Tag Archives: Death

Just a Rambling or Two

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I was able to get back to sleep after my last post discussing about how I woke up from a nightmare. Nightmares are not my idea of fun and not conducive to one getting sleep.

Right now I am thinking about my grandma and her funeral on Monday.  I miss her so much and its going to be difficult to say goodbye to her on Monday. I just want my grandma back so much. I love her so very much.

I think once I am done blogging I will do The Mindfulness Workbook that I’ve been working on. It’s helping me overcoming fear and embracing compassion. I am enjoying doing this workbook as well the other workbook I am doing.

I think I am going to get going and do my workbook. Thank you very much for reading my blog. It is much appreciated. Peace Out, World!!!

Snowing In Seattle, Again

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It’s snowing again in Seattle. The weatherman inform people that it’s “not currently snowing in Seattle.” Well, I am sorry to say but it is snowing in my neighborhood and I live in Seattle.

Despite it snowing, I went and saw Gilbert earlier today. We discussed my grief with my grandma and her funeral on Monday. We also discussed the symptoms of my PTSD, Anxiety and Depression as well as what I can do to keep myself safe if self-harm urges are to appear. (NO, I don’t have urges to self harm nor am I suicidal.) We came up with a safety plan as a precaution as I’m going to be spending a great deal of time with my family. Don’t get me wrong I love my family, they just know how to get under my skin and vise versa.

Speaking of family, I want to call my grandpa. Have a great weekend and Peace Out, World!!!

Everyday Inspiration; Day 11: A Cup of Coffee

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! You would think living in Seattle I would love coffee but I don’t. I don’t like the taste of the yucky stuff but I love the smell. So, if you would go out to coffee with me I would most likely be having a cup of hot chocolate or some tea.

I’m not sure what we would talk about if we were to go coffee but I would hope we would talk about both the positive and negative stuff going on in our lives. Maybe would talk about the 2018 Winter Olympics and how they are about to end. Or even how the Olympics bring the world together in ways only sports can bring folks together.

Maybe I’ll talk about the loss of my grandma and how much she meant to me and my family. If we talk about my grandma, we would discuss how she was major influence on my life and a motherly figure to me.

Or we could talk about what is going on in your life. Whatever that may look like to you. We could talk about your family or sports or anything you want.

Thank you for reading. Have great day!!! Peace Out, World

Woo Hoo!!! U.S.A Women Win Gold In Hockey!!!

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! I’m watching the United States versus Canada women’s hockey game and the U.S just won. Woo Hoo!!! As many of you know that the United States and Canada have a huge rivalry in hockey and tonight’s Gold Medal game went into a shoot out round to determine the winner. Happily and  surprisingly the U.S.A won.

Watching the Olympics have been quite helpful for me especially since my grandma passed away a week ago today. It’s been quite helpful for me during sleepless nights as well. I really miss my grandma and I think that the U.S.A winning the women’s hockey is a sign from my grandma that I do have the strength to carry on.

Thank you for reading my blog. It is much appreciated. Peace Out, World!!!

Rambling About Sh*t

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! Today, has had its ups and downs yet I am grateful for both. Grateful, that I am able to be an okay enough place to have gratitude toward both the ups and the downs for the day. If it were December I don’t think I would have been grateful for the downs I experienced.

I discussed this with Gilbert today in our session and he stated that I am making a lot of progress. Progress with my recovery. Progress with my recovery that I am finally starting see in myself. Not only did we discuss the progress but we discuss the physical assault I experienced on Monday evening as well as the death of my grandma last Wednesday. We discussed on what I can do during the down moments when dealing with the death of my grandma and the assault I experienced.

One of those things I came up with was to journal. To journal about the strength my grandma had. Not just journal in any of my journals but my Wonder Woman journal. I journal in my Wonder Woman journal when I think it is going to be about someone who as some form of strength because Wonder Woman is a strong superhero.

Since we are on the topic of Wonder Woman I also discussed with Gilbert that reading my Wonder Woman comics would be helpful. He agreed as he thinks Wonder Woman gives me some form a strength and he is right. Yes, I know Wonder Woman is a fictional character but she does give me strength.

Thank you for reading. It is very much appreciated. Peace Out, World!!!

Gertie & Grief

Posted on by jjuniorz

As many of you are well aware of, Gertie’s grandma passed away last Wednesday. Gertie is having a difficult with the grief. They don’t do well with loss especially the loss of someone who was a major part of their life.

Gertie is allowing themselves to cry over the loss of her grandma. This is a major deal for them as they don’t deal well with pain or crying. I am quite proud of Gertie for the major accomplishment of allowing themselves to cry.

Gertie is doing the best they can with using their skills. Despite being sorrowful over the death of their grandma they are keeping themselves busy and distracted with the skills they have learned over the years. Gertie is being future oriented.

Future oriented enough that they have been playing phone tag with a potential employer.  Lets hope they get the job they are hoping for.

Please keep Gertie in your thoughts as they are grieving over the loss of their grandma. Gertie is the love of my life. Have a great day.

Weekly Check-In

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! If you been reading my blog this past week you know that my grandma passed away. It’s been quite difficult for me and my family especially my grandpa. My grandparents were married for 62 1/2 years so of course its going to be difficult for him.

My friends have been a wonderful source of support the last few days. Friends who have no fear of seeing me cry or giving me reality checks when needed. Hell, my friends are stubborn ass mules just like I am. I think that’s what makes my friends awesome. They don’t put up with my bullshit.

Speaking of friends, I went to Red Robin with two of my closest friends. We had some yummy food. Food that is good for the soul.

I didn’t go to my volunteer job this evening primarily because of the grief I am dealing with regarding my grandma. People are pretty understanding about it. Having some awesome peer support is great.

Thank you for reading and Peace Out, World!!!

Rough Moment With Missing My Grandma

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! I am having a rough moment. A rough moment with missing my grandma. I miss my grandma’s voice. I miss her smile. I miss her laugh. I miss her very much.

Something that I am going to do after I am done with this post is read. For me reading has been a tool that I am relying to help me escape from the reality of the pain I am in. Yes, I do allow myself to feel the pain no matter how difficult it may be. I just need some way to escape and reading is a healthy way to do it.

Thank you so very much for reading my many depressing post lately. Peace Out, World.

I Miss My Grandma

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! I’m having a really strong moment of grief. Grief of loosing my grandma. I wish she was still here however I know she is watching over me as my guardian angel.

With the loss of my grandma, I’ve been receiving some great support from friends and fellow peer specialist. Support from people that I didn’t even know that cared. Having folks check in with me has been quite helpful for me.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

It’s Been A Long Week

Posted on by Gertie

Happy Friday, World!!! As many of you know its been a long week for me. My grandma died on Wednesday. It’s been quite hard for me deal with the grief. Dealing with the loss of my grandma is quite painful.

Gilbert, my therapist, and I talked about the pain, I’m dealing with regarding my grandma’s death. We discussed ways on how I can remember my grandma. I came up with the idea of a tattoo. I love tattoos and hope I can find one to remember my grandma by.

Something else Gilbert and I discussed was what I can do to have some structure this weekend as well as how I am going do some good self care. We talked about blogging and journaling to help with the processing part of my grandma’s death. We also talked about doing art the help me express my emotions. Reading books and comics also came up to help me escape reality in a healthy way for an hour or two at a time. We also discussed music and doing some workbooks.

Doing good self care is key to my recovery and one of those things is to go and eat something. So, I am going to go and get some dinner. Happy Friday. Peace Out, World!!!