Category Archives: Uncategorized

Self Soothing Due to Early Awaking

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is three o’clock in the morning here in Seattle. Unfortunately, I am wide awake. On the plus side I did get some sleep. Not as much sleep as I personally, would like but I did get some sleep.

As difficult as not being able to sleep right is, I am needing to self soothe as part of my self care plan. So, I put on one of my favorite hooded sweatshirts on. In fact the sweatshirt is of my favorite baseball team the Angels. In fact the Angels are currently in the lead for the American League West.

Besides wearing my Angels hoodie I am holding my teddy bear. A teddy bear I have had since I was born. It was given to me by my uncle. My teddy bear not only self soothes me but gives me some sort of safety. Safety from what? Who knows but I’ll take it.

After I am done blogging, I am going to do a mindfulness exercise practice. Mindfulness appears to put me in the right head space. I never thought I would say this but mindfulness is also self soothing for me. Well if it is done in a way I feel safe it is self soothing.

Thank you for reading. It is much appreciated. Peace Out, World!!!

 

 

Home From the Emergency Room (E.R)

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I am home from the Emergency Room (E.R). I went to the E.R because I self harmed again. I ended up getting stitches. While in the E.R I used my coping skills. I ended up doing some are work. Specifically, I colored mandala’s. The nurses and social work were impressed with my color scheme of the mandala’s.

The social worker on duty asked what let me to self harm this time and I explained that I dissociated and that is when I self harmed. Dissociation is a problem for me and when I self harm while dissociated it makes it that much worse for me.

Now that I am home, I will be working on one of my workbooks. Not sure which one yet but I will do one. I have found that workbooks help me with my recovery. My therapist likes the fact that I do self help workbooks to help myself and my recovery.

Thank you for reading. Peace out, World!!!

Blogging From the Emergency Room (E.R)

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! As I sit here blogging, I am writing from my laptop on gurney in hallway of an Emergency Room. The reason why I am writing from the Emergency Room is because I ended up self-harming again. I will share what type of self-harm in a later post as I don’t want to trigger anyone at the moment. To be honest with you, I am shocked as hell that the E.R staff are letting me blog at the moment. Maybe it is because they know I won’t do anything to harm myself any further than I have already.

I did use my coping skills box before I self harmed. It did help when I was using my coping skills yet I stopped using them and self harmed. It just proves to me if I use my coping skills I can go without self-harm.

I just wish recovery didn’t have so many relapses. It is non-linear and most definitely  not a straight line. Although it would be easier if it were a straight line. I do have to say this will make me a stronger person even if I don’t want it to.

Thank you for reading. I hope to update you later. Peace Out, World!!!

Tough Evening

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! This evening has been a rough one despite it being a good day. It has been rough because my PTSD. PTSD that appears to not be letting up at the moment. So this is when my coping skills box comes in handy. Skills that will be quite helpful for me to do once I am done blogging.

I think that reading might be a helpful coping skill for me to do right. Reading helps me get out of my head. Reading also helps my PTSD symptoms subside even for a brief moment or two.

Thank you for reading. It is much appreciated. Peace Out, World!!!

Successfully, Working Through Struggles

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! I am struggling at the moment yet I am having a good day. I went to the park and did some art work. I did some coloring while I was at the park. It is a beautiful day here in Seattle which is why I decided to go to the park and color. I enjoyed myself. In fact I think I got a slight sunburn as I am a little pink.

After coming home I decided to do some painting. I am going to painting how this sunny weather is making me feel. I am feeling happy at the moment despite my struggles with PTSD.

Thank you for reading and Peace Out, World!!!

So Far a Busy Tuesday

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! It is early Tuesday afternoon and so far I have done a lot today. One of the first things I did today was work of my mindfulness workbook. I started the first chapter which is on Fear and Mindfulness. I didn’t finish the chapter as I had to get go to get to my therapy appointment on time.

I showed my therapist the coping skills box I made per his suggestion. I also share the paper I wrote. He was impressed by both the box and the paper. More so that I was willing to do both. He now realizes that therapy homework will be beneficial to me and will think of assignments for me to do starting next week.

Another thing that happened today was that I found out that I have a job interview at a community mental health agency for a peer position next Tuesday. This will be a part time job which would be so much better for me than a full time job. I hope I get the job I am interviewing for next Tuesday.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

 

Monday Afternoon Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! Now that I am home, I can relax. I, overall had a good day. I of course went to art group and had a great time. I enjoyed myself like I usually do in art group.

I am glad I went to art group as well as day treatment because it helped with the isolation and depression. If I didn’t go today, I would have been home by myself not reaching out to others.

Now that I am home, Junior came over and is going to be making spaghetti for dinner. We are going to have a couple of friends come over for dinner. Having people come over is going to be a good thing for me. It is good for me to see friends to help me with the depression and isolation.

I should go help Junior with dinner. Thank you for reading. Have a wonderful day. Peace Out, World!!!

Combatting Boredom & Isolation

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am bored as I sit here in day treatment. So, I decided to blog. I know if I was at home I would be isolating and bored. Isolating is not a good thing when depression in acting up. Coming into day treatment to fight isolation is the best bet for me and my depression symptoms despite being bored.

Plus, I have art group this afternoon. I am looking forward to art group as always. For me art helps me express my emotions. Emotions that can be extremely intense for me. Intense emotions is why art is so great for me.

The weather in Seattle is beautiful today. It is suppose to get into the high sixties or low seventies. I hope it does get into the seventies as I love warmer weather. Warm weather is absolutely fabulous for me and my mood.

Thank you for reading. I hope everyone has a great Monday and work week. Peace Out, World!!!

A Goodnight’s Sleep

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I actually got six hours of sleep last night. I am thrilled that I got that much sleep. I know six hours of sleep may not seem like a lot of sleep but for me it is. Sleeping six hours is a good thing.

As much as I am excited about getting so much sleep, I woke up depressed. Waking up depressed makes me acutely aware on how vigilant I have to be today. It is not fun waking up depressed but being diligent about what I need to do to make sure I don’t make it worse.

One thing I’ll do to not make it worse is attending art group. Going to art group will help me not isolate as well as being able to expression myself. I love attending art group.

I need to get going so I can do my morning routine. Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

 

A Relaxing Sunday

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It is a beautiful day in Seattle. I have had a pretty good day despite dealing with depression. As stated in a previous post, I went to the park and read. I enjoyed myself and the weather.

Now that I am home, I will continue to read. Reading appears to be helping me a great deal as of lately. Reading is also something I enjoy immensely. For me it helps fight off depression when I am able to concentrate and thankfully, I am able to do so.

Something else that I will be doing now that I am home as well is listen to a podcast or two. Specifically, one on philosophy. I am enjoying the podcast a great deal and learning lots of awesome stuff I didn’t know before.

Everything I am doing today is helping me with my recovery. Working on my recovery is something that means the world to me. If it weren’t for my recovery I would not be blogging.

Thank you for reading and Peace Out, World!!!