Tag Archives: Family

Still Struggling but Doing Better

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World. It is almost ten o’clock on a Sunday night here in rainy Seattle. I feel like the rain fits my current mood of being depressed. On that note, it feel like the depression is lifting a little bit which is a really good thing.

Sadly, I did not go to my volunteer job at PAWS Cat City this morning because I did not get much sleep last night. It felt like I didn’t getting any sleep but I’m sure I got some sleep; sort of like cat naps or I would have most likely slept all day today if I got absolutely no sleep last night.

I’ve been lucky today as I had some of my support system help me out today. My uncle and grandpa came over with some breakfast. After we ate breakfast, my uncle and grandpa helped me a little bit with cleaning my apartment. It’s still a disaster area but at least you can tell there is some improvement.

After my family helped me with my apartment, I decided to turn on my music and play it very loudly. So, loud I will be surprised if one of my neighbor don’t complain to the apartment management. On that note, while having my music on full blast, decided to do some art work. The type of art work I did was coloring. I love to color and was able to finish the piece I was coloring to give to a friend who is a neighbor and live in my apartment building.

So, I went up to my friends apartment who is a neighbor and gave him my finished coloring piece I colored for him. In fact his music was on blast as well. He was also doing some art work except he was painting. In fact he allowed me to add to his painting which I found cool that he let me help him with this painting.

When I came back from my friends apartment, I decided to binge watch a couple of television shows on Netflix and Hulu. Of course, Billie Dean, my cat sat on my lap as I binged watched television shows. I love my cat so very much. He is a very sweet and loving kitty. He is also very much a lap kitty which is great especially when my depression is acting up.

As far as the Everyday Inspiration course I am taking through WordPress, I plan on continuing the course where I last left off. I really enjoy taking this course. It helps me stay focused on blogging. It also helps me keep you the reader more interested in my blog or at least that is my hope in what it does.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you, the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. So, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Everyday Inspiration; Day 10: Let the Scene Write Itself

Posted on by Gertie

Right now I am working from home. I am sitting in a comfy chair in front of my work computer. Technically, it’s a laptop but you get the idea. I am looking at my schedule for the day. Nothing but meetings all day. Well, not all day; I am seeing two client virtually today.

Not only do I see my work laptop, I see my cat, Billie Dean. Billie is on his cat tree looking out my living room window. I’m not sure if he is seeing a bird or two or even a squirrel but Billie is looking intently at something outside.

Another thing I see is the wall in front of me. It has pictures. Pictures of my beloved family. A family that may be dysfunctional but at least I know my family loves me. I know they love me even when we don’t get along. I love my family.

Everyday Inspiration; Day 8: Reinvent the Letter Format

Posted on by Gertie

I’m not exactly like to reinvent something that works such as letters. I know there are different type of letters; like business letters, person letters to friends and family as well as Dear John letters. But why reinvent the letter. All it matters to me is that I have friends that send me letters that are delivered by the mail carrier. I happily respond to those letter to friend and family via letter. Hand written letters are so much more personable than email ninety-nine percent of the time. So why reinvent the letter.

Weekly Plans

Posted on by Gertie

Sunday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice
  • Walk
  • Volunteer at PAWS Cat City
  • Clean my apartment with the help of my grandpa and uncle
  • Dinner with my grandpa and uncle

Monday

  • Sleep in as it’s a holiday in the States
  • Mindfulness meditation practice
  • Walk
  • Continue to clean apartment (this time without the help of family)
  • Dinner with some neighbors who have become good friends
  • Read a book (most likely my cat Billie will be on my lap when I do this)

Tuesday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice
  • Walk
  • Therapy
  • Work from the office from twelve o’clock in the afternoon to eight in the evening.
  • Arrive home and give my cat the much needed attention he want since I was at work all day

Wednesday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice
  • Walk
  • Work from home
  • Take Billie to play with neighbors who I am having dinner with the neighbors I am good friends with.

Thursday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice
  • Walk
  • Work from home
  • Walk Billie around common area’s of the apartment build. (He is afraid of the outside even on a leach and harness.

Friday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice
  • Walk
  • Work from the office
  • Arrive home and give Billie much needed attention since I was working in the office.
  • Read with Billie sleeping in my lap.

Saturday

  • Sleep in
  • Mindfulness meditation practice
  • Walk
  • Be lazy the entire day

Weekly Check-In

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It is that time in the evening where I do my weekly check-in. It has been an up and down week for me. Sunday I volunteered a Paws Cat City and had a great time volunteering like I always do.

Monday, I took off because it was Valentines Day which is really difficult for me because my grandma died four years ago and Valentines Day. I didn’t know if I was going to be a hot mess or not so I took the day off from work. Valentines Day landed on a day I work from twelve noon to eight o’clock in the evening. I did pretty good till about six o’clock when the grief hit me like Tsunami. Besides being hit my a Tsunami of grief at six o’clock in the evening, I had a pretty good day. I went on brunch “date” with my grandpa at IHOP. We had an awesome time eating great food and remembering the good times with my grandma before she passed away four years ago.

Despite spending some good times with my grandpa as we remembered my grandma, I had a of friend call me to check in on me. I really think the support my grandpa and I gave each other as well as the support my friends gave me really helped with the grief. Of course my cat Billie Dean helped a great deal with help with the grief of my grandma especially when I became a hot mess with tears rolling done my face for about an hour.

As for work goes it went well. I really love my job. My colleagues are beyond awesome. All three of peers support specialist including myself got some add work to do which I think is awesome as it will ultimately help the clients we serve. I really love my job and the freedom they give use peers and how the supervisors don’t micromanage us peers.

I don’t have much more to say in the particular blog post. I do want to thank your for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you so much from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

The Love Hate Relationship w/Social Media

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It is almost ten o’clock at night here in the Seattle area. As some of you may be aware of that not only was yesterday (Monday) Valentines Day, it was also the fourth year anniversary my grandma past away. I had post several times yesterday on Facebook about how much I miss my grandma.

Sadly, I had to unfriend three so called friends. The all individually contacted me privately that I was being “too dramatic” about my grandma death. One even said that “loosing your grandma isn’t like loosing your mom.” This person does has a point but had no idea that my grandma was my motherly figure for a good portion of my life because my own mom was not able to be a mom to me at the time. Thankfully, my mom and are slowly minding our relationship which is a good thing as she did what she need to do to fix things in here life to be a better mom to me. On that note, I another so called friend let me that I “needed to kill” myself. So basically, was told I should die by suicide. There is no way in fucking hell that I will die by suicide as I have too much to live for.

The reasons I have to live for is one; I have have job I love with a passion. Two; I have the two loves of my lives; Billie Dean my cat and my teddy bear I’ve had since I was born. Three; I have friends and family that not only care about me but love me as well. Four, I want to let my clients know that suicide isn’t always the answer that they one day will do some great and awesome.

I am so glad suicide hasn’t grossed my mind in years. I’m glad that suicide is not an option for me. I love my live and am content with it. Plus, I have great supportive friend and family that love and care about me.

I do not have much more to say in this particular post except that I do not want to die or kill myself. I also want to thank you for reading my blog. It is also greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Everyday Inspiration; Day 3: 1-Word Inspiration

Posted on by Gertie

Home

I chose the word home because home can mean many things to different people. Home can be many places as well. I’ve called and currently call many places home.

Let’s start with my first home. My first home is the place I grew up. In fact I grew up in Anaheim, California. Not too far from Disneyland. Hell, you could seen the Disneyland fireworks from both my front and back yards of my childhood home. You didn’t even to to sit on the roof of the house to see them. I lived there with my dad and grandparents. Even though I don’t live there or have family that live there anymore that will be home.

Another place I called home as a child is Olympia, Washington. Hell, it still feels like home as an adult when I go and visit. I spent my summers and winter vacations in Olympia to visit my mom as my parents have been divorced since I was a toddler. I still go to Olympia to visit my mom a few times a year, now that I live in the Seattle area.

Now lets talk about my current home in Seattle. My home is where my cat is as well as the teddy bear I had since I was born. It’s also that place I like to be most as my cat loves me unconditionally and my teddy bear doesn’t judge me. I am sure my cat, Billie Dean judges me but that’s okay because I know he loves me.

Last but not least home is also where my grandpa lives which isn’t far from where I live. It’s home for me because of my grandpa loves me and he helped raise me. I guess just being with my grandpa makes me feel at home even if we are in the car driving some place.

Missing My Grandma

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! This will be a very short post. My grandma passed away four years ago on Valentines Day which was yesterday. I miss here a great deal and I know she is my guardian angel still looking out for me. I love and miss my grandma so much. She helped raise me and I am grateful for that. Again, I don’t have much more to say in this blog post. Peace Out, World!!

Up Date about Valentines Day Grief a Day Late

Posted on by Gertie

Good very early morning, world!!! I am unable to sleep due to insomnia and decided how my Valentines Day went. Over all in all was relatively good day considering the four year anniversary of my grandma’s death. It still hurts a great deal.

I started of my day with a “date” with my grandpa. Treated him to IHOP and shared memories of my grandma. Tears were of course present but I am grateful to share the positive time remembering my grandma with my grandpa. It was cool that I paid for both of our meals at IHOP

On that note, my grandpa and I went shopping for some much need jeans for me. My grandpa wanted to pay for the jeans and he surprisingly too no for answer as he the one that put up the fit with him paying for thing for me. I am grateful that he allowed me to pay for my own jeans and kitty litter.’

Yes, I did get some my cat Billie Dean some litter for him. He also go some catnip. He had a lot of snuggle time with me in my lap. Cat therapy is the best

I sadly had to call in and cancel my appointment with my new therapist for later today due to the not being able to sleep apart. Good thing I know she will understand. I just need to get few hours of sleep and hoe I feel beater to work from home. I hope the extra sleeping will help.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post except thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, reader read my blog. If it wer not for you the reader reading my blog I would not be writing it. So, thank you again from the bottom of my hear for reading my blog. Good night and Peace Out, World

Everyday Inspiration; Day 2: Write A List

Posted on by Gertie

My list for today, day two will be regarding the grief of my grandma who passed a four years ago today which is Valentines Day.

Things I Wish

before my grandma passed away.

  • I wish I had one last hug.
  • I wish I could tell her how I much love her one last time
  • I wish I could hear her tell me she loved me.
  • I wish she knew how grateful I was and am that she helped raise me with my grandpa and dad.