Tag Archives: Family

The End of the Road

Posted on by Gertie

Think back to a moment where you’ve come to the end of the road with something important in your life—a relationship with a lover; moving out of your childhood home; graduation from school; etc. Write a scene wrapped around that moment, describing how you felt (good and bad) and how you closed the door on that chapter in your life.

This writing prompt is difficult as I can come up with a lot of end of road stories that have influenced me to where I am at in the moment in time. If it wasn’t for end of road experiences I wouldn’t be in recovery. In recovery with an eating disorder or mental health. I wouldn’t be working on my recovery with self-harm.

Its the end of the road experiences that I have experienced has been what Oprah called Awe-Ha moments. Moments that have changed my life and hope that the experiences I have had can help change the lives of others so they can go on and help others themselves.

Thinking about the end of the road not only has me thinking about my recovery but my grandma and her currently being in home hospice care. For her its the end of the road yet she still has her sense of humor. The same sense of humor that I have to help me through her dying. I hope as I deal with my grandma dying I hope I can laugh at life like she has.

Ugh, I Just Want to Sleep

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am still wide awake. I’m not sure exactly why I am not able to sleep but it’s starting to get a little annoying. Yes, maybe it’s because I have “treatment resistant insomnia” but I think something is bothering me. I’m not sure what but something is.

Yes, I realize it could be my grandma and dealing with her being at deaths door because she is in hospice care. Dealing with my grandma being in hospice is not easy yet I honestly don’t think it’s the reason I am unable to sleep.

I just wish I knew why I couldn’t sleep because if I did then maybe I could sleep. It’s something that I need to be able to work on my recovery. Hell, it not only helps with my recovery be it helps with staying physically healthy.

Thank you for reading. It’s appreciated. Peace Out, World!!!

Grief Before Death

Posted on by Gertie

I’m not sure what to call it as it’s not quite depression yet I feel like its too soon to call it grief as my grandma is still alive. I’m feeling sad about my grandma as she doesn’t have much longer to live. I don’t want her to die yet I don’t want her to suffer anymore.

To help me through this I have been using my support system a great deal. They have been there for me. I, have realized though this difficult and challenge time is that some folks I thought would be there for me are not but others have stepped up to the plate while other have gone above and beyond the call of duty.

Junior of course being one of those folks going above and beyond the call of duty. He has been making sure I’ve been taking care of my basic needs. When he is at work he has made sure someone checks in on me.

Having friends to help me through this challenging time has been a blessing to me. I am grateful for those individuals. Without friends, life would be that much more difficult for me.

Thanks for reading. Peace Out, World!!

At Grandma’s House

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! It’s Sunday afternoon and things aren’t going so well for my grandma. She is having trouble staying awake and talking when she is awake. She still has her sense of humor and laughs at my purple hair. Hell, she doesn’t like my purple hair but thats okay, she’s eighty-eight years old.

Seeing my grandma like this is difficult yet rewarding. Being able to help my family especially my grandparents is rewarding for me because they helped my dad raise me. My grandma was like a mother to me or attempted to be a mother when she wasn’t being a grandma to me.

As difficult as it is right now for me I am doing good self care like blogging and other stuff. I need t get going and help my grandpa out with my grandma. Have a great day. Peace Out, World!!!

Sunday Morning Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I haven’t got any sleep however I am looking forward to the day ahead. I am going to be go seeing my grandma later this morning. I love my grandma so much and wish she was not in home hospice care. She is home hospice due Parkinson’s Disease relate issues. It is quite painful to see her this way but at least she is mentally aware of things. She still has her sense of humor. A sense of humor that I will always remember.

As difficult as having my grandma being in hospice this where I know that my DBT skills will come in handy for me. Skills that have been quite helpful for me in the past and will be helpful for me in the present as well as the future.

Art has been helpful for me to express the emotions that are difficult to express while music speaks when words fail. Reading gets me out of my head to help me escape reality for an hour.

Thank you for reading. Have a great day. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Plans

Posted on by Gertie

Sunday:

  • Blog
  • Visit Grandma
  • Do Laundry
  • Paint

Monday:

  • Blog
  • Knitting Group
  • Art Group
  • Therapy

Tuesday:

  • Blog
  • Go To Social Security
  • Clean Apartment

Wednesday:

  • Blog
  • Recovery Coach
  • Therapy
  • Clean Apartment

Thursday:

  • Blog
  • Go To DSHS
  • Visit Grandma
  • Paint

Friday:

  • Blog
  • Doctor’s Appt.
  • Basketball
  • Therapy

Saturday:

  • Blog
  • Lunch At Red Robin w/Friends
  • Volunteer at Warm Line

Weekly Check-In

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! This week has been one of hope and insight as well as I think some growth. My therapist says he has seen a lot of growth in me and he owes it to the hope and the insight I have.

As many of you know I had two job interviews this week. Interviews that went extremely well. One went so well, that I am already on the short list and they weren’t even done interviewing yet.

My grandma went into hospice care this past week and it was extremely difficult yet she is doing quite well. She is still funny as hell.

I also volunteered at the Warm Line tonight. It’s always nice to help others and see my fellow volunteers. It was a difficult night because I ended up dealing with two callers who were suicidal. I got through it and now I’m at home relaxing. I left early due to the suicide calls and am doing good self-care.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

A Quiet Thursday

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! Today, has been a quiet day. Junior and I visited my grandma at home as she is in home hospice care at the moment. It was difficult yet rewarding. I love my grandma very much.

After spending time with my grandma Junior and I came back home to have a quiet day. We spent the day watching movies. We also had some intimate moments that we both enjoyed immensely.

If it weren’t for my recovery, I don’t think I would be able to have romantic relationship much less have an intimate moment or two. For me having a relationship with Junior is proof that recovery is well worth it.

Junior and I are now watching the Winter Olympics. Specifically, ice skating. I’m not a big fan of ice skating but it’s one difficult sport. I do appreciate the sport of ice skating.

I better get going to continue to watching the Olympics with Junior. Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

The Love Between Gertie & I

Posted on by jjuniorz

Hey! As Gertie mentioned last week, they want myself and Mama Bear to post every other Wednesday. I stepped up to the plate to post today and Mama Bear will do it next Wednesday.

I’ve decided to write about the love Gertie and I have. I originally met Gertie when she was found unconscious and unresponsive as well as barely breathing due to a suicide attempt. Gertie’s neighbor found them and called 911 when the engine company was called out to help Gertie. Fortunately, she survived that attempted suicide as well as a handful of others.

If it wasn’t for Gertie being survivor, I wouldn’t have become friends with them. Being friends with them is what helped me fall in with Gertie. Gertie has the endearing way about her that has people go to them as friends and for me it had me fall in love with them.

Thanks for reading. I hope this gives some insight of my love for Gertie. Have a great day.

Processing Grandma Being In Hospice Care

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I wish Junior was not working for a multitude of reasons. Main reason is to help me through the fact that my grandma is in hospice care. But he has to work to pay his bills.

Having my grandma in hospice is really difficult for me and my family. Something that has been helpful to be are my DBT skills. I’ve been doing a lot of reading. It’s been helping me get out of head. Art has been helpful to me as a way to express my emotions. A way to not explode on myself or anyone else. Blogging has been helpful to process all this stuff.

I don’t deal well with painful emotions and my grandma being in hospice is quite challenging. She is aware of what is going on about eighty percent of the time which makes it that much more difficult. I love my grandma and hope she doesn’t suffer.

Thank you for reading my depressing post. I hope everyone has a good night. Enjoy the Superbowl tomorrow for those of you that live in the United States. Peace Out, World!!