Once Again, Sleepless in Seattle

Good Morning, World!!! It is ten minutes after two in the morning in my corner of the world. It is the typical rainy Seattle weather as I sit here at my laptop blogging. I don’t have much new to say except once the Olympics are over with I will now longer have cable. It’s just not something that is needed and cost a shit load of money. Money that is not worth the customer service.

Not having television means that Netflix and Hulu will my consumer ship with T.V. shows and movies. Plus not having television will allow me to read more as well as do other enjoyable activities.

Activities such as art. I am looking forward to doing more art. Art that will help me express my emotions while reading will help me get myself out of my head.

Plus, I will be able to have an excuse to play my flute more. I am so looking forward to having time without television to play my flute.

I use television as an excuse to not do shit that is helpful such as reading, playing my flute, and so on.

I should get going and attempt to try and get some sleep. Peace Out, World!!!

12 Midnight (exactly), Ramblings

Hello, World!!! It is exactly twelve midnight in my corner of the world. I was able to fall asleep since my last post but unfortunately I woke up from a stupid ass nightmare. A nightmare about what I told Gilbert in our session today.

Trauma sucks shit and wish I didn’t have to deal with however I do. Something that helps me express my emotions what I am unable to process them is art. I am going to be painting and collaging as I listen to music. Music speaks when words fail.

Have a great night and peace out, world!!!

Getting Sleepy

Hello, World!!! It’s nine thirty at night in my corner of the world. I am getting sleepy as I read my book. A book that I am immensely enjoying. A book I don’t want to put down however if I can get some sleep I am willing to put the book down. I’m thinking sleep is on the horizon for me.

Thank you for reading. I hope I am able to sleep tonight. Goodnight, World!!!

Monday Morning Rambling

Good Morning, World!!! If you read my first to blogs of the day, you would know that I had trouble sleeping. Hell, I got no sleep whatesoever but that didn’t stop be from trying to do what I needed to do to take care of myself.

Taking care of myself during sleepless nights looks different each night however there is some common ground; DBT skills. Using my DBT skills helps me with various things in my life such as not sleeping.

One of the skills of the things I did last night was read. I read a History text book. I am finding it quite interesting. I love history. It was one of my favorite subjects in school.

Another thing I did last night was some art. I painted. On some of my paintings I also did some collaging as well.

As I read and did art I listen to music which helped me. Music helped by soothing me. I love music.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Ugh, I Just Want to Sleep

Good Morning, World!!! I am still wide awake. I’m not sure exactly why I am not able to sleep but it’s starting to get a little annoying. Yes, maybe it’s because I have “treatment resistant insomnia” but I think something is bothering me. I’m not sure what but something is.

Yes, I realize it could be my grandma and dealing with her being at deaths door because she is in hospice care. Dealing with my grandma being in hospice is not easy yet I honestly don’t think it’s the reason I am unable to sleep.

I just wish I knew why I couldn’t sleep because if I did then maybe I could sleep. It’s something that I need to be able to work on my recovery. Hell, it not only helps with my recovery be it helps with staying physically healthy.

Thank you for reading. It’s appreciated. Peace Out, World!!!

Middle of the Night Rambling

Good Morning, World!!! It appears from my end that I will have another sleepless night here in Seattle. I’m getting quite annoyed with not being able to sleep. My now former psychiatric nurse practitioner says I have treatment resistant insomnia. It sucks hard core hearing this but at least someone is being upfront with me regarding this shit is quite helpful for me.

Something that has been helpful to me and my sleep is practicing mindfulness and meditation skills. Some skills I learned through DBT while I learned other skills through other sources.

I think I’m going to get going and use some mindfulness skills. Have good rest of you night/morning, every. Peace Out, World!!!

Mr. Sandman, I Want Some Sleep

Hello, World!!! I’m having trouble sleeping once again and it’s three o’clock in the morning in my neck of the woods. I am tired as hell and just want some sleep but this is why I am watching a repeat of the figure skating from last evening.

While watching the Winter Olympics, I’m more than likely going to be doing some art. Not sure if what type of art I’m going to be doing but I know I’ll be doing something. More than likely I’ll be doing a combination of collaging and painting. Maybe, I’ll even combine the two genre’s.

Thank you for reading. I hope everyone has a good Sunday and Peace Out, World!!!

Nightmares Suck Sh*t

Good Morning, World!!! I woke up from a nightmare that ended up being a screaming nightmare. Screaming so loud my neighbors got worried and called the police. The police came and did a welfare check on me. They showed up and I informed them of what happened and they left.

Since they left I’ve been reading. I have been reading a History text book as well as the fantasy novel I’ve been reading for a while now. I was hoping I could go back to sleep with the reading however I have been unable to do so. I am hoping that blogging would be helpful.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World

Still Sleepless in Seattle

Good Morning, World!!! It’s 3:30 in the morning in my neck of the woods and I am still unable to sleep. So, I have been reading Wonder Woman comics as well as Ship of Magic by Robin Hobb. I am slowly getting through book but immensely enjoying it. Some people call me a “Geek” because of the types of books I read and I am okay with that title. Some people may find it offensive but I don’t.

Something I’ve been doing to get back to sleep is mindfulness and meditation. It helps me relax and most the time get back to sleep. Tonight its not helping so much on the sleep side of things however it is having me be in a relaxed state of mind which is always a good thing.

I’m grateful to have skills to help me through sleepless nights like this. My recovery may depend on me getting sleep however before recovery I would just say “Fuck It” and self harm or attempt suicide because it was getting to be too much to be in my head. Now I know what to do to no be in my own head as much.

I’m going to try to get some sleep now. Have a good night and/or day in you part of the world. Peace Out, World!!!

Venting My Frustrations

Hello, World!!! I am sitting here frustrated at friend, attempting to not get frustrated with him or the experience he is sharing with me via text. It does appear that he is getting frustrated with himself as well as me and my experience with a similar issue especially since it deals with Social Security and Medicaid. I understand where he is coming from and am frustrated for him. It just rubs me the wrong way when he (and others) demean my own experience. I’ve been dealing with Social Security since for twenty plus years and he only ten or so years. I’m feeling like since he is older than me he thinks I don’t know anything. I informed him of my frustration and he is more frustrated.

I’m thinking I need to put this conversation on hold with my friend so I can get some sleep or attempt to do so. I’m going to do some mindfulness and meditation to help me let go of some of this as it is not my issue to fix and I think my friend wants  me to “fix” it for him. This is where I know mindfulness will be helpful for me and my own recovery.

If it weren’t for me being in recovery I wouldn’t know about my own boundaries and that I need to use my DBT skills in this situation. One of which is Mindfulness. Another is to do get sleep and do good self care like blogging. Hell, mindfulness and meditation are good self care activities or at least for me they are.

It is almost one o’clock in the morning for me and I want to get some sleep. Have a good night everyone. I hope you all have some good sleep. Goodnight and don’t let the bed bugs bite. Peace Out, World!!!!