Tag Archives: Work

Weekly Check-In

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! This past week has had plenty of ups and downs but then again, life is a roller coaster ride. A roller coaster ride that is never the same.

The roller coast ride was mainly due to work related stuff. In fact it has been nothing but drama and when I can go back to work. The great news is I am going back to work this Monday (October 16th). The not so great news is that I will be getting a corrective action plan (CAP) for various things in which I was not informed of till I received my annual review three and a half months early before going back on medical leave. Little does work know, that I have been searching for a new job. In fact I have a pre-interview and an interview with two different potential employers.

Due to the work drama, I am so glad I have been doing mindfulness meditation practices twice daily. Actually, it has been more than that but I schedule to do mindfulness meditation practice twice daily as it helps with my mental health symptoms.

In fact mindfulness meditation is a part of the twelve step program I am in. I am really happy that I am in this particular twelve step program as I think it will be helpful for me.

I don’t have much more to write about in this particular blog post. Thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Things to Help Myself with Depression, Today

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am struggling with some depression at the moment and it sucks. On the plus side my happy light is currently on as I type this and my cat Billie is laying in my lap purring up a storm. My depression is acting up primarily because of the time of year and a recent traumatic event that occurred back in last July.

Having depression sucks but at least it has me self aware of how much doing mindfulness meditation practices really do help. I do mindfulness meditation twice daily which is scheduled and then do some unscheduled if needed.

I am of course planning on going to some online twelve step meetings at some point today because I know how helpful they are and when I go back to work I will not be able to attend as many. On a side note I went to a local twelve step meeting that is still completely online and was able to find a sponsor. I am so excited to have a sponsor as this will be helpful in so many ways.

I am also planning on doing some form of art today. In fact I am planning on coloring a giant poster I bought from Stuff2Color.com. I enjoy the stuff I color from Stuff2Color. As, I color I plan on listening to music. As of right now I will be listening to my recovery playlist or my childhood memories playlist on Spotify. Coloring and listening to music seem to go together for me.

Another thing I most likely will do is to read. I, most likely will read a horror book due to the fact that it helps with my PTSD and it is Halloween time. The book I am reading is Pet Cemetery by Stephen King. Stephen King is an amazing author.

One thing I am going to do today is work on some workbooks to help with my recovery. Focusing on my recovery is key to everything I do in my life. Everything from my personal life to my profession life at work.

Speaking of work, I am looking for a new job due to some bull crap that doesn’t appear to be fair to me at the moment. Plus, it doesn’t appear like it is a good fit for me at the moment. I am going applying for jobs online today.

I do not have much more to discuss in the particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Mid-Week Update

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It is Wednesday evening in Seattle and today starts something to help me blog more on a regular basis; Mid-Week Updates. It is something I hope to do on a weekly basis on Wednesdays.

I started off the week by attending an online twelve step meeting. A meeting I am glad that I decided to do online twelve step meetings again as they are really helpful to my recovery. Plus, I enjoy them and it helps me with my social skills.

I went to the doctors for a follow from being discharged from the hospital. My medical doctor sent in five prescriptions to the pharmacy which includes an antibiotic for a bladder infection. The doctor also sent in paperwork into my job so I can go back to work.

I picked up a butt load of medicine yesterday for my mental health and physical health. It’s much needed meds and I am grateful for them. It sadly cost me seventy five dollars and some change.

My work is being very picky about me going back to work and it is frustrating the hell out of myself, my doctors and mental health team. On that note I have a good union rep.

Thank you for reading my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, I would not be writing my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Making A HUGE Life Decision

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! Once I am able to go back to work I will be putting in my thirty day notice at work. I love my job but I am getting a corrective action plan on an annual review that was done three and a half months early. Every time I asked my supervisor what I could work on and she only brought up one thing which I have slowly but surely improved on. I was even told I “was not the right fit for the job.” They could have gotten me canned during my sixth months of probationary time. I think they are doing all this due to a disability thing but that is okay. I am already looking for new jobs.

Thanks for listening.

The Ups and Downs of Mental Health Challenges

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World from Seattle, Washington. I need to be upfront with you all and I think I have an addiction to some pills. Sadly, I gave money to a neighbor and didn’t get all the pills that I was promised. Honestly, I don’t want the pills as I don’t like how they make me feel. I do want the money back I gave to the neighbor. If he gives me the pills which I know he will, I will throw them down the toilet and inform my therapist. I think I started the pills because of a recent sexual assault that happened at the end of July of this year. I will be stopping the pills with the help of my friends and therapist.

On the plus note, I took this week off due to taking pills and didn’t want to get fired especially since I started the pills this week. I don’t want to lose my job as I love my job and the work I do. There are some other issues I am getting into trouble at work for but it has nothing to do with the pills and will discuss it at another time.

Something I have found helpful lately is doing mindfulness meditation practice. It gets me into a peaceful type of mind and more grounded. It also helps me do more journaling to process my emotions and feelings. It is helpful for my mental health recovery.

The thing that helps with ups regarding my mental health symptoms is art work. In fact coloring helps a great deal with lifting my mood as it brings up a positive mood. Another thing that I am learning is art wise Diamond Art. I am finding it fun and somewhat hitous because you have to sort some stuff out which is okay because I know it will come out beautiful.

I am also starting to do crafting projects. One I have done before and will start again and that is cross stitching. I find cross stitching fun. Another crafting that I am just starting out and having some challenges is Latch Hooking. I know I will get a hang of it once I practice more.

Another thing I need to not just practice more is to read more on Tarot. I feel like reading and practicing Tarot Cards will help me with my recovery journey. I am all for trying new things to help me with my recovery journey. Well, all except drugs and pills won’t be helpful with recovery. I do know everything mentioned in this blog post will be helpful for my recovery with the exception of drugs and pills.

I’m just really the person who I bought the pills from, that I get them so I can flush them down the toilet so I cannot have another issue on my already many issues with my mental health issues.

Thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Noon Time Update

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World from Seattle. It is officially twelve noon here in Seattle. I have a lot on my mind. Mostly good stuff but lets start with the not good stuff. I went to work on Sunday and it went well. Sadly, I did not go to work on Monday, today (Tuesday) nor will I be going tomorrow as my mental health challenges are acting up. I am only going on Thursday as I have to do a Correction Action Plan also know as a CAP and I want to make sure I attend as I don’t want my supervisor to think I am avoiding it even though I think it is not needed for various reasons I rather not discuss right now. I do plan on working on some notes that need to be done by the end of September and I know I will get paid for it.

My depression and PTSD is acting up so I started my day doing mindfulness meditation practice with the Calm App as well as cuddling with my beloved cat, Billie. Billie is a great way to do mindfulness meditation practices.

Since my PTSD symptoms are acting extremely badly by dissociation and flashbacks as well as having my depression acting up, I plan on doing some self care acts like mindfulness meditation. I plan on doing some art work by coloring and doing diamond art. I am also planning on crafting by doing Latch Hook and Cross Stitching. I am also planning on outreaching friends and family just to contact other people in my world.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!

An Unexpected Day Off

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World from Seattle!!! Well, it is still morning in Seattle. I am taking the day off unless my supervisor says it is okay to do notes from home as I take care of my grandpa. I doubt my supervisor will say yes but it is always worth asking. I might do a handful of notes even if my supervisor says no because I don’t want to get behind on them.

On another note, I get to spend time with my grandpa but sadly not as long as I would have liked to as my two uncles and I are splitting up in shifts to take care of my grandpa. I love my grandpa so much and I admit I am a spoiled brat from my grandpa as I am an only grandchild on my dads side of the family. I love spending time with my 93 year old grandpa especially since he and my grandma helped my dad raise me. I miss my grandma so very much. I am extremely grateful that at the age of 44 that I still have a grandparent alive.

Of course after helping my grandpa out, I will be hanging out with a friend who will be treating me to lunch at my favorite restaurant of Red Robin here in the Seattle area. I love Red Robin and I always get the same thing which is a Whisky Rive Barbeque Burger with extra cheddar cheese and onion strings. I also love me some endless fries with campfire sauce. Another plus side to spending time with a very good friend.

When I get home from helping my grandpa and having lunch with my friend, I will be hanging out with my cat as well as spending time with a neighbor who happens to be a great friend. My friend and I will be working on some crafting as well as some art work. My goals for the crafting and art work are learning to do some latch work as I am struggling with it. I am doing okay with the cross stitching stuff. As far as the Diamond Art I am learning how to do this and making sure I have the proper equipment for it to make sure I do it correctly. Sometimes having the correct supplies such I have the proper supplies to hold what is needed to not lose what I need to create the artwork. As far as coloring, it is the easiest thing for me to do. I love to color and sometimes my cat, Billie tries to color with me.

Billie is doing great and sleep soundly at the moment. I love my cat so very much. I am grateful for his unconditional love he gives me. Animals give unconditional love and that is why I love them so much.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog.It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog.Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

A Mixture of Middle of the Night Emotions & Ideas

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World from Seattle and it is still the middle of the middle of the night here in Seattle. In fact as I write this blog, my cat Billie is purring on my lap. I am technically on crisis coverage till eight in the morning Seattle time and will complete my crisis coverage.

On that note there is a family emergency regarding my grandpa and thankfully my uncle is taking care of it till I am off of crisis coverage at eight o’clock this morning Seattle time. I did let the appropriate people know at work about it however I totally remembered I can deal with my family emergency while finishing up my much needed notes. I will send the email about catching up on notes while helping my grandpa once I know my supervisors are awake and aware of the situation regarding my grandpa. Either way I most like will do my notes, I just want to be able to get paid for them but like I mentioned before I want to make sure the supervisors are made aware that I will being finishing my crisis coverage shift and missing my regular shift and will bring up the idea of seeing if I can get paid catching up on notes while dealing my grandpa’s emergency. I am so grateful that my uncle is currently dealing with my grandpa’s emergency as I am crisis coverage for work right now.

Right now, I am struggling with some intense emotions regarding my mental health challenges. Specifically my depression and PTSD which both suck shit.Since doing mindfulness meditation appears to help my mental health symptom help a great deal, it is one of the skills I go to first. The next thing I plan on doing is doing something creative. I plan on doing both arts at crafts. The art I plan on doing is art work by coloring and doing diamond art. When it comes to diamond art I will have to sort some stuff out which is cool. As far as crafting goes, I will be doing some cross stitching. I love being able to use my self care to help with my recovery.

I just hope when I email my supervisors again later that they will allow me to work on my notes and still get paid for it as help my grandpa with his emergency. My work is not one hundred okay with me right now but that is okay as I know I am doing the best I can. At least they treat me with respect.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. If it was not for you reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Struggling Through My Work Day With Self Care

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World from the wonderful city of Seattle. As I am starting this particular blog post, I am technically on my regular work shift and I am supposed to be working from home doing notes. I did do some notes but still need to work on them. Sadly, I have been dissociating which suck shit. To make matters slightly worse I am on crisis coverage till eight in the morning till tomorrow. I am knocking on wood that I don’t get any crisis calls especially since I had to take some of my anti-anxiety meds to help. Having taking mdeds for anxiety while on shift is not always a good thing.

On a plus not only I ordered some Taco Bell via Grub Hub to help make sure I have something in my stomach to help make good decisions for clients that I help can to the best of my ability. In fact my Taco Bell from Grubhub just arrived. Be back in a few minutes to add more to this blog post.

The food helped a great deal and am grateful for the food. I am now on to doing some mindfulness meditation to help for the work day as well as being a crisis coverage. I really hope I don’t get any crisis calls tonight.

Working is somewhat helpful with the PTSD, Depression and Anxiety but other stuff helps like mindfulness meditation and something creative such as art work by coloring and doing diamond work. I love being able to do creative things regarding my recovery and work.

I am have some issues at work but I am dealing with them with the help of my union and my therapist. I think it is now some time to read a comic book or two to help calm my mind down.

Thank you fore reading bly blog..

Still No Sleep for Me

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World from my corner of the world known as Seattle, Washington. Tonight I am on crisis coverage for work but thankfully, most if not all the calls happened earlier in the evening as well as earlier in the middle of the night. It is still the middle of the night here in Seattle and I am unable to sleep. If I can get to sleep it’s a light sleep or a sleep that wakes me up from a nightmare where I am crying, paralyzed from the body memories and scared shitless.

Honestly, part of me is glad I am on crisis coverage tonight for work but I am also thrilled that the calls have subsided a lot so I can refocus. Now lets hope I am not sticking my foot in my mouth and I get a shit ton of calls from clients and/or social workers from hospitals.

On a good note that is not too surprising Billie has been keeping company and giving me his undivided attention and of course his unconditional love. I love my Billie so very much and how he knows when I need the extra attention and love even when I can tell when he would rather have his own space. My cat truly knows how to take care of me and I hope he knows how much I truly love him. He is my best friend and yes animals can be best friends.

Speaking of friends, a friend introduced me to Diamond Art after she finished a piece for a mutual friend of ours. So, I ordered a bunch for myself and honestly got really frustrated and throughout the first two I started and gave up. Part of the reason is that I didn’t read the instructions and did not ask my friend questions. So, for the last week or so I have read the instructions and have been doing diamond art. I am finding it fun, frustrating, time consuming and a lot of progress. Which I can all correlate to not just my recovery but the recovery of other people. So, I decided to thank my friend tonight in the middle of the night on social media, specifically Facebook. My friend responded back asking if I would want to meet in the community room of our apartment building for a short while so she could give me some pointers on diamond art. I learned a lot from the education my friend gave me about Diamond Art. I love learning new things especially when it comes to creativity. I am great that this neighbor has become a great friend. After spending an hour together we came back upstairs to our own apartments.

When I got back to my apartment I was and am still feeling like harm by hitting a brick wall but I will not act on the urges of self harm especially since I am about to do a mindfulness meditation practice with my cat Billie in my lap as I do it through the Calm App.

On that note, I am going to hopefully get some sort of sleep after I am done writing this particular blog post. I don’t have much more to say except I am tired a fucking hell. I also want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!