. Also going to work helps a greate deal for me. Self care is a huge things for me and it iterates me that my family thinks I an using drugs when i do not do drugs. I love having fun like going to baseball games as well as doing art work such as coloring, painting, crafting such as latch key and cross stitch.

I am grateful that despite a challenging day to my day that everything has worked out. Now it is time to do some lisure time to do some fun fast. Peace Out, World!!!

A Mental Health Day Focusing on a Self Care Day

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It is just after ten evening Seattle time and realized that I have been doing some great self care due to the fact that my anxiety, depression and PTSD have been rearing its ugly head. It’s nothing I can’t handle with the help of my self care that I do on the regular basis.

One of the things I do is to do mindfulness meditation to help me keep grounded. Keeping grounded is a much needed thing for me and my anxiety as well my PTSD. Of course eating food on a regular basis is key to my mental health. Other things that help me with my self care is reading which the book I am is The Sorority Murder by Allison Brennan.Is is an awesome book and I am half through the book. I really enjoy the book. Another self care think I am doing is Sudoku. I love Sudoku. It helps keep my mind sharp. Something that helps me keep calm and at peace as well as given me some hope is music. Of course my cat helps me a great deal with keeping me calm. I don’t have much more to say as I am getting tired and and hungry. I need some food before getting some food. Good night world!

Taking a Mental Health Day from Work Tomorrow Wednesday 7/26/23

Posted on by Gertie

Right now I am realizing I am needing to take a mental health day off from work tomorrow Wednesday, July 26th, 23. I feel bad for doing this as I don’t want to put more work on my team however my supervisors and team members understand that taking a mental health day is something that is needed from time to time. I am grateful for my team being so supportive.

I realized I need to take a mental health day when I realized I wasn’t doing my regular self care regiment when my PTSD, Depression and Anxiety starts to act up especially when I don’t make it apart my daily self care or just quit doing it because I start to feel better. I know from experience what I need to do for self care.

I have many things to help me through self care regarding my mental health challenges as well as just everyday life. For one I can cuddle with my beloved cat, Billie. I can always read a book that I am quite enjoying. Another thing I can do is make sure I have food on a regular basis. Of course doing art work by painting, coloring and diamond art. Also I can also do crafting by cross stitching and latch hooking. Listening to music is a great help as well as listening to podcasts. Of course there are my friends I can reach out to and go for walks. Mindfulness Meditation has been a great deal of help to me. My family and friends are of great support. Self care is major in helping yourself so you can be able in staying in recovery.

So I am going to end this particular post for now. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated that you the reader, read my blog. It wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be writing my blog. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!