Tag Archives: Mental Health

A Complicated Valentines Day & Snow Finally Melting Away

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! The last week has been quite a week. In fact it was snowing here in the Seattle area for a good ten or so days and finally stopped yesterday. Granted it didn’t snow yesterday (Wednesday) but it was still at freezing if not below freezing outside so the snow stayed around. Now it is warm enough to melt the snow. It is currently raining in the city of Seattle. Sadly snow is could be in the forecast again this weekend which is something nobody really wants at the moment.

As many of you know, today is Valentines Day. A holiday I never liked even when I had a significant other as why do we need a special day to say “I love you.” This year is a complicated Valentines Day. Not as complicated as last year but still complicated. Today makes the one year anniversary of my grandma passing away. Today has been a difficult day for me and the rest of my family.

Sadly, I was not able to see my therapist this past Tuesday due to the agency I am a client at was closed due to the snow and was hoping to see him before today so we could come up with a plan to handle the grief I am dealing with today. He did call me yesterday and we discussed ways on how I can remember my grandma today. We even made another appointment for me to see him tomorrow (Friday) so, I can check in with him to see how things went today. In fact he did call me today as well to check in on me as he wanted to make sure I was still doing okay. I am still doing okay but I really miss my grandma. I am grateful for my therapist checking up on me and rescheduling our appointment.

I do not have much more to say in this post. I hope to be posting more but right now I am fighting off isolation and grief. I hope to post sometime this weekend. I want to thank you for reading my blog as it is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a great evening. Peace Out, World!!!

The Count Down Is On

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I can’t believe I almost forgot to post about this as today (Thursday) February 7th marks one month till my 40th birthday. I honestly did not think I would make it to my 40th birthday. I say this as I thought I would have died by suicide by the time I turned forty and have absolutely NO plans on doing so as I am in a really good place with my mental health challenges.

As much as I am thrilled that I am a month away from being forty years old, I can not help but think of all the ways that helped me get to where I am at. First and for most if it wasn’t for Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) and many years of various types of therapy including DBT, I would not be here writing this post now.  I really thought I would have died by suicide and due to many people who believed in me, I am still here.

I am beyond grateful that I am still here as I have so much I can offer this world. Yes, I have some pretty bad downs however, I now know that I can get through them with with my DBT skill and the help of my friends as well as my mental health treatment team. To me making it to forty is proof that no matter how difficult things are, you can get through it. It might seem daunting as it most certainly is at the time but just know you can make it through.

I don’t have much more to say as I just posted about twenty minutes ago on an entire different topic. Thank you so much for ready my blog as it is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a good rest of their night. Peace Out, World!!!

Just Read if You Want to Know What I Said

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I have a lot to catch you up on as a great deal has happened since I last posted. Let’s start with the employment part of my life or should I say the job seeker part of my life at the moment. Yes, I am still employed as an on call shelter counselor however it is not a job I want to be at for forever and a day. That means I have been sending out my resume’s to various places especially those who have Peer Specialist/Counselor jobs. I got call this past Tuesday from the HR person from the agency I am client of asking if I wanted an interview for one of the peer positions and I stated yes. So, I had an interview yesterday (Wednesday) and I don’t think it went all that well. I am not holding my breath on getting this position as I am a client of the agency that gave me the interview. I think it is best for all involved that I have low expectations in getting this job due to not being disappointed if I don’t get it. My employment specialist informed me that from her understanding with talking with one of the interviewers, I did a really good job at the interview and am on the bottom of the short list only because I am a client and I informed my employment specialist that I am okay with that as I understand the ethical conflict of the situation.

Other than the interview yesterday (Wednesday) and working Sunday night into Monday morning, I have not done much of anything but go see my therapist and employment specialist this past Tuesday. Mainly because it has been snowing outside and today was the first day the roads and sidewalks were decent enough to do anything. Sadly, the weather is not going to get better like it was today. Tomorrow (Friday), it suppose to start snowing again in the Seattle area. A good portion of folks that live in the Seattle area don’t do well in the snow, myself include. I really am not a big fan of the cold and snow. But I am one to say if it is cold enough to snow it might as well as snow.

Due to the snow storm that is suppose to happen this weekend I plan on not doing much of anything but hanging out at home with my cat, Lil Gertie. I figure this will be the perfect time to settle in and start on the workbook “The Artist Way” that I was telling you about a few post ago. In fact I am still assuming that it has you do art type things due to the title but I have read a little bit of the introduction and part of it requires you to do some journaling everyday which could be challenging to do daily but I am to doing it. Most of me is looking forward to it however some of me is sort of fearful of it as I am afraid of the things it will bring up. Whatever it brings up, I have a good support system in place to help me as well as my cat, Lil Gertie. In fact I am looking forward to hibernating here at home in the snowy cold weather with my cat, Lil Gertie. I don’t think there is a better way of spending wintry weather than spending it with my cat, Lil Gertie.

I do not have much more to say in this post. I do hope to post some time later tonight or tomorrow. I will keep you updated on the snowy weather here in Seattle. Thank you very much for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a goodnight. Peace Out, World!!!

A Workplace Post

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! As I type this post, I am at work. I am bored half out of my mind and freezing but at least I have someone to keep me company as the shelter guest sleep. I am an On-Call Shelter Counselor at a young adult shelter here in Seattle and love my job for the most part. I really don’t like being on-call but hey, its a job. As I mentioned earlier I have someone to keep me company as I am training someone. I didn’t know I was training this person till I arrived to work. I am just shocked that my supervisor is having me train the new person as I am only an on-call person and don’t work very often. In fact the last time I took a shift was back in late November. The new person appears to be cool and has connected well with some of the shelter guest which is awesome.

In all honesty I would rather be at home in my own bed asleep at the moment. I am not tired at this moment in time as I slept really well during the day on Sunday as I knew I had to work a shift. I just don’t like when my sleep schedule gets all fucked up as I already have trouble sleeping.

Another reason why I was at home is primarily because of the weather. It is currently snowing in Seattle. I highly dislike the snow. I am not sure why but I have a few idea but won’t share them with you as I do not want to bore you. I not only don’t like the snow, I don’t like the cold weather. It is suppose to get windy and heavier snow later today (Monday) which sucks shit.

As much as I don’t like the news about windy, snowy weather for today (Monday), I am looking forward to hopefully hearing back from my employment specialist and/or the hiring manager of the peer job I applied for to see if I get an interview in the next week or two. I say this because I want and need a job that has a more stable schedule. Having a job that is only on-call sucks but I am grateful to have a job.

I do not have much more to say in this particular post. I hope to post later on today when I am off work and well rested after working a twelve hour shift at night. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. Peace Out, World!!!

Just A Boring Post About Employment

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I am getting myself psyched to go into work tomorrow night (Sunday) as I really don’t want to go into work. I could have said no but the last few times I was asked to go into work I said no. So, in essence I felt obligated to go into work tomorrow. So that means tonight I will be pulling an all-niter so I can sleep during the day tomorrow (Sunday).  Staying up all night tonight and tomorrow will reek havoc on my already bad sleep patterns due to insomnia.

Due to the unpredictable schedule, I am applying for new jobs. In fact my employment specialist sent my resume to one of the supportive housing programs that the agency I am a client of oversee’s. Yes, I can work for the agency I am client of. I am personally hesitant to do so but if it gets me from being in an on call position then I will take the job. I was informed that the supervisor of the program my resume was sent will get back to me no later than Tuesday to schedule an interview with me. I really want this job but I won’t be hurt if I don’t get it as I am sure the person they hire will be the best fit for the job. I am also looking into applying for other peer jobs but it is difficult to find part time peer jobs at the moment.

I don’t have much more to say. I am pretty sure I will blog later as I am trying to stay up all night so I can sleep during the day tomorrow (Sunday) as I work tomorrow night. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. Peace Out, World!!

Update On 2019 Goals

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! I hope everyone is having a good Thursday so far. I have been thinking a great deal about my 2019 goals especially since the major goal I had for this year has already been completed and it only the last day of January. That goal was to get my dental work done and the only thing that is left is going into seeing the denurist once a moth for six to twelve months for some adjustments to my dentures. Yes, I still of some things left to do regarding my teeth but the major part of it has been accomplished. So, since I have accomplished my major goal for the year, I need to focus on my other goals. I discussed this with my therapist when I saw him this past Tuesday and he suggested that the goal I could put most of my focus on without forgetting about the other goals is completing at least one of my workbooks.

I agreed with the workbook idea. I informed him that I don’t know what workbook to work on as some of them I have already started and haven’t even finished the second chapter. He asked if I ever bought the workbook “The Artist’s Way” and I informed him I did. He suggested I do “The Artist Way” workbook as it will pull out my creative side and be challenging in a good way. He suggest this workbook several months ago as he thought it would be good for me to do and he wouldn’t be recommending the workbook to me if he didn’t complete it himself. To me that is what I like to hear when someone suggest a workbook that they have completed it. When he brought up again in our session this past Tuesday, I informed him that it was a good idea that I do this particular workbook especially since it will involve art and journaling. Both of which is quite helpful to me and my recovery. So I am looking forward to what this workbook has to bring especially since it involves both art and journaling. So, focusing on this workbook is going to be the next major goal I focus on to accomplish for 2019 and I will not neglect my other smaller goals as I have set time aside for all of my goals.

I don’t have much more to say and hope to continue to update you on my 2019 goals as I continue to accomplish them. Have a great day. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, have a great day. Peace Out, World!!!

There Is No Place Like Home

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I am home and have been for a few hours. It is so nice to be home and able to sleep in my own bed instead of a couch. My cat, Lil Gertie, appears to be happy to be home as well. I do have to say my apartment is still cold as I had the windows slightly opened when I was gone to have it not be so stuffy in my apartment. It sure seems that it is taking an extremely long time for it to warm back up after closing the windows and turning on the heat full blast.

Since I have been home, I decided to do some art. In fact I have decided to do some painting as I was not able to paint when I was at my grandpa’s. That is okay as it has me more appreciative of different genres of art.

Now I am about to curl up in my own bed to read. I am really enjoying the book I am reading. I hope to do a book review when I am finished with the book. I am reading “Lost Boys” by Orson Scott Card. Orson Scott Card is a really good author or that is my opinion of him.

I do not have much more to say except that there is no place like home. I hope everyone has a good rest of their Monday evening. I would also like to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Peace Out, World!!!

Nothing But Boring Sh*t

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! I am still at my grandpa’s place. I would like to be home now but I am not because my uncle is working and my grandpa has three appointments to attend. I will, however, will be going home later this afternoon. I am looking forward to going home even though it was nice to waited on a little bit due to my oral surgery but then again being waited on isn’t all what it is cracked up to be. I say this because I am sure my grandpa will throw it up in my face like he does a lot of other things. When he throws things up in my face, I tend to loose it as I hate it when things are thrown in my face especially since I never asked him to do most of the things he throws up in my face. Loosing it, over someone bringing shit up into my face is something my therapist and I are working on as it something I know longer want to do and it not very productive.

Right now, my mouth is in a great deal of pain. Not the worst pain I have experienced in regards to my oral surgery but it hurts. I think it hurts like hell at the moment is due to the fact that I attempted to eat something I haven’t tried with my dentures and healing mouth. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and well it wasn’t quite soft enough. I know I will heal and eventually get use to my dentures but I want something more substantial in my stomach than soup or a smoothie and other such foods.

Well, I am excited for this Friday. I will be spending time with a friend who I met working for my last employer. She is struggling at the moment and I am treating her to lunch. She is dealing with a lot of shit at work and needs a distraction. Another reason why I am excited for Friday is that I will be spending time with a friend I went school with from third to ninth grades down in California. She now lives in Washington, and lives about two and half hours away from me. We make an effort to get together every month or two, to catch up and have fun.

I don’t have much more to say as I don’t want to bore you with repetitive shit that I have already said. I hope to blog later when I am finally home. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a great work week. Happy Monday and Peace Out, World!!!

The Irritability That Seems Like A Never Ending Story

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am quite irritable at the moment. My grandpa is starting to get on my nerves. First he won’t put in his hearing aids to the television is up to an unbearable noise. Noise to where his upstairs neighbor came down and him to turn it down. He said “no” and then twenty minutes later the cops showed up. Lets put it this way, he refused to turn it down and now the television is turn off. He said if “I can’t hear the t.v then nobody watches it.” Which means he is only punishing himself as well as me. All he needs to do is stick in his hearing aids and put on his hearing aid amplifier and then he would not have to be miserable. I just don’t understand why he could make life easier for himself by putting in his hearing aids. If he would have just turned down the television when the neighbor complained about it then the police would’t have been called by the neighbors. But then again the neighbors dog kept my grandpa, my uncle and myself up last night due to its howling. The dog must have been loud if my grandpa could hear it without his hearing aids. I am don’t trying to excuse my grandpa but his irritability as well as some of mine was caused by the neighbors dog due to the lack of sleep from the dog howling. The other part of my irritability is caused by the commotion that was caused due the loud television and the neighbor. I don’t blame the neighbor as it is Sunday and I wouldn’t want to hear somebody else’s television however her dog kept a lot of her neighbors up last night and not just my grandpa. I guess I am just frustrated over the entire issue as it could have been preventable if my grandpa would have swallowed his pride and put on at least his hearing aids.

Another reason why I am personally irritable is the pain I am in due to the oral surgery I had this past Wednesday. I know I shouldn’t be complaining about the pain as it is only temporary but my mouth hurts like hell and yes, I know I should be grateful and I am but I highly dislike being in pain. I know overall that getting my teeth fixed will help with my self esteem however it appears to me that all I am focused on is the now which is the pain and not what it will help me with later, my self esteem.

I have yet another reason why I am irritable which is me being hungry. I am not able to fully chew yet due to my gums not being fully healed from the surgery and I am not quite use to my dentures. I am pretty much still limited to liquids and some soft foods which sucks but I know once I am healed and use to the dentures I will be able to eat even more than I was able to before my teeth were pulled. I say that because my teeth were so bad I couldn’t eat nuts and I love nuts. I know some people struggle eating nuts with dentures but I know with practice and determination I will be able to eat nuts again.

I think I need to do something to help myself not be so irritable. I think I will read a chapter or two the book that I am reading. I also will do some art work. The only things I have to do art work wise here at my grandpa is collaging and coloring. So, think with the combination with reading and the art work I have to work on will help with my irritability. Irritability that is caused by a number of factors.

I don’t have much else to say and it is almost twelve noon in my corner of the world that I think it time to get something to eat. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated, as if it wasn’t for you my reader, I wouldn’t have continued to blog. Again, thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

 

Just Another Random Post

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! I hope everyone is having a good Saturday!!! Right now I am in some pain due to having all my teeth pulled out on Wednesday morning. The only thing they gave me for pain is ibuprofen. It sucks that all they gave me for pain is ibuprofen however I understand due to the opioid epidemic here in the United States. I am hoping that the pain subsides sooner than later because I want to be able to eat solid food again. All I am eating is liquids and some soft food like scrambled eggs and cream of wheat.

I have been spending the last few days with my grandpa due to the oral surgery. He was worried how I would be taking the pain. Not only that, when I get sick or something, my mental health symptoms start to increase so I am thinking that my grandpa wanted to make sure that the oral surgery didn’t increase my mental health symptoms. Yes, my depression and PTSD has slightly increased but I think being around my grandpa has helped a great deal and the fact that my therapist and I discussed on ways to be preventive about my mental health symptoms.

I have been reading a great deal since I got my oral surgery. I am about half way done with the book I am currently reading and that is a major deal since I just had all my teeth pulled and dealing with pain isn’t helpful to one’s concentration. I am also happy that I am half way done with the book as it make me that much closer to accomplishing another one of my 2019 goals. That goal is to read six books this year. I would have a higher number but since I really didn’t accomplish reading any books last year due to my mental health, I decided to make it a realistic goal.

Speaking of goals, the one 2019 goal I already completed was getting my dental work done. Yes, I am in pain from the oral surgery and the dentures aren’t helping much in that department, it is a goal I have completed and can check off my list. In fact it is a major goal that has been accomplished for this year. I am so glad it is done and of the way or at least the major part of it is. I will still need to go in for follow ups regarding the dentures but that is the easy part of the goal.

Since it is nearly one thirty in the afternoon in my neck of the woods, I am thinking I need to get dressed for the day. I am also hoping my grandpa can take me shopping at Walmart so I can use my gift card I received for Christmas. I am not a big fan of Walmart but I am not going to waste someone’s money due to the fact I am not a fan of the place.

With that all being said, I really think I should end this post. I hope everyone has a great Saturday and weekend ahead. Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. Again, I hope everyone has an awesome weekend. Peace Out, World!!!