Tag Archives: Family

Processing Grandma Being In Hospice Care

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I wish Junior was not working for a multitude of reasons. Main reason is to help me through the fact that my grandma is in hospice care. But he has to work to pay his bills.

Having my grandma in hospice is really difficult for me and my family. Something that has been helpful to be are my DBT skills. I’ve been doing a lot of reading. It’s been helping me get out of head. Art has been helpful to me as a way to express my emotions. A way to not explode on myself or anyone else. Blogging has been helpful to process all this stuff.

I don’t deal well with painful emotions and my grandma being in hospice is quite challenging. She is aware of what is going on about eighty percent of the time which makes it that much more difficult. I love my grandma and hope she doesn’t suffer.

Thank you for reading my depressing post. I hope everyone has a good night. Enjoy the Superbowl tomorrow for those of you that live in the United States. Peace Out, World!!

Life, The Challenges & Silver Linings

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! Its been a tough week for my family. My grandma is going into hospice care and we are attempting the best we can to keep it together for her. My grandma is a strong woman. She keeps giving me “talks” to make sure I go to my job interviews next week.

I am looking forward the possibility of going back to work. I’ve been missing being able to go to work. I really think being able to go to work helps with my mental health or at least the structure that goes with it. Being out of work has you think how much structure one must have to be able to not get so depressed or at least that is how it is for me. Work also gives me the social aspect of life. So for me work helps a great deal with a multiple of things in my life.

Life brings the bad and the good. Sometimes at the same time like at the moment. As life continues I am looking at the silver lining in things. Its difficult at time however it is possible. Yes, I am being realistic about my grandma however I know she wants me to look at the silver lining.

Thank you the reading. Have a great weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

Tough Evening/Night

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! I’m having a tough go at it at the moment. I’ve been dealing with that fact the my grandma is in hospice care and I’m attempting to process it through journaling and blogging. It appears to be helping.

Reading a history text book and watching TedTalks about history. I feel like I can get some sort of education regarding history. Its helping with getting my mind off of things and wish my family and I weren’t dealing with all this but its the reality we are dealing with.

Reality can suck shit but it can be wonderful at the same time. For example my grandma told me today if I don’t go to my job interviews and Tuesday and Wednesday that when she goes, she will haunt me to the day I die and then haunt me after death. I got to love my grandma. She’s facing death yet she is still using her humor.

Thank you for reading. I hope everyone has a good evening/night. Peace Out, World!!!

Dealing W/Grandma In Hospice Care

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I’ve been dealing with my grandma and her being in hospice care. It hasn’t been the easiest ordeal for me or my family. My dad isn’t taking it all that well. I wish I knew how to help him though besides just being a listening ear and shoulder to cry on. He is trying his best to be of support to me as well.

Something that helped today was therapy. I saw Gilbert today. We discussed my grandma and her being in hospice. I just broke down crying and Gilbert gave me a box of Kleenex and let me cry. Sometimes a good cry helps.

Therapy was pretty much the only productive thing I’ve done all day. The other things I have done is blog, color, read and watched TedTalks. Blogging helps me process shit while coloring helps me express emotions. Reading and watching TedTalks help me get out of my head. Maybe I’ll talk about the TedTalks later.

Thank you for reading. Have a good weekend everyone. Happy Friday!!! Peace Out, World!!!

 

Small Freak Out + Reality Check = DBT Skills

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!! I was starting to freak out about my grandma still being in the hospital. Actually, I was freaking out when nobody was answering their phone and told by a nurse on the phone that my grandma’s nurse was dealing with an emergency. So, I thanked the nurse and called my great aunt. She gave me the reality check I needed and told me my grandma was okay. She then informed to do things that help me and asked me to tell her what I was going to do.

I informed my great aunt that I would blog about what I was going to do while listening to music. Than I would do some art and read. My great aunt suggest I play my flute. Or at least my grandma’s favorite song I know on the flute to feel close to my grandma till I talk to her on the phone.

So, I’m now doing my plan to help me get through a rough moment. Thank you for putting up with me. Have a wonderful day. Peace Out, World!!!

 

Middle of the Night Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! I am tired and really should try to get some sleep. I’ve been up worrying about my grandma. She’s in critical condition at a local hospital. She had a procedure done to put her heart back into a normal rhythm and now she is on a ventilator. The procedure is done without a hitch a great deal of the time but because my grandma has Parkinson’s and her age it got complicated. My grandma is a strong woman and I know she will do what is best for her to make it through. She is my hero.

I know whatever happens to my grandma, she would want me to continue being the person I am despite her “not being a big fan” of my purple hair. I had a phone interview with a mental health agency for a peer support position. I have a second interview with them in person this Friday. I also have another in person interview at a different agency next Tuesday. I’m looking forward to getting back to work.

I need to get going and try to get some sleep. I hope everyone sleeps well tonight. Thanks, for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Using Skills To Help Me Through

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!! I’m just getting home from a busy afternoon and evening. I first went and saw my therapist, Gilbert. I am slowly starting to trust him. We discussed how things are changing once again with my treatment team and I’m not sure if I’m okay with it but its something I’ll have to get use to.

We also discussed my grandma and how she is in the hospital. She is in the hospital due to Parkinson’s related health issues. She will be going into hospice care within the next few months and my dad isn’t taking it all that well. My dad is a mama’s boy. Its difficult knowing that my grandma may not make it to the end of 2018.

I should get going and eat dinner. I hope everyone has a wonderful work week. Peace Out, World!!!

Poetry; Day Three: Friends

Posted on by Gertie

Friends

by Gertie

Friends become family. A chosen family

Rare as it is, some even risk their own life for you.

It never ceases to amaze how close chosen family be.

Even thought there are an argument or two,

Nothing can get between our chosen family.

Dependability is something that is always counted on when times get bad.

So here’s to those friends who have become family.

 

 

Hello, It’s Me Again; Mama Bear

Posted on by mamabearraine

Hello! I am the motherly figure in Gertie’s life that they fondly refer me as “Mama Bear.” I haven’t posted in quite sometime and was asked by Gertie to do a brief reintroduction of myself.

I have known Gertie for over 17 years and have seen her grow as person as well as in their recovery. Yes, Gertie has been struggling the last year however I still see them making strides as a person and in their recovery.

As Gertie stated in their post yesterday, they want Junior and myself to post every other week and alternate the weeks we post with the excepting of this week. From my understanding Junior will be posting tomorrow. My post will mainly consist of what its like to be a motherly figure to someone who has lived experience. That shouldn’t be too difficult for me to convey as I am a mother of four children and my two youngest deal with their own mental health struggles. In fact Gertie is a role model and example of what recovery looks like to all four of my children especially my two youngest.

Thank you for reading.

A Two Paragraph Post

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I have decided once again to have Mama Bear and Junior start posting. They have only posted a total of twice each. I have informed them that I would like them to post every other Wednesday with the exception of this week. Mama Bear will post tomorrow while Junior post on Tuesday. On the Wednesdays Mama Bear doesn’t post Junior will and vise versa. As I stated earlier it will start next week.

Thank you for reading and I hope to post again in the next day or so. I appreciate all of you. Peace Out, World