Sleepless in Seattle, Ramblings

Good Morning, World!!! I am unable to sleep at the moment and it has nothing to do with my cat and every thing to deal with the symptoms of my mental health challenges. Dealing with a mental health condition is not my idea of fun yet I have learned a great deal from them. I have learned that acceptance of oneself is not easy however you can still have fun despite all the challenges the conditions bring.

For an example; painting can be fun. I love to paint. I am painting an abstract version of my cat for my grandpa per his request. My grandpa loves the idea that I am painting. He thinks it is a great way to express myself in a healthy and productive way.

Something else that being in recovery brings to me is faith. Or at least searching for a particular faith. Right now I have been reading books on Buddhism. It has given me some hope and peace that I have been looking for. Some people in my life may not like the idea that I am looking into Buddhism but they are grateful that I am searching for some type of faith even if it is not their faith.

I have been working on my strengths based recovery workbook. That part that I am working on is about attitudes. That attitudes that it is discussing at the moment is hope and courage. I am thrilled that I decided to get this workbook as I have been finding it quite helpful to me as well as to my recovery.

I find it amazing that being able to write in the middle of the night can come easy to me. Maybe it is because I am naturally a night owl or that I am more creative at night. Whatever the reason, I am glad that I can express myself in a healthy way. A way that my old therapist, Diana, would be proud of me.

Thank you for reading. Have a great morning and Peace Out, World!!!

Cat + Scrap Booking = Helping Anxiety

Good Afternoon, World!!! I am struggling the moment however Lil Gertie is helping me through the struggle. She is sitting next to me purring up at storm. She knows when to come up to me when my anxiety is acting up.

I having been scrap booking about Lil Gertie. I have added pictures to a SMASH scrap book / journal type thing and writing about Lil Gertie. I have been adding other things to the scrap book as well but so far it appears to be mainly Lil Gertie in it at the moment.

Scrap booking and Lil Gertie appear to be helping with my anxiety at the moment. Both also appear to be helping with the symptoms of PTSD as well.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out World!!!

I Don’t Think My Cat Realizes It’s Sunday

Good Morning, World!!! I don’t think Lil Gertie realizes it is Sunday. Sunday is meant to either sleep in or go to a religious service and sometimes both. For me it is meant to sleep in. If you read my blog regularly you know sleep doesn’t come easy for me.

I think what I am going to do is attempt to go back to sleep. Especially since Lil Gertie is taking a cat nap at the moment.

I will also be reading. Reading two books on Buddhism. One is called Why Buddhism Is True while the other book is Buddhist Scriptures. Right now I am looking into Buddhism and it is giving me hope and a sense of peace. A Peace that I need at the moment.

Thank you for reading my blog. It is extremely appreciated. Peace Out, World!!!

Relapse Update

Good Evening, World!!! I had a good time with my family. As much as I love them, I am grateful to be back home. Back home with Lil Gertie.

To tell you the truth I think I was more grateful to be home on Thursday as I was in the hospital overnight due to a suicide attempt. An attempt that was triggered by PTSD symptoms. I informed a friend of mine who lives in my apartment building. He took me to the hospital and informed my family as well as Junior. My neighbor and Junior took care of Lil Gertie all day Wednesday and most of the day Thursday before I got the all clear to come home. Junior brought me home and I have had friends and family check up on me to make sure I’m okay.

I was more worried about Lil Gertie than me and realize that if I am feeling suicidal again that I will reach out to people who care. People who have care about me for a long time. I know of people who don’t have the support that I do when it comes to helping me when it comes to my mental health challenges. Recovery is all about getting back up on the horse and wiping yourself off when you fall.

The lesson I have learned is that I may not have someone to be available to take care of Lil Gertie. She is dependent on me to take care of her. I can not let my emotions get the better of me as I have Lil Gertie to help me with that as well as needing to take care of her.

Thank you for reading and I am not currently suicidal nor a risk to harm myself in any way. You are all awesome. Peace Out, World!!!

Spending Time With Family

Hello, World!!! Right now I am spending time with my grandpa and dad. Since I am spending time over at my grandpa’s I am doing my laundry. I am doing a load of laundry at my grandpa’s so I wouldn’t have to pay to do laundry in my apartment building.

I am missing Lil Gertie as I am away from her right now. She has been quite helpful for me and my anxiety. She is a little cuddle bug.

I just wanted to make sure I blogged today. I will try to blog later to inform you what has been going on the last few days. Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Friday Evening Ramblings

Good Evening, World!!! My therapist checked in with me before he left the office for the three day weekend. He reminded me the free music event going on this weekend at the Seattle Center. I plan on going to Folk Life on Monday with my friend from high school.

My anxiety has been acting up so I have been painting. I painted or attempted to paint another picture of Lil Gertie. I am hoping that with practicing that I could get good enough to sell some of my art.

Well I need to go and eat dinner. Have good three day weekend. Have a Happy Friday. Peace Out, World!!!

Nothing But Cat & Therapy Talk

Good Morning, World!!! Lil Gertie has been keeping me busy and has been helping me through some rough moments. Moments I don’t want to discuss at the moment.

I saw my therapist yesterday and he really cares. He is concerned about me but thinks that Lil Gertie is being of help to me. He is now seeing me twice a week to help reduce the anxiety I have been dealing with lately. One session is going to be here at home and the other is going to be in the office. We are going to try doing this for about six weeks to see how it goes.  It is a type of exposure therapy he is going to be trying with me.

Lil Gertie takes great pictures if she would stay still long enough. I will post more sometime over the weekend. She really is a sweet cat. A cat that appears to be perfect for me.

Thank you for reading. Have wonderful three day weekend all. Peace Out, World

 

Cat Therapy = Waiting For My Therapist

Hello, World!!! I have been so high anxiety that my therapist is coming to see me later on today. He is an amazing therapist. Part of the reason he is coming is the anxiety but the other is to meet my cat. Yes, he will have another clinician with him which is I think an awesome idea for ethical reasons. In fact he asked if his supervisor could come because she wants to meet Lil Gertie as well. They are also coming to make sure I am keeping my apartment clean which I am doing.

Lil Gertie has be quite helpful for me in regards to my Anxiety and PTSD symptoms. Its like she has a sixth sense of knowing when I am having and flashback and body memory. She comes up to me and snuggles with me. She woke me up from a nightmare by licking my nose. So she is very aware of what is going on with the PTSD side of things. I love Lil Gertie so much.  She knows when to help me.

Thanks so much for reading. It means a great deal to me. Have a great day to everyone of you. Peace Out, World!!!

Furry Friend, Wake Up Call

Good Morning, World!!! I, once again got woken up buy Lil Gertie with her licking me smack dab on the nose. I have an inkling this is going to be an everyday or almost everyday occurrence. I have this inkling because she has done it two days in a row now.

Today, I am have two appointments. One with my therapist and one with someone with the vocational team at the mental health agency I am client of.  I am of course going to be discussing my new cat with my therapist. I will be discussing employment with him as well as with the vocational person.

I should get going as Lil Gertie is trying to get my attention. Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Random Thoughts

Good Evening, World!!! I came home from Art Group and Lil Gertie came running to me purring. Little did she know she was going to the veterinarian. Dr. B the vet is “impressed” on how sweet Lil Gertie is. She explained to me that she is overall in good health considering the trauma she has had. Dr. B explained to me on how to help Lil Gertie with the ear problems she has had and most likely will continue to have.

After bringing Lil Gertie home from the vet I had dinner with friends. We had corn beef, cabbage, potato’s and carrots with strawberry shortcake for dessert. It was yummy. Junior was there and he came home with me.

Now that we are at my place, Little Gertie appears to like Junior. Junior also likes Lil Gertie. He is in love with her but he can’t have her. I love them both so much.

I am going to get going and spend time with Junior. Have a great day. Peace Out, World!!!