Middle of Day Check-In

Good , World!!! So, far this is my third blog post of the day and I would be lying if I informed you if I wasn’t struggling. I am struggling at the moment however I have hope. Having hope is a good thing especially when one’s depression is acting up.

As you know from an earlier post, I am struggling a great deal. Mainly, due to not sleeping the last two nights which sucks, but I have kept myself. I, of course have colored as well as read a horror book. The thing I am most proud of is having my first conversation with my sponsor.

That conversation led me to start the first step. The first step is a huge step for everyone involved in any twelve step program. Being part of a twelve step program is healing and gives a sense of community with the meetings and having a sponsor. During my conversation with my sponsor she asked me to attend at least one more meeting today as I already attended one and have the time to attend a second one for the day. I did attend the second meeting and it was awesome.

After the meeting I decided to work on some workbooks for my mental health recovery. I worked on two separate workbooks and I am grateful that I did. I think the workbooks will help me build new skills and reinforce the skills that I currently do have. Recovery is a process and is non-linear. It also looks differently to each person as everyone’s recovery journey is unique to the individual walking along the recovery path.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader continue to read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Things to Help Myself with Depression, Today

Good Morning, World!!! I am struggling with some depression at the moment and it sucks. On the plus side my happy light is currently on as I type this and my cat Billie is laying in my lap purring up a storm. My depression is acting up primarily because of the time of year and a recent traumatic event that occurred back in last July.

Having depression sucks but at least it has me self aware of how much doing mindfulness meditation practices really do help. I do mindfulness meditation twice daily which is scheduled and then do some unscheduled if needed.

I am of course planning on going to some online twelve step meetings at some point today because I know how helpful they are and when I go back to work I will not be able to attend as many. On a side note I went to a local twelve step meeting that is still completely online and was able to find a sponsor. I am so excited to have a sponsor as this will be helpful in so many ways.

I am also planning on doing some form of art today. In fact I am planning on coloring a giant poster I bought from Stuff2Color.com. I enjoy the stuff I color from Stuff2Color. As, I color I plan on listening to music. As of right now I will be listening to my recovery playlist or my childhood memories playlist on Spotify. Coloring and listening to music seem to go together for me.

Another thing I most likely will do is to read. I, most likely will read a horror book due to the fact that it helps with my PTSD and it is Halloween time. The book I am reading is Pet Cemetery by Stephen King. Stephen King is an amazing author.

One thing I am going to do today is work on some workbooks to help with my recovery. Focusing on my recovery is key to everything I do in my life. Everything from my personal life to my profession life at work.

Speaking of work, I am looking for a new job due to some bull crap that doesn’t appear to be fair to me at the moment. Plus, it doesn’t appear like it is a good fit for me at the moment. I am going applying for jobs online today.

I do not have much more to discuss in the particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Working on My Recovery

Good Evening, World!!! I am realizing that my recent trauma is causing a lot of shit to happen in my life and I am allowing some of it to happen. Some of the shit I can control while some of it I cannot. The things I can control, I hope will help with the things I cannot control.

One of the things that I have come to the conclusion of is attending a twelve step meeting that focuses on how I react and nurture myself coming from a dysfunctional family that is full of alcoholics. The particular meeting I am attending focuses on what I can do to nurture myself as well as how I react to my dysfunctional family. As anyone who is in a 12-step program is aware of, is that attending ninety meetings in ninety days is highly suggested as well as having a “home group” to attend.

Attending therapy regularly for me is a major part of my recovery. Talk therapy helps me a great deal as does other types of therapies such as DBT, CBT and Motivational Interviewing (MI). I think my therapist does a lot of Motivational Interviewing with me as well as some DBT.

Of course working on workbooks is helpful for me when it comes to my recovery. There so many different workbooks out there that are helpful. One that I am working on now focuses on mental health recovery.

One thing that also helps me is taking medicine for my anxiety, depression and PTSD. If I didn’t take meds it would make everything else I do for my recovery much more challenging to do but it is also not the only thing.

As I have mentioned in a previous post doing at least two mindfulness meditations a day helps a great deal. It helps me start and end my day with a mostly clear mind. It also helps a great deal with my anxiety.

Acupuncture helps my depression and anxiety a lot as well as helps with physical health issues.

Lets not forget my cat Billie helps. He is extremely helpful.

I don’t have much more to discuss in this blog post. Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Unable to Sleep & Reading About Tarot

Well, I guess I can wish you a good morning since it is te middle of the night Seattle time. I mentioned in my last blog post that I would be doing some art work and crafting as well as learning about Tarot Cards. Well, I decided to not do the creative part of my plan of doing art by diamond art as well as crafting by doing latch hook and cross stitching.

Since I didn’t do the creative plan of my plan, I decided to do some education on Tarot Cards. I read most of the books about Tarot and find it an easy read. I hope that once I am done with the book that I can do the workbook so I can be ready to read my own tarot reading and document them in the tarot journals with what the reading is

I am doing the Tarot thing because I feel like it can help me with my mental health recovery. To me, anything I can try to help with my recovery can never hurt as my recovery means the world to me. I am hoping that I can start reading tarot on myself and then efficiency on my friends.

Of course as I read and wrote this blog my cat, Billie cuddled up with me. I love it when Billie cuddles up with me. I love him so much and I love the fact that he loves me unconditionally.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

No Sleep = Middle of the Night Creativity & Learning about Tarot

Happy Middle of the night from Seattle. I’ve been spending some much needed time with my cat, Billie before being creative with diamond art and learning about Tarot Cards and reading about Tarot.

I first started with diamond art as I separated the small diamonds into separated containers so I can make sure they go to the right spot on the proper sticky paper to make it all pretty with a wonderful design. I am looking forward to starting to place the tiny pieces on the design.

The next thing I plan on doing is reading a Tarot book for beginners as I want to learn more about Tarot to help with my own recovery and helpfully help others with their recovery and/or future. The cool thing is that there is a work book for Tarot as well as a way to document what your readings are regarding your Tarot reading. Also there is a Tarot journal which is very cool.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated that you read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Update From Last Blog Post

As I stated in my last blog post, I bought some drugs to help numb the pain of the trauma I experienced a couple of months ago. PTSD suck shit and so does depression. Sadly, I took the pills and they are not doing what I had hoped they would do. Which proves to me that the positive skills that I built over the years help much better that the stupid ass drugs. So no more drugs for me in pill form or in any form for that matter.

The one thing that really helps with my mental health symptoms is my cat, Billie. Billie gives me the unconditional love that I am in much need of. Cats as well as other pets know how to give unconditional love. I love my cat, Billie so very much and I am so grateful for him.

Speaking of love, I know that my friends and family love me. I may not always get along with my family but I know that they love me and support me the best they can. My friends love me as well and are my best support besides my cat being my best support. I love the fact that I have the support of my friends and family.

Lets not forget music and how it gives me a high that drugs do not give me the high. Music gives me great memories and memories to last a lifetime especially when I attend with friends. I also love playing my flute which gives me an amazing high.

Another type of creativity that gives me a good form of high is arts and crafts. As far as art goes, I do a lot of coloring and absolutely doing it. I am also learning how to do Diamond Art. So, far with Diamond Art, I have separated some items before starting the artwork of Diamond Art which I am cool with. As far as the crafting part, I am crossing stitching and am okay at it. I could do better at it but at least I am improving at it. As far as the Latch Hook part of the crafting, I am just learning how to do it and need a lot of work on it.

The one thing that helps me the most is mindfulness meditation through the Calm App. I also do mindfulness meditation with my cat when he is on my lap purring. Mindfulness Meditation helps starts my day properly as well as end it properly.

Something that I find helpful as of lately is learning about Tarot. I am learning about Tarot by reading, journaling, as well as attempting to read the Tarot Cards for myself and of course workbook. I hope that doing Tarot will help me with my recovery process.

Of course another thing that has proven helpful for my recovery is doing recovery type workbooks. Workbooks help me learn skills as well as build on skills I know that I can build on. Workbooks are very helpful for me.

I don””t have much more to discuss in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom from my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

A Sleepless Night For Me & Focusing on Recovery

Good Morning, World from Seattle. I am tired as hell as I haven’t received much sleep due to PTSD and Depression. First and foremost I want to say that I have been listening to a podcast about philosophy. The philosophy podcast I have been listening to is Philosophize This. I listened to about two episodes and learned a lot.

I of course read a book about Tarot focusing on those who are begging to learn about tarot. Not only are there books on Tarot but workbooks as well as journals. I am hoping that learning about Tarot can help me with my recovery process. I also hope to do tarot journals and workbooks it hopes to help with my recovery. With learning by reading about Tarot, I hope I can do some card reading on myself and be helpful to other people..

Something I can also do is focus on recovery focused workbooks that focus on mental health challenges and other issues such as eating disorders, self hare and substance use disorders. Workbooks have been quite helpful for me. For some people 12 step programs have been helpful.

Another thing that has been helpful for me is doing mindfulness meditation practice. I feel like practicing mindfulness meditation has been quite grounding for me especially for the challenging crap in my life.

So now to the next thing that will help me with my recovery or at least hopefully help me with my recovery. That is learning and practicing tarot cards. I plan on reading about tarot cards as well as practice tarot cards on myself to help with my own recovery. I als hope to use tarot cards to help with othe peoples recovery.

Thank you for reading my blog. It is greaty appretiated from my end of things. Peace Out, World!!!

No Sleep For Me; Time to Use Skills

As of starting this particular blog post it is 12:34 in morning Seattle time. It is currently raining quite hard once again which is nothing new this time of year in Seattle. My insomnia suck shit right now because of PTSD and Depression. I really dislike having mental health challenges. Right now I am going to start using a skill that helps me ground myself so I can do my other skills a bit easier.

I will start with doing two mindfulness meditation practices to put me into a good head space or a head space that will have me make wise mind decisions. Another thing I will do is read a couple of sacred writings from Buddhism scripture. Mindfulness meditation and Buddhism is quite helpful for my mental health recovery.

Another thing I will do is finish reading a book about Tarot for beginners. It is an easy book to read. I will also read the tiny books that come with the tarot cards to help see if I can learn anything more, before I do my first tarot reading on myself. I also plan to journal about the tarot reading and documenting the cards that were chosen. I will also attempt to do a tarot workbook but not sure if I will do that but hope I can do it.

One last thing I plan to do is a workbook that focuses on my mental health recovery. I feel like needing to do recovery workbooks for my mental health challenges will be helpful for my recovery and be helpful with my work with my therapist. I do have to say I have an amazing therapist. Of course my cat will be helpful with helping me with my depression and my PTSD.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read on my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Not the Best Night for Sleep for Me

Good Morning, World from Seattle. It is the middle of the night here in Seattle, Washington and I have not received much sleep tonight. Partly because I am on crisis coverage for work on the team I work on. There have been a handful of clients calling in crisis needing to talk and I totally understand. Life can and is challenging at times.

In fact life is challenging for me at the moment due to me dealing with my own type of crisis due to a recent trauma which is the other part of why I am unable to sleep. I am unable to sleep due to insomnia as well as PTSD symptoms such as nightmares which doesn’t help my depression whatsoever.

On that note since I have not been able to sleep due to being on crisis coverage or dealing with my own shit, I have been doing quite a bit. Lets start with the obvious of me spending time with my kitty cat, Billie. Not only do I love Billie but Billie provides unconditional love as well as helps me with mindfulness meditation practices.

Not only does Billie help me with mindfulness meditation practice, Billie also reminds me to do mindfulness meditation practice with the Calm App. I do several mindfulness meditations with the Calm App as well as with Billie and other ways I have learned to do mindfulness meditation practice.

Besides doing mindfulness meditation practices, I have been doing some art as well as some crafts. I have been doing art work by coloring as well as diamond art. The crafts I have been doing happen to be latch hook and cross stitching. Both diamond art and latch hook, I am finally sort of kind of getting the hang of it. I am really enjoying being able to do various types of arts and crafts.

I am also learning something else besides new types of arts and crafts. I am learning about Tarot and Tarot Cards by reading about it in a couple of books. Specifically books for beginners. I also have three sets of Tarot Cards as well as a Tarot Workbook. I also have three or four Tarot Card journals to put in my Tarot Card readings; specifically on myself and once I get comfortable with other people’s readings.

Since I mentioned journals and workbooks I got a couple of new journals I will start writing in. One of which will help me get myself out of my comfort zone. I also have several recovery workbooks, that I have had over the years and have never started and/or finished. So, It is my plan to not just work on the journal stuff along with the tarot stuff but the recovery workbook stuff as I feel like most everything I have mentioned has and will help me with my recovery. That includes working yesterday as well as being crisis coverage till eight in the morning Seattle time today (Monday).

Good thing I don’t have to work later today (Monday) like I normally do but I had three doctors appointments that were all sadly cancelled last Thursday and Friday. I do have a “fourth” appointment which is a follow up appointment due to a recent emergency room visit from self harming myself by hitting a brick wall. My hand still hurts like hell and the bruise is nastier than hell but at least the swelling is going down.

I do not have much more to discuss in this particular blog post. I am sorry it is such a long post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great Monday ahead as I have the day off even though I am going to see my doctor. Peace Out, World!!!

Gaining Knowledge, Wisdom & Understanding

Happy Friday, World!!! I am continuously attempting to gain more knowledge, wisdom and understanding so I can better improve myself as well as help myself to stay on my path recovery. In fact my path of recovery has been going well which is probably one of the reasons why I am focusing my attention on learning more about Tarot Cards and Buddhism. I am on this path of learning about Tarot Cards and Buddhism so, I can grow as a person as well as be of help to others.

You may be wondering how I am doing this and I am more than happy to share it with you. I have purchased books and workbooks on both Buddhism and Tarot Cards to read and do the workbooks. I am reading a book on Tarot Cards and then plan on doing a workbook after I am done reading the books. I also bought a book and workbook on Buddhism. I am also reading the book on Buddhism and plan on doing the workbook after I am done reading the book.

As of right now I am finding both books quite interesting and hope to gain more knowledge on both subjects. The books are written in layman terms which is quite helpful for me. I am hoping this will be helpful for my own recovery as well as being able to help others with their recovery.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!