Tag Archives: Mental Illness

June Gloom = A Blah Type of Day

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! It is a typical Seattle June Gloom type of day. With the June Gloom day and how I am feeling, it is a blah type of day. It is a type of day where I need to be aware of how I am doing as days like this can easily turn into days where my depression acts up. I do think that days like today are needed from time to time. Sometimes days like today are meant to be lazy type of days.

Earlier today, I had a phone session with my psychiatric nurse practitioner (ANRP) and we discuss things that have been going on in my life and meds. My psychiatric nurse practitioner is a sweet woman and am greatly appreciative of her and how she listens. She increase the dosing of my sleep med in hopes of helping me sleep. I also now see her every six week instead of every four weeks which means she thinks I am doing better and I agree with her assessment.

After my appointment I went to pick up my meds from the pharmacy. I had a great conversation with the pharmacist who is awesome and on top of their game. After getting my meds, I went to the Amazon locker where my package was delivered to, to pick it up. Getting out of the apartment to do these two errands helped my mood a great deal.

Since getting home from my two errands, I have been doing some art work while listening to a podcast about philosophy. Specifically, I am coloring as I listen to the podcast, Philosophize This. Coloring and listening to Philosophize This has been quite relaxing for me. Of course, my cat, Billie Dean has been “helping” me with my coloring and he appears to be enjoying listening to Philosophize This. Spending time with my cat, Billie while doing things I enjoy is a great way to spend my day.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you do read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great rest of their Tuesday. I also hope everyone has a great rest of their week with whatever you are doing. Peace Out, World!!!

Mr. Sandman Never Showed Up

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! Apparently, the sandman forgot to stop by my place as I have not been able to sleep. I have been up all night and am grateful for my cat, Billie Dean’s company. Billie has been awesome company since I adopted him in February especially on sleepless night like last night.

Since my last post I watched movies. The movies I watched were under the genre of comedy as I know that humor works great to help me relax. Hopefully, relaxed enough for me to sleep even if it is for a few hours. Anyway, Billie laid on my lap as I watched the movies. I watched Little Miss Sunshine and Ted. I love both movies.

I am going to end this particular blog post in hopes that I can get some sleep. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great Wednesday ahead of them. Peace Out, World!!!

Just a Random Monday Evening Post

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! Today has been an okay day. My emotions have been up and down today. I owe the up and down emotions due to the lack of sleep and the recent trauma I experienced. Overall, I think I am doing okay with dealing with the many emotions I am feeling, despite not wanting to feel some of them.

One of the ways that helped me deal with my emotions is going in and volunteering at PAWS Cat City. It is officially kitten season and am grateful to get some kitten time in. As much as I love kittens and would really want one, I realize as I volunteer at PAWS Cat City, why having a kitten is not conducive for me to have one at the moment. Mainly because they are a great deal of work and I do not have time to invest in a kitten right now. Plus, I have Billie Dean and not sure how he would interact with a kitten. Anyway, two kittens and a senior kitty got adopted during my volunteer shift. Adoptions are my favorite part of volunteering at PAWS Cat City. Watching the cats get a furrever home with smiling and happy humans is an awesome feeling.

Every time I come home from volunteering at PAW Cat City, Billie Dean, my cat is attached to me at the ankle if I am walking around my apartment or to my lap if I am sitting. I don’t think he is jealous of me being with other cats, I just think he has some anxiety he will be replaced or have to go back to an animal shelter. There is no way in hell he will be replaced and the only way he will go back to an animal shelter is if I am dead. I don’t plan on dying anytime soon. I love Billie so much and I am beyond grateful to have him in my life.

Something I forgot to tell you in a posted I posted yesterday is that I was taking a course through WordPress regarding commenting on people blogs. It is a five day course and tomorrow (Wednesday) is my last day. I really enjoy the course and being able to communicate with other bloggers. I really enjoy the blogging community. I love the blogging community because we have mad respect for each other and have very little drama which I greatly appreciate.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I just want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Oh How I Wish Mr. Sandman Would Visit

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am unable to sleep at the moment. I do not know why I am unable to sleep but I do have an idea. I suspect the reason why I can not sleep is due to the anxiety I am feeling after the trauma I experienced last week at the hands of a neighbor that lives on my floor. The anxiety is not a fun thing nor is it helpful in helping with sleep. Besides an increase of anxiety, I am also having an increase of PTSD symptoms. PTSD sucks shit.

On a plus note, Billie Dean, my cat is being quite helpful in regards to both the anxiety and PTSD. Having Billie as my Emotional Support Animal (ESA) has been quite helpful in my recovery. In fact when I had Lil Gertie as a cat before she crossed over the rainbow bridge, I realize how helpful she was as my Emotional Support Animal (ESA). If it wasn’t for the suggestion of my last therapist of getting a cat as an ESA, I wouldn’t have ever gotten Lil Gertie or Billie. After realizing how helpful Lil Gertie was for my recovery, I knew that having another cat as an ESA would be beneficial to me and my mental health recovery. Billie is doing an amazing job as my ESA, just like Lil Gertie did.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post so I am going to end my post. I want to thank you very much for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, I want to thank each one of you from the bottom of my hear for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great work week ahead of them. Peace Out, World!!!

Just Plain Ole Coping

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It is now evening time here in Seattle. Right now I am just plain ole coping. Coping with the recent trauma I experienced at the hands of a neighbor. It wasn’t as severe as other trauma’s I have experienced but still relatively traumatic. Traumatic enough that it triggered severe PTSD symptoms from other trauma’s I had experienced in my life.

Now let me discuss the ways I have been coping with the newest trauma in my life. First things first is that my cat, Billie Dean has been quite helpful in helping me cope. Billie has helped me keep myself grounded. Being grounded is key to keeping myself in an okay head space.

Another form of grounding for me as well as a coping skill is doing mindfulness and meditation exercises. Exercises that help me be in the present moment. For me using meditation and mindfulness as away to cope has been prove effective for me and my recovery.

Now that I have let you know how I have been coping at the moment I want to bring something to your attention and hope you help me with it. If you don’t want to, I hope you don’t feel pressured to do so. As you may have seen, I have advertisements on my blog. I have them on my blog to help me earn some money. The only way I can earn money from the advertisements is if you click on them and let them fully load. You don’t have buy anything after clicking. I only earn a cent or two for you clicking it but I don’t get paid till the amount adds up to at least one hundred dollars. I hope that you can help me by clicking on the advertisements so I can earn some extra money.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do, however, want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great week ahead of them. Peace Out, World!!!

So Far, A Weird A$$ Day

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! It has been a challenging day for me and it is still relatively early in the day. Hell, it is still considered early afternoon here in Seattle. I tried taking a nap when I got home from work but sadly the nap only lasted for two hours.

Since I was unable to sleep for very long during my nap, I decided to get up and spend time with my cat, Billie Dean. Billie is very much a lap cat who loves his belly being petted. Out of all the cats I have had throughout my life, Billie is the only one who doesn’t mind his belly being rubbed. In fact Billie loves his belly rubbed. He will turn over on his back so he can have his belly rubbed.

After spending some time with my cat Billie and the weather is not in a down pour of rain, I decided to go for a walk to Cowen and Ravenna Parks. Yes, I did say in my last post I would go to Cowen and Ravenna Park but it was looking like it was going to be a really soggy day here in Seattle. Anyway, while I walking around both parks I ran into my therapist as he was walking his two dogs. Before I went and said hi to my therapist I looked around to see if he was with anyone besides his dogs. I just didn’t want to put him in an awkward situation if he was with somebody and had to explain who I was even though he can’t acknowledge how he knows me. Anyway, I noticed he was only with his dogs so I went up and said hello. We talked for a few moments as I petted his dogs. He has some pretty chill and loving dogs. As we spoke we talked about his dogs and my cat. (No, I did not take my cat to the park.) We discussed how pets are quite helpful for people’s mental health. After about fifteen minute of talking about our pets and the weather we went our separate ways. It was just slightly awkward for me to see my therapist in the area I live in.

Now that I am home from my walk through Ravenna and Cowen Park, I will be spending more time with my beloved cat, Billie. I think Billie is happy that I spend time with him.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great rest of your Sunday. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Plans

Posted on by Gertie

Sunday

  • Get off work
  • Take a nap
  • Spend time with my cat, Billie Dean
  • Walk to and through Cowen and Ravenna Parks
  • Start working on a workbook or two again

Monday

  • Volunteer at PAWS Cat City
  • Work on a workbook or two
  • Do some form of artwork.

Tuesday

  • Clean my apartment
  • Work on workbook or two
  • Do some form of artwork.
  • Go walking to and through Cowen and Ravenna Parks

Wednesday

  • Have a therapy session via phone call or zoom with my therapist. (I am hope a zoom call as I am not to fond of phone sessions.)
  • Work on workbook or two
  • Do some form of artwork

Thursday

  • Walk through Cowen and Raven Parks
  • Do some form of artwork
  • Work on a workbook or two

Friday

  • Do some form of artwork
  • Go grocery shopping
  • Clean my apartment
  • Work on a workbook or two

Saturday

  • Enjoy a much needed day off from work. (I only work on Saturday night for a twelve plus hour night shift.)
  • Enjoy the first day of summer
  • Volunteer at PAWS Cat City
  • Celebrate the summer Solstice.
  • Work on a workbook or two

A Challenging Week With a Good Ending

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is the middle of the night on a Friday night, Saturday morning and like every week I am staying up all night. I am staying up all night to sleep all day due to working a twelve plus hour night shift on Saturday nights.

It’s been a rough week for me. Tuesday night a neighbor of mine grabbed me in the vagina as I was passing him in the hallway to get to my apartment and I ended up with an injured wrist in the process of trying to get away. I went to the emergency room to get my wrist x-rayed. Thankfully it is broken. When I got home I called the Seattle Police Department and waited for the police to show up. Sadly, after four hours of waiting I fell asleep and they called. I didn’t get to the phone in time but they did leave a voicemail saying I would need to do the report online. Fuck the cops. If I wanted to do the report online I would have done it. I wanted to do an in person report due to the fact I wanted the cops to see how badly bruised my wrist was due to trying to flee from the situation.

Anyway the social worker at the hospital called my therapist and left him a message about what happened. My therapist emailed me asking if I wanted to check-in with him and gave me times he was available. Anyway I checked-in with him and we discussed ways to keep myself safe as well as why I decided to not file a police report online. It was only a half an hour check-in but I will be having a phone session with him next week and will discuss reporting it to the police.

As I mentioned my therapist and I discussed ways to keep myself safe as well to continue to live life and not isolate. So, I decided to go with a good friend of mine to the silent protest here in Seattle. I am beyond grateful that I attended with my friend. The cool thing about it is we were introduced to the Seattle Police Chief by my friends boss. The police chief actually participated in the silent protest. I may not be a big fan of the police but I am grateful that Seattle’s Police Chief actually appears to care about her community and the people she serves. Anyway, my friend brought me home and I made him dinner to go. He was grateful for the dinner.

I am beyond grateful that I attended the silent protest as I was able to stand with my friend and support him as well as contribute to such a worthy movement. As grateful as I am that I went, I am grateful that my cat has be helpful to me in regards to what happened to me. My cat, Billie is such a blessing to me and has helped me stay stable during this challenging time.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has an awesome Saturday. Most importantly I hope everyone has a great weekend ahead of them. Peace Out, World!!!

4 Months & 2 Days With This Cutie

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It has been four months and two days since I adopted Billie Dean. I love Billie so much and I know he loves me. Billie is my emotional support animal (ESA) and he does an awesome job at it. He is such a lap cat and cuddle bug. Billie being such a lap cat has helped me a great deal just to sit and breath while being in the present moment. It is like he wants me to enjoy the moment I am in and focus on my breath. Having Billie in my life has helped me a great deal especially in regards to my mental health recovery, just like my previous cat, Lil Gertie, did. As much as I miss Lil Gertie and grateful she was in my life, I am glad Billie came into my life.

Below are some picture of my precious cat, Billie Dean. Billie is an amazing cat. There are captions below the pictures for those who are sight impaired. I hope you enjoy.

Billie laying in the same spot on the back of the chair Lil Gertie would perch herself on.
One of Billie’s favorite spots to chill.
Billie sitting on my bathroom sink by my shower as I attempt to get ready for the day.
Billie sitting on tippy top of his cat tree.

Billie chilling in a little cubby on his cat tree.
Billie looking over the arm of the chair to see what I am doing. He does this quite offten.

I do not have much more to say in this particular post. I just wanted to share pictures of my beloved cat, Billie. I hope you have enjoyed the pictures of my cat. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great week ahead of them. I also hope everyone has a good evening ahead of them. Peace Out, World!!!

The Communities I Call Family

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! As I sit here at work, I cannot help but think of how certain people become like family to you. I’ll use work as an example. When you work with people everyday, you become like family. For instance, the Saturday night shelter crew has each other’s backs when needed. We build one another up. I guess I say my colleagues are like family because we check up on each other even when we are off work.

My work colleagues aren’t the only family I have. Another family I have happens to be the community I have created while volunteering at PAWS. Specifically, PAWS Cat City and folks on my volunteer shift. That includes both employees and other volunteers. I guess my love for cats and other animals have helped me find more people to call family.

Besides my work and volunteer family, I will have to say my neighbors are family. As dysfunctional as we are in my apartment building we are a type of family. We may not always get along but when something happens we are there for each other; like families should be.

Then last but not least, my cat is family. Lil Gertie, the cat that crossed the rainbow bridge on Thanksgiving Day of last year (2019) was and still is considered my family. She was there when people let me down. Hell, she is still with me. She is my guardian angel. I truly believe that Lil Gertie played a major role in the adoption of my current cat, Billie Dean. I say this because Lil Gertie had two crinkly ears and Billie has one crinkly ear. I also believe that both Lil Gertie and Billie chose me to be their family. Being chosen by an animal to be their furrever family is an honor. I am beyond grateful that I was Lil Gertie’s family for the last year and a half of her life. She will always have special place in my heart. I am also beyond grateful that Billie is my family. I am grateful to call my cat family.

As I end this particular blog post, I hope you all ponder about who or what you call family in this life. For me family is a melting pot of people (and animals) that come into my life in various ways like I mentioned in this post. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you chose to read my blog even if this is the only post you ever read of my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has an awesome Sunday ahead of them. Peace Out, World!!!