Tag Archives: Insomnia

Nightmares Suck Sh*t

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I woke up from a nightmare that ended up being a screaming nightmare. Screaming so loud my neighbors got worried and called the police. The police came and did a welfare check on me. They showed up and I informed them of what happened and they left.

Since they left I’ve been reading. I have been reading a History text book as well as the fantasy novel I’ve been reading for a while now. I was hoping I could go back to sleep with the reading however I have been unable to do so. I am hoping that blogging would be helpful.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World

Still Sleepless in Seattle

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It’s 3:30 in the morning in my neck of the woods and I am still unable to sleep. So, I have been reading Wonder Woman comics as well as Ship of Magic by Robin Hobb. I am slowly getting through book but immensely enjoying it. Some people call me a “Geek” because of the types of books I read and I am okay with that title. Some people may find it offensive but I don’t.

Something I’ve been doing to get back to sleep is mindfulness and meditation. It helps me relax and most the time get back to sleep. Tonight its not helping so much on the sleep side of things however it is having me be in a relaxed state of mind which is always a good thing.

I’m grateful to have skills to help me through sleepless nights like this. My recovery may depend on me getting sleep however before recovery I would just say “Fuck It” and self harm or attempt suicide because it was getting to be too much to be in my head. Now I know what to do to no be in my own head as much.

I’m going to try to get some sleep now. Have a good night and/or day in you part of the world. Peace Out, World!!!

Venting My Frustrations

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! I am sitting here frustrated at friend, attempting to not get frustrated with him or the experience he is sharing with me via text. It does appear that he is getting frustrated with himself as well as me and my experience with a similar issue especially since it deals with Social Security and Medicaid. I understand where he is coming from and am frustrated for him. It just rubs me the wrong way when he (and others) demean my own experience. I’ve been dealing with Social Security since for twenty plus years and he only ten or so years. I’m feeling like since he is older than me he thinks I don’t know anything. I informed him of my frustration and he is more frustrated.

I’m thinking I need to put this conversation on hold with my friend so I can get some sleep or attempt to do so. I’m going to do some mindfulness and meditation to help me let go of some of this as it is not my issue to fix and I think my friend wants  me to “fix” it for him. This is where I know mindfulness will be helpful for me and my own recovery.

If it weren’t for me being in recovery I wouldn’t know about my own boundaries and that I need to use my DBT skills in this situation. One of which is Mindfulness. Another is to do get sleep and do good self care like blogging. Hell, mindfulness and meditation are good self care activities or at least for me they are.

It is almost one o’clock in the morning for me and I want to get some sleep. Have a good night everyone. I hope you all have some good sleep. Goodnight and don’t let the bed bugs bite. Peace Out, World!!!!

Wednesday Morning Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Happy Hump Day, World!!! It’s Wednesday and I am looking forward to today. Lets start with what I will be doing in a couple of hours. I will be going to an interview at my former employer. I know one of the individuals interviewing me as we’ve attended all staff meetings and staff holiday parties. In fact this individual reached out to me to apply and interview. So, I’m a bit excited and anxious since I was the one who was reached out to regarding the job. It is a peer specialist job not with the same team. I’ll be interviewing for their crisis program. So, working with individuals will be challenging however I am up for the challenge.

I had a challenging night of sleep. Not because I was having issue with insomnia but because someone kept pulling the fire alarm. They found out who kept pulling it and well the person ended up going to the Emergency Room to get a psych evaluation. The individual has been having some issues with their mental health so I think it was wise that the police took them to the hospital.

My own mental health is improving which is a great thing. I’m feeling hopeful and am grateful for this emotion. I am relieved that things are starting to get better.

Thank you for reading. Have a great day. Peace Out, World!!!

 

Woo Hoo!!! I Got Some Sleep

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is 3:33 in the morning and I am up however I am excited because I actually got some sleep. Some much needed sleep. Sleep that I was thrilled to get.

Since I am up two hours earlier than expected for my job interview, I’m going to make myself and Junior a good and yummy breakfast. I think I’m going to make French Toast, scrambled eggs and chocolate milk.

After I eat I think I’m going to do my mindfulness workbook as it helps me stay focused and learn how to be my mindful of any situation I may be currently in. One thing I need to be mindful of is my job interview that is in roughly five hours from now.

I am looking forward to my job interview. It’s with any agency that is all for Peers. They are known to the community as being “Pro-Peer.” Something, that I am for is an agency that creates a good environment for Peer Specialist.

I should get going so I can follow through with what I told you I would do. I hope everyone has a good Tuesday and good day at work or whatever you do. Peace Out, World!!!!

Looks Like I Might Be Able To Sleep

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! I’m realizing that I’m tired and might be able to sleep at some point tonight. I forgot to tell you in my last post that when I talked to Gilbert, we discussed the Photography course I’m take through WordPress. To find out that he too, likes to do photography. It’s nice to know that sometimes therapist can be human with you. It make them more real.

Speaking of being real, I’m thinking I should get going because I am falling asleep at my laptop and don’t have to fall asleep while posting. Thanks for reading. Peace Out, World!!

Sleepless, Once Again, in Seattle

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I’m Sleepless in Seattle, once again. Since, I am having trouble I decided to work on my workbook: The Queer & Transgender Resilience Workbook. I am finding this quite challenging for me as its really digging deep into who I am as a genderqueer non-conforming person. Stuff that I’ve been talking to both my therapist, Gilbert, and case manager about. They are helping me process what I need to while doing this workbook.

I also decided to start another self-help work book called The Mindfulness Workbook. It’s a beginners guide to overcoming fear and embracing compassion. I figured since one of my goals for 2018 was to increase my mindfulness and meditation skills. I am incorporating this into my daily practice now in the mornings.

Mindfulness seems to be helping me a great deal with my emotions and how I reacting to them and situations. Gilbert even mentioned it on Friday which shocked me as I wasn’t sure he was observing that.  It’s even helping my mental health symptoms.

Unfortunately, the lack of sleep is not helping with the mental health symptoms which is why I should get going. I think I will try to go and attempt to get some sleep. Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World

Sleepless In Seattle & Middle of Night Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World. Ugh, I am unable to sleep. I’m unable to sleep because of insomnia and being worried about my grandma. Being worried about my grandma is what has helped me use my DBT skills.

Skills that are helping me do the one of the photography courses WordPress does for free. I’ve realized through this that I like photography. Some of the assignments I already have pictures while others I have to go out and take pictures. Most of my pictures are taken right here in Seattle while others are taken in other parts of Washington. I, of course explain where the pictures are taken if they are not in Seattle.

Another thing that has been helping me is reading. I’ve been reading a history text book. I’m finding that really interesting. I have also been reading the book I’ve been talking about for the last week or two. I’m loving the book.

Thank you for reading. Goodnight and Peace Out, World!!!

Unproductive Day & Unable to Sleep

Posted on by Gertie

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Hello, World!!! I’ve been unproductive today and unable to sleep. Or at least I feel like I’ve been unproductive despite the things I’ve done today. The picture above is one of the many things I’ve done today. I may not be finished with it but I say I was successful with my art today since I started the picture today.

Another thing I did was read. I read the book I’ve been reading for a while and am still enjoying the book a great deal. Below is a what I am reading.

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Another thing I did was watch a handful of TedTalks. I watched some on race as well as those who live with autism. Here are my notes on two of them. One is about Autism and the other about race.

The World Needs All Kinds of Minds

  • Autism is a continuum
  • To understand Autism is to think pictures.
  • Visual learning is key
  • Pattern Thinkers: Music and math minds
  • Verbal minds: Poor at drawing.
  • Photo Realistic Thinks: Poor at Algebra
  • Autistics tend to be fixated on one certain  thing

Color Blind or Color Brave

  • Race is a risky topic to talk about
  • The first step in taking action is awareness
  • Racial discrimination is bad for business
  • Color blindness means ignoring the problem
  • We have to be “color brave” by being willing to have open discussions about race.
  • Observe your environment
  • Speak up

Thank you for reading. I’m going to try and get some sleep now. Goodnight. Peace Out, World!!!

Another Early Awaking W/Something To Do

Posted on by Gertie

Happy Friday, World!!! I didn’t sleep all that well last night. I woke up from a nightmare as well as feeling slightly more depressed. A depression I’m not too worried about because I realize its there and I see my therapist Gilbert today.

Since, I’ve been awake and up since three o’clock this morning with only three hours of sleep I decided to do some reading. I, of course love the book I am reading and grateful that its a trilogy. I love book series.

Another thing I did was to go through my memory card from my camera to start the photography one course WordPress offers for free. I have found some fond memories and some weird photos wonder why I took them. I’m glad I did this as helped my PTSD a little bit.

Thank you for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a good Friday. Happy Friday and Peace Out, World!!!