Tag Archives: Art

Still a Struggle on This Sunday Afternoon

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, once again, World!!! As I mentioned in my last post I was planning on going to both an art store and book store. I did manage to go to both of the stores and bought some things that would be helpful for me in both the good and bad times.

When I got home from the stores, I decided to do some coloring while listening music. It helped temporarily but not enough to make my self harm urges to go away. The urges appear to be getting stronger.

Since they are getting stronger, I decided I would do some mindfulness and meditation practices. They helped slightly but not enough. Doing the mindfulness and meditation practices made me realize that I need to go to the hospital to get evaluated. I most likely won’t end up on in inpatient unit but at least I will be safe for a few hours.

I did call the crisis worker again. You know the one I talked about in an earlier post. So, she said, that going to a hospital is a solid idea however she wants me spend about twenty minutes with my cat. In fact I spent about a half an hour with my cat before I decided to post this.

Now that I am done spending time with my cat and blogging, I’ll be going to the hospital. I will post when I am back from the hospital as I think it is not going to be more than five or six hours if not sooner.

Thank you so much for reading my blog. No need to worry about me. You know I am going to be safe as after I am done with this post, I will be on my way to the hospital. Thank you so much, again for reading my blog. I hope you all have a good rest of your Sunday. Peace Out, World!!!

Seems Like A Sunday Of Struggles

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! I am still struggling a great deal with self harm issues. I have done the safety plan, I planned with the crisis worker I talked to before my last post. Yes, I have done some art work as well as reading. Both helped to a degree however, I still feel like self harming. I could call the crisis worker back however I came up with a better idea.

The better idea’s I came up with is to first go to the art store to pick up some art supplies. Art supplies that include canvas, paint, paint brushes and even coloring books as well as colored pencils.

After I plan on going to the art  store, I plan on going to a near by book store. Of course I’ll buy a couple of books and look for coloring books as well. The book I am currently reading will most likely be finished in a day or two so I will need a new book or two to read. Plus, getting coloring books from both the book and art stores will be helpful for me.

Blogging appears to be helping me through this minor crisis I am currently in. Blogging is one of my coping skills and has proven quite helpful for me.

Now that I have discussed how blogging helps me, I am going to go to both the art and book stores. I hope I find what I need and/or want.

Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. I hope everyone has a great rest of their Sunday. Peace Out, World!!!

Sunday Morning Blues

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I know its been a couple of hours since I last posted but things changed quite quickly. Yes, I did finish reading the new paper and watching the morning news as well as doing my chores.

Unfortunately, as I was doing my household chores, I started becoming in crisis mode. That means I have urges to self harm. I did call the crisis team of the agency I seek services at and came up with a safety plan. A safety plan that I hope I am able to keep. I can promise you all that if I can not keep my safety plan that I will go to the hospital. I am NOT suicidal. I just feel like self harming. Again, if I am unable to stay safe I WILL take myself to the hospital. Part of my safety plan, I already mentioned in my last post at that is to read the fantasy book that I decided to start reading again since I never finished the book. I am looking forward to spending time in a good book and get my mind off of the shit of self harming. I hope that reading this fantasy book will do the trick

Another part of my safety plan is being around my cat, Lil Gertie. That means playing with her as well as cuddling with. That also means giving her some pets and loves. And of course cleaning out her litter box which I already did this morning. I clean it out twice a day. I have already fed her, her wet food and she has access to her dry food 24/7 so I know she won’t starve. So yes I have already taken care of her needs for the day except for her evening litter box cleaning. Now its time for me to cuddle up to her as well as play with her. That is if she is up to it as she is a cat.

Another thing I came up with the crisis clinician is to work on my art work. We decided that both coloring and painting would be quite helpful to me. I also informed the crisis clinician that I can combine painting and collaging as it mixes genres and is really cool looking. She thought that doing art is a great way to express myself especially with that of the mixture of genres.

The last part of my safety plan was and is to blog. In fact it was the first thing I decided to do as part of my safety plan so I could inform all of you my reader of my current struggles despite getting a good nights sleep and a good start to the day. Sometimes the struggles of a mental health challenge can come out of the blue despite how well it started. Blogging is quite helpful for me to hold myself accountable to others. Just as reminder, if the urges to self harm get stronger there is no need to worry about me as I will take myself to the hospital as well as call the crisis worker I talked to back. So, I do have an added safety plan to the safety plan I am informing you of. So, for me as I already mentioned helps me be accountable to others yet I don’t want others to worry about me.

I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. You my reader are all awesome in my eyes. Again, thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

(Side Note: Yes, I know I have mentioned it already, I am NOT suicidal. If I feel like I am unable to keep myself safe I will call the crisis worker back or take myself to the hospital or in worse case scenario, I will call 911. I just want make sure you all know that I have a back up plan.) 

Once Again, I’m Sleepless in Seattle

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is almost two thirty in the morning in my neck of the woods. I am unable to sleep. I am most likely unable to sleep tonight due to the fact I took multiple naps yesterday (Friday).

One of the things I have been doing since I have been awake is playing with my cat Lil Gertie. Since she appears to be awake most nights, I think she was appreciative that I was awake and able to play with her during her normal waking hours. I love the fact that my bond with Lil Gertie is growing stronger despite her not understanding I dislike getting up at the butt crack of dawn for no apparent reason.

Another thing I have been doing is catching up on the latest issues of my Wonder Woman as I have not been able to purchase the latest issues due to the lack of money. Now that I am working I have that luxury to do so. I have also been able to read the fantasy book that I recently picked up to read. So far the book is good but I am only on the fifth chapter.

I have also been doing some art work. Mostly, I have been coloring and some collaging. Both seem to be self soothing to me. I am almost done coloring a mandala. Maybe when I am done, I will take picture to sure you my reader.

I am going to go back to reading the fantasy book I have been reading. I hope everyone has a good rest of their night if it is still the middle of the night for you. If not have a good morning and/or day. I appreciate you all reading my blog. Thank you so much for reading, I appreciate each one of you.

Before I end this post I want to remind you despite being on social security for my disability and a new job, I am attempting to make a few extra few cents to dollars with the advertisements on my blog. If you click on the advertisements I can earn as little as a couple of cents to a couple of dollars. It would be greatly appreciated from my end if you the reading can click on the advertisements so I can have extra cash to pay for holiday gifts for family and friends during the holidays.

Again, thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I appreciate all of you from the bottom of my heart. I hope everyone has a great weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

A Lazy A$$ Friday

Posted on by Gertie

Happy Friday, World!!! I have a had a lazy ass Friday.  I have pretty much done nothing today. I have mostly taken naps as I didn’t sleep last night. Despite napping a good portion of the day I spent my waking moments playing with my cat, Lil Gertie, and doing hobbies I enjoy.

One of the hobbies, I did today was scrap booking. I did this to help me with dealing with the grief of my grandma because the scrapbook I am making has many pictures of my grandma. I am not sure if I am going to keep the scrapbook or give it to my grandpa but whatever I do with it, it is helping me to deal with the grief of the death of my grandma.

Another hobby I have done today was buy some Wonder Woman comic books. Actually, I was able to get a good portion of the Wonder Woman comic books I was not able to buy as of lately due financial reasons. So that means I am catching up on the latest Wonder Woman comic books.

One of the other hobbies I did today was paint. I was painting an abstract piece of art when my cat, Lil Gertie, stepped in my paint. So that’s when I came up with an idea of her walking on my canvas. Surprisingly enough she did it and now I have a very cool painting that I will frame and put on one of my walls.  The difficult part was getting the paint off of the feet of my cat, Lil Gertie. It took about an hour to wash Lil Gertie’s feet but I have an awesome painting of her foot prints. So her stepping into my paint was a blessing despite having to wash her paws for nearly an hour due to her not liking it.

So what I have done today has been quite helpful with my recovery. I love being able to do hobbies and it overall helped with making my day of isolation a great day. Yes, my depression has been acting up however my hobbies kept me from letting it get the better of me.

Thank you so much for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. I hope everyone enjoys the rest of their Friday. Most importantly, I hope every enjoys their weekend with whatever you are doing. I know some people work weekends and hope that those who work this weekend have a good work shift. Again thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Manic Monday Madness

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!!  I don’t deal with bipolar however, I think I was Manic a little bit earlier. I am trying to get my Medicaid straightened out and it appears there was an error on DSHS which they acknowledge and they will be paying the bill for the service that should have been already.

After dealing with DSHS, I went and informed my therapist of what had. He agrees that the information I got was quite confusing him. So he is going to take me to the DSHS office on Friday to get clarity when my medicaid got turn backed on. I have it but nobody agrees of when it started. I did talk to my therapist about other shit like the PTSD and the grief.  It was overall a good session with him. It was extremely helpful for me today.

I didn’t art group like wanted to because I was too tired. Yes, I wanted to go but I was too tired so I came home and took a nap, The  nap was refreshing.  I can do art her at home.

I don’t know what else to write about at the moment. I feel like that today was full of madness due to all the red tape I had to deal with today. Thank you for reading  my blog. It is greatly appreciated. Peace Out, World!!!

Monday Morning Randomness

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I unfortunately didn’t get sleep last night despite taking my sleeping meds. I hope that at some point today that I will be able to take a nap.

Due to not getting sleep, I hope I can make through my therapy session without becoming a cranky bucket. I will be discussing with my therapist about the lack of sleep I have been getting. I know he will inform me to discuss it with my psychiatric nurse practitioner tomorrow however my therapist and I can come up with non medication ways to get to sleep. I see my therapist at eleven thirty this morning and hope that I don’t fall asleep on the bus when I go to my appointment.

The one thing I am looking forward to bu not sure I will attend is Art group. Yes, it starts a half an hour after I see my therapist however since I didn’t get any sleep last night I don’t know if attending would be a good idea as I might need to come back home to take a nap.

I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated on my end of things. Peace Out, World!!!

More Randomness About The Same Ole Shit

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, again, World!!! I am so excited for the conference next week that I created a painting expressing how I feel about attending the conference. Painting is not just for me to express my negative emotions but to express the positive emotions as well. I am thinking about taking the painting to the conference to share with people. Art is so helpful for me to express my emotions.

Even though I don’t check into the hotel to three in the afternoon on Monday, I have started packing. Which reminds me I have to get my refills for my meds on Monday before I leave for the conference. I already know what to pack but making sure I get my meds are the major thing I can’t forget to pack as I have refill to pick up on Monday.

I am also getting excited about my job interview for next Friday, August 31st for a peer specialist position. Yes, the commute will not be fun as it is about an hour each way on the bus. But on the bright side if I get the job, I will be traveling the opposite direction of the main part of the traffic nightmare since everyone tends to go toward Seattle while I’ll be going the opposite direction of most everyone else. I am not saying there won’t be traffic the direction I am going in, its just the traffic going into Seattle is worse. Look, I am getting ahead of myself as if I already got the job but I don’t know if I even got the job because I haven’t had the interview yet.

Thank you for reading!!! It is really appreciative from my end of things. Like I said in my last post, I hope to blog about the conference during my free time at the conference. I hope everyone has a great Friday. Peace Out, World.

Yet, Another Lengthy Post

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, again, World!!! It has been a long day for me and I still have a great deal on my mind. Not sure why I have so much spinning in my little brain of mine. Some of the spinning in my head is a good thing while some of it is not a good thing.

Even though I got everything taken care of at the DSHS office I am still worried about money. Yes, I have set up payment plans for medical bills that aren’t covered by Medicare and/or charity care. Hopefully, once I meet my spend down for Medicaid, I can get that back. I know things will work out in its own time.

As for needing money, I have decided to keep up the advertisements up on my blog. Every time when an ad is clicked, I get a few cents. A few cents that will eventually go into a PayPal account once it reaches one hundred dollars. That is why I am asking you my reader to click on one ad a day because every view cents adds up.

Another thing I plan on doing is selling some of my paintings. I am painting enough of them that I think I could make some money. Not much money because my paintings are all the good but it will be an extra ten to twenty dollars in my pocket.

On a plus note I had a good day. I spent half the day being an adult and the other half being a child. Being a child for a  while today is something I needed to do. I have needed to do it for a long time. Being a child is a form of self care for me.

I had a blast swimming at my grandpa’s place today.  It is always nice spending time with my grandfather. I think he enjoys the fact that I have been spending so much time with him lately. I think spending time with each other helps the both of us.

I think I have said this before but I am extremely grateful for all of you in the blogging community. There is little to no drama. In fact I have not seen drama on any blogging community. I just want to thank you for letting me into your community despite the shit I write. Just know I am proud to be a member of the blogging community.

Thank you for reading my blog. It means a great deal to me. Have a great rest of your Monday. Or the last three hours of what is left of Monday. Again thank you for reading. Have a good nights sleep. Goodnight and Peace Out, World!!!

Adulting Type of Day Turned Into A Childhood Type of Day

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! Today started out with me having to do some adulting. I had to go to DSHS and take care of a mistake that they made and was easily fixed. I then took care of some medical bills and getting charity care for most of the bills and on a payment plan for the rest of the bill. I also set up a payment plan with a collection agency due to an overdue medical bill. On top of that I got my meds and did some household chores.

After realizing that I got all my adulting done for the day by ten thirty in the morning, I realized my emotions were starting to get the better of me. The first thing I did was cuddle with my cat. I ended up playing with my cat with her wand thingy and laser which she loves playing with both.

As I played with my cat I realized my emotions were still at an uncomfortable level so I decided to do some art work. I did some painting as well as collaging. I even combined the two genres which looks really cool.

As I finished painting I decided to play with some of the toys I have which helped a great deal. It helped me deal with the childhood emotions I was dealing with when I was done doing the adulting things. There is something therapeutic about playing with toys even as an adult.

My grandpa then called me if I wanted to go over to his place to go swimming and to have dinner. I, of course said yes to this. I love swimming and it is hard to say no to free food.  I swam for a couple of hours and ate till I was stuffed.

So when I came home from my grandpa’s house, I decided to sit down at my laptop and blog about it. Dealing with both my adulthood and childhood emotions today was a good thing emotionally.

Thank you so much for reading my blog. I am grateful that I have people like you who are willing to read what goes on in my life. I hope you all had a great Monday as mine turned into an awesome one. Have a great evening. I hope all of you will continue to read my blog, no matter how much I ramble on. Peace Out, World!!!