Tag Archives: Love

One of Them Days

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It’s been one of those days where depression and anxiety are both acting up. It’s not a good time for either of them to act up when you work with clients who are in crisis mode. Any way, my supervisors have been very supportive of debriefing about these clients. I love the people I work with but some days are just more challenging than other days.

Anyway, after work I checked in with friends as my cat Billie Dean sat on my lap cuddling. Having my friends give me a reality check and the unconditional love of my cat, Billie has really helped me.

Another thing that has helped me is while my cat cuddled with me, I listened to a podcast about philosophy. Specifically, I am listening to “Philosophize This.” I am learning a great deal about philosophy and feel like I am getting a small education about philosophy.

I do not have very much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my perspective that you read my blog. If it wasn’t for you my reader, reading my blog, I wouldn’t be writing my blog. Again, thank from the bottom of my heart for reading my heart. Peace Out, World!!!

Depression, Anxiety & Love

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! It is exactly midnight in my neck of the woods known as Seattle. The weather in Seattle has been quite sucky the last week including right this moment.

The weather isn’t exactly helping my depression and my anxiety isn’t helping the depression as well. I can tell you that the unconditional love I am receiving from my cat Billie Dean. Billie is such a loving cat who loves to cuddle and that helps with both my anxiety and depression a great deal.

Another thing that is helping with the depression and anxiety is listening to a podcast about philosophy. A podcast that I am being educated on in philosophy. The philosophy podcast I am listening to is “Philosophize This.” I really feel like I am getting an education oh philosophy from this podcast.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is great appreciated from my end of things that you the reader read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Feeling Loved

Posted on by Gertie

Happy Friday, World!!! Today, I am feeling loved. I am feeling loved by my friends and family. Let’s start with me getting home from work. My grandpa and uncle had come over and helped clean up a little bit of my apartment. They didn’t have to do this but they did and I feel loved my this.

Another way I am feeling loved is that some of my friends who are neighbors made me dinner and invited me over to eat dinner with them. Spending time with people who care about me while eating good food makes me feel loved.

Last but not least, my cat, Billie Dean always gives me love. Billie’s love for me is unconditional. Anyone who has ever had a pet knows the unconditional love an animal is able to give.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it wasn’t for you reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

The Comfort of My Cat, Billie Sitting in My Lap

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! Today has been not one of my best days at work. It also hasn’t been one of my worst days at work. The type of day I had at work is like riding a rollercoaster that goes upside down on three different occasions. Not get me wrong I love riding rollercoasters for fun. I just don’t like when my work day feels like a rollercoaster. I hope I am making sense with what I am trying to convey.

Anyway, I had an uncomfortable interaction with a colleague today. Not meaning to offend this colleague because I admire this person. So, long story short, I was able to check in with my supervisor who validated my experience and informed me that I didn’t do anything wrong. My direct supervisor is finally back from FMLA and she is awesome. My temporary supervisor is awesome as well. Hell, all the supervisors are amazing and feel supported by them as well as the clinical director.

One of the best parts of my job, the clinicians come to me for advice on help to help the clients we serve at my employers. It feels good when people come to me to be of help for our clients. It also feels odd at times when the lead peer specialist most likely would be the best bet to go to for advice regarding helping clients. Sadly, the lead peer specialist isn’t my biggest fan which I won’t discuss here but I do admire her. She has some awesome insight on things that I know nothing about. I love learning things from the lead peer specialist despite her not liking me.

On that note my colleagues are quite supportive. My colleagues gave me the encouragement I needed and was not expecting it. I am glad that my colleagues are beyond awesome.

Now that I am off work, I am writing this particular blog post with my cat, Billie Dean, on my lap as I listen to a podcast on philosophy. The podcast of the philosophy I am listening to is “Philosophize This.” I am learning a lot about philosophy from the podcast I am listening to.

Another thing I am learning philosophy from is the book is “The Republic and Other Works” by Pluto. I feel like I am getting a great education about philosophy from the book I am reading. I love learning and educating myself.

As far as my cat Billie Dean, he is still laying curled up in my lap. He knows that my day has had some stress in it so he is trying to get me to be more mindful of the present versus the past even the recent past such as my work day today. I love my cat, Billie so much and that he gives me unconditional love even though I do not deserve the unconditional love he gives me. I so love how is is such a cuddly love but of a a cat.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog because if it wasn’t for you the reader, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my hear for reading my blog. Peace Our, World!!!

Monday Blues

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I am having the case of the Monday blues. I can blame it on the typical weather here in Seattle. I can blame it on my messy ass apartment. I can blame it on my right knee being in pain. Hell, I can blame it on everything I just mentioned which is part of why I am partly depressed.

Not only am experiencing depression from what I just mentioned, I am experiencing it from my actual diagnosis of depression. Sadly, I can also contribute the depression the anxiety that I have been having. The increased anxiety and depression is partly because I was physically attacked by a neighbor a few weeks ago.

When I got attacked I didn’t call the police first because I thought going to the emergency room first was the most important thing I could do so I did. Sadly, I am still in pain in my right knee. Specifically, my right is the knee that is bone on bone arthritis which sucks shit when it got injured while being physically attack.

The attack finally caught up to me both physically and mentally. I took today off due to the depression and anxiety while being in knee pain. That is why I am taking tomorrow off due to going to the doctor’s office to get my knee checked out by my doctor. I will also be seeing my therapist like I always do on Tuesdays.

As much as I wish I worked today and can work tomorrow but I need to focus on myself so I can help my clients. If I’m not doing well physically or mentally, how can I be have help to the clients I serve.

On that note, my cat Billie Dean is helping me so much. Billie is helping a great deal with both my anxiety and depression. Billie’s unconditional love for me is amazing and helps me love other people. Pets can also help with depression and anxiety and help with the healing process of health issues.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Just Another Random Post About Nothing in Particular

Posted on by Gertie

Good Late Evening, World!!! As much as I love my job and the work I do, today was a rough day for me. It was a rough day because two clients I had appointments with today, had experienced someone close to them die by suicide within the last couple of days. It’s never easy dealing with loosing somebody close to you to suicide. I did what I could to help my clients and I personally experienced some secondary trauma from hearing both of my clients experience. Its not easy especially when you have experienced similar traumas as the clients. The best I could do was listen and I personally don’t think that is enough but in these cases is enough.

Something that I did was reach out to my therapist to help me with the dialog I was having in my head about my clients as well as the dialog I am having about quitting wanting quit my meds. I’m not going to stop my meds but wanted my therapist to know. I also have a couple of support friends who are a part of my Wellness Recovery Action Plan (WRAP) who know about the meds. I am feeling supported by my friends and therapist and the love they give me.

My cat Billie Dean is of course loving on me as he picks up the stuff I am dealing with. Billie is the sweetest lap cat one can have. I am blessed to have Billie in my life as he loves me and gives me the hope to live just like my friends. Billie is an amazing cat and I love him so much for his unconditional love me.

Another thing that is a part for my WRAP is mindfulness by myself as well as with my clients.. Mindfulness helps me greatly

I don’t have much more say in this particular blog post. I just want to thank you reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again thank you for reading my block. I hope you have a good night of sleep. Peace OUt, World!!!

Monday Evening Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! It is 9:24pm on a Monday evening here in Seattle. Monday’s are the start of the work week for me. Normally, I would have gone into the office today but I decided not to for no reason except I wanted to work from home. I didn’t have any clients that had an in person appointment with me today so I was able to work from home. I did have appointments with client but they were all scheduled for a virtual appointment or telephone appointment. Normally, I wouldn’t have worked from home today but my anxiety was through the roof and my depression was slightly acting up. I really do think working from home today helped both my anxiety and depression.

As far as my anxiety and depression they are doing much better than this morning. Working from home helped a great deal. Even though working from home helped, I think being home with my cat, Billie Dean, helped the anxiety and depression the most. Billie would not let me leave his sight and when he does this I think it is way to make sure I refocus myself. Refocus by realizing I have a responsibility my cat, Billie, who depends on me to make sure he is fed and taken care of which includes his health care. His unconditional love helps me be a more loving person to others and most importantly more loving to myself. For that I am forever grateful for Billie my cat as well as my last kitty Lil Gertie. The love I have received from all the pets I have had is what has helped me love myself and other people.

Since we kind of on the topic of love; something that has also helped me with self love as well as help my anxiety and depression is mindfulness. Mindfulness has helped me great deal with my mental health recovery. Mindfulness helps me make better decisions for my life even though I will still make mistakes.

I do not have much more to discuss in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. If it wasn’t for you my reader I would not be writer my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom from my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great rest of you Monday. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Check-In

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I realize I haven’t done weekly check-ins in a while. I will do my best to do weekly check-ins more regularly. Whenever, I do weekly check-in’s I wonder what you the reader think of them.

On that note, this week has been quite the week. A week that went by slowly but also had good moments in it. Let’s use today as an example. My grandpa and uncle came by my apartment to help me clean it. They didn’t have to do this but they did. I still have a lot to do with cleaning my apartment however I am greatly appreciative that I had help from family. I am also grateful for the love my family has for me.

Speaking of love, I feel the love from my friends as well. A neighbor of mine who is a friend invited me over for dinner twice this past week. I was able to have dinner with this friend both times she invited me to dinner. It was nice spend time with this friend.

As far as work goes, it went well this week. It did go by slowly but that is okay because some weeks are going to be like that. Yesterday (Friday), was paperwork day. I was bored as I was and am all caught up on paperwork. I was able to get some unexpected stuff done thanks to my supervisor and small group team. A client will be benefitting because of the help of my supervisor and colleagues.

This past week I realized, I haven’t been doing mindfulness meditation practices on the daily basis like I was at the beginning of the year. So, I started it back up again three days ago. Mindfulness meditation practice helps me be able to be a better person as well as help me cope.

Another thing I have started back up is journaling on the daily basis. I am using journaling daily as a form of a daily check-in with myself. Doing some journaling daily as a form of a check-in with myself will also help me figure out what I need to work on with my therapist.

Now on to the topic of my cat, Billie Dean. Billie has been more of a cuddle bug than he normally is. I am not one hundred percent sure why he is being more of a cuddle bug, I am grateful that he is being more of a cuddle bug. Having Billie in my life has been quite helpful and I love him so very much.

I do not have anything else to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciative from my end of things that you read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

The Never Ending Day

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! Today feels like the never ending day. It feels like a never ending day because it is going by so slowly. I have no clue why it feels like it is going so slowly but at least it’s been a relatively good day.

This week at work some folks were changed to different days to do crisis coverage. I was one of those folks and am now assigned to do crisis coverage during business hours on Thursdays. So today was first Thursday, I did crisis coverage. All the folks on Thursdays are great people but not as interactive as the Friday crisis coverage folks. On that note, when I found out I was being switched to Thursdays, I asked if I could continue to do Fridays crisis coverage and was told yes just as long I do Thursdays. That’s fine with me because I love working with folks in crisis. I was informed that I cannot do more than two days of crisis coverage and I am okay with that.

Thankfully, I am currently off work. I am listening to a podcast about philosophy. Actually, the philosophy podcast I am currently listening to is Philosophize This. I love this podcast for many reasons and I learn a great deal from it. I wish I learned philosophy when I was in high school but sadly that was not an option from the high school I graduated from.

As I sit here blogging and listening to Philosophize This, my cat, Billie Dean, is laying next to me purring. I love the fact that Billie is content with laying next me as I sit blogging and listening to a podcast. Billie is such a love bug of a cat. I love the unconditional love the my cat, Billie gives me. I love my cat so very much.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reading I would not be blogging. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope you all have a great evening. Peace Out, World!!!

A Buttload of Emotions

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! Today, I have had a buttload of emotions. The main emotion that bothered me today was anger. Anger over a training at work. I know why I was angry and it really didn’t have anything to do with the training itself but the trainer. Even though the trainer didn’t do anything negative in the training today, I have had some pretty negative experiences with this person. The negative experiences I had with this person was about fifteen years ago and thought I was over it till I saw this person and realize that I wasn’t over it.

So, when the training was over I did a five minute mindfulness meditation practice. A mindfulness meditation practice that helped a great deal and did two more times before the end of work. All three times I did the mindfulness meditation practice helped a great deal.

After work I called a friend as a well as my grandpa. After talking with both my friend and grandpa on the phone, I visited a neighbor in my building who has become a friend. Talking with friends and family helped a great deal. I felt the love from friends and family and that helped with my anger.

Speaking of love, I felt the love from my cat, Billie Dean. He could tell I was have a challenging time so he sat on my lap. Billie being on my lap also helped my anger. I am so grateful that my cat, Billie, can tell when I am having tough moments like today. He is an amazing kitty and I love him so much.

I do not have anything else to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. If it wasn’t for you my reading I wouldn’t be blogging. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!