Tag Archives: Recovery

A Strange Request at a Piano Bar

Posted on by Gertie

As part of a local carnival it is tradition to have a Piano Bar. A tradition nobody can comprehend how it came about to be a tradition as having a Piano Bar can make it quite awkward at times.

It becomes awkward at times because a juvenile or two would be having fun at the carnival yet let themselves into the piano bar despite being underage to have alcohol. The juveniles would go into the bar wearing mask asking for an oxidation of an alcoholic drink that included an apple flavoring. On occassion the underage juveniles would be able to get the drink.

This casued a great deal of controversy as when the juneviles would get drunk they would start twirling around and ended up getting a sprained ankle as they would fall into a sassafras tree. This was controversy due to the fact that nobody wanted to be responsible for a juvenile being drunk and injured.

11 O’clock New Turned Off & Back To Reading

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! I was watching the eleven o’clock news and realized I needed to turn it off. I’m getting sick and tired of hearing about President Trump and how much of a jerk he is. I don’t understand why he thinks everything is fake news. Granted the news can hold some things back or misinform however if all news sources but one are “fake” then something is not right with President Trump. I have a few friends who call Trump, President Cheetohead and I have to agree I can Mr. Trump that on occasion.

If it wasn’t for all the negative news about Trump I wouldn’t have turned of the news as I’m getting tired of his derogatory comments. I turned off the news and started reading Ship of Magic by Robin Hobb. I am really enjoying this book. It appears that I’m going to be reading the next book in the trilogy which is called Mad Ship. I am so grateful that when the new becomes triggering that I can turn it off and do something else like reading.

Thank you for reading. Its greatly appreciated. Have a good night and I hope you sleep well. Peace out, World!!!

Tough Day = Doing Things I Enjoy

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! I’ve been having a tough day. That means I’m doing my best to do the things that I enjoy doing. Things that bring me joy.

As many of you know art brings me joy. Its not just creating art that brings me joy its being able to give it away to individuals that mean something to me as a person. I just finish a painting for me case manager. My case manager hasn’t given up on me when she could have transferred me to another clinician but hasn’t done so. That’s why I am giving her a piece of my art.

Another thing that brings me joy is reading. I enjoy it because it helps me focus on something else other than being stuck in my own head. That’s why I love reading so much. Being able to be absorbed in a book is helpful to one’s imagination and not focus on what the realities of the world.

While creating art for my case manager and reading to get out of my head, I listened to music. IĀ  love being able to enjoy music as I am being able to do things that bring me joy. Doing things that bring me joy is quite helpful for me and my head space.

Thank you for reading my blog. Its much appreciated!!! Peace Out, World !!!

Poetry; Day Four: Journey

Posted on by Gertie

The Journey of Recovery

by Gertie

Recovery is a path.

A path that is journey.

A journey that has valley’s as deep as Death Valley.

Peeks so high that its like you are looking down from the peek of Mount Everest.

The journey isn’t always deep or high its sometimes flat and boring or even like a rollercoaster that goes upside and backwards.

The journey of recovery isn’t meant to be flat and easy but its well worth it.

It’s worth it to have a life worth living, whatever that looks like to you.

Weekly Plans

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! As I sit here starting this post, I realize that I forgotĀ to do my weekly check-in yesterday.Ā I’m disapointed that I didn’t do it like I said I would however I’ve also been blogging more on the regular basis that you a well aware of what my week was like. So my plans for the week are as follows:

Sunday:

  • Blog which is obvious as this is my third post of the day. I also plan to blog my poem for the intro to poetry course later on today.
  • Art. I plan on doing some painting. I plan on painting something for my case manager.
  • Read. Pretty self explanitory.
  • Clean my apartment
  • Workbook

Monday:

  • Blog. This is the day where not only will posting my poem for the intro to poetry course but start the weekly fictional writing prompt. I’ll be doing the writing prompt every Monday.
  • Attend Knitting Group
  • Attend Art Group
  • See my case manager
  • See temporary therapist, Gilbert
  • Read
  • Workbook

Tuesday:

  • Phone Interview
  • Read
  • Clean apartment
  • Art
  • Blog
  • Workbook

Wednesday:

  • Go to clubhouse
  • See temporary therapist, Gilbert
  • Art
  • Read
  • Clean apartment
  • Blog
  • Workbook

Thursday:

  • Go to social security office
  • Pay bills
  • Clean apartment
  • Blog
  • Art
  • Workbook
  • Read

Friday:

  • See temperary therapist, Gilbert
  • Blog. This particular post will be Fun Facts Friday
  • Art
  • Clean Apartment
  • Read
  • Workbook

Saturday:

  • Blog; Weekly check-in
  • Volunteer
  • Read
  • Workbook
  • Art

Thank you for reading my long boring post about my week to come. As you can tell I’m cleaning my apartment a lot. Its because its a disaster area. I tend to not keep up household chores when my depression gets bad. I plan on spening about 15 minutes a day to clean so I don’t get overwhelmed.

Thank you again for reading my blog. Its apreciated. Peace Out, World!!!

Addicted to Reading, Stuffed Animals & Not Being Able To Sleep

Posted on by Gertie

IMG_0245Good Morning, World!! I am finding myself wide awake just barely after three o’clock in the morning in my neck of the woods. I’m finding myself getting addicted to reading. It’s getting in the way of me sleeping at night.

Actually, I find myself reading when my insomnia is acting up and unable to sleep. The problem comes in is when I get tired and continue reading in bed. I know I should put down my book when I start getting tired however it’s difficult to do so when the book is a good read especially when I’m surrounded by my many stuffed animals.

I love being surrounded by so many stuffed animals because it helps me self-soothe when times become difficult. Difficult enough to need to hold on to one or more of them to help me. Help enough to get back to reading or whatever I might be doing at the moment. That’s why I carry a stuffed animal in my backpack when I go out and about.

Good thing its Sunday and I have nowhere to be today as I’ve been up since eight o’clock yesterday (Saturday) morning. Maybe I should get going and try to go to bed to see if I am able to sleep. If I am unable to do so, I’ll be reading once again. Its time to cuddle up with my stuffed animals. Have a good Sunday. Peace Out, World!!!

Needing Consistency W/My Mental Health Treatment Team

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! I’m a little sad as I’m having yet another change in my treatment team. It involves one of my DBT Group leaders is leaving. She was one of the biggest supports I had right after Diana left suddenly due to a life threatening illness. So it came to a shock to me when the female group leader said she was leaving. I am feeling sad. This makes the fourteenth change in my treatment team in as many months. As much as I am sad I know this group leader is going to make sure I have a goodbye with her.

Even though she is not a clinicianĀ who works with me a good portion of the time she has worked with me a great deal. That is why she is wanting to have a half an hour goodbye session with her. She say and I quote “You deserveĀ goodbye from me. We have alwaysĀ had a good rapport and you deserve to have a goodbye and proper goodbye” unquote. I’m glad I’m having a goodbye with her.

I just want to have some consistency in my treatment team and not have so many changes in as many months. Realizing IĀ was gettingĀ upset with the lack of consistency I decided to do a mindfulnessĀ exerciseĀ using the Calm app as I was on the bus home.Ā After the mindfulnessĀ exercise I listened to music. So more or I used my DBTĀ skills to help me not beĀ soĀ upset and/or angry with the inconsistency in my mentalĀ healthĀ treatment whichĀ helpedĀ reduced the urges toĀ self-harm. So I am proud of myself for reducing my anger and self harm urges by using skills.

Thank you for reading about my not so good news. I am truly proud of myself for using my DBT skills. Peace Out, World!!!

Poetry; Day Two: Faces

Posted on by Gertie

Monster’s Eyes Within The Face

by Gertie

Face’s amongst us.

Look at their face and you can not tell.

Look into their eyes.

Look deep into their eyes and you can tell there is a monster within them.

A monster that may have hurt me but helped me.

Helped me by making me stronger despite them trying to make me weak.

 

Wide Awake

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I should really try to get back to sleep however I am not really sure if I will be able to do so. The reason why I say this is because I fell asleep early and now a I am wide awake.

Since, Iā€™m wide awake Iā€™ve been reading. Reading Ship of Magic by Robin Hobb. I am really enjoying the book. A book that I am surprised to be liking due to the fact it took the first two chapters to finally get into. If you like the genres of Sci Fi and Fantasy you would like this book. I hope to be doing a book review at the end of the book. Itā€™s the first book of the Liveships TraderĀ trilogy.

I love reading book series. I love series due to the fact I end up really connecting with the characters. Connecting enough to where I donā€™t want the story to end. In fact Iā€™ve had folks tell me I should read The Wheel of Time series by Robert Jordan. People of suggested this series because it has a total of fourteen books. I though about reading it however I think it might be a wee bit long for me. Itā€™s something to think about. If I do start to read it, I know I wouldnā€™t be bored for a while.

I should get going to I can get back to reading. Thank you for reading my blog. I plan on writing my next poem for my next assignment for the course I am taking with WordPress later on today. I hope everyone enjoys their Friday. Peace Out, World!!!

Holding On To Hope Like My Life Depends On It

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! I’m sitting here at my laptop realizing that due to the lack of structure I’ve had today is making the symptoms of my depression increase. Even though its ever so slightly.Ā Depression sucks shit yet I’m still holding on to the hope that I finally got back. Holding on to it like my life depends on it because it does.

Something that helps me with hope is music. So most of today, I’ve been listening music. If I wasn’t listening to it, I was playing my flute or harmonica. For some reason I needed to depend on music to help me through.

Listening to music helped get into a creative mindset to where I did some art. I did some collaging and coloring. I also did some painting. It appears with all the collaging, coloring and painting I’ve been doing I can create my own art gallery in my apartment. The picture below is the most recent painting I did today.

IMG_0217

After doing some art I read Ship of Magic by Robin Hobb. If you’re a Science Fiction or Fantasy genre fan I truly believe you will like this book. Its the first book in The Liveships Trader’s Trilogy. I read several chapters today and needed to take a break from it for a few moments.

Those few moments of breaking from reading turned in a couple of hours. A couple of hours updating my resume’ and cover letter so I could apply for jobs. I did in fact apply for jobs. I even got a response back today to have a phone interview on Tuesday. Its hard to believe I have an interview for Tuesday.

After updating my cover letter and resume’ I realized I wanted to look at some educational opportunities.Ā So, I emailed and called a few folks about the educational opportunities and still waiting to hear back.

Thank you for reading. I hope everyone has a good rest of their day. Peace Out, World.