Tag Archives: Family

Birthday Plans

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! As I mentioned in my last three post, today is my 40th birthday. A birthday I never thought I would see. A birthday I am grateful for and plan on celebrating it in a number of ways.

One of the first ways, I plan on celebrating my birthday happens early this afternoon. I plan on starting a new group. Well, not exactly new, but new in a way. Today, the DBT Maintenance Group starts and I figure it is a great way to start my 40’s as well as a way to celebrate my birthday and recovery. I know it is an unusual way to celebrate my birthday but it is much more than celebrating my birthday, it is celebrating my recovery.

Another way I am planing on celebrating my birthday is spending it with friends. In fact my friends are taking me out to dinner. They are taking me to my favorite restaurant, Red Robin. I love me some Red Robin. I have been going to Red Robin every year for my birthday since I was thirteen years old. So, that means I have been going to Red Robin for my birthday every year for the last twenty-seven years. I am grateful for my friends for taking me to Red Robin. I am glad I have friends that know me well enough to know that Red Robin is the place I want to be on my birthday.

As far as celebrating with my family, I will be celebrating with them tomorrow (Friday) due to some family member’s work schedule’s. I will be celebrating with my grandpa, dad and two uncles on my dad’s side. I would be celebrating with my mom too if she would be willing to come to Seattle but she is “too scared to drive in Seattle traffic” and I am not about to go to Olympia to celebrate my birthday with my mom especially since she is toxic for me. My family and I are going to a local mom and pop restaurant that I really like going to.

I do not have much more to say in this post. I am hoping to post again later today but not sure how the will be as it is my birthday. I want to thank you all for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a great day. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Plans

Posted on by Gertie

As I mentioned in a previous post last night (Saturday), I am starting to post my weekly plans again on Sundays. Well, it it Sunday and time for me to post my weekly plans.

My weekly plans are as follows:

Sunday

  • Blog
  • Meditation and Mindfulness practice
  • Workbook
  • Lunch with friends
  • Household chores
  • Binge watch a television show

Monday

  • Blog
  • Meditation and Mindfulness practice
  • Workbook
  • Art group
  • Get weekly meds
  • Laundry

Tuesday

  • Blog
  • Meditation and Mindfulness practice
  • Workbook
  • Therapy
  • Appointment with employment specialist

Wednesday

  • Blog
  • Meditation and Mindfulness practice
  • Workbook
  • Open Communication group
  • Schedule a time to get my taxes done

Thursday

  • Happy 40th Birthday to me
  • Blog
  • Meditation and Mindfulness practice
  • Workbook
  • DBT Group
  • Birthday Dinner with friends

Friday

  • Blog
  • Meditation and Mindfulness practice
  • Workbook
  • Word nerds group
  • Belated birthday dinner with family

Saturday

  • Blog
  • Meditation and Mindfulness practice
  • Workbook
  • Household chores
  • Binge watch a television show

Bump In The Road

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! It hasn’t been the easiest of weeks for me emotionally. Having dealt with the one year anniversary of my grandma’s death just over a week ago is challenging enough but when other shit pops up makes it that much more challenging. Granted it is small shit but it is a bunch of small shit that has been building. Sadly, some of the small shit involves family. Specifically my mom and brother. I love them both but when I can’t get both side of the story, I can’t give the “advice” my mom wants me to give her. Anyway, there is other small shit that I won’t bring up but the mom and brother shit has been the most challenging as my mom won’t let up.

Anyway, when I saw my therapist for our scheduled appointment on Tuesday we discussed what was going on and he said “this doesn’t appear to be a crisis but just a bump in the road” and I have to agree with him. We discussed how the anniversary of my grandma’s death and all the small shit that has been building has increased my urges to self harm. We, of course discussed ways for me to keep myself from harming myself when the self harm urges get strong. Before my session with my therapist ended on Tuesday we made a “check-in appointment” for yesterday (Friday) to see how things were going. I of course went to the appointment and we did a check-in. We discussed plans for the weekend as well as ways to manage self harm urges. During my “check-in” session with my therapist, I brought up the fact that one of the things I would be doing was binge watching a Netflix show called The Umbrella Academy as I watched the first show on Thursday. I found out that he binged watched it with his wife and loved it. In fact one of the things my therapist is having me do this weekend when I watch Umbrella Academy is to write a paragraph or two on each show. I am not exactly sure why he is having me do this but I am thinking he seeing how some things can be beneficial  to me.

In fact last night (Friday) re-watched the first episode and did what my therapist wanted me to do. I also watched episodes two and three. I am really enjoying the show. In fact it is a show that is up my alley. The cool thing about it is when I watched the first episode on Thursday, I have discussed it with various people and I didn’t realize how popular it was. The best part of it being a popular show is that I didn’t start watching it because everyone was watching as I didn’t realize that most people I know were watching it as well.

One of the things I have been doing this weekend thus far is some art. In fact I am working on a piece of art work for a friend of mine as a birthday present. His birthday is the day after mine. I am painting him something as he is the one who got me into painting. It is not a big painting but a painting that I think he will enjoy and appreciate.

The other things I have been doing is a workbook called “The Artist Way.” In fact one of the things of the workbook is to journal everyday.  Journaling isn’t difficult but doing it everyday and it needing it to be three pages is challenging. In fact this is a workbook my therapist suggested for me to get and work on so I decided to do so. I have only been working on this workbook for a week and I find it challenging but I am also finding it helpful so far. In fact I plan to work on it some more today.

The one thing I have been doing this entire weekend except when I am watching Umbrella Academy and the news is listening to music. I have been mainly listening my Recovery Playlist but have also been listening to some emo music. Both have been quite helpful with reducing my self harm urges. Music is very soothing to the soul or at least it is for me.

I don’t have much more to say in the post. But before I end the post I want reassure everyone that I am not a risk to do any self harm acts. I am also not at risk to attempt suicide. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. Have a great weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

A Complicated Valentines Day & Snow Finally Melting Away

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! The last week has been quite a week. In fact it was snowing here in the Seattle area for a good ten or so days and finally stopped yesterday. Granted it didn’t snow yesterday (Wednesday) but it was still at freezing if not below freezing outside so the snow stayed around. Now it is warm enough to melt the snow. It is currently raining in the city of Seattle. Sadly snow is could be in the forecast again this weekend which is something nobody really wants at the moment.

As many of you know, today is Valentines Day. A holiday I never liked even when I had a significant other as why do we need a special day to say “I love you.” This year is a complicated Valentines Day. Not as complicated as last year but still complicated. Today makes the one year anniversary of my grandma passing away. Today has been a difficult day for me and the rest of my family.

Sadly, I was not able to see my therapist this past Tuesday due to the agency I am a client at was closed due to the snow and was hoping to see him before today so we could come up with a plan to handle the grief I am dealing with today. He did call me yesterday and we discussed ways on how I can remember my grandma today. We even made another appointment for me to see him tomorrow (Friday) so, I can check in with him to see how things went today. In fact he did call me today as well to check in on me as he wanted to make sure I was still doing okay. I am still doing okay but I really miss my grandma. I am grateful for my therapist checking up on me and rescheduling our appointment.

I do not have much more to say in this post. I hope to be posting more but right now I am fighting off isolation and grief. I hope to post sometime this weekend. I want to thank you for reading my blog as it is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a great evening. Peace Out, World!!!

Nothing But Boring Sh*t

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! I am still at my grandpa’s place. I would like to be home now but I am not because my uncle is working and my grandpa has three appointments to attend. I will, however, will be going home later this afternoon. I am looking forward to going home even though it was nice to waited on a little bit due to my oral surgery but then again being waited on isn’t all what it is cracked up to be. I say this because I am sure my grandpa will throw it up in my face like he does a lot of other things. When he throws things up in my face, I tend to loose it as I hate it when things are thrown in my face especially since I never asked him to do most of the things he throws up in my face. Loosing it, over someone bringing shit up into my face is something my therapist and I are working on as it something I know longer want to do and it not very productive.

Right now, my mouth is in a great deal of pain. Not the worst pain I have experienced in regards to my oral surgery but it hurts. I think it hurts like hell at the moment is due to the fact that I attempted to eat something I haven’t tried with my dentures and healing mouth. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and well it wasn’t quite soft enough. I know I will heal and eventually get use to my dentures but I want something more substantial in my stomach than soup or a smoothie and other such foods.

Well, I am excited for this Friday. I will be spending time with a friend who I met working for my last employer. She is struggling at the moment and I am treating her to lunch. She is dealing with a lot of shit at work and needs a distraction. Another reason why I am excited for Friday is that I will be spending time with a friend I went school with from third to ninth grades down in California. She now lives in Washington, and lives about two and half hours away from me. We make an effort to get together every month or two, to catch up and have fun.

I don’t have much more to say as I don’t want to bore you with repetitive shit that I have already said. I hope to blog later when I am finally home. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a great work week. Happy Monday and Peace Out, World!!!

The Irritability That Seems Like A Never Ending Story

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am quite irritable at the moment. My grandpa is starting to get on my nerves. First he won’t put in his hearing aids to the television is up to an unbearable noise. Noise to where his upstairs neighbor came down and him to turn it down. He said “no” and then twenty minutes later the cops showed up. Lets put it this way, he refused to turn it down and now the television is turn off. He said if “I can’t hear the t.v then nobody watches it.” Which means he is only punishing himself as well as me. All he needs to do is stick in his hearing aids and put on his hearing aid amplifier and then he would not have to be miserable. I just don’t understand why he could make life easier for himself by putting in his hearing aids. If he would have just turned down the television when the neighbor complained about it then the police would’t have been called by the neighbors. But then again the neighbors dog kept my grandpa, my uncle and myself up last night due to its howling. The dog must have been loud if my grandpa could hear it without his hearing aids. I am don’t trying to excuse my grandpa but his irritability as well as some of mine was caused by the neighbors dog due to the lack of sleep from the dog howling. The other part of my irritability is caused by the commotion that was caused due the loud television and the neighbor. I don’t blame the neighbor as it is Sunday and I wouldn’t want to hear somebody else’s television however her dog kept a lot of her neighbors up last night and not just my grandpa. I guess I am just frustrated over the entire issue as it could have been preventable if my grandpa would have swallowed his pride and put on at least his hearing aids.

Another reason why I am personally irritable is the pain I am in due to the oral surgery I had this past Wednesday. I know I shouldn’t be complaining about the pain as it is only temporary but my mouth hurts like hell and yes, I know I should be grateful and I am but I highly dislike being in pain. I know overall that getting my teeth fixed will help with my self esteem however it appears to me that all I am focused on is the now which is the pain and not what it will help me with later, my self esteem.

I have yet another reason why I am irritable which is me being hungry. I am not able to fully chew yet due to my gums not being fully healed from the surgery and I am not quite use to my dentures. I am pretty much still limited to liquids and some soft foods which sucks but I know once I am healed and use to the dentures I will be able to eat even more than I was able to before my teeth were pulled. I say that because my teeth were so bad I couldn’t eat nuts and I love nuts. I know some people struggle eating nuts with dentures but I know with practice and determination I will be able to eat nuts again.

I think I need to do something to help myself not be so irritable. I think I will read a chapter or two the book that I am reading. I also will do some art work. The only things I have to do art work wise here at my grandpa is collaging and coloring. So, think with the combination with reading and the art work I have to work on will help with my irritability. Irritability that is caused by a number of factors.

I don’t have much else to say and it is almost twelve noon in my corner of the world that I think it time to get something to eat. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated, as if it wasn’t for you my reader, I wouldn’t have continued to blog. Again, thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

 

Just Another Random Post

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! I hope everyone is having a good Saturday!!! Right now I am in some pain due to having all my teeth pulled out on Wednesday morning. The only thing they gave me for pain is ibuprofen. It sucks that all they gave me for pain is ibuprofen however I understand due to the opioid epidemic here in the United States. I am hoping that the pain subsides sooner than later because I want to be able to eat solid food again. All I am eating is liquids and some soft food like scrambled eggs and cream of wheat.

I have been spending the last few days with my grandpa due to the oral surgery. He was worried how I would be taking the pain. Not only that, when I get sick or something, my mental health symptoms start to increase so I am thinking that my grandpa wanted to make sure that the oral surgery didn’t increase my mental health symptoms. Yes, my depression and PTSD has slightly increased but I think being around my grandpa has helped a great deal and the fact that my therapist and I discussed on ways to be preventive about my mental health symptoms.

I have been reading a great deal since I got my oral surgery. I am about half way done with the book I am currently reading and that is a major deal since I just had all my teeth pulled and dealing with pain isn’t helpful to one’s concentration. I am also happy that I am half way done with the book as it make me that much closer to accomplishing another one of my 2019 goals. That goal is to read six books this year. I would have a higher number but since I really didn’t accomplish reading any books last year due to my mental health, I decided to make it a realistic goal.

Speaking of goals, the one 2019 goal I already completed was getting my dental work done. Yes, I am in pain from the oral surgery and the dentures aren’t helping much in that department, it is a goal I have completed and can check off my list. In fact it is a major goal that has been accomplished for this year. I am so glad it is done and of the way or at least the major part of it is. I will still need to go in for follow ups regarding the dentures but that is the easy part of the goal.

Since it is nearly one thirty in the afternoon in my neck of the woods, I am thinking I need to get dressed for the day. I am also hoping my grandpa can take me shopping at Walmart so I can use my gift card I received for Christmas. I am not a big fan of Walmart but I am not going to waste someone’s money due to the fact I am not a fan of the place.

With that all being said, I really think I should end this post. I hope everyone has a great Saturday and weekend ahead. Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. Again, I hope everyone has an awesome weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

The Day After Oral Surgery

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! Right now, I am at my grandpa’s spending time with him. I am mainly here because I had some major dental work done yesterday (Wednesday). I got all my teeth pulled and had dentures placed in my mouth right after the oral surgery. Today, I saw the dude who made my dentures. He adjusted my dentures and they are feeling slightly better than they did. I am still in pain which is why my dentures are still uncomfortable as I am not all the way healed up due to having the surgery just yesterday.

I am really hungry at the moment. I am on a primarily liquid diet with some soft foods. It sucks shit but at least I am sorta able to eat soft foods today. Better than I thought I would. Anyway, my grandpa said he would but me a milk shake later on which will make my day. A milk shake really sounds good right now but I am drinking a smoothie I made.

I don’t have much to say except that the pain sucks and the anxiety I had in regards to the oral surgery is gone now but they quickly subsided when the dentist explained things to me. I am not sure what else to say in regards to this particular post. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope to post more later on today or some time tomorrow. Than you, again for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

A Typical Tuesday Full Of Anxiety

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It started out like any normal Tuesday but due to high anxiety, I ended having an emotional outburst of anger. Long story short I went to the day treatment program I attend at the mental health agency I am a client of. I went because I had an appointment with my therapist today. Anyway, I asked them to save a lunch for me due to the fact that when they were serving lunch, I was in my appointment with my therapist. Unfortunately, they did not save me a lunch. A couple of people made some snide comments and one person in particular wouldn’t let up so, I had an emotional outburst of anger. Part of it was due to being hungry while dealing with snide remarks while dealing with extreme anxiety dealing with extreme fear and anxiety dealing with getting all my teeth pulled tomorrow (Wednesday).

After leaving the mental health agency I am a client of, I went home and ate. I, then packed for few days to stay at my grandpa’s. I am staying at my grandpa’s for a few days due to getting my teeth being pulled. Yes, I brought my cat, Lil Gertie, with me. She most likely will be sleeping with my grandpa since I will be staying on the couch and he has a queen sized bed but that is okay as I most likely won’t be in much of a cuddling mood once my teeth are pulled. I am glad that my grandpa is letting me stay at his place for a few days as I heal from a mouth full of teeth being pulled.

I don’t have much more to say for the moment. I hope to blog tomorrow after I get my teeth pulled but I don’t think I will be up to blogging tomorrow but I will try to do so. I hope everyone has great rest of your Tuesday. Thank you so much for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. Peace Out, World!!!

There Is No Place Like Home

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am home from spending time with my family. I, actually arrived home yesterday (Wednesday, December 26th) evening but was not up to blogging or doing much of anything. The only thing I was up to doing when I got home was getting into my pajama’s and hanging out with my cat. I am so grateful to be home and I think, Lil Gertie, my cat, is glad to be home as she stayed at my grandpa’s when I was at my moms.

With all that happened over Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, I am surprised that I didn’t need to call the after hours crisis number for the agency I am a client of as it is something that usually happens with less drama. I did briefly talk with my therapist Christmas Eve for a short five minutes about my dad and his seizures. My therapist couldn’t talk longer as the agency was closing early and it was impressed upon them that they leave no later than a half an hour after closing. I informed him that if I needed to I might need to email him over the holiday and thankfully, I didn’t have to. Well, I did have to but was too busy dealing with family drama with my mom on Christmas Day to do so.

Anyway, when it was my plan to see my therapist today but when we went schedule for today during our last session he looked at his calendar and saw he had a training today so, I have an appointment with him tomorrow. I am looking forward to it as there is much I need to tell him about. I most likely will email him at some point today to update him on what happened with my mom on Christmas Day. I just want to make sure he is aware of things that are going on.

I really don’t have much more to say without repeating myself. I hope to blog again later today but I can not promise anything. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a great rest of their day. Peace Out, World!!!