Tag Archives: Depression

Wanting to Post but Nothing to Post

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!!! Right now, I am feeling left out or left behind. I feel like this because some of the things I am discussing to friends and family especially family don’t seem to understand how traumatic this entire lay of thing has been on not just the clients but the staff. I just feel like I have nobody to go to that understand but my therapist. I need someone other than my therapist to talk to about it. My family it traumatizing me more about talking about it with them so what the use of discussing it with them. I don’t want to wear out the friends I do have. I just feel like the only people who know are the ones I work with and we just want to discuss it with others because it will make us more upset discussing at this point.

I do have to I Billie has been a great help through all of this and keeping an eye me. I feel like I am neglecting him in a away. Mainly by not play with him as much. I love my Billie so much and he was a good boy today. I took him outside the building with his leash and harness and it was the first time he didn’t try to run back to the building door. It only last five minutes but I’m proud of Billie for it. It was also the perfect Seattle weather to do it in as well.

I don’t have much to say except thank you for reading my blog. Have a good rest of you Wednesday. Peace Out, World!!!

Too Sleepy to do Anything but Self Care

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I’ve been tired and sleepy all day. The only thing I could do today was volunteer at PAWS Cat City which helped with my depression. Of course when i got home from volunteering spent some much needed time with my Billie Dean. Billie is such love bug.

I’m been tired and sleepy all day due to insomnia last night. So I decided to read most of the day with Billie in my lap. I read some science fiction books as well as comic books. I think the reading and cuddling with my cat, Billie helped a great deal with the sleepiness and depression.

Sometimes time just lay back cuddling with my cat and reading helps with my depression.. Depression sucks shit. At least self care is helping the depression a little bit. It’s not eve eight forty five in the evening here is Seattle and I am reading for bed.

Thank you reading my blog. I hope you all have a good night sleep. Good Night and Peace Out, World!!!

A Range of Emotions

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! As I write this particular blog, I am writing in between clients and writing note about clients. I guess it’s one of the luxuries of being able to work from home part of the time. I really love my job but today has been a tough one and I am not sure why. Be back later, I have a client to see.

Okay, now I’m back after two sessions with clients and writing their notes so their insurance can pay my employer. I love my job most days and normally don’t feel drained but I’m feeling drained because nobody really knows if my employer is actually closing or not.

I blame the board of directors on this and am happy that the county is wanting to keep us open but it appears like nothing is being done. We have no leadership left. We do have one HR person left and two of the four remaining supervisors are leaving in May.

I have a range of emotions because I love my job and am grateful for it. I’m also angry, depressed and full of anxiety of what is going on. The county is giving us some hope but not much.

Working from home is helping me today because I have Billie to help me with my emotions. I love my cat so much. I wish could talk more about Billie but I have another session with a client and then a meeting. So, thank you so much for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Semi-Woe Is Me Moment

Posted on by Gertie

Hello World!!!I went to my volunteer job at PAWS Cat City like I do every Sunday. I had me a great time. I love spending time with kitties waiting for their furrever home.

On that note I got to my floor where one of my neighbors started raising her voice at me. I ignored her and passed by her so I can get to my apartment. Of course I’m greeted my by cat who escaped into the hall way and this neighbor who already yelled at me, started screaming on my cat and myself. I’ve never seen cat so scared and run back to the apartment. It took all my might to not interact with this neighbor.

I spent some time with Billie Dean to calm him down which calmed me down. Which was helpful for the both of us. I went down to the community room to get a soda not know this neighbor has going to be down there doing a puzzle. She screamed at me an called me names that I won’t mention here because I found them offence of and don’t want to offend anyone else. I got my soda and listened to her and I left the community room crying. I did not say anything to her except “I hope you have a good Sunday” and left the community room and came to my apartment. Spent some more time with a Billie Dean my cat which helped.

I then reached out to a neighbor who is a friend so I could get a good reality check and a hug. We talked about twenty minutes and I felt better. The conversation I had with the neighbor I am friends with pointed out that I wouldn’t have taken all this so hard due to my work situation and being laid off with an unknown lay of date. He said “I would be having a woe is me moment if I were in your situation. The only difference is that yours is a semi woe is me moment which is goo for you.” He also suggested the I try to be friends with some of my neighbors which is true.

I do not have much more to say. I just want to say thank you for reading my blog. If it wasn’t for you reading my blog, I would not be writing it. So, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

A Sleepless Night in Seattle for this Human but not the Cat

Posted on by Gertie

As I mentioned in my last post a colleague of mine attempted suicided. This friend and colleague are going to make it. I visited for a couple of hours and came home to do some self care. Self care that included reading about Seattle History while holding my teddy bear and other stuffed animals. Of course I am unable to sleep due to my colleague but my cat is sure sound asleep snoring a way. I love my cat so much and am appreciative that you read my blog not matter how debby downer it is or positive polly it is and everything in between. Thank you for being loyal readers.

Just Got a Dreaded Call

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!!! This is going to be a short and dreaded blog. I just got a call saying a colleague of mine attempted suicide. Thankfully, they are going to live but this is the what we expected but just not so soon. I will be visiting this colleague later today as it’s the middle of the night here in Seattle. I am grateful for my cat who is giving me the comfort and empathy, I need at the moment. I am grateful that my colleague will survive. I hope you all have a good rest of your night.

Not the not So Typical Weekly Plans Blog

Posted on by Gertie

This weeks, weekly plans are not going go as planned. I didn’t get much sleep because I ended up in the hospital because my depression and anxiety were acting up. Thankfully, I wasn’t in a suicide mode or self harm mode.

After a few hours of sleep I am going to my grandpa’s house to do laundry. So sleep and laundry are on the list for today.

Of course I will be working Monday through Friday this week. It will not be an easy week but at least my friends, family and colleagues are being supportive.

Just About Rumblings

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!!! I went to work today via going to the office tomorrow. I love going into the office as it gives me more proactive ways to do to do some work. I love my job and am sad that my employer is going under which means everyone is getting laid off. I am concerned about my clients that my employer serves. The need the help they need in the queer community .

On that note I had to go to the hospital due to having an injury. I have some major bruisers and a broken finger. My boss says I could work from home due to my injury. I love my job and that y supervisor isn’t a micromanager. My servicer is awesome.

I am happy to be home with my cat and he is helping me with the grief of being laid off from my employer. I love the fact that he comforts me with the grief with the laid offs.

I do not have much ore to say about this particular blog post. I want to thank you for reading my blog.

Overall A Good Vacation Despite the Unknown of my Lay Off Date

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! Despite finding out that my employer will be going our of business a week before my vacations and six days before my 43rd birthday, I had a good vacation and birthday. Granted it could have been better, I didn’t let it get me down.

I did not let it get it down because I had the love and support from friends, family, colleagues and of course my cat Billie Dean. I enjoyed my time in Bremerton and knowing that I have people and cats on my side supporting me. I am grateful that I had a vacation. I think I needed it so I can be the be I can be for my clients and my colleagues.

I don’t have much more to say in thing particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It it greatly appreciated that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

A Cat Sleeping in Human’s Lap While Human is Having a Sleepless in Seattle Type of Night

Posted on by Gertie

Good Very Early, Morning, World!!! It is 5:34 in the morning Seattle time and have not gotten much sleep. I think part of the reason I am sleepless in Seattle is because I am worried about the clients my employer serves. Sadly, the board of directors made the decision to close the doors of the longest running Queer mental health agency in the United States. Someone told me the world but I am not sure about that the world but I do know it’s the longest Queer mental agency in the United States.

I may not have liked finding out six days before my birthday that I will be getting a lay off without an unknown date especially since the following week; I am on my vacation. As depressing and anxiety provoking all this is, I am having an okay vacation. I was able to spend a couple of days in Bremerton an am now back home in Seattle.

It was nice getting out of town for a few days which helped a little bit with the depression and the anxiety. Now if I can get some sleep as the depression and anxiety regarding the lay offs for my job isn’t helping any of the sleep.

On the plus side of all this my cat hasn’t left my side since my grandpa watched Billie for me at my grandpa’s place. I think we are both glad to be home. I love my cat Billie Dean so very much and I know Billie loves me very much.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank for reading by blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Good night and Good early morning world!!! Peace Our, World!!!