Tag Archives: Friends

Life, The Challenges & Silver Linings

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! Its been a tough week for my family. My grandma is going into hospice care and we are attempting the best we can to keep it together for her. My grandma is a strong woman. She keeps giving me “talks” to make sure I go to my job interviews next week.

I am looking forward the possibility of going back to work. I’ve been missing being able to go to work. I really think being able to go to work helps with my mental health or at least the structure that goes with it. Being out of work has you think how much structure one must have to be able to not get so depressed or at least that is how it is for me. Work also gives me the social aspect of life. So for me work helps a great deal with a multiple of things in my life.

Life brings the bad and the good. Sometimes at the same time like at the moment. As life continues I am looking at the silver lining in things. Its difficult at time however it is possible. Yes, I am being realistic about my grandma however I know she wants me to look at the silver lining.

Thank you the reading. Have a great weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

Poetry; Day Three: Friends

Posted on by Gertie

Friends

by Gertie

Friends become family. A chosen family

Rare as it is, some even risk their own life for you.

It never ceases to amaze how close chosen family be.

Even thought there are an argument or two,

Nothing can get between our chosen family.

Dependability is something that is always counted on when times get bad.

So here’s to those friends who have become family.

 

 

Things I’m Learning From The Queer & Transgender Resilience Workbook; Chapter 1

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It’s been a long day for me. I started of the day having breakfast at place called Biscuit Bitch with former colleagues who I have become close friends with. Food and friends is always a good thing even if its at 7:30 in the morning. I, then went to Day Treatment today and saw my temporary therapist Gilbert. Todays session with Gilbert was more difficult than it usually is. I might talk about the session in a later post.

If you been reading my blogging regularly as of lately, you will know that I started a workbook called The Queer & Transgender Resilience Workbook by Anneliese Singh. I’m going to make every effort to tell you what I have learned after each chapter.

CHAPTER 1; GETTING REAL: DEFINING YOUR LGBTQ SELF IN A WOLD THAT DEMANDS COMFORMITY:

As the title of the chapter states, it has you define your LGBTQ self in the world around us. The chapter starts off asking how one identifies their sexual orientation and their gender identity. As it continues it starts asking about what you’re comfortable with sharing. This is the part where it started getting challenging for me as I think it depends on the situation I may be in.

Another part of chapter one that was difficult was searching within myself about affirmations I have toward myself and not just as an LGBTQ individual. This was difficult because I have very low self esteem and some if it is because of my gender identity and sexual orientation and some of it is not. Affirmations is something I need to work on and Gilbert agrees. He wants me to acknowledge that I have great affirmations and say them out loud.

Affirmations which I will say eventually. Maybe even after the end of this post. I should go and eat. Peace Out, World!!!

The Start of a Good Day

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! Good News is that I got a relatively good nights sleep no matter how little I did sleep. I’m grateful that I got some good sleep.

Not only am I starting off the day with some good sleep, I’m going to be having breakfast with some former colleagues at Biscuit Bitch. Biscuit Bitch is near my old employer and people who work where I worked get a discount there. Biscuit Bitch serves biscuits and gravy. Their biscuits and gravy some of the best I’ve had especially since it reminds me when lived in Nashville for a year in my early twenties. Southern food such as biscuits and gravy seems to be yummy. Well all of it except grits.

As much as I am looking forward to breakfast with former colleagues, I’m hoping to hear back from potential employers. I’ve been applying to Peer Specialist jobs as well as similar jobs so I can hopefully go back to work. I don’t know if I’m 100% ready to go back to work especially full time but its worth a shot to at least get an interview or two.

I’m realizing what the time is and should start getting ready to go as I don’t want to be late meeting up wit former colleagues before they start work. I hope everyone has a great day at work. Peace Out, World!!!

Taco Tuesday + People Who Care = Fun Times

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! Today has been a rainy Tuesday here in Seattle and has been a pretty low key day for me. Low key as in not really doing anything regarding attending appointments for my mental health conditions/challenges. In all honesty it’s nice to not have really focus on my mental health or at least when it comes to having to attend appointments, groups and so on.

As I mentioned earlier, its been a rainy day here in Seattle. Its actually not exactly “rain,” its the typical Seattle gloomy drizzle. Even though its the typical Seattle gloomy drizzle, Junior and I are kept low key.

We started off the day with some intimate moments. Intimate moments we haven’t had in quite some time do to my mental health symptoms being so severe. Yes, they are still pretty bad however they a improving. Improving enough that Junior you had not just one intimate moment today but several.

After a day of several intimate moments, Junior and I made dinner for a dinner party. We made the fixings for taco’s. We typically have dinner parties on the weekends however we saw it fitting to have a dinner party involving taco’s on Tuesday in honor of Taco Tuesday. As we had a taco bar with our friends we watched the movie; Wonder Woman. Wonder Woman never gets old. Everyone enjoyed themselves. Fun times were had by everyone.

Thank you for reading about a laid back and relaxing day. I hope everyone has a good rest of the work week. Peace Out, World.

 

Hello, It’s Me Again; Mama Bear

Posted on by mamabearraine

Hello! I am the motherly figure in Gertie’s life that they fondly refer me as “Mama Bear.” I haven’t posted in quite sometime and was asked by Gertie to do a brief reintroduction of myself.

I have known Gertie for over 17 years and have seen her grow as person as well as in their recovery. Yes, Gertie has been struggling the last year however I still see them making strides as a person and in their recovery.

As Gertie stated in their post yesterday, they want Junior and myself to post every other week and alternate the weeks we post with the excepting of this week. From my understanding Junior will be posting tomorrow. My post will mainly consist of what its like to be a motherly figure to someone who has lived experience. That shouldn’t be too difficult for me to convey as I am a mother of four children and my two youngest deal with their own mental health struggles. In fact Gertie is a role model and example of what recovery looks like to all four of my children especially my two youngest.

Thank you for reading.

A Two Paragraph Post

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I have decided once again to have Mama Bear and Junior start posting. They have only posted a total of twice each. I have informed them that I would like them to post every other Wednesday with the exception of this week. Mama Bear will post tomorrow while Junior post on Tuesday. On the Wednesdays Mama Bear doesn’t post Junior will and vise versa. As I stated earlier it will start next week.

Thank you for reading and I hope to post again in the next day or so. I appreciate all of you. Peace Out, World

Plans For The Day

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! I didn’t get much sleep last night for various reasons. One of those reasons was due to PTSD. When I woke up this morning I realized my Depression symptoms are worse which I contribute to the lack of sleep.

Due to my symptoms acting up because of the lack of sleep, I realize that I need to make plans for the day. Plans the will keep me safe as well as busy and being a homebody. Being a homebody every once in a while is a good thing just as long as I make sure it doesn’t lead into isolation.

One of the things I do when I am being a homebody for the day is stay in my pajamas. Thankfully, I’m in the pajamas I don’t give a shit if I get paint on. I say this because I am planning on doing some art. One of the forms of art I plan on doing is painting. I am also planning on doing some collaging and coloring. All three art forms are helpful for me to decrease my symptoms of both Depression and PTSD.

Another thing that is helpful for me to decrease my symptoms is reading. I’m planning on reading Ship of Magic by Robin Hobb. So far I’m enjoying the book and am on chapter 8. Another thing I plan on reading are comic books. Specifically, Wonder Woman comic books.

Speaking of books I am planning on doing my workbook. I am learning quite a bit about myself, sexual orientation, gender ideation and most importantly resiliency. It’s also quite challenging for me as well. If a workbook isn’t challenging for me then I don’t find them as helpful as for me as ones that are challenging. It being challenging for me is why I am liking the workbook. It means its going to be helpful.

Another thing that is going to be helpful for me is something that is going to happen this evening.  That something is that I am having two of my closest friends come over to watch some movies. We are going to be watching movies and eating a bunch of junk food. My friends and I are all responsible for some of the food.

Speaking of food, I need to get going to buy what I need for this evening. I hope everyone has a peaceful and restful Sunday. Peace Out, World!!!

A Long Yet Productive Day

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It’s been a long yet productive day. I started off the day with blogging my weekly check-in before heading to the Women’s March. I, of course got to the start of the march early. So, I read.

I am reading the Ship of Magic by Robin Hobb. In fact Ms. Hobb is from the Pacific Northwest (PNW) and still lives in the Washington State. So far I am enjoying the book. I’m only on chapter six but so far so good. I hope to be able to do a book review on Ship of Magic however I can’t promise I will because I might forget to do so.

The march went well. As far as I know there weren’t any issues here in Seattle. I saw many people I know including extended family I hadn’t seen in years. I marched with my dad’s cousin, his friends as well as a number of my friends, and former colleagues. It felt good marching with people from all aspects of my life.

After the march I went and volunteered at the Warm Line. I was the only one on tonight and was “encouraged” to go home early by one of the supervisors of the Crisis Line so I did. It felt good being able to help others even though I was by myself. Being to help others always makes me feel happy and good about myself.

Everything I did today was helpful to my recovery and mental health symptoms despite it being a long ass day. I don’t regret doing anything I did today. In fact when it comes to regrets my the quote I live by is: “When I look back on life, I rather regret the things I did than the things I didn’t do.” I’m not sure who said that but I try to live by it.

As always, I appreciate all of you reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great evening. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Check-In

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! It’s hard to believe that as I sit here typing this post that this is going to be my last weekly check-in of the year. 2017 has not been the best of years for me and many other people I know.

Enough about how horrible 2017 has been because this is a weekly check-in and not a yearly check-in. As many of you are well Christmas was this past Monday. Christmas wasn’t the best I’ve had. I celebrated Christmas with my dads side of the family on Christmas Eve like I do every year. It went well even though it’s most likely going to be my grandma’s last Christmas due to Parkinson’s related issues.

Now on to the not so good part of Christmas. Junior and I went to my mom’s place to celebrate with her, my brother and uncle on Christmas. As always Junior and I stayed in a hotel due to the drama my mom caused due to her having Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). On top of my mom having BPD she has other mental health challenges as well as a Substance Use Disorder (SUD). My mom is actively using heroin. Unfortunately, she overdosed on Christmas Day and I had to administer Naloxone (aka Narcan).  Administering Naloxone (Narcan) isn’t something anyone wants to do much less having to make sure they have it handy at family events. Other than my mom overdosing on Heroin, time with my brother and uncle went great.

After spending time with my moms side of the family, Junior and I state a few more days to hang out with some friends. We had some great fun with our friends as well as great food. Food that we were able to come home with and eat at later time. Leftovers are always yummy.

This year I received some great gifts. I received a handful of books as well as gift cards to bookstores. I also received a lot of art supplies which I am thrilled about. I am excited to be able to read and do some art.

As I end this post, I want to thank you for reading. I hope to post at least one last post of 2017 at some point tomorrow, the last day of the year. I hope everyone has a great day. Peace Out, World!!!